Being a teenager must be the hardest time of your life, and you cannot prove to me that I'm wrong.
I mean, okay, I guess going through debt and paying bills must be hard as hell, but it's not as hard as:
Having a horrible relationship with your parents. Like, why the fuck do your parents start to literally hate you the second you turn 13, or maybe even younger? I swear to God, they make me feel worthless and ugly. My mom always wants to fight with me and hates everything I do, and my dad is literally just there. He's not present enough to protect me or keep me from having daddy issues, but he's too present when it comes to caring about my grades. They embarrass me all the time, and all they do is make me cry. (Plus they poor af and can't afford anything for me)
Having fake friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls, but lately, since we have matured, they have become sooo fake and shallow. I mean, all they do is gossip, make me feel bad, and fight with me. I've also always felt like I need to fit in as much as possible, and I don't even know who I am anymore because of them.
Trying to look pretty. Starving yourself, putting makeup on, and always dressing like everybody else just so you don't get judged by the cool people. I'm not gonna lie here, I'm not the prettiest, and I've done and still do all those things, because if I don't, I feel like a troll who isn't even close to her friends. The second my weight goes past 47 kg, I crash out. In my friend group, I'm the one who abuses makeup like hell, and when it comes to my own style, I'd love to dress like a cute Pinterest doll, but I still put on jeans so I don't get made fun of.
Trying to get a boyfriend when nobody likes you. As I said, I'm not one of the beautiful, hot, popular girls, so it's hell trying to get a guy I'm actually into to notice me. My DMs are literally always full of weird guys who definitely are not cute, but I feel like I have to talk to them just to be nice. And I have this crush on a guy who's older than me (which happens every time, btw, thanks to my dad) who I feel will never even look at me that way. I mean, one day we flirt and stuff, and the next, he makes me feel like I don't even exist.
Having insane changes to your body that are honestly disgusting. Periods. Just, periods. It's horrible, disgusting, and makes you feel worthless.
So no, nobody can ever convince me that paying bills is harder than this. Being a teenager means constantly bleeding your energy dry just to fit into a world that makes you feel worthless, ugly, and invisible. It’s a messy, painful, and exhausting simulation and right now, I’m just trying to make it to the other side without losing myself completely.
If anyone is experiencing this just know that you're seen and you're not alone. And if anyone lived this before and got out of it alive pleaseeee give me some tips.
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