TW: gay

I feel like this could be useful in my future

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

Yesterday I had a dreamt Tumblr started drawing Perry the Platypus humanized and he became a Tumblr-sexyman even tho he doesn't have a Canon human design yet. Then Disney made it canon and married him with Doofenshmirtz on a theatrical movie. Everyone cried and called it the ship of all time, blueprints, etc etc. And even casual people started cosplaying them. And making weddings themed after them. A floating sans head was there for some reason, whispered "February 1" and I woke up in a cold sweat

hey thats my birthday! (Feb 1)

I was rollerblading and finally learned the secrets to wheeled travel. When I woke up, I put on my rollerblades and promptly busted my ass.

gravity said nope

I microwaved cereal to make it more soggy.

As someone who unironically puts milk before cereal SPECIFICALLY to make cereal not as soggy, this post feels like my antithesis

[Admin's comment] I do that too! I put it in bit by bit so I can prevent all parts of it from getting soggy.

I showed this to my friend and she was more disgusted by the fact that Nico put milk before cereal

Turns out every planet with life has a version of mammals, and they supposed to be weak, small and dumb creatures. The fact that they are not only the dominant animal clade on Earth, but also the planet’s intelligent species baffles aliens.

The alien leader watches as the humans live their lives, working and living and dying, with surprise. "Has anyone sent them a message?" he asks the person to his left. "Not yet," they respond, shaking their head. "We are a bit worried of what they will do if they know their are other life forms." "they shouldn't even be like this. How are they like this?" the general glares at the screen as he watches the enslaved humans work, a place called North Korea by humans. Such a silly name. "Apparently." the worker started, reading off of their screen. "Apparently they killed off the dominant species when they were first put here. It was prototype D1-N05. Now they live in museums as boney structures, called dinosaurs."