the girl who collected stars

Dear Applicant,

Thank you very much for expressing interest in my profile and sharing your credentials through Colony 101’s moderation team. I admit that I was quite surprised when they told me I had an application. Nevertheless, I was very pleased to review your personal information and portrait. I do hope you’ll excuse my somewhat delayed reply as I wished to give each aspect of the submission proper consideration.

After much reflection, I regret to inform you that I cannot accept your offer at this time. I must stress that it is not because I find any fault with you whatsoever; your profile is exemplary, and your portrait is fetching. I confidently assure you any other woman will be delighted to receive a proposition from an exceptional man such as yourself.

I wish you only the best in your future endeavors. May Colony 141 see a prosperous harvest this autumn.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

Thank you for reviewing my submission. You should know that I don’t make such offers lightly, and as a matter of fact, I too only enrolled recently at the urging of some mates. So I appreciate the thoughtful way in which you shared the disappointing news of your rejection.

However, I am afraid I have some bad news as well: your response has only served to further intrigue me. I figured I had a 50/50 shot when I sent in my submission, but I certainly did not expect your response to be so encouraging, and… am I mad to say flattering? It has led me to wonder why, exactly, you feel we aren’t a good fit.

Please understand that I have no intention of pressuring you or attempting to change your mind. I completely respect your decision as final. But I’ve been told I’m a stubborn bastard chap and I had to at least try to get to the bottom of your captivating letter.

Colony 141 continues to trudge along, and I am sure our harvest will be bountiful thanks to gardeners like you. I appreciate what you do for our society.

Yours,

John

===

 Dear Applicant,

Odd for you to comment on my contributions to society, when you are a soldier. I had meant to thank you for your service in my original letter, but I did not wish to come off as insincere. So, from someone who has only been able to hold a trowel because I have never had to hold a gun, thank you. My existence would look very different if we did not have brave souls like you defending our colonies.

In regard to your inquiry, I fear that the answer you seek would not result in a fruitful discussion, and I wish to spare both of us the awkwardness of bringing it up. I can only once again reiterate my previous sentiments: as one of the most attractive men on the registry, you will undoubtedly find a favorable match in a matter of days. And by attractive, I do not refer exclusively to your appearance. Your career, physical specifications, responses to the preferences survey, and personal statement surely make you highly sought-after.

By the way, just so you know, the sort of gardening I work with is not agricultural in nature. At the risk of boring you, I am a botanist (and amateur mycologist) who works largely with rare, non-edible plant species. Not every colony engages in this work, so you may not find a counterpart at the 141.

I once again thank you for your interest and for your kind words. May the wind be at your back in all your journeys.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

You should know that these nonanswers will not yield your intended outcome. I am keener than ever to unravel the mystery of you and figure out what went through your mind when you reviewed my submission. Perhaps you could consider your feedback to be a sort of charitable act, helping an old soldier update his profile for improved chances of finding a match?

To avoid an endless cycle of letters where I ask and you deflect, I have listed several guesses below as to why I did not meet your standards. As my pride has already taken a bit of a blow, it brings me no further shame to reveal that some of the lads under my supervision helped me generate the list. They actually had many, many more features they thought you would find objectionable, but I had to narrow it down due to paper and ink rationing.

The facial hair. I have been told it is “polarizing,” in that people are either fond of it or completely put off. Honestly, my father wore his in this style and it felt second nature to do the same. If this is indeed the dealbreaker, I would like to remind you that it can be modified with a quick shave.

My age. I understand that at 37, I may be a bit past my prime – at least, in terms of this program. I did notice your desired age range was 30-40, and that you also fall within that bracket, but I’ve been informed that I have “old man energy” which may have come through in my profile.

My career. It is no secret that men in my line of work often have their lives cut short by the many threats that face our colonies. I’ve had a number of close calls through the years, and I maintain that surviving as long as I have is a function of luck as much as skill. Some women, understandably, have no desire to be bred by a man who may be dead before she gives birth.

Tobacco. As a matter of integrity, I was truthful in my profile about my addiction to cigars. Personally I enjoy the smell, but the boys never fail to remind me that it is “revolting” to most women. While I can’t make any promises about kicking the habit, I can at least assure you I am not one of those blokes who puffs smoke in others’ faces to establish dominance.

I look forward to you confirming one or more of these guesses. Pull no punches, my lady. I stand no chance of thriving in this program if I do not correct my shortcomings.

Your work sounds absolutely fascinating (I confess I had to look up what a ‘mycologist’ does). Should you ever wish to share more about your profession, consider me your attentive student.

Yours,

John

===

Dear Applicant,

I am beginning to see why you have earned a reputation for stubbornness. I hope it is not improper to share that I find your persistence charming, in its way, although my initial response remains unchanged.

Your guesses, while amusing, are categorically wrong. Your beard is very handsome; I prefer a man in the same decade as myself, so 37 is perfect; I greatly admire your vocation as a protector of the colonies; and it would be hypocritical of me to fault you for smoking cigars when I myself have an odious habit of chewing sunflower seeds. Your boys sound like just that – boys – and their advice on what qualifies as attractive should not be applied to a man. (I hope that is not offensive. I’m sure they are lovely.)

At this point, I feel I must address the elephant in the room: despite your insinuations, I am not your only prospect on the registry. I checked in with our moderators today and found that you have several dozen requests in your queue that have gone unanswered. While I am deeply flattered by your attention, the breeding program was established to facilitate connections that will result in an increased birthrate. If I continue to tie you up with these letters (no matter how much I enjoy them) I fear that we are disrupting the purpose of this program, to the detriment of our society. With that, I must request that we cease communication so that you may redirect your single-minded focus to a more agreeable suitor.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

Why won’t you call me John? Surely you read it in my profile, and I sign my letters with my first name. I can only surmise that you hope to keep me at arm’s length and remind us both of the transactional circumstances of our introduction. I’m sorry to say it’s not working, R. Because I have a feeling when you think about me, you don’t call me ‘Applicant’ in your head.

Your responses continue to perplex and frustrate me in a way that I find arousing. Too much head trauma through the years, I suppose, but here we are.

Allow me to address those “several dozen requests.” I have no interest in bedding a girl half my age, even purely for procreative purposes, which eliminates a large portion of the submissions. As for the rest of them, if I may be frank? I have not found any to be remotely as attractive as you.

Call me shallow, but what first captured me was your portrait. You have such a pretty face. Next, I read your physical attributes – age, height, weight, eye and hair color, etc. – and found all of them to my liking. On top of all that, you’re a career woman. I won’t pretend I understood all your credentials, but I saw that you apprenticed across three different colonies to study botany and secure a position in the 101’s greenhouses. It reminded me of my own dedication to my job. Finally, I was quite prepared to discover incompatibilities when comparing our preference surveys, but damned if we weren’t aligned on that, too.

And I still recall your personal statement verbatim: “I enrolled in this breeding program to support repopulation efforts. I admittedly procrastinated in hopes of finding a partner organically, but at this stage it is likely that I only have a few years of fertility left. Let us make the most of them and do our part for the colonies.”

It was so compelling to me that this proper stunning woman spoke about herself like fruit at risk of turning overripe, only as valuable as her womb. And while I suppose that’s the point of the program, your profile provided me with empirical evidence that there was so, so much more to you.

I was right, of course. You’re brilliant. Even from the few short letters you’ve sent me, I can tell you’re a woman of conviction who, beneath all her polite words, is more of a spitfire than she lets on. I also get the sense that I am only scraping the surface. We could trade a hundred more letters and I would still have more to learn about you.

Now, why don’t you tell me how come you’re wasting time answering them, hmm? Our moderator won’t tell me bollocks, but I’d bet my last penny you’ve got lads beating down your door.

Could it be because the charming Captain from the 141 is wearing you down after all?

Yours,

John

===

Dear Applicant,

If I have been somewhat standoffish in my letters, it is only because I do not wish to give you the wrong impression. I enjoy our conversations, but it is not your words that inspired my rejection; nothing you could write would change my mind. Moreover, I fear that your fascination with me is misplaced. I do not contain the multitudes you seem to believe I do. I’m a simple botanist with average amounts of conviction, spit, and fire. I’m also more than a little concerned that some of the attributes in my profile were not transcribed correctly. Do you mean to indicate that my weight and dimensions constitute your preferred body type, rather than drawbacks you were willing to overlook? Seems off. I would recommend turmeric to address the delusions you may be experiencing (whoever is in charge of your greenhouse should be able to accommodate that request).

I have received a few other submissions since our communications began, though not nearly as many as you have. I am skeptical that any of them read my profile as thoroughly as you did. We do not appear to meet each other’s requirements and our preference surveys do not align. I even had one applicant withdraw his submission because he, according to my apparently loose-lipped moderator, realized I was not a virgin. I am in my 30s, for heaven’s sake! I may not have made a love connection, but I didn’t spend all my time grafting fruit trees.

As long as I have your ear though, I do have a bit of an odd request. Do you know someone at Colony 141 named Kyle Garrick? My friend Kleopatros saw his profile on the registry but is morally opposed to the breeding program. She would like to communicate with him in a more casual context, without the intention of procreating. I have enclosed her contact information and portrait with this letter. If you could locate Mr. Garrick and pass along Kleo’s interest, I would be extremely grateful.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

Ha! Kyle Garrick (goes by Gaz) is one of the men under my command. I shared Kleo’s information as you asked and he seemed taken by her portrait. I understand that she should be receiving something from him in the same postal delivery as this letter.

Your weight and dimensions, R., are bloody perfect. Exactly the sort of woman I would want carrying my child (and to be honest, who I would enjoy making a child with).

Whether intentionally or not, you’ve given me a hint about the grounds for your rejection. If my words cannot convince you, that means the objection is not related to my personality or preferences. That leaves my career, my history, or my physical appearance. You claim to have no problem with my job and find me handsome, so…

It’s something in my history, then? My medical records are more extensive than most other candidates, I’m sure. Lots of injuries through the years. I won’t deny that my body is a bit worse for the wear, love – I’m down a kidney, got lots of scars, my damned knee acts up when it rains. Since we both checked “undecided” for whether we wish to raise the child together or have the Attendants raise them, you must not be too worried about whether I can give a decent piggyback ride.

Therefore, I conclude that you are concerned my laundry list of injuries will impede my performance in the bedroom. In your second letter, you referred to the reason as “awkward,” which further corroborates this theory.

I look forward to your confirmation that I have indeed solved our little mystery. And I am even more eager to detail the many, many ways in which I could prove you wrong.

Yours,

John

===

Dear Applicant John (I am trying this out on a probationary basis),

I am not sure it is to either of our benefits to indulge your guessing game, but I find myself powerless to discourage you when I find it so thoroughly entertaining. So I will tell you this: although your guess is incorrect, the process of elimination you used was sound. You are getting "warmer" than when your boys were brainstorming with you. That being said, do not get smug. You will never guess it, and you are insufferable enough as it is.

Kleo is thrilled that Kyle responded to her. She would never admit it, but I can see the sparkle in her eyes. Like you, she works protecting our colony and is often surrounded by men who thrive off exploiting anything that could be perceived as a weakness. She has developed a tough exterior for this reason, so it was surprising to see her laughing girlishly as she read his letter. For what it's worth – she's something special. Kyle is lucky to have caught her interest.

You have made me curious about the other "lads" who work under you. You speak of them fondly, but I have not missed the undertone of exasperation. How long have you known them and what are they like? I understand that certain defense operations are classified, so please disregard this if it is not appropriate.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

Seeing my name written in your hand this morning was the highlight of my day. I will be on my best behavior in hopes of bringing my probation to an early conclusion.

I was so tremendously confident in my guess that it hadn't occurred to me I might be wrong. This leaves me in a bit of a predicament, you see, because I had already drafted a letter enumerating the ways I could demonstrate my sexual prowess. Now it is simply sitting here, next to several neglected reports on my desk, with no reason whatsoever to be sent. Unless, of course, you're curious?

The three boys who work under me are the closest thing I have to a family. You're right to say that sometimes I have classified missions, but this should be all above board.

You already know Gaz – the youngest of the bunch, good-natured, focused, and competent. I would not be surprised if I'm under his command in a few years. He’s also a huge asset to our team by simply being likeable – good community relations and all that. Most folks in the colonies don't have the highest opinions of the brutes who parade around the ramparts with grenade launchers, although they seem to like us bloody fine when we're escorting delivery caravans or fighting off raider attacks. Anyway. Gaz has the sort of approachability that most of us codgers lost on a battlefield years ago. I think he might be just what your Kleo needs.

Then there's Johnny, who I suppose would also be likeable if he ever shut up. Very high energy, that one. He's damned good at what he does, though – a demolitions specialist who has set up the area surrounding the 141 with landmines and bombs. More than once, his traps have taken out a group of bandits without putting a single one of our own men in danger. Not always easy to keep him supplied with the components he needs, but he's resourceful as hell. And between you and me, maybe I don't mind all his chatter. Entertaining, at least.

The one I've known the longest is Simon. He's had a tougher life than anyone I know, and somehow still chose to side with the good guys. Comes off awfully strange when you first meet him – real quiet, emotionless in his takedowns, sounds like he gargles broken glass when he does speak. But every now and then he hits you with the worst joke you've heard in your life, or he lets it slip how deeply he cares about our little found family, and you remember he's human under his mask after all. I don't think I would be the man I am today without him.

Got a bit carried away there, didn't I? Sorry, love. I don't have the easiest time connecting with people, so the ones who matter to me, I keep them real close.

One last thing. Lately I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if we met, face-to-face. If I'm this besotted already, I can only imagine what it would be like to hear you sigh at me in frustration or see you roll your eyes at my persistence. I know, I know... our colonies are several days apart by foot and we both have demanding jobs. As you remind me nearly every letter, I really should just move on.

All I mean to say is that, someday, I would love to be rejected by you in person.

Just a little daydream I have sometimes. Don't worry, you won't find me peeking in your greenhouse tomorrow or anything. Maybe you could let me know if you've ever imagined anything similar.

Yours,

John

===

Dear John,

Please don't ever apologize for being proud of your team. They sound brilliant, all of them, and I can picture exactly how you balance each other out. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my colleagues, but I suppose propagating nightshade together doesn't cement the bond of brotherhood in the same way that patching someone's stab-wound beneath the tattoo of gunfire does. The more I learn about your life, the more I wonder how a woman such as myself managed to catch your attention in the first place. It is highly irrational for you to waste your time on a spinster botanist when you could be making John Juniors with much more desirable partners.

The only reason I do not entertain daydreams similar to the ones you describe are because I do not allow myself to. And for the record, I am not, not curious about the contents of your unsent letter. But trust me, John: That way madness lies. I am becoming a little too infatuated with you and I feel terribly guilty for monopolizing your time. Before this goes too far, let us simply be grateful for the conversations we have had and find ourselves someone else to breed with.

To that end, this is the last letter you will receive from me. Sincerely, I wish nothing but good things for you. And if our paths do cross one day, I should like to thank you in person for the joy your words have brought me.

You are an extraordinary man, John Price. Farewell.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

I had never thought to meet a woman as bloody stubborn as I am

If you are as drawn to me as you claim, what the hell is preventing you from

You are mistaken if you think a lack of responses will deter me from pursuing

Help me understand

===

Dear R.,

You're right. We have been wasting each other's time, and I apologize for the role I played in that.

Given that we will cease all interaction, I have decided to enclose my unsent letter as I have no other use for it. Read it or toss it in the rubbish pile – the choice is entirely yours.

Should you ever change your mind and desire further communication, you know how to contact me. Until then, godspeed.

Still yours,

John

Enclosed:

Dear R.,

Although you have made it clear that you are no blushing virgin, I am a bit concerned that you will find this letter crude. Please know that my intention is merely to explain what I am capable of in the bedroom and why my medical history will not hold me back. Now, to my injuries:

Two broken fingers and a wrist fracture. I have actually broken my fingers many more times than you see in my records, but I was more often than not encouraged to tape them up and ignore the pain. I only saw a medic for the one referenced here because I couldn’t hold my rifle. It has been years since I have sustained any hand-related injuries; on the contrary, my fingers have had much practice loading bullets, pulling triggers, and polishing the insides of barrels. Whether you prefer a touch that is gentle or relentless, that tenderly holds your face or anchors your hips to mine, trust that these hands are up for the job.

Dislocated jaw. This one hurt like a bitch, but I learned my lesson about picking fistfights with pricks twice my size. Took months before I could talk and chew without a bit of an ache. The good news is that now, the stamina of my mouth muscles is unparalleled. What this means for you is that I could spend literal hours with my lips on your ample breasts or my tongue buried deep inside you. When I’m in the field, my reactions have to be instant, seamless, urgent – but with you, R., I would take my sweet bloody time. And I have a mouth that has been broken and remade into the perfect tool to worship you.

“Fucked up” (medical term) knee. I’d rather not get into the incident that started all my knee problems, as it was rather traumatic, but suffice it to say the damn thing has never been the same. You will hear me groan when I stand up or see me restlessly shift my legs when I sit for too long. Fortunately, I have been conditioned through two decades of military training to power through discomfort for the sake of the mission. The mission, in this case, is bringing you to orgasm. I will become an immovable object, impervious to pain or distraction, until I feel you come on my fingers or tongue or cock. As a point of pride, I will not ask you to take on the more rigorous role as an accommodation for my disability – unless, of course, that is your preference. Although fuck, love, the thought of you riding me I can also think of a great many positions that should not strain my knee at all.

Finally, I would like to call your attention to the lack of injuries impacting the most important part of my anatomy. I can attest that it functions admirably. Hopefully uncut won’t be an issue for you, because although I would stop at almost nothing to get in your bed, I shall need to do some soul-search before I commit to circumcision.

In any event, should you require references to verify that the size, shape, and endurance of my cock would provide you with an adequately pleasurable experience, I can produce a few names.

I trust that this detailed account has quashed any misconception that I am not in peak physical condition to impregnate you. I am happy to take any questions.

Yours,

John

===

Dear R.,

It is a special type of torment not knowing if it was my crass letter that is responsible for your lack of a reply, or if you are simply sticking to your guns. I hope it was clear that my agreement to give up was only a ploy. You remain on my mind every day.

The boys tell me I have been "brooding."

Yours,

John

===

Dear R.,

Simon told a joke today that I thought you would enjoy, even though it was at my expense. Or, perhaps, because it was at my expense.

“What’s the difference between Cap and a pile of bricks?”

“Bricks can get laid.”

Celibately yours,

John

===

Dear Kleo,

As I'm sure Gaz has mentioned, I am smitten with your stubborn friend who refuses to answer my letters. I write to you in desperation, seeking any foothold that will allow me to scale her impregnable walls. How can I demonstrate that my only desire is to bring us mutual pleasure, precisely on her terms? And although it must be her choice to reveal this information, I cannot stop wondering which of my flaws has held her back in the first place.

In return for any advice you offer, I can compensate you handsomely with embarrassing stories about Gaz. I wager this is sufficiently tempting for you to come to my aid.

- John

PS: You’ve got the lad so barmy over you he quit the breeding program, you know. I better not see a transfer request from him on my desk any time soon.

===

Captain,

Send her a plant or mushroom and ask her what it is. She can’t resist.

- Kleo

PS: What if the transfer request was from me?

===

Dear R.,

Enclosed you will find a sample of a specimen that I discovered during a recent escort mission. I thought it looked interesting, but could not identify it. If it held up alright through the delivery, could you let me know what it's called and how it can be used?

Yours,

John

===

Dear John,

The specimen in question is tinder fungus, also known as hoof conk, a perennial fungus with a broad native range and a variety of uses.

Although it is not rare, we do consider it valuable. The very fact that you discovered it in the winter speaks to its resilient nature and ability to withstand cold, which cannot be said for many other mushrooms. It is an excellent fire starter, hence the tinder moniker, due to its dry and spongey flesh. It is obviously lighter to transport than wood and it stays dry more reliably. It can also be added in small doses to tea as an anti-inflammatory or to help with heavy menstruation.

What is really sensational though – and forgive my enthusiasm – is its application for treating injuries. The same properties that make it ideal for starting fires render it a "styptic," used to stanch wounds by absorbing blood while signaling your body to slow the bleeding. If you are in a pinch and cannot find gauze or the like, packing a wound with clean (I highly recommend coating it in a light layer of aloe to prevent infection) tinder fungus should buy you time until proper treatment is available.

It is fascinating, isn't it, to imagine the civilizations throughout history who have relied on this humble species to save lives? Whether to start a fire in the unforgiving wilderness, or stay the bleeding of a lethal wound? Today we walk past it and think it nothing more than an ugly lump, the equivalent of gangrene on a tree, and yet centuries of human experimentation have uncovered its merit.

I wonder if any of this could be useful to you when you are in the field.

While consuming it won't kill you (as far as my research turned up), it is nearly impossible to digest when eaten raw and reportedly causes digestive complications. Be honest: did you eat the tinder fungus, John? If so, the gastrointestinal distress you are currently experiencing is a just punishment for forcing me to violate my no-further-contact rule.

That said... I don't actually wish any pain upon you. Kindly write me back so I know you are okay.

Respectfully,

R.

===

Kleo,

It worked. Here’s your payment:

This is Gaz’s second go at the breeding program. Met a lovely girl the first time ‘round, was so excited to meet her, even arranged a romantic dinner before their first night together. Unfortunately, the chap has absolutely no stomach for spicy food. He spent the remainder of the evening in the bathroom to the horror and disgust of his lady friend. He said it was not the smell, but the sound of echoing porcelain that haunts him to this day.

- John

PS: The 141 is always looking for good soldiers. All the better if you have someone you’re fighting to come home to.

===

Dear R.,

I am not in the habit of eating unidentified tree growths – but if ingesting a little poison is all it takes to get you to the side of my sickbed, I might be tempted. In all seriousness, thank you for your identification. I will inform our foraging team about the cluster of tinder fungus I found so they might collect it for the uses you mentioned.

How have you been, since last you wrote? Given that we are in the grip of winter right now, I imagine your work has slowed down to an extent. We had one of those light, powdery snows here last night and I’m currently watching a few children make angels and snowmen out my window. It’s wretched being on patrol in the snow, but getting to see the little ones enjoy it reminds me why I’m out there in the first place.

I missed you, R. Please don’t stop writing.

Yours,

John

PS: Give it to me straight – did I scare you with my raunchy letter?

===

Dear John,

I missed speaking with you, too. I think there is an easy solution to this: let us write letters as friends rather than prospective mates. We can enjoy the benefit of each other’s company without any further expectations, while each pursing different matches in the breeding program.

Kleo told me you wrote to her for advice. I would be angry you went behind my back if I wasn’t so flattered. I cannot truly be worth all this trouble, John.

Respectfully,

R.

PS: No. You didn’t.

===

Dear R.,

You are worth all this trouble and more. If the only way I can keep you in my life is as a friend, I shall take it.

I did wish to run something by you. The 141 is planning a longer than normal delivery directly to Colony 76. We are putting together an escort detail for protection, of course, and I’ve signed myself up. This means that I will be passing by the 101. If you are amenable, I could convince the organizers to schedule a brief stopover at your colony. I would only be able to stay a few hours, but it would allow us to meet in person.

I want to assure you that I would ask nothing at all of you except to join me for tea and a chat. We could meet wherever you are most comfortable and I will endeavor to keep the bad jokes I learned from Simon to a minimum. It just seems absurd to me that we have been in communication for the better part of four months and have never seen each other. Reading descriptions and measurements in a profile is one thing, but I would love to have a more complete and accurate image in my head of the woman who occupies so many of my thoughts.

I understand and respect your decision if you would rather not see me. We leave in a week and a half, though, so please don’t take too long to think it over.

Yours,

John

===

Dear John,

Yes. Please, yes, I would like to meet you. I will wait at the gates for the arrival of your caravan with a selection of tea for you to choose from. The walk back to my cabin would waste too much time if I can only have you if you will only be here for a few hours, but there is a communal space with a cozy fireplace that I think will be perfect for a snack and conversation. I have the silliest urge to bake you something, though I am awful at it. So, should I offer you some brittle, unidentifiable discs that I claim are cookies, please do not be alarmed.

For the record, this is not a date. I expect a full report of all the connections you are pursuing in the breeding program so I can verify that you are not still carrying a torch for me. 10-4, Captain?

Respectfully,

R.

===

Dear R.,

I am madly excited to finally meet you in person. What does your voice sound like when you talk about plants? Would your cheeks turn pink if I said something that made you shy? How do you like to wear your hair, and does it fall in your face when you laugh? Even a few hours with you would do much to satisfy my rampant curiosity.

It is freeing, in a way, that we have decided to be just friends. Now I may enjoy your company without fearing that every hard-fought inch of ground I have won from you could be lost with a mere glance. All the better if you think me ugly, so I may put these foolish fant There are so many more levels of compatibility beyond that of sexual partners that we could explore, R. – we might make a brilliant team in charades, for example, or perhaps you’ll take a puff of my cigar and realize we are destined to be smoking buddies.

By the way, Gaz has now talked himself onto the damn escort detail so he can see Kleo. My understanding is that their planned activities for the stopover are not suitable for a communal space like the one you mentioned, but I hope to briefly introduce you to each other. I have a feeling the lads think I am making you up and I would like a witness to testify on my behalf.

This is the last letter I will have time to send before we meet in person.

Very nearly yours in the flesh,

John

===

Kleo – Sorry I missed you this morning, but could you swing by my cabin tonight? I need help picking out an outfit for tomorrow and also I think I am going to vomit and what if he thinks I’m fat and frumpy and wouldn’t that be a good thing because I don’t want his attention in the first place?? Anyway. As you can see I am totally normal but it would be great if you could bring me some of your special cigarettes that help with nerves. – R.

===