A Mistake

They should invent a form of existence that isn't just an endless loop of waking up and feeling misunderstood and alone

i just realised i dont really want to die. i want to escape this cruel life of mine.

And no they don’t think of you

the tension between me + quietly disappearing

honestly? I think one of the scariest things about bipolar disorder is the periods of stability because you know the pain will always come back. you spend so long chasing it and then you have it and you can't bear to let it go. you spend your time stable dreading the inevitable depressive or manic episode that will follow it. it feels like every day that you aren't living to its fullest you're wasting because your time with stability is so short.

feeling detached from everything in a way that scares me

me: *a hopeless romantic without a single ounce of romance in her life*

can’t be abandoned if i don’t get attached

pathetic fags like me don’t deserve to be alive

i'm not growing on you like moss i'm an infection and it's septic

i need to killl myself but like nonchalantly