3am Can’t Sleep Fodder

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

oh you wanted chocolate atop your boston cream donut? too bad. that chocolate is for the paper bag you stupud bitch

Oh that social faux pas you committed? Nobody remembered that. Nobody remembered how you stuttered or went off topic or said something embarrassing. Well, nobody except the sorcerer who saw you do it. Yeah, he saw it. He cursed you to remembered to forever too. Yeah that’s the only reason why you still think about it. Kill the sorcerer to win.

I hope Barbie is so good and successful it makes every executive that’s turned everything bright and fun made for young girls into edgy boring teen dramas for the last ten years spontaneously combust into flames