Lost in the Road of Life

Confession: I only came back on Tumblr so I could write weird ramblings about SxF. I'm doing well!

ANYWAY, HERE ARE MY ATTEMPTS AT SHADOW LOID/TWILIGHT/WHATEVER HIS NAME ACTUALLY IS.

(For the sake of clarity, the real self will be called Loid.)

There were two ways I thought Shadow Loid could manifest:

Shadow Loid that appears to Loid/Yor/Bond is actually just a creation of the REAL Shadow Loid. The real Shadow is actually based on Advisor, his childhood self. The created form(s) based on the various identities Twilight took over the years doesn't damage the real one in any way because it's a false self and therefore not true to the real being. Or in simpler terms, illusions created from Shadow Loid's power. Meanwhile, Advisor hides away in the castle, remotely controlling the Twilight personas, too fearful and anxious to face them directly despite longing to be safe in someone's arms. I would say he's a bit of a similar case to Shadow Okumura where he doesn't transform himself per say.

Alternately, Shadow Loid is split into two different beings, one being Twilight, the other still being Advisor, together making up Shadow Loid. Advisor, in a similar case to Shadow Futaba being a manifestation of her repressed positive emotions, is a representation of the real being's desire to be himself, to remember him. Meanwhile, the Twilight side was born from [Redacted]'s desire to protect himself from the pain and loneliness of war, but the anxiety and fear has caused him to view everything as a threat and decide the Advisor side is a liability that also need to be eliminated. Advisor seeks out Loid, Yor, and Bond's help in this case to stop Twilight and help them rescue Anya, again because this part of him wants to stay with his family no matter what. This scenario has (Shadow) Twilight with a proper transformation state. This scenario overall is loosely inspired by Shadow Futaba.

Twilight/Loid/[Redacted]'s arcana I think best suits Moon, as what plagues him the most are things that card represents. In particular, illusion, fear, anxiety, inner confusion, and repressed emotion. Regardless of the two versions, the Shadow is struggling to process the real being's desire to be honest with his heart while being too fearful and anxious to be hurt to fully accept them either.

One of the other meanings of Moon (in reverse) is also release of fear, and in both scenarios, it is Shadow Loid learning to let go of the fear that created Twilight and the many identities that allows him to be honest with himself.

I do wish to have him transform though. In keeping with the illusion theme and the moon theme (I totally agree with he arcana thing!) he might be a mirror boss, design-wise. With many masks strapped to his body. Idk imagine it being the usual weird looking creatures in P4? I can't describe it well (which doesn't look good for the fic lol).

I got you.

Yor, Anya and Bond stuff, you say? I can at least start with rambling about potential arcanas for each.

Yor

High Priestess:

UPRIGHT: Intuition, sacred knowledge, divine feminine, the subconscious mind

REVERSED: Secrets, disconnected from intuition, withdrawal and silence

Explanation: The overall meaning of the card alluding to teachings of subconscious mind is a little looser to Yor compared to the others, but in some sense, Yor does show she can be surprisingly perceptive, but her own doubts can cloud her own judgment. It also alludes to how Yor's self doubts prevents her from having the ability to articulate how she really feels (ex. Chapter 35).

Empress:

UPRIGHT: Femininity, beauty, nature, nurturing, abundance

REVERSED: Creative block, dependence on others

Explanation: Besides the fact that Yor is a queen (*coughs*), the card itself does most directly relate to Yor being a v. giving and maternal figure. But it also does allude to in reverse being a dependence of others. In some sense, Yor's lack of confidence in herself makes her somewhat naive and dependent on how others view her. Also, the reversed Empress highlights self-care and self-love. For someone like Yor who gives and gives, she's neglected herself in the process throughout her life and even now worries about her not being "normal".

Strength:

UPRIGHT: Strength, courage, persuasion, influence, compassion

REVERSED: Inner strength, self-doubt, low energy, raw emotion

Explanation: Yor could alternately be Chariot, which has similar meanings to Strength, but I felt Strength suited her a little more. Strength calls upon strength and the human spirit to overcome obstacles by not force but rather influence and compassion. Yor is physically strong but she also maintains compassion that allows her to reason with Twilight concerning Anya. The reversed meanwhile has meanings of self-doubt. Again, Yor is strong physically, but she's also mentally vulnerable due to her lack of experiences.

Temperance:

UPRIGHT: Balance, moderation, patience, purpose

REVERSED: Imbalance, excess, self-healing, re-alignment

Explanation: The Temperance card upright is all about balance and blending different aspects together into something more valuable than the separate parts would be. Yor, being both a deadly assassin yet also a selfless and nurturing figure, uses them to both care for and protect her family. In reverse, it does also reflect how Yor has lived most of her life sacrificing things for the sake of Yuri's future, from her schooling and aspirations to any chance of having a peaceful life of her own. As a result, Yor never had the chance to be selfish or want things for herself. Yuri gave Yor a purpose for being an assassin, so much so that she ended up being lost once he was old enough to care for himself. Being a Forger gave Yor a new purpose for being an assassin and slowly, I think she's also learning to re-align her tendency to self-sacrifice with what she also wants.

Anya

Fool:

UPRIGHT: Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit

REVERSED: Holding back, recklessness, risk-taking

Explanation: Of course, this card is the beginning of the deck and the one that represents the Wild Cards of the series. But also, the Fool is the beginning of a journey, innocence, spontaneity, and a free spirit. Operation Strix begins because of Anya becoming Twilight's daughter and it's her that begins the fake Forgers slowly becoming a real family (and also kickstarting Twilight and Yor's development). Of course, even the reversed meanings reflect Anya is hiding her own secrets and this holding back has caused some troubles (such as being a 4 year-old trying to do 6 year old stuff). Anya is also a bit reckless in how she acts, which has...caused as much help as it has caused mishaps.

Magician:

UPRIGHT: Manifestation, resourcefulness, power, inspired action

REVERSED: Manipulation, poor planning, untapped talents

Explanation: As a card that relates to untapped potential, Anya herself shows she's far smarter and more resourceful than she appears. She tries her hardest to make Operation Strix a success for Twilight. However, because she's a kid, she isn't quite good on the planning side of things of how to get there and she struggles in school due to learning things when she hasn't even grasped the basics. Not to mention the difficulties in befriending Damian. Anya has the potential to be someone amazing, but she can't quite reach it due to not knowing how to get there, which isn't helped by her trying to hide her own secrets.

Bond

Wheel of Fortune:

UPRIGHT: Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point

REVERSED: Bad luck, resistance to change, breaking cycles

Explanation: Wheel of Fortune is all about Karma, both good and bad. It also is about luck in general. Bond had a bad hand dealt to him being made into a lab subject where he was treated cruelly. Then he got sold on the black market and bought to be a bomb dog. But his luck came around to be adopted by the Forgers, although after helping Anya narrowly prevent Twilight's death. Bond is a kind and gentle dog despite having every reason to distrust people all for the sake of someone's selfishness. So ultimately, his willingness to trust and believe in others was rewarded after years and years of loneliness and abuse. But also, while it doesn't apply to him, the other meaning of resisting change and breaking of bad cycles reflects the world that resulted in his misfortune.

On the subject of Bond, I think this was something along the lines of what Bond meant that convinced his Shadow to awaken into his Persona:

Shadow Bond: (Why are you so willing to trust? Don't you know you've been hurt by humans? How many other dogs did you see die in those days? Why would these humans, especially Anya, be any different from them?) Bond: (I've been hurt by humans, yes. I know there are bad humans. But there also good humans. I don't want to hate all humans and I choose to not hate them. I waited for the day I would meet good humans. And my family are the best humans ever. Now, I want to protect my good humans from the bad humans! I will fight to do that! Now...let me find Anya!)

I have an idea of what Bond's Persona is, but I'll have to save it for a different post because this is already too long, whoops.

I will admit, the fic won't lean too much in exploring the arcana, because most of the Forgers won't care lol. Twilight may study them or so but he's more practical and may just look at them as a puzzle piece. But your post does help in the background story making.

Hmm, on a side note, I have an headcanon that the arcana changes in relation to the characters. For example, Narukami is the wildcard and has Chie as his Chariot, but what is Chie to Yukiko? Chie may be Yukiko's Chariot too or something wildly different. Idk if I make sense, and it may alter the Persona canon or so, but this logic may help in narrowing down which arcana and what Persona the Forgers have. Especially for Yor and Twilight; they're both adults with complex issues and Yor's backstory isn't fully fleshed out yet.

The kids though are a bit easier, and I agree with the assessments. Anya being the wildcard is so apt lol, even if she's not the main lead in the show. Bond... I will admit, I wrote his bit for comedy since I figured he'd get his Persona the easiest since he can see the future and thus knows what to do and also doesn't really have the high pride/denial to block his progress. But yeah, the dialogue you wrote is along those woofing lines!

I also gave him a Persona immediately so he can help TwiYor survive. Uh... feel free to suggest Personas for the Forgers! I think Twilight won't have one for the majority of the fic (because his angst is totally gonna take most of the fic), Yor will have hers halfway, and Anya is up in the air. May end up like Nanako? Not sure yet.

Confession: I only came back on Tumblr so I could write weird ramblings about SxF. I'm doing well!

ANYWAY, HERE ARE MY ATTEMPTS AT SHADOW LOID/TWILIGHT/WHATEVER HIS NAME ACTUALLY IS.

(For the sake of clarity, the real self will be called Loid.)

There were two ways I thought Shadow Loid could manifest:

Shadow Loid that appears to Loid/Yor/Bond is actually just a creation of the REAL Shadow Loid. The real Shadow is actually based on Advisor, his childhood self. The created form(s) based on the various identities Twilight took over the years doesn't damage the real one in any way because it's a false self and therefore not true to the real being. Or in simpler terms, illusions created from Shadow Loid's power. Meanwhile, Advisor hides away in the castle, remotely controlling the Twilight personas, too fearful and anxious to face them directly despite longing to be safe in someone's arms. I would say he's a bit of a similar case to Shadow Okumura where he doesn't transform himself per say.

Alternately, Shadow Loid is split into two different beings, one being Twilight, the other still being Advisor, together making up Shadow Loid. Advisor, in a similar case to Shadow Futaba being a manifestation of her repressed positive emotions, is a representation of the real being's desire to be himself, to remember him. Meanwhile, the Twilight side was born from [Redacted]'s desire to protect himself from the pain and loneliness of war, but the anxiety and fear has caused him to view everything as a threat and decide the Advisor side is a liability that also need to be eliminated. Advisor seeks out Loid, Yor, and Bond's help in this case to stop Twilight and help them rescue Anya, again because this part of him wants to stay with his family no matter what. This scenario has (Shadow) Twilight with a proper transformation state. This scenario overall is loosely inspired by Shadow Futaba.

Twilight/Loid/[Redacted]'s arcana I think best suits Moon, as what plagues him the most are things that card represents. In particular, illusion, fear, anxiety, inner confusion, and repressed emotion. Regardless of the two versions, the Shadow is struggling to process the real being's desire to be honest with his heart while being too fearful and anxious to be hurt to fully accept them either.

One of the other meanings of Moon (in reverse) is also release of fear, and in both scenarios, it is Shadow Loid learning to let go of the fear that created Twilight and the many identities that allows him to be honest with himself.

I do wish to have him transform though. In keeping with the illusion theme and the moon theme (I totally agree with he arcana thing!) he might be a mirror boss, design-wise. With many masks strapped to his body. Idk imagine it being the usual weird looking creatures in P4? I can't describe it well (which doesn't look good for the fic lol).

Darker than BLACK (Season 1) was a marvellous anime in the seinen genre, aired more than a decade ago. Sadly, it’s obscure nowadays, but it has devoted fans who still remember it fondly and lovingly, with strong headcanons and a distinct aversion to the failed Season 2.

Upon @thereal-tsuki-llama‘s latest update, I asked if she has explored the idea of a Discord server, in an effort to bring the fans together, both old and new. After all, chatting live about your interests does bring people animated in a way that blog posts can’t. She wasn’t sure, but fortunately, @bingbangbongos reached out to me, and thus the Darker than BLACK Discord was formed. (Well, @bingbangbongos created it and I just hang around and throw suggestions…)

It’s exciting to create a new place and meet old and new people, and possibly, revitalize the fandom. 

It’s also literally only us two in there.

Darker than BLACK (Season 1) was a marvellous anime in the seinen genre, aired more than a decade ago. Sadly, it’s obscure nowadays, but it has devoted fans who still remember it fondly and lovingly, with strong headcanons and a distinct aversion to the failed Season 2.

Upon @thereal-tsuki-llama‘s latest update, I asked if she has explored the idea of a Discord server, in an effort to bring the fans together, both old and new. After all, chatting live about your interests does bring people animated in a way that blog posts can’t. She wasn’t sure, but fortunately, @bingbangbongos reached out to me, and thus the Darker than BLACK Discord was formed. (Well, @bingbangbongos created it and I just hang around and throw suggestions…)

It’s exciting to create a new place and meet old and new people, and possibly, revitalize the fandom. 

It’s also literally only us two in there.

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

Bit wonky, but I painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan.

Bit shitty, but I painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/color_on_a_page who painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted someone’s mom who painted a swan

Oh well, here’s yet another layer

Another branch, starting from the girl with the white background:

Took an hour or so but I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

I didn’t like how reddit treated the iPad guy so I painted the guy that painted the girl that who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom on my iPad.

Continue from OP’s branch:

I haven’t painted in two years and I’m glad for the inspiration!!

A painting of the guy who hasn’t painted in years painting the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the other girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

Same ‘level’ as the one above:

Usually lurking but not today…plaid was a great challenge!

Continue! With a cat!

We painted the guy that painted the other guy who hadn’t painted in 2 years who painted the other guy who painted the girl that painted the guy who painted the girl that painted the guy that painted some guy’s mother who painted a swan whilst making them all an NPC in the process

Honorary mentioned:

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!!!

And finally, The Great Family Tree (some branch is not in the picture, pls click the link below for the full list:

This seems necessary…

https://nubleh.github.io/i_painted/