The Official Space Party

nonbinary friend who has ibuprofen: btw i have ibuprofen if you need it

the real question isn't "how is the surgeon the boy's parent when we know his father died in the car wreck" (answer: the surgeon was a woman #feminism). what we should really be asking is, "how is the surgeon?" how will this newly widowed single mother juggle her very demanding job, her son's grief (assuming he survives the surgery), and her own grief? after losing her husband so tragically, will she ever be able to open her heart to someone else and try again? how long will that take? is she fruity at all? can i have her number? the car accident wasn't my fault btw

i have this deadly sickness called remembering

there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.

books should have a bloopers section with all the most memorable typos

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

Haven’t posted about plastic in a minute. Rest assured, I am still hard at work eating all plastic on earth

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

"If you want to do ceramics I will build around your ceramics room" was kind of a crazy gay line to be followed by "I just really thought that clown would be my girlfriend"

If you don’t let go of your prejudices and past grudges, your heart won’t blossom. 2013 is coming, let’s make a change. We only have one planet so let’s show each other some kindness.

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.