peach

do any girls wanna hold my gay hand

theres this chinese girl in my class who isnt very fluent in english and she asked me if i have a boyfriend and i was like “i dont. i dont like. boys” and she nodded very wisely and went “ah. cooties”

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer

Fork

Oh yeah I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly