Mew

is that tape

it’s the best tape there is - and i know tape, and that’s the best tape there is

this is still so fucking funny, I can’t get over this. never.

My favorite part was how walmart did that thing where they get a bunch of people to work a long part time shift, but just short enough to not be full time, thinking they could avoid giving employees healthcare. It turns out you can’t do that in Germany, so they had to give healthcare to way more employees than if they had just hired people to full time positions. 

You know if you’re going to open a business in another country it might help to know a few damn things about that country‘s culture, business practices, and laws.

they also tried to forbid employees from dating each other and a judge had to tell them that their employees personal lives are none of their business lmao

I hit a pothole (a Michigan pothole so basically a sinkhole) today and my check engine light came on. I don’t have one of those computer plugins to reset the light and I knew it was just a sensor that got knocked so I was just like “well let’s see if this works” and on the way home I swerved and hit the pothole again and the check engine light turned off

“the game” is a sleeper agent activation phrase for anyone who was in middle school between 2006 and 2009 and apparently ppl any younger than that are blissfully unaware of the psychological warfare of the game

doesn’t matter, we already lost

you’ll be cursed by happiness

“Don’t be a lesbian your partner will actually respect you and care about your feelings and make you feel good”

Hey. Reach out your hand I got something for ya.

Just learned that a Japanese term for seahorse is Tatsu no Otoshigo and it literally means “dragon’s illegitimate child”

enough bees that they reproduce and have a genetically diverse population to keep a stable beecosystem for an average human lifespan

I’m reblogging this one solely for the word “beecosystem”.

‪At the end of the day it’s really just about being a good person. It doesn’t matter how you dress or what your hobbies are … It’s just about being a peaceful and compassionate person. That’s really it. Everything else is surface and irrelevant.‬

I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying