solarfruit

Secret Sea Cave

Missed Mermay 2026 but just in time for Pride! A mermaid and a pirate queen meeting for a secret tryst!

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

the female gaze

As a little girl, Elodie never dreamed of being a mermaid like so many of her peers. She was afraid of deep water and sharks, always sticking to the shallows or the beach itself. How could she have known her eventual fate? On vacation swimming over a reef she wasn’t comfortable around, with coworkers she didn’t even really like, she’s bitten by something she can’t describe. What follows is a more hellish week of her life than she could have ever anticipated even in her worst nightmares. Itching, scale like rashes. Strange developments of webbed flesh. Slowly drying out, no matter how much she drank or bathed. The dreams of so many others became her horrible reality in a harrowing fight for her life. The loss of her job, her apartment, her legs.