#one&only.

                               SHOOT FROM THE HIP                       MOTHERFUCKER, I’M A HIPSTER.

EATING HABITS

What is their concept of ‘healthy eating’ and, by their standards, do they eat healthily?

If not, is there a particular reason why? ie, can’t afford fresh food, don’t like vegetables, because it’s convienent?

How many meals do they eat/day? How often do they snack?

Favorite foods for various meals. Favourite desserts and snacks. Favourite drinks.

Do they drink alcohol, and if so: what type, how much, how often?

Do they drink caffeine, and if so: what type, how much, how often?

Food allergies? Do they eat food they are allergic to anyway?

Dietary restrictions? If so, are they medical, religious, or self-imposed?

If they had to eat only one food for the rest of their lives with no negative effects on their health, what would it be? (Consider taste, texture…)

If they had to give up one food for the rest of their lives, what would it be? (Not a food they already don’t eat.)

Food they would describe with the “better than sex” cliche.

Is dessert before supper ok?

As a child, did their parents make them ‘clear their plate’?

Do they have any eating disorders?

Thoughts on food touching?

Do they eat breakfast?

Do they eat standing up or do they sit?

How do they eat skittles/other small coloured candies? ie, do they sort them out first, eat them in a particular order, squish them first? One at a time or giant handfuls? 

Do they eat with their hands or use utensils?

SLEEPING HABITS

Are they a night owl or an early bird?

Do they sleep enough?

Can they fall asleep anywhere? If not, what conditions do they need to fall asleep? ie darkness, bed, ambient noise.

When in bed, do they fall asleep on their tummy or their back or their side?

Do they wake up in that same position?

Any sleep disorders? If so, how do they deal with the issue/symptoms?

How many pillows and blankets do they have?

Do they sleep with a special stuffed animal or blanket or other comfort item?

Do they talk during their sleep, or snore, or kick?

Do they sleepwalk & if so, how bad is it?

Do they dream? Are their dreams good, bad, just plain weird, or prophetic? Do they remember their dreams when they wake up? Do they keep a dream journal?

BATHROOM/HYGIENE HABITS

Do they use public restrooms freely or only when absolutely necessary?

TP: under or over?

Do they prefer baths or showers? What temperature do they like their water? How long do they take, and how much of that time is actually spent washing?

Do they sing in the shower?

How do they keep their teeth clean?

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH