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Primus Tachonis is an all-purpose personal tragedy creator sure to spur your character to adventure specifically so they can get his ass. Whether you need an old money asshole muscling in on an institution beloved to your PC or an evil sorcerer to slaughter their entire family Primus Tachonis has the magic and the social station to create whatever tragedy is required to serve your backstory.

Primus Tachonis is so versatile as a backstory tool he has professional D&D players raving:

Primus Tachonis killed my character's best friend and now she has to figure out who she is without him! -Laura Bailey I wrote a light backstory because I was still feeling out the setting and my dungeon master used Primus Tachonis to turn my brother into a statue! -Travis Willingham Primus Tachonis is trying to take over my character's magic school and endangering her students, and she will not have that! -Marisha Rey I had intended my character to have a tense but ultimately repairable relationship with his father, but then my DM used Primus Tachonis to rip his skull from his head. Now my character is on a quest to kill every member of Primus' noble house! -Matthew Mercer My character was a happy and established local playwright until Primus Tachonis had his little brother executed. Now he's taken up the sword again in his brother's stead! -Liam O'Brian I needed someone to murder my character's wife and daughter and my dungeon master suggested Primus Tachonis, and I couldn't be happier with the result! -Robbie Daymond Even works on members of his own family! -Alexander Ward

THIS IS SAPPHIRE

THIS IS TEAL

THIS IS PERIWINKLE

THIS IS AZURE

 AND THIS IS TURQUOISE

WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT 

OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?

the girl who loved this world

dont ask

the recipe is as follows:

mina's paprika hendl

original transylvanian recipe

note: the garlic in this dish may perhaps provide defence against possible vampire attacks, therefore it is advisable to use more rather than less.

6 chicken thighs (or 1 roast chicken) | 3 onions | 4 cloves of garlic | 3 colourful bell peppers | 2 tablespoons of tomato paste | 800 g of peeled tomatoes | chili powder (spicyness as wanted) | 100 ml cream | 3 teaspoons of sweet paprika | 3 teaspoons of hot paprika | 2 teaspoons of starch | a pinch of sugar | salt | pepper

preheat the oven until it has reached circa 150°c. in the meantime, peel and finely dice onions and garlic. wash the bell peppers, remove seeds and dice finely.

wash the chicken and pat dry. sear in a cast iron pot. add onions and bell peppers and fry together briefly. then add the garlic and fry together for circa two minutes.

add tomato paste and peeled tomatoes. add paprika powder, salt, pepper and sugar. mix in chili powder for desired spice level.

put in oven with closed lid and braise for circa two hours. put on stove again after and add cream. while stirring bring to a boil and thicken with starch. add salt, pepper and chili to taste.