Solace In Abandonment

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Krusie is like “I have barely known you for three days but I would happily die if it meant I could protect you. I regret every second we spent thinking we hated each other, because now that I see the real you, it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are the one person I can truly rely on, even if I have to keep the most devastating of secrets from you that will bury me in the end. I see you, and I love you.”

Kriselle is like “I haven’t had a conversation with you last more than five minutes in years and I can still remember every word we’ve said to each other. We were the closest two people could possibly be without literally sharing a body and now I don’t even know how to talk to you. I pretend like you don’t mean anything to me because admitting how much I still love you terrifies me to the core, and I feel insane guilt every day over the fact I broke us apart. I hope one day you can forgive me for being a terrible friend.”

Suselle is like “You are everything that I am not that I so desperately want to be. You hide your true self away under these layers of facade but I can see the sparkling gem underneath and it is such a beautiful sight, I don’t think I am worthy to behold it. I want to steal every moment I can with you and I will fight to do so even if fate itself attempts to tears us apart. I don’t know if I will ever deserve you but I will still reach out to you, and I will find a way to keep you.”

Susei/Ralsusie is like “We are polar opposites in every way I can imagine and it only brings us closer together. You complete me in ways I did not know I needed to be completed. When everything and everyone told me that I did not matter, you told me I am important not in spite of but because of who I am. I will take every blow and every injury if it means protecting your smile and keeping you safe. I will even destroy my own heart if it means giving you the happiness that I know for a fact you deserve.”

Kralsei is like “What if you met the person that was literally made for you, and that all the world was pushing you together, but there was something wrong? What if the person you were born to fall in love with was an unflattering, bitter depiction of who you are and who you used to be? What if your honest to God Soulmate was keeping secrets and undermining everything you have dedicated your life to do, not out of cruelty or malicious intent, but because it was genuinely what they needed to do, what they were always going to do? And what if, in spite of all of that, you fell in love with each other anyways?”

Kerdly is like “I don’t know if I can call you my friend or say I care about you, but you still define so much of who I am, intentionally or otherwise. I don’t have many people who would give a shit if I live or die, and I don’t know if you’re one of them, but I still need you to be in my life. I will fight you, I will hurt you, I will defy everything you want if I absolutely have to, but when the chips are down I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I don’t know if I love you, I don’t even know if I like you, but I still need you, whatever that even means.”

Dessriel…I mean, do I even have to explain that one? Whatever happened, however things went, you already know.

ANY adult Holiday/Dreemurr ship is like “We were once something special, closer than anyone could possibly imagine. My home was your home, and yours was mine. Even outside of what the world might accept, we were one family. Then everything went wrong, and now we’ve fallen apart. My life is crumbling down around me in ways I didn’t even think were possible, and yet I still care about you. I still love you, even as we rapidly approach the end, and the world crumbles down around me. I don’t know if we’re still a family, but you will always be my home.”

Hello everyone!

Last year I started designing a series of Coat of Arms, themed in the spirit of Pride Month and using different mythological creatures as heraldic animals. I now aim to turn these designs into wearable pins and will be running a Kickstarter in July to fund this endeavor! I have found a very trustworthy local manufacturer, who has already shown the quality of their craftsmanship with the first batch of test pins I received, just look at the detail they were able to produce!

Since I try to support local manufacturers, which produce pins with fair wages and are more ethical than outside of Europe, the pins are more expensive to create than through the usual pipeline via Asia.

I therefore seek to crowdfund the expenses since they would be more than I can afford. If you are interested and look forward to support this little endeavor, please follow the link below to sign up for a mailing list. People who signed up on the email list and pledged during the campaign will receive an exclusive sticker set by the end of a successful launch consisting of the following designs:

SIGN UP ON OUR PRELAUNCH WAITING LIST TO GET THESE LITTLE GUYS FOR FREE

Our Kickstarter Prelaunch Page:

sleep tight... I'll join you soon, beloved.

Should anyone need a bit more help, just ask and i’ll try to explain as best I can!

At the time, I was also working at a pawn shop, and people would sometimes sell us teeth that had gold fillings, and one of the employees would remove the gold and then we were to dispose of the teeth, but I collected them in my own little tin at work to practice with(ethically-dubious, keeping people’s teeth without permission). One day, someone was at my desk and found my little tin of teeth and freaked out and threw them all away and I was very sad.

On break one day, hiding in my car as per usual, I innocently attempted to shove a handful of loose tip money in my glove compartment, i.e. a Later Me problem. However, when the door fell open, a bag of absolutely wretchéd (human?) teeth shamelessly presented itself with a hearty CLUNK as the drawer slammed open from the weight.

I contemplated the bag of teeth as it settled, gently clacking, telling me... something.

First thought: Well, of course there's a bag of teeth in my glove box. Not a modicum of shock. It felt... inevitable. Oh yeah, here's the teeth. The teeth compartment. There they are. A mysterious bag of (extremely filthy? HUMAN??) teeth is confusing and potentially threatening to most, sure. But I know who I am.

More importantly, I know who I'm married to.

Gathering up the precarious bag of (fake human? yes??) teeth, I sent my spouse this image and the following question:

So there I sit, baking in my hot car, a bag of Somebody Else's Teeth on my lap, awaiting a reply from my spouse like an urgent telegram. Against all sense and propriety I open said bag and start fishing through my treasure, holding them up to the light like a jeweler for inspection.

The teeth (pleasantly cool in my sweaty palms) are upsettingly - and unquestionably - human. Heavy as pearls, hard as hell, slick as bone china. The base of each tooth is coated in a sticky red substance, which I scrape off to properly examine. Somewhere, the Law and Order theme is playing. Ice T shakes his head at my folly.

The phone, and my spouse, remain silent.

After a very thorough examination, I come to a comforting conclusion: these are, in fact, (almost) entirely fake human teeth, likely blanks to use as replacements for the unteethed. The red substance is apparently wax, possibly to sort and display said chompers. This does not at all explain why they are, again, in my fucking glove box.

The phone finally beeples, and I shove the handful of teeth in my jacket pocket: another Later Me problem. Right now, knowledge is paramount.

The first message is not enlightening.

Spouse: OH NOOOO YOU FOUND THEM

me: ????????????

Spouse: I'll explain when you get home

me: ??????!!!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT: My spouse purchased the teeth at an estate sale for a dentist who'd recently passed. They happened to borrow my shitbox car that day and shoved the bag in the glove box to keep it hidden. A clear failure, as I don't know how you forget a bag of teeth in someone else's car, but that's not my mystery to solve.

It turns out my spouse had a plan for those teeth. And O! what a plan it was! You see, we'd recently purchased The Property: a strange house built by an unbelievably creepy (and now thankfully deceased) mechanic in the early 50s. Not fun creepy, like my bag of teeth. More "Why is there a hatch cut into your roof" or "What is that secret compartment for" and "Why are there printouts of police codes everywhere." This is important, because...

...The Spouse's plan was to take these teeth and hide them throughout The Property. The very large, multi-structure Property we'd barely explored. They swore up and down they would never have shared their provenance with me; it was intended I would find each tooth over the course of years, growing more frustrated and confused every time a molar showed up in the attic or garage or Hatch or any number of infinite hidey-holes we now possessed.

This was a great plan, for sure. 10/10. And it might have worked, if they could hold it together long enough to fool me (doubtful). But I don't think it would have, because after all: