i'm gay, johnathan

Does anyone else get pissed off when you wake up just as you were making significant progress in some bullshit task you had to do in a dream? Like great now I did all that shit for nothing

the average person loves to be like "i choose to voice my discomfort louder than you do so therefore my discomfort is greater than yours"

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

*Holding out my hand in a peace sign* You can't spell execute without cute! *In my other hand drags a long gnarled blade scraping loudly against the stone*

I saw a post on a terf blog before I blocked it from someone being like "Ummm is anybody else really concerned about the rise of antisocial kinks like pissing" and it made me laugh so hard I almost did a little antisocial kink myself

honestly “the lion doesn’t concern himself with” is a pretty good anti-ocd phrase

the lion doesn’t concern himself with managing other people’s feelings

the lion doesn’t concern himself with what ifs

the lion doesn’t concern himself with germs

the lion doesn’t concern himself with reliving that one excruciatingly painful moment for the one thousandth time and imagining a better response

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

BEH!!!!

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

it gets to a point where the toothpaste flag is unrecognizable as anything but woke misogynist pride

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

a lot of people were krilled