Shit the Skyrim Guards Say - Ask Meme
"You have committed crimes against [place] and her people, what say you in your defense?"
"Then pay with your blood."
"Done. Now move along, before you get me in trouble."
"Wait... I know you."
"I need to ask you to stop. That... shouting... is making people nervous."
“Hold it there. Before I let you into [place], you need to pay the visitor’s tax.”
“Hold it there! Keep your distance.”
“How should I know? I don't work for them.”
"We'll handle things from here. Move along."
“You need something?”
“Well, spit it out. What's the matter?"
"Bah! Stop wasting my time!"
“How dare that little fool! And right under my nose!"
“By the gods, [he’ll/she’ll/they’ll] not get away with this."
“Don't worry, I'll take care of it."
“I’m on top of that little matter we discussed."
“Don't worry, [he’ll/she’ll/they’ll] rot in a cell and pay for what [he’s/she’s/they’ve] done."
"You don't want to go up to that [place], [name]. It's a terrible sight.”
“So many knife wounds..."
“Something to tell the grandkids, eh?"
“Your funeral. Someone else is gonna have to help you get [him/her/them] back in there again."
"Did you see a dog out there?"
“You look like a crazy [man/woman/person] to me.”
“You just keep quiet and stay where you are.”
"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee..."
“Let me guess - someone stole your sweetroll..."
"Gotta keep my eyes open. Damn dragons could swoop down at any time."
"My cousin is out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty."
"Disrespect the law, and you disrespect me."
"Watch the skies, traveler."
"No lollygaggin'."
"I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead..."
"Got to thinking, maybe I'm the Dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet."
"I mostly deal with petty thievery and drunken brawls.”
“Been too long since we've had a good bandit raid."
"Fancy yourself an alchemist, hmm? Never could get the hang of that."
"Staying safe, I hope?"
"Fear not. Come dragon or giant, we'll be ready."
"They say if a vampire so much as scratches you, you'll turn into one. That better not be true."
“Never heard of vampires doing anything like that before."
“Stay out of trouble, [Name].”
"By the gods! It... it can't be!"
"Go cast your fancy magic some place else."
"Woah, woah, woah! Watch the magic!"
"You come up to me, fists raised? You looking for a beating?"
“You look tired, friend.”
"Guard might get nervous, a [man/woman/person] approaches with his weapon drawn..."
"Gonna get cold tonight. Might want to at least cover your delicates."
"Bit late to be wandering around, isn't it?"
"Hey, you mix potions, right? Can you brew me an ale?"
"So you can cast a few spells. Am I supposed to be impressed?"
"Go fiddling with any locks around here, we're going to have a real problem."
"I find your hand in my pocket, I'm going to cut it off."
"Don't think you can barter with me like I'm one of those damned shopkeepers."
"Heard about you and your honeyed words..."
"I know your kind, always sneaking about."
"The gods gave you two hands, and you use them both for your weapon. I can respect that."
"Is that... fur? Coming out of your ears?"
“Imagine, blowing up an entire town.”
 "Now, I know who you are. And... and I know your business... Just, please... These are good folk we got here. Mostly..."
“These are dark times, my friend. Dark times, indeed..."
“You have saved this land... and our very souls."
"Who did you have to kill to get that blade?"
