lady luck

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

“ ..we had to climb over the bob wire!”

“Dude, did you just say ‘bob wire’?”

“Yea man, that spiky shit!”

“You actually think it’s called bob wire? Like fucking Robert wire? You think it’s called Robert wire?”

“Well what the hell do you think it’s called?”

“It’s BARB wire you idiot! Like Barbara wire!”

*the third guy* “Oh my god. You guys. BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it is BARBED.”

“Oohhhhh!”

What’s your url?

Now take away any and all numbers (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0), take away the letters F, Z, M, Q, L, H, B, T, P, E, A, Y, S, B, D, and X, take away all dashes (-),

What’s your new fucked up version of your url?

crustycreature

A, B, D, E, F, H, L, M, P, Q, S, T, X, Y, Z

stereotypical swedish accented host 1:  oh, stop it, you’re too kind

guest: the mushrooms. de-licious

host 1: actually, we picked them ourselves.

guest: oh really?

host 1: yeah, yeah

american: where?

the music falls silent as do the people. a person chokes on their drink. everyone but the guest stare blankly into their food. 

guest: i’m sorry did I say something inappropriate?

host 1: oh no, it’s nothing, it’s nothing

host 2: don’t worry about it, yeah, don’t worry

guest: ah okay, thank god, yeah no i was just wondering where you picked the mushrooms

the party falls silent again

host 2: han var jävligt nyfiken, var han [somebody’s being fucking nosy]

guest: i don’t understand, what’s going on? have i said something inappropriate? i’m just wondering if you have a “spot” like where you pick your mushrooms, like your “mushroom spot”?

host 1, throws utensils down, raises voice and stands up: okay now you’re crossing the line, now you have- nu får du- i have to ask you to leave, please