ᵇʳʳʳʳʳʳᵃᵃʰ

Not that you minded it. Though you had signed up for the project sound of mind, it was still a daunting thing, coming to accept that you weren’t ever going to return to Earth. That you were going to die in the cold emptiness of space, millions of miles from everything you knew. Dr. Ryland Grace, your fellow astronaut, reluctant as he was, was a comfort to you in way you never thought possible. He’d been a scientist, buried in the work to get you to space, not to be there with you. It was…easier to ignore him, to ignore everyone, and not leave with tearful goodbyes. 

It was why, once you woke up from your induced coma, with a near unfamiliar pair of frantic eyes and overgrown beard dangling in your face, you’d punched him. Accidentally, of course, and more like a swing of your whole arm rather than a skillful curled knuckles, but it was still a hit nonetheless. You’d apologized around garbled breath, still slightly numb, and he, dramatic and loose limbed, tried his best to reassure you.

Ever since, you’d developed a sort of rapport with goofy scientist.

The mission was still the same, even after you realized he had no memory of how he joined the team, and Rocky was a pleasant, if not worldaltering, addition. With your piloting skills, Rocky’s mind, and Dr.Grace’s abilities, there was a hope deep in your chest that you hadn’t realized was missing when you left Earth. 

Which is why the silence was concerning. Dr.Grace was supposed to be setting up the lab for the new specimen from Tau Ceti E, and Rocky still had chain to finish. You were supposed to be calibrating the ship to ensure that you wouldn’t blow to pieces entering the atmosphere. Supposed to be, being key. But once you noticed the silence, the lack of the xenonoite clinking and the whirling of lab equipment, it was all you could focus on.

“Mary?” you called, flipping a few buttons. The ship hummed, waiting for your question. “Where are Dr.Grace and Rocky?”

“Dr.Grace is currently--”

“Nothing! I’m nowhere. Thank you, Mary,” Dr.Grace hurried up the ladder into the cockpit, glasses pushed up into his hair. It made the golden strands stick up like a paper crown. You bit back a laugh. When you met eyes, he broke out into a goofy smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” You said, flipping another button. The ship leveled as you returned controls to Mary. “I was just wondering what you were up to.”

“Up to?” Dr.Grace’s laugh was loud. Too loud. “What do you mean? I’ve been in the lab. Doing what I’m supposed to.”

You eyed him.

“Why don’t I believe that?”

“What could be more important than prepping the lab?” The words were honest, but the tone was wrong. He was hiding something, you just knew it. But what? What could be more important than saving literally all the planets in the galaxy?

“Dr.Grace--”

“Ryland.”

“Dr.Grace, I have a feeling you’re lying.”

“It’s Ryland, and I have a feeling you’re being paranoid.” You crossed your arms. He smiled. You couldn’t help your own as it spread across your lips.

“I’m serious.” When you went to stand, Dr.Grace scrambled up the last few steps, forcing you back into your seat. “Woah!”

“Sorry! I mean, you should stay here!” Again, too loud.

Below your feet, you could hear the telltale signs of Rocky’s feet against the xenonite glass, then quiet. You opened your mouth to speak, but Rocky was making noise again. Thunk, thunk, THUNK. His ball, bashing against the metal of the ship. You eyed Dr.Grace, and he winced.

“I--uh,” he stammered, still holding you against the chair. “I didn’t realize his ball was so loud.”

“Uh, huh.” You relaxed, letting Dr.Grace’s hands keep your arms pressed to the armrests. 

Before boarding the Hail Mary, you never would have allowed him to be so close. Now, you’d travelled light years together, weeks cohabitating, found alien life, and were about to risk your lives trying to enter an atmosphere on a ship designed for a suicide mission. Being so close felt…natural. Easy, even. Even Dr.Grace seemed to agree, practically leaning into you as he closed his eyes, muttering under his breath about unstealthy aliens.

“Dr.Grace--”

“Ryland.” That got him to look at you, noses practically brushing. Dr.Grace’s eyes widened as he finally realized how close he had gotten, and jumped back, nearly falling into the ship’s navigation panel. You grabbed him just before his butt could accidently recalculate for landing. “Oh, jeez. Thanks. I’m not…doing a very good job at this.”

“Doing a very good job at what? Acting normal? Because you’re being weird right now.”

“Me? Being weird?” His laugh was mechanical. You huffed, and gave him a look. He had the decency to look sheepish. “Okay, fine. But between me and Rocky, I was definitely the better choice right? He would have just spilled the beans immediately.”

“Spilled the beans?”

“You know he can’t say no to you.” You didn’t know where Dr.Grace had gotten that idea from, you’d seen how quickly and close their bond had formed, but if Rocky’s soft spot for you was as big as the one you had for him, whatever secret they were hiding wasn’t going to stay a secret for long. 

A few more thunk!s sounded from below, and then Mary announced, “Rocky is requesting your presence.”

“Perfect timing! Thank you, Mary.”

“You’re welcome, Dr.Grace.”

“Come on, this way.” His smile was blinding.

Dr.Grace grabbed your hand and led you back to the lab. You tried to walk towards the equipment, determined he was going to show you his and Rocky’s progress in technical terms you didn’t even have the slightest clue of, he tugged you forwards, towards the screen room. It was a place you had fond memories of. You and Dr.Grace had spent many of the days between waking up and meeting Rocky in there, grasping at the familiar pictures of Earth to make waking up in space somewhat bearable. Then, it became ritual for you and Dr.Grace to bring Rocky into the room to show him too. It made your heart ache, but Dr.Grace was always there, gripping your hand tightly, reminding you that home wasn’t as far away as you believed.

“[Y/N] come!” Rocky cried just as you entered. “Is day of birth! Celebrate birth!”

“What--?”

The dome’s screens were projecting a warm summer’s day, blue skies and clouds stretching into the ocean’s horizon. Dr.Grace’s blanket was spread across the narrow metal floor, an attempt at a feast spread out with the odd collection of food from Mary’s stores. Ramen and dehydrated fruits placed between cups hand scribbled with silly designs. Dr.Grace scurried by you, snatching some paper cones off the floor. With careful fingers, he taped one to the top of Rocky’s sphere, then placed the other on his head, elastic snapping against his chin painfully.

“Happy birthday!”

“Day of birth!” Dr.Grace and Rocky cried together. 

“What?” Your voice was breathless as you tried to take in the scene in front of you.

“Happy birthday,” Dr.Grace said, softer, handing you the paper cone. When you didn’t reach for it, his face went red.

“It’s my birthday?”

“Rocky Grace do math!” Rocky cried, sphere shaking with excitement. “Travel time from Earth. Give or take. Grace use information to calculate and now Grace Rocky do Earth celebration for [Y/N] in honor of birth!”

“You taught Rocky the word for birth?” you asked. It seemed to be the only thing that made it through your racing mind.

“Sort of.” Dr.Grace stepped forward, and when you didn’t back away, he took another step, until he was close enough to touch you. Quietly, he asked, “Is this okay?”

“You know my birthday?” He flushed.

“I read your file, back on Earth.” He was talking faster, speaking before the dread of recognizing that his memory was coming back could take over. “And the math might not be perfect. But, it should be. If you wanted to celebrate.”

“Grace say not all human like day of birth,” Rocky said. “But he also say birth big deal. Eridians celebrate only when egg hatch, but Grace say human tradition is party for every year human survive.”

“Okay, well I didn’t put it like that,” he said, embarrassed. “But, we don’t have to do anything. In fact, we can just forget all of this happened! Yeah, we can--”

“Dr.Grace.” He froze as you put a hand on his arm. Gently, you pulled the hat out of his hands, placing it on his head. Rocky let out a happy chirp. “Rocky. Thank you. This is…amazing.”

“Of course.” His smile was softer, quieter. He was pulling you into a hug and pulling away before you could reciprocate, turning back to Rocky. It didn’t hide the redness of his ears. “Let’s get this party started!”

It was the strangest party you’d ever had. Dr.Grace and Rocky hammered you with questions about your previous birthdays, your favorite ways to celebrate, favorite foods, everything. Although you may not have chosen a beach as your birthday setting, no doubt Dr.Grace’s idea, the idea of having one last birthday under the sunny sky filled you with a sort of sad happiness. It made you do silly things, like show Rocky party games. The blanket was covered in water by the end of your makeshift beer pong game. You danced. You sang. You ate more food than you probably should have considering you needed to think about rationing, but Dr.Grace was there the moment the thought entered your mind, pressing another bland cracker into your hand while sharing another embarrassing birthday story.

By the time you were practically bursting with food and half asleep, your favorite movie playing on the screens, the thought of your impending death was the farthest thing from your mind.

Your head rested comfortably against Dr.Grace’s shoulder, Rocky pressed against your other side. You would have fallen asleep, if Dr.Grace hadn’t whispered against your temple.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Aren’t my wishes supposed to come true today?” you teased.

“Humor me.” His mouth moved against your forehead once, then twice, like he was practicing before he dared to say anything aloud. Finally, he whispered, “Ryland.”

“Ryland?” He hummed. It tickled.

“No more Dr.Grace. I think we’re closer than formalities. Friends. Right?” You sat up. His ears were bright red, and his eyes kept flickering to the side, like he couldn’t quiet hold your gaze. A wave of fondness crashed over you.

“Of course we are.” You placed you hand over his, giving it a squeeze. “Ryland. Thank you.”

“[Y/N] happy, question?” Rocky asked. Your favorite movie played on. Ryland scooted closer, pulling you into his side. Rocky trilled, then readjusted, practically in your lap. His crab hand pressed against his sphere.

“Yeah, Rocky.” You placed your hand over his, eyes watering. Ryland’s soft laugh was everything. “I’m happy.”

______________________________________________________________

He barely managed to change into his pajamas, the desire to be as near to you as possible practically consuming him the whole way home. Robin teased him more than usual at the giddiness that made his fingers tap against the steering wheel but he couldn’t help it! Why should he be anything less than stoked that he got to see you, properly, for the first time all day? 

He nearly melted when he stepped out of the autumn chill and into your now shared apartment to find you already smiling in his direction, domestic and warm and so happy to see him. He practically threw himself into the closet, risking injury, just to have this, have you in his arms smelling like home. 

“It’s Friday, right? I hope it’s okay that I made something for you, but I had some time after work and I just hate the thought that you’re always ordering out.” The vibration of his hum into your shoulder sent tingles down your spine. Then, he paused, and raised his head.

“Friday?” You eyed him in confusion. “Did we have a date planned tonight?”

“What? No.” You paused. “Well, not that I know of.”

“Then, what…”

“Besides, it’s too late now to get ready even if we did.” You lightly tapped the spoon against the lip of the pot, satisfied it was finally ready. Steve took half a step back in order for you to spin around in his arms. Despite the confusion wrinkling his brows, he didn’t hesitate to swoop in for a kiss once you were face to face. “Speaking of getting late, shouldn’t she be here by now?”

“It’s not even eight yet.” Steve pressed another kiss to your lips, tugging your hips closer until you were flush together. Opened his mouth to say something but instantly lost his train of thought as you locked eyes, instantly mesmorized. A kiss, then another. “Your lips are distracting me.”

“I’m not even doing anything,” you laughed, but still leaned in for another kiss. “Robin.”

“Robin?” He pulled back. “Why are you saying her name while kissing me?”

“Jealous?” You patted his chest tauntingly, finally pulling away. Steve hardly let you go without a fight, settling on trailing behind you like a lost puppy as you fetched some bowls and spoons for the soup, fingers hooked into the edge of your shirt.  He watched with curiosity as you placed three on the counter. “She’s usually more punctual than this. If you guys wait any longer you won’t have time to finish the movie before it gets too late.”

All at once, your words clicked something in his sleepy brain. 

Robin, his best friend Robin, one of his favorite people in the whole world, the person he probably spent more time with than anything, including his serious partner. Robin, the person who he usually spent Friday nights with.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with you. He often thought it was a miracle at all he managed to meet you and not completely make a fool of himself. Your initial meeting, where he was dressed in a silly sailors outfit and about five different milkshakes, was not ideal, and yet, he still managed to stutter through a conversation and got your number. One date turned to two, to three, until you were meeting up pretty regularly, sipping shared sodas or dressing up for a night out. 

Well, regularly barring Fridays, which were reserved for Robin’s introduction to popular media.

Although Dustin’s constantly mockery towards his lack of pop culture knowledge grated on his nerves, he wasn’t exactly wrong about Steve’s complete ignorance: in high school, movies were really just a cool way to score a date, and besides, he hardly spent time actually watching it when he could instead be doing other things while it played. Robin, having learned first hand how little he knew, dubbed Fridays to be their movie night, where she would ‘force’ him to watch something to broaden his horizons. Sometimes they were good, like E.T., or made him cry, like The Outsiders, or just straight up garbage (he didn’t trust her for a whole month after making him watch Basket Case). Either way, Steve, sometimes begrudgingly, always had a good time. Because he was with Robin. His best friend.

His best friend that, for the first time in who knows how long, was not planning on coming over on a Friday.

It was a big step to move in with your significant other. Even though she was sometimes a little airheaded, Robin knew just as well as he did that the milestone required time to adjust. He spent their last Friday Movie Night freaking out over the score of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, somehow managing to work himself up to a near panic attack about the possibility of you coming to hate him because he might brush his teeth in an annoying way. Robin, ever the helpful friend, called him a loser and threw popcorn at him in lieu of reassurance, and offered to skip their next get together so you could spend time together, maybe even have your own movie night. He hated to admit she was right but a week in and neither of you had gotten annoyed at each other's brushing habits (yet), and nothing suggested you were off put by him or his habits. Even your heckles at leaving his shoes out were undercut with a sweetness that made him blush. It was the easiest thing to merge your routines, as if you’d always shared the same space and schedule. 

Which, it seemed, meant you had absolutely no qualms with making a delicious pot of soup with the expectation Steve was going to spend the night with Robin. Well, not spend the night, not like that. Surely you didn’t think that…right?

“It’s Friday,” he said dumbly after a minute. You hardly blinked at his long pause, helping yourself to the first couple ladles of soup and a sleeve of crackers. “I hang out with Robin on Fridays.”

“Why do you sound so hesitant?” you teased, bumping him lightly with your hip as you passed. His hands reacted faster than his lagging brain could comprehend, reaching out to right your hands before you could burn yourself, steaming soup sloshing with your action. 

“It’s our first Friday together.” He didn’t realize his voice had cracked until your smile dropped.

“Oh.” He couldn’t stop himself from mirroring you, both of your eyebrows furrowing, eyes staring, shock to concern in an instant. His hand remained atop yours, following as you set your bowl onto the countertop. “Oh, Steve.”

“Why do you look so sad?”

“I didn’t realize…” You took a step towards him. He easily matched, nearly nose to nose as he continued to look at you with those big brown eyes, trailing over every feature. He was tempted to poke against the corner of your mouth to ease some of the sadness that pushed it down. “I just assumed…I didn’t…”

“Woah, hey.” His hands latched tighter around yours, desperately intertwining your fingers like he couldn’t imagine another second without doing so. Voice soft, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t want to spend time with Robin?”

“I spend time with Robin everyday. I literally just saw her not even an hour ago.”

“But you always spend Fridays with Robin.”

“You’re right. I do. Which means I get to skip some every once in a while to spend time with my favorite person.” You smiled softly at that, but there was something in the tightness of your lip that didn’t ease his worry. Quickly, he barreled on, “She really doesn’t mind, you know. She knows you’re important to me. Plus, she likes you. A lot. She’s more than okay with me skipping out to be with you.”

“She does?” you asked, hesitantly.

It wasn’t that you hadn’t spent any time with Robin; with how close the two of them were, it was nearly impossible to avoid her, especially since you and Steve carpooled with her most days to and from work. You had told him that you liked her because she was fun, in a way that made it seem like she didn’t care about what other people thought of her, and her teasing Steve always made you laugh. But, the more he thought about it, the more he realized you and Robin didn’t ever really spend any time together, just the two of you. And it may be the reason why you looked so uneasy.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Steve concluded, squeezing your hands. You looked down, avoiding his eyes, and didn’t deny him. “Is it something she said? Is it something I  said? Are you…” Jealous? The word felt poisonous to say outloud.

“No! No, oh gosh, no. Robin is great. You’re great. I promise.” You squeezed his hands in return. His shoulders lost a little of their tension. “I just…”

Steve’s mind began to spin the longer you hesitated. He wanted you to trust him, to know that everything he told you was the truth, and that your safety was his number one priority. But, there were some things he had to keep secret, for your own sake. So, he overcompensated in other aspects of his life.

It wasn’t even a month into dating you before he was already burying you deep into every aspect of his life. Robin was obviously the first to know you, chatting your ear off whenever you’d stop by Scoops Ahoy, but Dustin was the first of the kids to officially meet you. Although your relationship was rocky at the start, it was now at the point that Dustin had invited himself over for dinner two nights in the past week, talking your ear off about the newest club he joined at school. Mike seemed to trust you with some of the issues he’d been having with El, talking quietly until he cut himself off with a glare when Steve walked too close. Until recently Max was attached to your side whenever the gang was together. And he didn’t have a clue what you and Lucas talked about, but the boy was always in good spirits when you parted ways. 

There was something that settled in his heart whenever he saw you with them, seeing you get along with the people he valued most in his life. A rightness he didn’t know could exist. To see you tease Dustin, to watch you cheer Lucas on at his games, to see you care for the kids’ problems, it made his heart soar. He thought that sweet smile you gave them was reassurance enough you were having a good time. He thought your laugh with Robin was genuine. But, if all of those interactions made you self conscious, if his relationship with Robin made you uncomfortable…

He didn’t know what he’d do.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” Your voice was small, meek, as if you were admitting something you should be ashamed of. The air left his lungs in an audible whoosh. 

“What?!” Too loud! He cleared his throat, trying again. “What? I could never hate you.”

“You would, if you think I’m keeping you away from your friends.” Before he could respond, you squeezed his hand once more, finally bringing your head up to look at him. “I love you, and I want you to be happy. It’s…scary, this step we’ve taken.” Your teeth clicked as your face morphed into surprise, as if you just realized what you said. “Not that I regret it! Never!”

He couldn’t help the swell of affection that brought his lips to yours. His heart pounded in his chest as you easily reciprocated.

“I love you too.”

“And because I love you, I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. You make me happy.”

“You make me happy.” Your smile was more like a grimace, awkward. “And Robin makes you happy too.”

It felt like a rock in your stomach.

“Robin? Robin and I aren’t--” His mouth moved but no words came out. 

What could he say? 

His first instinct was to blurt the impossibility of anything happening between them, but you and Robin weren’t close enough for her to come out to you just yet (not that Steve was trying to get her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with). He hadn’t even asked her if it was okay if you knew despite the fact that he knew you wouldn’t think ill of her either way. He knew their closeness and relationship was unusual to an outsider, and there had been a few awkward instances where he’d introduce you to people in their lives and they would sheepishly have to admit they thought he and Robin were the ones in a relationship. 

His exhausted mind was working overtime.

With nothing else to say, he settled on, “Robin and I aren’t anything.”

“I don’t think she’d be too happy to hear you say that.” Despite the joke, there was still an underlying tension between you. You squeezed his hands. “You and Robin share something unique. I don’t know exactly what it is. It’s like…it’s like you guys went through something traumatic together. Which, the amount of idiots you had to deal with at Scoops and now at Family Video is probably enough for you to trauma bond with your coworker, but I know it’s something more than that. I know it’s something to do with what happened at the mall.” You barrelled on before Steve could speak. “And I know you don’t want to talk about it, so I won’t ask. But, whatever it was, made you inseparable, more than you already would have been. You’re…soulmates.”

“Woah, okay, time out.” Steve shook his head. “Soulmates? Me and Robin? I love you. And yes, I love Robin, but definitely not in the way I love you.” He was surging forward before you could respond, breathing in the truth of his words between your lips as he kissed you. You hardly resisted, pulling him even closer to wrap your arms around him.

“I love you too,” you said quietly, lips still brushing against his.

“You have to know you’re it for me right? You’re a dream.” He was breathless as he spoke his truth into your soul. You kissed him again, stronger, affirming without speaking that you knew what he meant, that you felt the same way. 

“I think I did this all wrong.” Sighing, you pulled away, staring into his eyes. One of your hands found its way onto his cheek. His head tilted into your palm as he fought against the urge to pull you in for another kiss. “Soulmates can be platonic too, Steve. What you and Robin have? That’s special. I would never want to get in the way of that. The soup was supposed to be…a reassurance.”

“A reassurance?”

“Something to say…’I understand you’, if that makes sense. I understand you and I want to support you. Because I love you. And supporting you means letting you spend time away from me with your friends, especially now that we share a space together.” You sighed again, then laughed, nearly breathless. “I should have just come out and said it instead of hiding how I was feeling. I just…I think I panicked and thought you’d think I was overstepping and trying to insert myself into your friendships. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You should never be sorry when it comes to me.”

“Now that’s a silly thing to ask of me. You deserve to be apologized to if you were wronged. And I made you worry. So, I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m sorry, too, then. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you don’t make me happy. You make me so, so happy. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Robin was called and was on your couch less than an hour later, waving a copy of Disney’s Robin Hood with a cheeky smile, soup stain already dark and clear on her shirt. She practically pulled you down beside her, excitedly telling you about her favorite scene while shoving the VHS towards Steve, hardly sparing him a glance in order to keep your undivided attention. He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, lips barely puckering as his smile stretched wide, and obliged easily. 

Robin pretended to gag. You laughed. And he felt like the luckiest guy in the world.