PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@misanthropemom
Sending love to anyone who is justā¦ tired.
Of the bills. The responsibility. The emotional labor. The constant pressure of trying to make life work for themselves and the people they love.
Be gentle with yourself. The caregiver deserves care, too.
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I never saw people say stuff like this enough when I was a teenager, so Iām saying it now.
Iām in my mid-thirties and I have never had sex. Iāve thought about it and could have had one or two opportunities if I put in more effort, but I always decided against it because I just wasnāt into it at the time.
I can safely say that I do not feel I have missed out on anything. I was perfectly capable, by myself, of learning about my own body and boundaries without anyone else there to muddy the waters. The immense pressure that was there in my teens/twenties to Have Sex Just Do It is basically gone. Iām vibing. Iāve got my routine by myself in bed that I enjoy, and thatās enough for me.
And in the unlikely event that I ever decide to have sex with someone in the future, I donāt feel at all like Iām lacking some essential Knowledge or Skill that would āmake it goodā for someone else. I fully expect to ask my partner out loud what they like and to receive an answer clearly communicated and to relax and have fun. And if itās a disappointing experience, Iām fine with that too. It is what it is.
Sex is just not that big of a deal. I suspected it as a teen, and Iām more sure of it now. Itās fine to have it or not have it. Itās whatever.
i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while
i am kissing you on the mouth right now
you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events
Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your āi donāt owe anyone anythingā shtick are too happy to forget
Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the Ā£5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly Ā£5, I refuse to make an effort for you if thereās nothing in it for me
Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and Iām going to do the same for you, it doesnāt matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care
This bit for everyone who fears they are a burden to the friendship everytime they need the other person
Calvin and Hobbes - Itās July Already
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2021:
Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li
2021:
Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.
2018:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a childās brain development and increa
2016:
Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.
2012:
A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis
2010:
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on
I havenāt pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.
So let me scream it from the hilltops:
Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.
If you think, ābut I was hit and I turned out just fineā let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as āfineā?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.
This post needs a "it's been 5 years" update, so here we go:
2022:
Spanking is a risk factor for children's social competency. However, establishing causality is a challenge, given selection bias in samples
Background There is a vast literature on the negative associations between spanking in childhood and various psychosocial developmental outc
2023:
The use of corporal punishment in schools is not an effective or ethical method for management of behavior concerns and causes harm to stude
Spanking has been linked to multiple maladaptive child outcomes. However, previous research linking spanking with children's executive funct
2024:
Corporal punishment is believed to precede various forms of violent behavior, yet prior research has yielded inconsistent findings, partly d
2025:
This technical report describes the prevalence, risk factors for, and consequences of child corporal punishment, which it defines as āany pu
Physically punishing children in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs) has exclusively negative outcomes -- including poor health, lower
YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME TUMBLR
So annoying. So GD annoying.
did tumblr delete my post
yeah, they did. I wrote up a big long post about the Trevor Project and the 12 hour charity livestream I'm participating in right now, and they deleted it. twice. We've raised over $50,000 for a legitimate charity but because it helps trans kids it gets deleted from the site
please share this if you can. so many amazing people have come together to make this happen.
if I make these links clickable they'll get deleted so please copy and paste them:
Livestream: https://www.twitch.tv/enderempress
Donate: https://give.thetrevorproject.org/TPC2026
a little warm up for the day
ink: diamine oxblood
[grabby hands]
You can buy most things from their webite without being a member! And there's always instacart.
Honestly, when I first read it, I thought that word was shit, too.
So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called āHome Movie: The Princess Brideā where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.
And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (iām not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus havenāt seen this yet), and then they justā¦ recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.
So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:
Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someoneās face:
And itās all just delightful.
But my absolute favorite part of this thing that Iāve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thingā¦ is that Carey Elwes is in it.
As Prince Fucking Humperdink.
https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI
Here ya go
In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid putrescence, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody
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Real homies respect trans people!
Things that work in fiction but not real life
torture getting reliable information out of people
knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
calling the police to deescalate a situation
rafting your way off a desert island
correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
heterosexual cowboy
This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.
All the rest of it is legitimate bullshit, but I assure you: I can operate a computer 100% by typing.
Im going to hold your hand when I say this. It is not realistic to expect yourself or your family to be able to survive solely off of food you have foraged or grown in a garden. People with more knowledge and experience have tried and failed. What do you think happened to all of those communes in the 60s? Most of them failed. Famine and malnutrition have been constant companions to humanity until industrialized farming and food supply lines came along.
It feels like a uniquely American capitalist take to assume these traditions will make you completely self sufficient. You need a lot of people, a lot of time, a lot of knowledge across a lot of subjects, and a lot of luck to provide for everyone's nutritional needs.
So should you even bother trying to be more self sufficient with your food? I argue yes. Foraging and gardening are fun and will teach you so much about many things. They are deeply rewarding activities that can supplement your diet. There are herbs I haven't bought in years because I grow my own. There are dishes I can only make with foraged ingredients because I can't get them in stores.
You may not have the power to do everything, but that doesn't mean your efforts are wasted. Getting 5% of your nutritional needs from food you have grown or foraged, even for a season, is a massive accomplishment.
It takes approximately 2,000 calories a day to fuel the average human. A family of four needs roughly three million calories in a year. You're not going to get that from a backyard truck garden and a couple of chickens.
But you can get variety, flavor, and vitamins even if the bulk of your calories are coming from somewhere else. And if you grow more of something than you need, it gives you something to trade or gift to other people.
I have chickens, bees, fruit trees, and an absolutely massive garden... all in a major American city. My spouse also hunts and fishes regularly.
In a good year, these efforts account for maaaaaaybe 15% of our food intake.
We still rely on grocery stores for the majority of our calories and nutrition and that's ok. It doesn't mean the garden is a waste of time or that hunting is a waste of effort.
The first eggs all of my niblings ate as children were from MY chickens, that I lovingly raise in a healthy, humane environment. I start every morning with a mug of black tea sweetened with honey from the bees that industriously pollinate my garden. I can't remember the last time I bought salsa, marinara, or bone broth, but I had to build new shelves to store my abundance of canned food only last week!
Growing or foraging your own food is not a wasted effort even if it only replaces a tiny percentage of your grocery store haul. It's an enriching (and time consuming and difficult) hobby that's good for you and good for your community.
#i HAVE to include context as a classical musician who is *almost*in these spaces #this is from the schleswig-holstein music festival #(presumably faculty????) #which is probably The most selective classical music festival in the goddamn world #these people are some of the best you will ever hear on their respective instruments #this was literally posted originally by the goddamn schleswig-holstein music festival #these are their dudes #classical musician me is being shocked by seeing them on tumblr #yāall donāt even know how insane this is #yāall are just enjoying chickens playing saxophone and cornet (via @clockworkouroboros )
And playing Michael Jackson.
I so good. *pats own back* I did my exercises and now am completely exhausted. *Attempting to bask in the endorphins*
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Capitalism works under democratic socialism
We need to have a nomination forĀ āStupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believedā and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, Iām putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelledĀ āBerenstain Bearsā wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I canāt decide which is more beautiful. Itās why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
Weāre getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
Two old favourites:
āBitch, Thatās the Tubby Custard Machineā (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)
and the horse dildo that was passed off as someoneās arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)
This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.
Rare blue watermelon
That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair
How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain
soap makes water molecules smaller
I nominate the āwe are killing the earthā picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012
the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar
āTequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you likeā
that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him
that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus
The two way mirror
ālisten here, cumslut.ā
I canāt believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.
I canāt believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
infinite chocolate hack
berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)
mri scan walking dead gif
train gif brain thinks you died
tubby custard machine
horse dildo
moonmelon (and variations)
alexandriaās genisis
bird chocolate fountain og post
soap shrinks water molecules
we are killing the earth
ham on dog
tequila isnt a depressant
earth is lumpy
joker without makeup
voldemort fetus
two way mirror og post
fig vagina
