as long as there are stars

The hella gay dildo giveaway

Around these parts, WE SAY GAY. And we love dildos. I’m giving away a rainbow-striped, limited edition dildo from Fun Factory. IT’S SO PRETTY.

“Uhhhhh. Stick.”

“What.”

“I said, give me your name, child.”

“I still haven’t picked one,” Grass defends, even now still hoping for a way out of a faeries deal.

“No. But your parents did. Give me your name, child, and it shall no longer be yours. The entity of your name shall no longer exist, and you will be free for whichever name you choose— Leaf, or Stick, or Lichen.”

“…oh.” says Petal, and in the next moment a name falls from their lips. It is not their name. It never has been. The fae is sharp and cutting and witty, that moment of softness an imagined slight.

“Very well, child. Be warned of mushroom circles, should you lose your name again.”

“Okay,” Mushroom smiles, and the Fae pulls itself away from their reality in a swirl of feathers and silk.

The mouse knight(paladin?) Noble Dandelion and her loyal steeds! Toast the reliable family-bred farm hen, and Cheering Dawn the feral rooster she goes out and tames herself as a warbird!

Also nothing delights me like the concept of chickens, but with horse barding and armor. It’s very good.

The mouse is Noble Dandelion, Holy Knight of Our Lady Of Grain! (Noble is their personal name, Dandelion their family name. Their siblings are Brave, Vivacious, Wistful, and Bitter)

Noble’s from an entire species of sapient mice who live in a fantasy world, alongside stuff like dragons and elves and regular non-sapient mice (to who they resemble, but are quite biologically distinct), and while there’s a variety of “steeds” her people utilize, Chickens are useful mounts because they’re reliable, take to training, breed well (plus you get eggs out of the deal)…and will absolutely eat your enemies when it comes down to it.

But first, you have to control them so they don’t just eat you instead.

Her hen, Toast, is from a domesticated breed and was raised as a riding animal, so Toast is already predisposed from a long line of chickens that’ve been selected for less eating-mice-atude (and probably altered a bit with magic, to boot) and trained since hatching to wear little saddles and be steered around. I haven’t thought much about specific mousefolk-engineered riding chicken breeds yet but I’ll probably hyperfocus on that eventually!

(A fun related fact: a lot of creatures like cats and foxes and other predators have a slight instinctive aversion to beings like mousefolk and ratfolk- though predation still is a very real and not uncommon danger, as a result of generations and generations of cats finding out that if you try to eat a pixie you WILL know regret, because that pixie is going to come back and cast spells on you for the rest of your nine lives. A mouse? A delicious snack. This thing that looks like but does not smell like or act like a mouse? Oh shit! It has a spear!!!!)

Naughty Chickens are resigned to pulling carts in a muzzle and blinders or slaughter. Sometimes they’re just sold to bigfolk since humans are always willing to buy more chickens, or they may be sacrificed to threats like dragonets or awakened cats in exchange for the safety of mousefolk towns. Communities with individuals who can control animals through magical means might keep more aggressive birds around as protection from outside threats. (Some mousefolk and ratfolk cultures also engage in basically high-stakes jousting with fighting roosters which is exactly as nightmarish as it sounds)

Cheering Dawn, however, Noble’s Rooster, is a feral rooster, more junglefowl than domesticated by any hands, and he was very, very intent on eating her initially.

Slay if you must, tame if you can, the beast terrorizing the fields, or join the cycle of death and life trying.

I see dragon.