Your average fangirl

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

eat shit microslop

Not me starting the week at work by joking in front of the entire workplace that the best thing to happen to me last week was Sidon getting down on one knee and giving me a ring, causing mass confusion erupting in enthusiastic applause before I, in absolute panic, had to explain Sidon is a fish in Zelda and not, in fact, my partner.

I was approached by a colleague asking me what my fiancé does for a living. I explained he was a prince.