Waiting for Spring

"Oh."

"And fit."

Alfred felt himself blush. "Well, I do work out."

"I can tell. You're clearly filled with vanity."

The blush shifted from infatuated pink to infuriated red. Alfred's retorts stuck in his throat.

"So will you allow me this honor? I need to map out the logistics for my next book."

"You mean the smut you write." Maybe Alfred just wanted to offend him back, but Ivan nodded, seemingly unfazed. Alfred's shoulders slumped, voice more dazed than enthusiastic. "Sure, man. Why not?"

"Perfect."

"When?"

"Now would be ideal."

Before Alfred could consider any danger, he found himself being ushered into the erotica author's modest home. It smelled of cinnamon, of baked goods, of safety. Home.

Not of barely planned bondage.

And yet when Ivan took him into the living room, aside from cozy sofas and arm chairs with plush pillow decor, Alfred could see several lengths of rope, chains, and other sexual paraphernalia he hardly knew how to identify.

Alfred gulped. "You knew I'd say yes?" Or did he normally decorate like this?

"You seem curious. I thought it smart to be prepared for the best case."

"My saying yes is best case?"

"Oh, absolutely." Ivan picked up some of the rope. "I need to perfect this scene and your help will be of the utmost importance. I do not want to write subpar—smut? You called it smut, yes?"

"I mean, I'm sure it's really good smut."

"You're sure? You have never read?"

Alfred didn't know how to answer that. When he'd first met Ivan, and found out his career, of course he'd gone onto Amazon to see what sort of work he published. And of course he'd bought out his entire catalogue.

And of course he'd masturbated furiously to it over the length of the weekend it took him to consume the 7 books currently out on the market.

"I mean, I've skimmed," He finally said.

Ivan smiled. It was too knowing a smile. Alfred shifted from foot to foot, then started to shrug off his bomber jacket.

"Do I need to, like, take off my clothes, or-"

"However is most comfortable for you."

None of this was comfortable for Alfred. He stared at Ivan, and Ivan's expression softened.

"You can keep your clothes on," He said, a bit more clearly. "I'll simply work around them."

"Oh. Okay." Why did he feel almost disappointed by that?

Ivan started with his arms, directing them behind his back and looping them together. He seemed unsatisfied, readjusting a few times, before he finally started to bind them fully. Alfred felt his shoulders roll into a more accommodating position, as Ivan looped length after length of rope.

"Who taught you how to tie like this?" Alfred asked. "Do they have Boy Scouts in Russia?"

Ivan laughed softly. "I had a mentor, when I was in my early 20s."

"How old are you?"

"Not in my early 20s."

"Yeah, I gathered that. But how old-" He gasped as the rope dug in, completing his helpless position.

Ivan dropped down to his knees, beginning to use another length of rope to start binding up his legs. "Does it matter?"

"I guess not. I'm just making small talk."

"Maybe I should test gags on you too. It's not like you're in any position to stop me."

Maybe that should have been menacing. Alfred simply rolled his eyes. "When I was in my early 20s, I was taking chemistry classes and learning how to flirt with seniors. Not learning bondage."

"And how old are you?" Ivan mocked. "Your mid 20s now?"

"I…yeah, I guess. I'm 24—hey, wait, why did I answer? You didn't answer me."

"You have a very submissive nature." Ivan's tone sounded jovial, but Alfred burned red all the same.

"I do not!"

"I am the professional here, I think I would know."

"And I've been myself for twenty four years, I think I would know best actually."

Ivan finished binding Alfred's ankles firmly together. "You're going to honestly lie to me in my own home?"

"I'll do whatever I want, pal. Except, apparently, walk away. So who was this mentor of yours? Houdini?"

Ivan picked Alfred up, throwing him over his shoulder. The feeling was almost magical, until he deposited him onto his stomach upon the couch. Alfred grunted a little, turning his face to try to look at Ivan, but Ivan was already starting to hog tie him, binding his bound ankles and wrists together. "This would be easier without the clothes," He said. Sweat had started to collect on Ivan's forehead, but Alfred didn't know if this was from excitement or from heavy lifting.

It was embarrassing either way, or perhaps Alfred's own mixed emotions would only allow him to acknowledge the embarrassment aspect. Other lengths of rope began to go around his midsection. Alfred suspected these were to help support his weight, to keep him from hurting himself once he suspended from the hooks currently stabbed into Ivan's ceiling.

"Well, you should have had your boyfriend help you."

"I have no boyfriend."

"No literary guys showing interest?"

"I'm more interested in boys who know chemistry and like to flirt with seniors."

The flirtation wasn't lost on Alfred. He bit his lip for just a moment, turning his face towards the pillow on the couch, before he said breathlessly, "Well-"

But Ivan was already lifting him again. This time, he started hiking the ends of the ropes to the ceiling. "I should have utilized some of the chains as well," He grunted from the weight of Alfred. But somehow, someway he managed to suspend him all the same, Alfred's weight danging from the ceiling hooks and the ropes spread about his body.

He stared at the ground, body swaying just slightly back and forth. Alfred's heart pounded, as Ivan moved away, grabbing a notebook off his coffee table. He watched as Ivan began scribbling some notes into it, looking up at him occasionally, before returning to his writing.

"Did…did I help?" Alfred managed to ask.

"Oh yes," Ivan said, looking down at his own writing and adding a few more lines. "Your body has marvelous heft to it. It will translate well to my prose."

"Oh. Good to, uh, good to hear it." Alfred wriggled against the rope, not so much to free himself, but just test if he was able to. He didn't think he could, at least not without thoroughly destroying the other's ceiling in the process. He sighed, letting himself hang limp for a moment. "Now what?"

"Now I'm going to grab myself a drink. You are fine waiting here, yes?"

Alfred stared as Ivan started to walk away. "I guess I don't really have a—hey, wait, you're not really just going to leave me here, right? Ivan? Ivan??"

Ivan had already left the room, but at the calls of his name, he did peek back in. "Yes?"

"I mean, this seems like a waste to just-"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I mean, surely you need more research than—I mean, your books usually go a lot harder than-"

"Ah. So you have read."

"I skimmed," Alfred repeated.

"You're a fan," Ivan teased.

"I'm—look. I mean, I'm here, you're here, we have the ropes already, why not…you know…"

Ivan's smile was unreadable. "I may be able to utilize you for further research," He finally relented. And then started to walk away. "After my drink."

"How long are you going to leave me up here?"

"As long as it takes."

"I suspect," Kiku set his phone down on his own desk, covering the public etchings of a phallus probably carved during the inception of this college's days, "That you already knew the approximate answer to that question. In fact, I fearfully suspect-"

"Why fearfully?"

Kiku ignored him, "-that you actually know the exact answer, down to the month, week, day, and minute."

"No, I don't know what time he was born. Restricted Soviet records are harder to access than you'd think." When Kiku failed to laugh, Alfred held up his hands in defense. "I'm kidding! I don't know his birthday. He doesn't even have an old man Facebook or anything."

"Middle aged."

"Yeah," Alfred said dreamily. "The hot middle aged sexologist professor."

Gilbert shifted in his desk, his already crooked mouth smirking its wicked little grin at the pair of them. "He's past middle aged. You just said he's 60."

"57," Kiku corrected.

"56," Alfred micro corrected in turn. Both boys stared at him, and he shrugged. "Okay, fine, I know what month he was born. Sue me."

Gilbert's laughter was short, aggressive, but strangely earned amusement from Alfred rather than defense. "What a motherfucking cliche. Hot for teacher."

"What a motherfucking cliche," Alfred threw back at him, "The lit major talking about cliches."

"And yet the STEM faggot had to ask a basic math question to calculate Daddy's age."

"Lesson number one: work smarter, not harder. Use your resources."

"And that was only a ruse to open an opportunity to speak on Dr. Braginsky in the first place," Kiku said.

"Shut up, Psych Major," Both Alfred and Gilbert said in unison. The three of them stared at each other in stand off, before the laughter started.

It was a quick session before the clock ticked its way to the exact hour, the door opening and Professor Braginsky swishing his way towards his desk. He never came early, but he was equally never late. The time he allotted this course was exactly as valuable as he had scheduled.

Alfred watched as the Professor set down his bag behind his desk, opening a drawer and retrieving his planner, and a stack of graded essays.

Professor Braginsky was the only teacher Alfred had who required printed essays. It was a bit of a pain in the ass, but when he smelled the hot ink embed itself upon paper late at night in the library, all Alfred could think about was his professor's strong fingers turning every page, his gorgeous violet eyes absorbing every word, the muscles of his arms flexing with every minute movement and twitch.

Those same arms were covered with long sleeves today, despite the warm Spring weather. The turtleneck hugged his throat coyly, and Alfred imagined himself tugging the fabric down to dust kisses to his soft, pale flesh.

He crossed one leg over the other, or at least tried to, but his knee bumped up against the bottom of the desk. He grimaced, setting his feet flat against the ground once again and grabbing his pencil, gnawing quietly on the eraser as he watched the educator wordlessly flip through the pile of graded essays.

The tone of the classroom had gone quiet, and then eerily still at the physical acknowledgment of their latest assignment.

"I appreciate the candid vulnerability on display among some of you," Dr. Braginsky's voice was soft, or perhaps Alfred just felt the need to lean forward hungrily for every syllable out of his own obsession. "These essays are simultaneously more polished and more honest than anything I've seen produced thus far this semester."

Alfred grinned. The assignments had asked a lot of them, a mix of academic research and personal connection. He'd stressed how confidential everything would be, how fundamentally important it was for whatever happened within these walls to stay within these walls.

Alfred had taken the opportunity to lie profusely. At first it had been necessity—everyone shared so many outrageous personal stories in class, Alfred couldn't very well admit he was a virgin, a virgin who hadn't even realized he was gay until the semester earlier, a gay virgin who hadn't even realized he was a boy until the night before his 18th birthday. There was nothing compelling about his story.

So at first he wanted to impress his classmates.

And then, remarkably quickly, he'd wanted to impress his professor.

And it hadn't worked at all. His grade was sitting at a solid B, neither a minus nor a plus, though it was by far the worst grade in his repertoire of classes (stacked mostly with science and mathematics, this was meant to be an easy psych requirement).

It could be worse.

But it'd be a whole lot better if he could get Professor Braginsky to look at him with as much passion as he addressed the curriculum. He didn't need to view Alfred as a cultural milestone that defined an entire tragic generation.

But he did need him to view Alfred as someone spectacular for at least one highly memorable semester.

Bs did not a memorable boy make.

This essay would be different though. Alfred had completely forgone the research, at least in term of citation and reputable resources. He'd poured himself over hours of pornography for bodily accuracy instead, and then painted Ivan a tapestry of all the filth he'd never engaged in.

A complete sexual history of one Alfred F Jones, presented for Human Sexuality 231, Spring Semester, 2:00 PM.

And he was certain, absolutely certain, that Professor Braginsky would be so titillated, so thrilled, so aroused, that he'd have no choice but to ask Alfred to stay after class and-

Dr. Braginsky slapped Alfred's essay facedown on his desk, his vast body continuing its strangely hypnotic movements to the next student to hand their papers out as well, but for once Alfred couldn't just watch the sway of the older man's hips.

The professor always left notes along with a grade, annotating with suggestions and typographical corrections. Alfred knew damn well there'd be plenty for the older man to point out for him.

He flipped his essay around.

On the top right corner, in Professor Braginsky's perfect cursive, was the assessment of the entire (fictional, but who was counting?) history of Alfred.

And he'd earned a C-.

Beneath that, two simple words.

Highly Inappropriate.

Alfred flipped through all six pages looking for anything else. Any comment, any degradation or compliment, any misplaced commas.

Nothing.

And at the end, where he'd left ample room for the professor to invite him to stay after class?

Big. Fat. Nothing.

Alfred's heart raced as Professor Braginsky went to the front of the room again. Quiet murmurs and questions came up about the other students' papers, but Alfred couldn't unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

The hour normally soared by, but this time, the second hand was syrup-sticky and lethargic. He watched the clock, and then watched Dr. Braginsky, and neither seemed to operate the way he wanted them to. He gave him no stares, neither condemnation nor flirtation.

Vaguely, he was aware that the lecture had ended. Distantly, he could hear Kiku and Gilbert get up, and both of them may have said something in passing to Alfred, but he couldn't focus on them. He thought of every kink he'd plagiarized into his essay, stolen from porn stars and erotica, and none of it had shocked or delighted or angered his professor.

It was just Highly Inappropriate.

And he suspected that he'd meant purely in an academic integrity sort of way. After all, he hadn't failed him outright. But he hadn't passed him either, and it was definitely a low enough grade to take him down to a B- overall.

Alfred didn't stand up to address his GPA though.

He stood instead to confront the teacher before he could spend his time with another course.

"Dr. Braginsky-"

"My office hours are well posted, Mr. Jones. Respect them."

"Sir-" He protested, perhaps surprising him, because the other actually turned, the same eyes that had skimmed through his essay now looking upon him like a minor annoyance.

Professor Braginsky smiled. It did not reach his eyes. "If you're dissatisfied with your essay, I will offer you an opportunity to rewrite it."

"…oh." At least he'd correctly assumed it was about his essay, though Alfred quickly stammered, "It's not about the grade, sir, it's-"

"You've had nearly the entire semester to take in my curriculum. I'll admit I'm a bit surprised by your continued insistence on ridiculous falsehoods." Professor Braginsky leaned back against his desk. This time, his smile softened. "It is difficult to be real in a world that is so often simulation, I suppose."

The words bordered on the sort of connection Alfred ached for. He pushed that down, and reminded himself of how thick Dr. Braginsky's thighs looked in his trousers instead. His pulse plummeted between his legs and he clamped his own thighs together in response.

"I was being real. Am I being punished for being a slut, sir?"

If the words were meant to shock, he managed to fail again. "Is that how you want to be regarded?"

"Well-"

"If that's the case, you'll certainly need to work on your literary voice. You come across as wholly inauthentic."

"That's not—I'm not an English major, I'm doing the best I can-"

"You're a liar, Alfred."

The words dangled between them. Alfred swallowed, his tongue sticky and dry once again.

Dr. Braginsky moved away from his desk, sauntering towards Alfred and placing a single index finger beneath his chin. He tipped his face up, leaning forward. Alfred's toes flexed in his shoes. All he had to do was arch upward and he could surely bridge the distance between them.

His soles remained flat against the ground.

"Prove to me why I should believe your words."

Alfred's skin burned where Dr. Braginsky touched him, though his fingers were cold.

"Better yet," Dr. Braginsky moved closer. Their size difference made Alfred feel something he hadn't felt in years:

Small.

Helpless.

And, desperately, achingly, hopefully:

Desirable.

"Prove me wrong."

All he had to do was move upward.

Alfred looked to the ground. The professor released his hold on him with a small chuckle.

"I cannot in good conscience give you anything higher than a C, Alfred. You didn't use a single relevant source, your formatting was inconsistent, and your interpretation of the theme was unsteady at best."

"I know," Alfred stared at his shoelaces and willed himself not to cross his arms. He didn't want to appear even more childish than the professor clearly already viewed him. His eyes stung, but he forced a grin as he finally looked up. "But I'll knock your socks off with the next paper."

"I doubt it," Professor Braginsky said cheerfully. He moved away from him, closing his planner and placing it in his bag. "And next time, Mr. Jones, I expect you to honor my office hours. Do not disturb me between classes again."

"Yes, sir."

He felt his eyes moved over him for just a moment, before he gathered his bag, his papers, and left Alfred by himself again.