here’s to you for still working on stuff you never mention out loud
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@soyouhavetoscream
here’s to you for still working on stuff you never mention out loud

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And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.
You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.
In some ways, I feel like Alexander Hamilton. The picture painted of him in the musical Hamilton is one of complete and utter chaos. A walking hurricane of a person, always in the eye and never able to see the destruction around him. First burn put it best with the line, “your enemy whispers so you have to scream.” So many words were coming from that man yet so little was said. There were so many things he wanted to do, with good intention, but he went about them all wrong and now we remember him like this. A paranoid cheater who picked fights with the other founding fathers.
I’m tired. I feel like I’m always doing so much but at the same time it feels like I’m always doing nothing. I apparently don’t know how to keep friends, or find friends who treat me the way I should be treated. I refuse to admit when I’m not okay because I feel like that makes me a burden on other people. I just want to not exist for a couple of days, you know? Like not talk to people, have no responsibilities, no repercussions. Just me sleeping. Or stop time all together and let everyone all collectively take a breather.
I’ve also been extremely existential (is that the word?) lately. Just constantly thinking about how time isn’t real, money/monetary value is a made up concept that we’ve put so much societal weight on, how do we really know anything is real, things like that. I’ve managed to lose some special awareness. It feels like everyone is mad at me all the time. It feels like I always am having some sort of problem, what if I’m just being too dramatic about everything all the time?
And it really sucks because I know this is all in my head. It’s just the tiny piece of me going, “but what if it’s not?” That’s stressing me out. I have the rational thinking skills to know that I’ll be okay and I’m just sad right now and I can do things x, y, and z to fix everything. I know what I have to do, I just don’t have it in myself right now to do it.

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Bro the way my friend group tried to cancel me for kicking someone out of a game of among us. Then accuse me of bullying the person I kicked out. Then didn’t listen to any of my explanations. Then when I got upset they go “it’s just a game.”
i noticed y’all have been enjoying my novel masterposts. so im just going to keep posting because im obsessed with books like that T.T
for my study-like-rory studyblr friends who want to read all the books mentioned in gilmore girls (because hello?? who doesn’t??), here’s a list! pls let me know if i missed a book, but i think it’s quite a complete list! enjoy!!
#
1984 – George Orwell
A
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – Michael Chabon
An American Tragedy – Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes – Frank McCourt
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank
Archidamian War – Donald Kagen
The Art of Fiction – Henry James
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner
Atonement – Ian McEwan
The Awakening – Kate Chopin
Autobiography of a Face – Lucy Grealy
B
Babe – Dick King-Smith
Backlash – Susan Faludi
Balzac & the Little Chinese Seamstress – Dai Sijie
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
Beloved – Toni Morrison
Beowulf – Seamus Heaney
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers – Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women – Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt From the Blue & other Essays – Mary McCarthy
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane – Monica Ali
Brigadoon – Alan Jay Lerner
C
Candide – Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales – Chaucer
Carrie –Stephen King
Catch – 22 – Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
The Celebrated Jumping Frog – Mark Twain
Charlotte’s Web – EB White
The Children’s Hour – Lilian Hellman
Christine – Stephen King
A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters – PG Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories – Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors – William Shakespeare
Complete Novels – Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems – Anne Sexton
Complete Stories – Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
Cousin Bette – Honore de Balzac
Crime & Punishment – Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal & the White – Michael Faber
The Crucible – Arthur Miller
Cujo – Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime – Mark Haddon
D
Daughter of Fortune – Isabel Allende
David and Lisa – Dr. Theodore Issac Rubin
David Coperfield – Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
Deal Souls – Nikolai Gogol (Season 3, episode 3)
Demons – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman – Arthur Miller
Deenie – Judy Blume
The Devil in the White City – Erik Larson
The Dirt – Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mark, & Nikki Sixx
The Divine Comedy – Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood – Rebecca Wells
Don Quijote – Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy – Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
E
Complete Tales & Poems – Edgar Allan Poe
Eleanor Roosevelt – Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test – Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea – Mark Dunn
Eloise – Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange – Roger Reger
Emma – Jane Austen
Empire Falls – Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown – Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome – Edith Wharton
Ethics – Spinoza
Eva Luna – Isabel Allende
Everything is Illuminated – Jonathon Safran Foer
Extravagance – Gary Kist
F
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 911 – Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire – Donald Kagan
Fat Land:How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World – Greg Critser
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring – J R R Tolkien
Fiddler on the Roof – Joseph Stein
The Five People You Meet in Heaven – Mitch Albom
Finnegan’s Wake – James Joyce
Fletch – Gregory McDonald
Flowers of Algernon – Daniel Keyes
The Fortress of Solitude – Jonathon Lethem
The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey – JD Salinger
Freaky Friday – Mary Rodgers
G
Galapagos – Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble – Judith Baker
George W. Bushism – Jacob Weisberg
Gidget – Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen
The Ghostic Gospels – Elaine Pagels
The Godfather – Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks & the Three Bears – Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind – Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier – Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate – Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
The Group – Mary McCarthy
H
Hamlet – Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – JK Rowling
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
Helter Skelter – Vincent Bugliosi
Henry IV, Part 1 – Shakespeare
Henry IV, Part 2 – Shakespeare
Henry V – Shakespeare
High Fidelity – Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire – Edward Gibbons
Holidays on Ice – David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians – Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog – Andre Dubus III
The House of the Spirits – Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater – Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas – Dr. Seuss
How the Light Gets In – MJ Hyland
Howl – Alan Ginsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame – Victor Hugo
I
The Illiad – Homer
I’m With the Band – Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood – Truman Capote
Inferno – Dante
Inherit the Wind – Jerome Lawrence & Robert E Lee
Iron Weed – William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village – Hilary Clinton
J
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
The Joy Luck Club – Amy Tan
Julius Caesar – Shakespeare
The Jungle – Upton Sinclair
Just a Couple of Days – Tony Vigorito
K
The Kitchen Boy – Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential – Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
L
Lady Chatterley’s Lover – DH Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 – Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass – Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance – Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero – Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet – Rainer Maria Rilke
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them – Al Franken
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
Little Dorrit – Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith – Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl – Hans Christian Anderson
Little Woman – Louisa May Alcott
Living History – Hillary Clinton
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
The Lottery & Other Stories – Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
The Love Story – Eric Segal
M
Macbeth – Shakespeare
Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
The Manticore – Robertson Davies (Season 3, episode 3)
Marathon Man – William Goldman
The Master and Margarita – Mikhail Bulgakov
Memoirs of Dutiful Daughter – Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General WT Sherman – William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo – Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy – HR Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsor – Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis – Franz Kafka
Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker – William Gibson
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection – Jim Irvin
Moliere – Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the US – Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust – Celeste Albaret
A Month of Sundays – Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast – Ernest Hemingway
Mrs. Dalloway – Virginia Woolf
Mutiny on the Bounty – Charles Nordhoff & James Norman Hall
My Lai 4 – Seymour M Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor – HR Mencken
My Life in Orange – Tim Guest
My Sister’s Keeper – Jodi Picoult
N
The Naked and the Dead – Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco
The Namesake – Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries – Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System – Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work – David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed – Barbara Ehrenreich
Night – Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey – Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory & Criticism – William E Cain
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man – Charles Bukowski
O
Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
Old School – Tobias Wolff
Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
On the Road – Jack Keruac
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch – Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life – Amy Tan
Oracle Night – Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood
Othello – Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend – Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War – Donald Kagan
Out of Africa – Isac Dineson
The Outsiders – S. E. Hinton
P
A Passage to India – E.M. Forster
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition – Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower – Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place – Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
Pigs at the Trough – Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio – Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me – Legs McNeil & Gilliam McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree – Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty – Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
Property – Valerie Martin
Pushkin – TJ Binyon
Pygmalion – George Bernard Shaw
Q
Quattrocento – James McKean
A Quiet Storm – Rachel Howzell Hall
R
Rapunzel – Grimm Brothers
The Razor’s Edge – W Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran – Azar Nafisi
Rebecca – Daphne de Maurier
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm – Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent – Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst – Virginia Holman
The Return of the King – JRR Tolkien
R is for Ricochet – Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth – Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order – Henry Robert
Roman Fever – Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet – Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own – Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View – EM Forster
Rosemary’s Baby – Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe
S
Sacred Time – Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary – William Faulkner
Savage Beauty – Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller – Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz – Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter – Nathanial Hawthorne
Seabiscuit – Laura Hillenbrand
The Second Sex – Simone de Beauvior
The Secret Life of Bees – Sue Monk Kidd
Secrets of the Flesh – Judith Thurman
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell (1913-1965)
Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
A Separate Place – John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus – Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafron
Shane – Jack Shaefer
The Shining – Stephen King
Siddartha – Hermann Hesse
S is for Silence – Sue Grafton
Slaughter-House 5 – Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island – Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilamanjaro – Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Red Rose – Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy – Barrington Moore
The Song of Names – Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth – Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader – Lisa Tucker
Songbook – Nick Hornby
The Sonnets – Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese – Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice – William Styron
The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner
Speak, Memory – Vladimir Nabakov
Stiff, The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers – Mary Roach
The Story of my Life – Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desire – Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little – EB White
Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way – Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants – Anne Collett
Sybil – Flora Rheta Schreiber
T
A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Tender is the Night – F Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment – Larry McMurty
Time and Again – Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffeneggar
To Have and to Have Not – Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The Tragedy of Richard III – Shakespeare
Travel and Motoring through Europe – Myra Waldo
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith
The Trial – Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters – Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty – Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom
U
Ulysses – James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (1950-1962)
Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless – Carol Shields
V
Valley of the Dolls – Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper – Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Velvet Underground – Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides – Jeffrey Eugenides
W
Waiting for Godot – Samuel Beckett
Walden – Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi – Felix Salten
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute – Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane – Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine – Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Edward Albee
Wicked – Gregory Maguire
The Wizard of Oz – Frank L Baum
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Y
The Yearling – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion
OTHER RESOURCES:
19th Century Novels Masterpost
20th Century Novels Masterpost
21st Century Novels Masterpost
Rory Gilmore’s Reading List
Series Masterpost
Acceptance
Sometimes your best friend is bad for you. Sometimes they are your only friend because they convinced you that you don’t need anyone else. Sometimes when you end a friendship, you’re completely alone. Sometimes when you look back one of the greatest things in your life, you realize it’s also the worst. And that’s okay. Accept the past for what it is and learn to move on. There are better days ahead with better people.
I GOT A PLANT I NAMED HIM CHARLIE HE IS AN IVY PLANT AND I HOPE HES VIBING
Please be careful when arguing/fighting with your mentally ill friends! They will interpret your words differently than what you mean. The silence that follows the argument or fight is deafening to them. The smallest change in behavior can lead them to believe you hate them.
Actually, be careful when arguing/fighting with anyone. You dont think as clearly when you’re heated, don’t do or say things you could possibly regret.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I don’t believe in God but boy did he take care making Harry Styles.
Wait so like.... therapy........... do I do that shit or?? Like??? Suffer, I guess?????
Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. That’s it. That’s the post.
“I wish I could be as subtle and beautiful. All I know how to do is scream.”
Kinda fucked up to talk badly about your friends in a different language while they’re in the same group chat. And send messages in the same language at the same time so we know y’all are on FaceTime and already talking about us.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The string of consciousness and joke that led to me losing friends ☺️✌️
(*some babbling about how beautiful Anthony Ramos and Christopher Jackson’s voices are*)
“And the fact that Lin-Manuel Miranda cut Congratulations and First Burn BUT KEPT HURRICANE?????
Unacceptable
Electric chair.
SIN.
Hamilton already talks too much. And both Congratulations and First Burn are amazing songs that roast the shit out of Hamilton. (*explains to other person that Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote and starred in Hamilton*)
AND HE KEPT A N O T H E R HAMILTON SELF-THROWN PITY PARTY
Lin-Manuel Miranda is Jane Austen And Hamilton is Dorian Gray. “
I had a teacher in high school that told me to write down as many of my thoughts as I could, and then I could refer to them if I ever ran out of things to say. I told him, “that’s weird though. People won’t want to talk to me if I do that.”
He said “Then they weren’t worth talking to in the first place.”
Flash forward to this year, two years later, I let my walls down. I was comfortable around someone and they genuinely thought I was cool, but they said they wanted me to be less guarded. “Just say what you think, I’ll be happy to listen.”
I annoyed them within 20 minutes. All I did was say a string of consciousness that led to a joke I thought was hilarious, but knew other people wouldn’t understand.
“You’re being rude and annoying. Stop changing the subject and cutting me off. I don’t care about [insert topic].”
So I made this blog. I will put my random comments and strings of consciousness here. Because I want to tell someone and nobody cares to hear it.
“Hello. I hope somebody is listening....”