A Mess

“shit, you hear that?” in reference to the wraith on habitat seven, and ryder replies,

 Let’s say you’ve got a city where there’s tame white doves everywhere. They’re not pests, they’re regarded as sacred, holy protectors of the city, and the whole city cares for them and feeds them like they’re pets. They’re so tame because it’s a social taboo to hurt or scare one. Nice pretty doves :)

 Then someone points out that even if they’re not seen as pests, doesn’t having a completely unchecked feral pigeon population - that not only isn’t being culled, but actively fed and cared for - mean that there would be bird shit absolutely all over the place?

 A part of you wants to say no, because these are your nice, pretty doves. To explain that there’s a reason why they’re not shitting all over the place, maybe they’re super-intelligent and specifically bred and trained to not shit all over the place. The logistics of how, exactly, could anyone breed and train a flock of feral birds go unaddressed.

 An even worse solution would be to not have those birds, editing them out of the world. No, they spark joy, you can’t just toss them out!

 Now, consider: Yes, yes they would, but the city also has an extensive public sanitation service that’s occupied 90% of the time by cleaning bird shit off of everything. One of the most common last names in the area actually translates to “one who scrapes off dove shit”, and it’s a highly respected occupation. And thanks to the sheer necessity of constantly regularly cleaning everything, the city enjoys a much higher standard of cleanliness, and less public health issues caused by poor public sanitation.

Once someone makes you aware of an issue, take steps to try and make it better in the moment but also long-term. Putting the emotional labour on your partner to tell you to do things kinda sucks. For example, here's my list of things I try to do every day to help avoid that too much with my flatmate.

Before I go to bed:

- I straighten couch cushions because my flatmate likes this and it's not that hard

- I check the apartment for miscilaneous glasses/bowls and wash them

- I put any clutter on the main table away

Before I go to work:

- I check the bins and if something needs taking out, I take it out

- I check all the doors etc are locked and I have my keys

Unlike neurotypicals we can't trust that we will notice when something needs doing because trash-blindness is totally a thing (another post for another day). It is still on us, not our partners, to find ways around this though. Building checking-for-specific-trash/clutter into your routine can really help. You can set alarms if you need to. Also occasionally ask if there is any tasks you could be doing that would make living together better.