Is there a historical or etymology reason why even though "Lady" is the feminine form of "Lord" it feels like if you use the term "Lady" as the intended form of respect, it kinda feels like you're being disrespectful by treating them like a normal person in comparison to when you use "Lord"?
(Bear in mind that all of this is a sweeping generalisation of a thousand years of history, so while most of it is broadly true in most cases, there were definitely numerous exceptions!)
Historically, feminine titles in English peerages were typically ranked as strictly inferior to their masculine counterparts. That's why a reigning king's wife is a queen, but a reigning queen's husband is a prince (or "prince-consort", if you want to get real specific); the former case admits no ambiguity regarding who's really in charge because "king" is a superior title to "queen", but in the latter case the husband can't be a king because if he was he'd technically outrank his spouse. Indeed, in many periods the only way to access a given feminine title was to marry the holder of its masculine counterpart, since women simply couldn't inherit titles. In such cases, unmarried female offspring of titled nobility and royalty would be styled "Lady" as a sort of generic "this person is a noble in theory but isn't allowed to hold a Real Title because she's a Girl" honorific.
So the short version is that the lack of respect is baked into the framework.