mellow

You woke up before dawn, although ‘before dawn’ meant little in Coruscant standards. The city would never sleep, just change colours. The Masters had already begun their meditation in the temple, planning and executing their day. You lay there for a moment, listening to the distant air traffic and the hum of the Temple’s energy systems that never shut off. 

You sat up, pulling the blanket closer to your chest as if it would shield you from the memory of yesterday. His tears, your hand in his hair and the nearness you swore you would never allow again. 

The chrono blinked 06:03. He should have been in the Council chamber by now, discussing the ordeal with the Chancellor. You exhaled through your nose and pushed yourself out of bed. Shower. Uniform. You’d barely pulled your cream top on before your commlink chirped. 

Your heart skipped a beat and you looked over at the little silver device on your desk. For one stupid second you thought about ignoring it before you saw the frequency code. 

You thumbed your commlink before letting your mind argue. 

“General Skywalker,” you said, pretending that maybe professionalism would be easier than the heat in your stomach. 

There was some static before his voice came through lower than usual. “You’re up early.”

“Kinda hard to sleep,” you tried to sound casual. “You?”

There was a pause. You could picture him rubbing his eyes in the way they he always did when he had been awake for too long. “Had to be at a meeting with both the Council and Chancellor by first bell,” he said. “They…finalised the report.”

You sat down and sank into your bed, wishing that it would engulf you. “Yeah?” You said with an almost shaky voice. 

“There was another cause that the doctors found. A parasite both Tup and Fives shared probably from water in Ringo Vinda,” he said, recalling what the Chancellor had told him. “It made their chips decay.”

You pressed your palm over your mouth, trying to process what he had just said. 

“And you believe that?” You asked cautiously. 

Anakin furrowed his eyebrows, “why would the Chancellor lie about that?”

“No, it's just…I don’t know, it seems a bit weird.” 

He went quiet for a beat too long. “Three people died. Speculating will just make it worse.” 

You gnawed on the inside of your mouth, not liking the way he was dismissing you. 

He inhaled deeply, immediately noticing the way you went quiet. And then softly, “you should take the day off.”

You wanted to say something sharp or argue but the exhaustion in his voice stopped you, so instead you tried to laugh it off. “Is that an order, General Skywalker?”

“It’s…advice.” He hesitated. “You shouldn’t be pushing yourself right now, especially after everything.”

You could almost imagine the furrow between his brows and the way his robotic hand clenched anxiously. “You’re one to talk,” you murmured. 

“I’m serious,” he said. “You’ve done enough. Just—stay in the Temple. That’s an order if it makes it easier.”

You smiled, as weird as it sounded, you liked it when he ordered you around. It wasn’t something you were used to. “Since when do you care so much about protocol?”

“I care about you collapsing,” he shot back. 

You rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to ignore the warmth in your stomach. Trying to ignore the memory of his against your cheek. 

“Well…what about you?” 

He didn’t answer right away. “I’ll manage.”

“You always say that.”

“And I always do,” he sighed. “Look…I know last night— I mean, thank you. For staying.

You wanted to shake him to realise that he never needed to thank you, that he wasn’t alone and to never shut you out again. Instead, you said, “Anytime.” 

There was a silence again. And you knew if he was in the room with you he would be dangerously close. Not touching but just enough that it made breathing seem like an effort. 

Finally, he broke it. “I’ll check in later. Promise me you’ll rest?”

You tilted your head smiling, “fine. I’ll rest.”

“Good.” The line stayed longer than necessary and you heard him inhale, like he wanted to add something. Then the channel cut. 

You sat there, your covers now down to your lap, staring at the commlink like it had personally offended you. You then attached it to your wrist and dragged in a breath, forcing yourself to move. A day off didn’t mean idle work. 

You ended up in the canteen more out of habit than hunger. 

It smelled of roasted caf beans and disinfectant. Clones were refilling their mugs and a few padawans sat in a corner, still half asleep and mumbling about their lessons. It felt too normal and somehow it made it worse. 

You ended up grabbing yourself a plain ration loaf and a double shot caf. When the tray slid onto the counter, a familiar voice rumbled behind you. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Commander.” 

You turned to see Rex a few steps away. He looked…tired wasn’t even the word for it. Hollow maybe? A stillness around him you only ever saw after a battlefield.” 

“Morning, Captain.” You gestured to an empty seat. “Join me?”

He nodded, setting his cup of caf onto the table before sitting. His gloved hand stayed folded and his armour creaked when he leaned forward. You picked up your own tray and set it down. 

Neither of you spoke for a long moment. You brought your caf to your mouth and relished the bitter taste. Finally, you broke the silence. “How are the boys holding up?”

He blew out air through his nose. “The boys are quiet. Jesse is trying to keep things light but it’s hard to joke when everyone’s pretending to not see two empty bunks.”

You swallowed, feeling your throat tighten. You paused, wanting to find the right words. “They didn’t deserve what happened.” 

Rex clenched his jaw. “No, they didn’t.”

You stared down at your toast, already having lost your appetite. “They were both good soldiers. Their stories won’t be forgotten.”

Rex nodded but didn’t say much. His heart hurt knowing he wouldn’t get his brothers back. 

“Anakin called this morning. Said it was a parasite?” 

“Figures.” Rex said, his voice flat. “Whatever it was, it’s in the past.”

You looked up at him. “You did everything right, Rex. None of it was on you.”

He gave a humourless half-smile. “That’s exactly what General Skywalker said. Can’t say it helps much.”

All you wanted to do was pull him into a hug. Instead, you both sat there with that. The quiet stretched but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just heavy. It was only when you pushed your tray back that he spoke. 

“You headed anywhere?”

“Think I’m just going to take a walk,” you said. “Need to see the Temple when it’s not falling apart.”

He nodded. “Mind if I walk with you?”

“Not at all.”

-------- -------- -------- -------

The Temple corridors were still quiet. A few Jedi passed by, calm, serene and detached. The outside of the Temple glowed with a soft amber and speeders wove like lazy fireflies. For a second you could pretend there was no war in the Galaxy. 

Rex broke the silence. “Feels strange being here this early.”

“In the Temple?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Place always felt strange for us clones. A lot quieter than I thought.”

“Quiet is a relative term,” you said, stepping past a group of younglings that hurried past with training sabers. “You just haven’t seen it when the Masters are arguing philosophy.”

He chuckled out loud at that. The first time he sounded remotely human since Ringo Vinda. 

“I never did apologise for that whole scene in the courtyard,” you started off awkwardly. 

“The argument with General Skywalker?” He raised a brow. 

You hummed in agreement. “Sorry for…yelling at you like that,” you couldn’t look at him in embarrassment. 

Rex then grinned, “It’s fine. It’s not everyday you see the General get lectured.” 

You snorted, “you’d be surprised.”

The lower levels smelled faintly of metal and dust. The training hall was open and there was a steady rhythm of clashing between practice blades echoing down the hall. You slowed down automatically, drawn to the sound. 

Inside were half a dozen Padawans sparring under a Knight’s supervision. Their blue sabers flickered, their movements were hesitant yet some were sharp. You leaned against the railing, watching their movement patterns. 

Strike.

Block.

Retreat.

Breathe.

It felt like a lifetime ago when you were learning that.

“Didn’t think I’d see you spectating,” a voice came from your left. 

You turned and there he was. 

Anakin stood a few meters away, his arms crossed and his robe half open like he had thrown it on in a hurry. Beside him was Obi-wan who observed the sparring matches with a faint smile. 

Rex straightened automatically. “General Skywalker. General Kenobi.”

“At ease, Captain,” Anakin said, eyeing Rex, a flicker of warmth in his tone before his eyes landed on you. “Didn’t I tell you to rest?”

“I am,” you said. “Standing still counts.”

Obi-wan chuckled under his breath. “That’s the most you’ll get out of her, Anakin. You should know that by now.”

“Unfortunately,” he said, turning back to the ring, pretending to focus. But you saw the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. 

Obi-wan folded his arms behind his back. “I was just telling Anakin that it’s good for the younglings to see commanders like you still breathing. It keeps morale up.”

You raised an eyebrow at Obi-wan. “So I’m the morale poster now?”

Rex huffed a laugh. “Could use more posters like you, ma’am, instead of the propaganda smiles.”

“She’d probably scare half the recruits into behaving,” Anakin glanced over his shoulder, his grin sharp.

“I’ll put that to the test next time when you decide to improvise mid-mission.”

He pressed a hand to his chest. “I improve to save lives.” 

Obi-wan’s mouth twitched, “if improvisation was a rank, you’d be a Jedi Master by now.” 

Anakin grinned, trying to act unbothered. “Titles are overrated anyways.” Maker, he was impossible to not look at. The way his robe hung open just enough to show his dark tunic under, his blue eyes catching the training hall light and the way his curls sat so perfectly. He had no right. 

He noticed you watched. His smirk titled just slightly and the quiet arrogance became more endearing than it should be. You averted your gaze instantly, acting as if the warmth wasn’t climbing up your neck. 

Obi-wan, either oblivious to the situation or merciful, changed the topic. “Rex, how are the men holding up?”

Rex inhaled, “still shaken, sir,” he said. “Losing Fives in a way like that hit hard. We’re…managing.”

Obi-wan hummed and the humour bled out. Your grip on the railing tightened as the clashing of the sabers below suddenly felt too loud. 

“That’s all any of us can do,” Obi-wan gently replied. He looked out into the ring where the Padawans were sparring. “Every generation has its proving ground. I just hope theirs won't be a war.”

Anakin let out a breath, “maybe they’ll finish what we can’t.”

“Optimistic as ever,” Obi-wan said sarcastically. 

“If we ever stop fighting, they’ll forget why they need to.” You said, your eyes following the Padawans who crossed sabers and the Knight calling for focus. 

Anakin turned to you, his voice quiet. “You think there’s a point where we actually get to stop?”

You shrugged. “I think there has to be. Otherwise there is no point.”

He studied you for a bit, something unreadable in his eyes but you refused to make eye contact. “You sound like Obi-wan.”

“Tragic, isn’t it?” You managed a smile. 

Obi-wan hummed, “there are worse fates.”

Rex looked between the three of you standing side by side again. He thought of Ahsoka. Her place missing. But for once, his expression eased. “Never thought I’d see you all in a room without an explosion waiting to happen.” 

Anakin cracked a half grin, “give it time.” 

It was then that Anakin’s commlink buzzed against his belt. He glanced down at it once, his smile gone and replaced with a deep frown. 

“Who is it?” You asked, all attention to him.

Anakin looked up, realising everyone was waiting for an answer. “Uh– give me one second.” He then stepped away without another word. 

You, Obi-wan and Rex watched him step away, his shoulders tense and his back turned. He then kept his voice low as possible when he answered. Whatever it was, it wasn’t routine because his posture shifted from surprise to focus to something else you couldn’t name. 

Obi-wan watched him carefully, his expression clipped with curiosity. “That’s odd. He usually can’t resist taking calls on speaker.”

You folded your arms, watching him talk to his commlink. “Maybe it’s the Council?” 

“I would have received it too,” Obi-wan stroked his beard. 

Rex shook his head. “He sounds…worried.”

The three of you stood there in an uneasy triangle, pretending not to listen yet failing miserably. Anakin’s voice was only a murmur now, the kind of voice he used when something had gone personal. He was then pacing, one hand raking through his hair. 

After a minute, he clipped his commlink to his belt and returned, his expression unreadable. 

“I have to leave,” he said. 

Obi-wan crossed his arms. “So suddenly?”

Anakin sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Orders,” he replied too quickly. Then hesitantly added, “it’s a Senate matter. Scipio.”

Obi-wan frowned. “The Banking Clan world? It sounds political.”

Anakin nodded once. His gaze flickered between the three of you before it settled on the floor. “Senator Amidala is involved.” 

The name landed on you like a weight you had thought was gone. You kept your expression still, even as your pulse thudded. 

Rex immediately sensing it might be a private matter stepped half a step back. “Should I give you privacy, sirs?”

“No,” you said quickly. “Stay.”

You didn’t have to say that, but you didn’t want anyone to think that maybe it would affect you. The flicker of discomfort in Anakin’s eyes told you everything he didn’t say. 

Obi-wan glanced between the two of you, probably catching on more than you’d like him to. 

“The Senator does seem to trust you, it makes sense.” He said to Anakin. 

Anakin awkwardly laughed, “that’s one way to put it, but the Chancellor was the one to request me.”

You hummed, finding it odd that the Chancellor would personally request Anakin. “So you’ll be off-world for how long?” You tried to sound pragmatic. 

“A few rotations. Maybe less.” 

You nodded. 

Obi-wan’s gaze flicked to you and back. “Perhaps you should look into joining the Senate rather than the Council, Anakin.” He joked, wanting to mask the tension. 

Anakin dryly laughed, “I prefer fighting than politics.”

For a moment, none of you spoke. The hum of the Temple filled the void, the Padawans had even faded into the back. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck, the weight of the departure settling on him. 

“I need to prep for take-off,” he said. “Need R2 to plot the cruise.”

Obi-wan bowed his head. “May the Force be with you.” 

“May the Force be with you, Master.” He bowed to Obi-wan and then turned to look at Rex, doing the same. “Rex.” 

Rex saluted him. 

His eyes then flickered to you. “Walk with me?”

You hesitated, suddenly feeling the pressure but Rex nudged you to go. You followed Anakin who didn’t say anything until you were far enough from Obi-wan and Rex. The sound of your boots that echoed against the marble was the only sound that filled the void between you two. 

He then finally spoke, his voice low. “She’s been arrested.”

You blinked. “What?”

He didn’t stop walking but now it was a much slower pace. “Padme. On Scipio. Something about the Banking Clan’s main vault being compromised and now she’s being accused of espionage.”

You frowned, “that—that doesn’t even sound like her.”

“It’s not,” he added quickly. “She was framed. I know it.”

Of course he did. 

You looked away from him, exhaling through your nose. “And…the Council is fine with you running off to handle it personally?”

Anakin huffed out a dry laugh. “They don’t know about it yet. The Chancellor had requested it so I assume it’ll be fine.” 

And there it was again. His reckless confidence. 

“So you’re just… leaving?” You asked flatly. 

“I have to. She called me herself. She doesn’t know who else to trust.”

You scoffed, not meaning to let the next words slip out. “And naturally, that’s you.”

He then paused in his step and turned to face you. There was a beat of silence as his eyes scanned you. The way you were frowning, how stiff your shoulders are and your arms clenched tightly against your chest. 

“It’s…not what you think,” he said finally. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” he said in almost a defensive tone. “She’s in trouble. That’s all this is.”

You forced your voice to stay calm. “Right. Just another rescue.”

He sighed, taking a step closer. “Y/n, come on.”

“What?”

“You know me better than that.”

“Exactly,” you muttered. “I know her too.”

The air between you shifted into something thick and unspoken. The memory of the dinner with Padme began to resurface and you felt even more uncomfortable with the situation. 

Anakin’s tone softened like he felt it. “It’s not about her.”

You scoffed, “you’re flying across half the galaxy for her.”

“Because she’s in danger,” he said. He ran a hand through his hair, half in frustration and half pleading. “If it were anyone else, I would do the same. You know that.”

“Yeah.”

He stepped closer to you. “You do.” His voice dropped. 

Anakin exhaled slowly, watching your face. “I owe her. Not…not in the way that you might be thinking.”

“Then in what way?”

His gaze drifted down and when he answered it wasn’t defensive anymore, just honest. “Back when you and Ahsoka left….she helped me figure out what to do. She helped me look like I had it under control. The Council, the Chancellor— they trust me more because of her. If she’s fallen into something with the Banking Clan, I can’t let them tear her apart for it. That’s all that there is.”

You studied his face, unsure if his explanation eased anything or made it worse. 

“Y/n,” he said again. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with than you right now.”

“Okay, Anakin.” You swallowed hard, trying to let it go but the uneasy feeling in your stomach stayed. 

He stepped closer again and now you had to look up to look at him.  This time his hand found your arm, fingers curling lightly around your sleeve. You still had your arms crossed but he didn’t try and uncross them, he just held on, his thumb tracing lines against your skin. 

It was barely anything but it was so him. It was both an apology and reassurance. 

“I wouldn’t be standing here trying to explain myself if I didn’t care about what you thought,” his voice had gone soft. 

You didn’t answer but your shoulders loosened up enough that he felt it. He took it as permission for his hand to slip a little lower, his fingers resting against your wrist. 

“I’m going because I have to,” he said, his eyes searching yours. Your breath caught and his thumb brushed your pulse like he was trying to memorise it. 

“For what it’s worth,” he murmured, “If I could stay, I would.”

He didn’t move until finally you let one arm drop, your hand was in his just long enough for him to exhale. He drew lazy lines across your skin, something so small but said so much. 

You sighed, “Fine. Just…go before I start arguing again.”

He then shot you a faint smirk. “You wouldn’t win.”

You breathed out a laugh and for a moment he just stood there, his hand still holding yours. His expression changed into something much softer than before and it made your chest tighten. 

“I’ll make this quick, okay? You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”

“Liar,” you said, giving him a small smile. 

He sadly smiled at you —knowing. “I’ll message you when I can.”

You nodded, “you’d better.”

He then let go of your hand, the ghost of his touch still lingering even after his hand dropped. “Try to sleep while I’m gone. You look like you haven’t.”

You rolled your eyes, “stop stalling.”

“Right.” His voice went low again. “See you soon, Y/n.”

“Good luck, Skywalker.” He started to back away but he was still watching you. 

He then grinned faintly before turning towards the hangar doors. And just like that, he was gone. 

The corridor felt quiet without him and you tried to ignore the way your hand was still tingling. You tried to not think about Scipio or the senator that was waiting for him there. 

He never stayed long enough for the silence to settle.

------- -------- -------- -------

Anakin sat in his cruiser, fiddling with the holofeeds. Blue light traced his jaw and there was faint exhaustion around his eyes. He made sure to fully depart before focusing on the transmission. The hum of the cruiser filled in the silence behind him. 

“Captain,” he said quietly. 

Rex appeared on the other line, still in partial armour and standing in a dim corridor. 

“General.”

Anakin nodded once, “you still at the Temple?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” He hesitated, glancing aside at R2 who most definitely was listening in. “Listen, this isn’t–” he stopped himself, exhaled, and then started again. “I need you to keep an eye on the Commander for me.” 

Rex lifted his brow slightly. “Y/n?”

Anakin’s mouth hung open for a moment like he regretted even speaking but he pushed through it anyways. “Yeah. She uh…I told her to take the day off, but—” he gave a humourless laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, “-we both know how she is.”

Rex’s tone softened, admiring the way Anakin was expressing his fondness under formality. “She doesn’t really take a break, sir.”

“Exactly.” Anakin shifted. “Make sure she eats something…And maybe get her out of the Temple for a while. Somewhere where she doesn’t have to think.”

“Of course, General.” He tried to not smile. 

Anakin nodded, the lines of his face softening. “Good.” He leaned back in his chair. “And…if she asks, it wasn’t my idea.”

“Wouldn’t dream of mentioning it.”

Anakin inhaled then gave him a tired smile. “Thanks, Rex. I owe you.”

“Always, sir.”

The holo flickered once before it cut into static and disappeared. 

------ ------ ------- -------

The day bled into the evening. You tried to meditate, wanting to gather your thoughts and feel the Force go quiet but it never worked. You were just constantly reminded of both Fives and Anakin. 

Your quarters were neat again. You cleaned it twice, reorganised files and folded your clothes. Anything to fill the silence. The Coruscant skyline was an amber haze, the evening settling in. Thousands of ships flew by. 

You say by the window, the floor hummed with the city traffic. The Temple didn’t feel like a sanctuary, just walls. 

The commlink on your desk blinked once. You ignored it for a few seconds before getting up to pick it up. 

“Evening, Commander.” Rex’s voice was calm and familiar. 

“Rex,” you said, surprised at how composed your voice sounded. “You’re working late.”

“Keeping the men busy keeps them out of trouble,” he replied back. There was chatter in the background, some clangs of armour too. “Thought I’d check in before the shift change.”

You smiled faintly at this, “that’s kind of you,” you said. “Not a lot of people do that anymore.”

“You’d be surprised who does,” he said, not elaborating. 

You nodded although you knew he couldn’t see it. You looked out the window, bringing your knees up to your chest. “How are the boys?” 

“Better. Not good. But better.” He said. “Jesse’s been running drills but everyone seems tired.”

“And you?” A hint of a smile tugged at your lips. 

“Still not tired, ma’am.”

You knew this was a lie through his unshakable posture and discipline. “Get some rest when you can. That’s an order.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yes, Commander.”

The conversation then drifted after that. You both talked about nothing — new batch of recruits, upcoming missions, the war. It wasn’t only about content, but rather the company of a voice that didn’t ask you to be anything but here.

At one point you heard him shift, maybe sitting down. “You eaten?”

You hesitated, your hand brought up to your mouth, rubbing your lips. “...Working on it.” 

“Does that mean no?”

“Maybe.”

Rex sighed. “You know there’s a reason why the mess keeps extra rations stocked,” he lectured you as if he was your father.

“Rex, please don’t lecture me about dinner.”

“Of course, Commander,” he said. “They did just upgrade the flavour cartridges.” 

You laughed quietly, “I’ll keep it in mind.”

There was a brief pause and you heard movement of muffled soldiers in the back. Then Rex said, almost too casually, “You could always join us later if you’re restless. The men like seeing their Commander when she’s not giving advice.” 

“Maybe,” you said, earning a real smile. 

“Think about it,” he replied, his voice laced with tiny intent. “The boys are going to 79’s later.”

You hummed, “I don’t know…”

“You’ll be with me if you’re worried.” He reassured you. 

“Alright, we’ll see.” 

The call ended soon after, your room felt less empty than it did before. You stared out at the skyline again. It looked more alive now. 

Anakin was far gone and you couldn't help but already miss his presence.

----- ---- ----- ----- ------

Coruscant’s lower levels always smelled different after rain. The ion exhaust and metal dust always made you feel nauseous, even the fried street food didn’t make you hungry. 

The sign for 79’s flickered against the wet pavement, the neon 9 was half burnt out. You paused under it, tugging your jacket closer. 

It wasn’t a Temple jacket but you did have your tag stitched onto it. It was a loose dark blue thing you had picked up. You’d thrown it over a black shirt and told yourself to relax, wanting to look civilian enough to blend in. 

When the door slid open, you were immediately hit with a wave of sound —music, chatter, clinking glasses— you felt the difference immediately from the quiet of the Jedi Temple. 

The room was a haze of dim lights and clone armour glinted under the lamps. Men already half filled the bar and on the side a band of Biths played something upbeat that couldn’t drown the undertone of grief in the air. You hadn’t been in a bar like this since your 1 year celebration with Dev. 

Rex was the first person you spotted. He was half turned towards the door like he had expected you to come. He wore no helmet tonight, just the crisp cut of blond hair paired with himself. Jesse and Kix were with him, both a drink or two ahead. 

Jesse grinned when he saw you. “Look who finally decided to join us!”

Kix gave a low whistle, “Well, well. Didn’t think Commanders were allowed to look normal.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked over to them. “This is normal.”

Jesse snorted, “not by Temple standards. The Council would issue a statement.”

“Good thing I’m not on the Council.”

Rex stood to pull a chair for you at the bar, a courtesy that felt grounding. “Evening, Commander.”

“Evening, Captain,” you sat, brushing off the drops of rain on your sleeves. “You guys look up all right.”

Kix raised his glass, “We’ve had practise.”

The table was crowded with 501st men mostly however there were a few orange-striped pauldrons among them. 212th troopers. Few of the lifted their glasses in greeting once they saw you. Boil even gave a friendly nod before returning to his conversation. 

However, Fives name still hung in the air even when no one said it. 

A Twi’lek server drifted over to you, her lekku wrapped in a scarf and her lashes curled. “What’ll it be, love?”

“Water’s fine,” you automatically said. 

“Come on, Commander.” Jesse groaned. “That’s illegal in here.”

“I-”

“Bring her a–” Kix waved the Twi’lek back, before turning to you. “Beer? Correlian spritz?”

“Fine,” you sighed. “Just something mild.”

“Make it two,” Jesse said. 

The Twi’lek winked before she disappeared under the bar table, grabbing out glasses. You leaned back as you took a slow look around. There was every flavour of the galaxy in the bar. Rodian smugglers in jackets, a Mirialan drinking something green, two humans arguing politics. The beat vibrated in your chest as you waited for your drink. 

“Never feels normal, does it?” You murmured. 

“What’s that?” Rex asked, not hearing you the first time. 

“Feels weird seeing so many different people in one place,” you said. “It’s like the war’s not real.”

He followed your gaze, his expression unreadable. “Maybe that’s how they survive it.”

Your hands drummed lightly against the table, nodding as you watched the people drink. “Maybe.”

Your drink arrived in a tall glass that was faintly the colour pink with a smell of fruit and metal. Cautiously, you brought it up to your lips and sipped before immediately coughing. “That's sweet.”

Kix laughed, “Must be their version of mild.”

Once Jesse noticed your drink had arrived, he then raised his own. “To Fives,” he said both quietly and loudly. 

The table echoed his toast. You lifted your own glass up, “To Fives.”

The first sip burned less after that. 

As time passed, more laughter blended in with the music. You found yourself talking about anything but the war. Some tried to teach a Rodian civilian the lyrics to an old clone marching song while others had debates over trivial matters. It was both loud and messy that you had forgotten which planet you were on. 

Rex didn’t talk much. A few times you had witnessed him glance your way but you had just shrugged it off as a protectiveness. He knew you don’t frequent these ends so it is only natural he would feel that sort of responsibility. 

At one point he had nudged a plate towards you. “Eat.”

You frowned down as you looked at the synth meat burger. “I’m fine,” you waved him off. 

“You skipped dinner.”

“Rex-”

“Commander.” He said sternly. 

You sighed, peeling back the wrapper and taking a bite. It felt both greasy and salt heavy, something you didn’t know you needed. 

“Happy?” You said, though you were really the happy one. 

“Getting there,” Rex said. 

You smiled around the mouthful. “You know you sound like—” you cut yourself. Maybe it was the drink that was getting to you. 

Rex caught the pause and didn’t press. He nodded before turning his attention back to his own drink. 

The hours melted together and somehow the 501st and 212th and merged into one sprawling argument that spanned three tables. Maybe their closeness is from their Generals. 

Boil leaned over to Jesse. “Didn’t think your Commander mingled with us ground rats.”

“She’s braver than you lot,” Jesse shot back. 

Boil raised an eyebrow. “No sane person volunteers to sit with 501st”

The table broke into laughter as the 212th clinked their glasses together. 

“Speaking of,” Boil says, “Kenobi still walks like he’s got a stick up his–”

“Watch it,” Rex warned. 

You felt yourself faintly flush as you heard them speak unfiltered, something you would never hear in the Temple. 

Boil grinned, “I said walks like. Didn’t say he does.”

Jesse smirked. “He’s probably meditating right now,” he began to slur his words. “He could be on fire and correct your posture.”

“That’s rich coming from someone under Skywalker,” he slammed his mug on the table, drops of beer flying. “Your General’s the reason why we can’t have nice ships.”

Kix groaned, “he’s crashed one time–”

“-Three,” Rex said without looking up. 

“Two and a half!” Jesse piped, before taking a big drink out of his cup. 

You laughed as you brought your own closer, “Four if you count the hangar.”

Boil then nudged one of the 212th troopers who had his hand on his stomach, “See even she agrees the 501st are a flight risk,” to which he snorted.

You tried to not smile but failed horribly. “You boys are so brave saying that when he’s not here.”

Kix leaned in, “what happens in 79’s stays in 79’s.”

“So does that apply with his Padawan too?” Jesse asked, grinning. “That little Togruta is sharper than any blade I’ve seen.”

“Ahsoka?” Rex perked up. “She’d wipe the floor with half of you.”

“Half?” You said. “All. She learned from the best.”

Kix passed his empty but to the Twi’lek hoping to get a refill before looking back at you. “Skywalker or you?”

“Steady yourself, soldier.” You said, half offended and joking. 

The table erupted in laughter, even Rex’s face cracked into a grin. 

That’s when the Twi’lek server appeared again, carrying a tray of blue shot glasses and Kix’s drink. She set one down in front of you with a knowing smile. 

“Courtesy of the blue-eyed one,” she said. 

You froze. “Sorry, what?”

She shrugged, “tall guy. Pretty face. Said it’s the one for the Commander.” She then winked before leaving. 

The table went quiet as they eyed the shots. 

Kix coughed into his new drink, trying to hide his grin. “Wow, Commander.”

You forced out a small laugh, feeling heat rise up to your cheeks, hating the way your soldiers were witnessing you getting hit on. “He must be confusing me with someone else.”

“Sure he is,” Jesse said with a sly smile.

“You shouldn’t touch that,”  Rex picked up one of the glasses and studied it under the dim light. 

You picked up one of the shot glasses and inspected it before putting it back down. 

“He probably saw the rank tag on my jacket and thought he’d impress a Commander.” You then carefully pushed them all to the middle of the table, “If I drink it, I’m endorsing it.”

“More for us!” One of the 212th soldiers picked up the shot, his orange hair flying. 

A few of the boys began to drink the shots as the night began to soften. Some started a story about Fives and Tup. An air of melancholy had surrounded you. 

At some point Jesse nudged you. “So… mysterious blue-eyed man aside, if a certain other blue-eyed someone walked in right now, what would you do?” He asked, the liquor definitely getting to him if he was comfortable enough to ask me that. 

“Finish my drink,” you snorted. 

“Liar!” He exclaimed. “You’d stand up so fast you’d knock the table.”

“You would probably knock it first just to see the drama,” you countered. 

Kix leaned in, the smell of booze clinging to his body. “What’s he even doing now? Sitting on some Senate balcony pretending he’s not miserable without you?”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back into your chair. “He’s fine.”

Boil leaned over the table, his eyes half-lidded. “You miss him.”

“You’re drunk.” You scoffed. “You boys talk more about Skywalker than anyone does.” You took another sip of your drink. 

Kix leaned, “Cause’ he’s the only thing that gets you flustered, Y/n.”

Your jaw dropped and you choked a little. Both at the accusation and your soldier calling you by your name. “I do not.”

“Sure,” Jesse dragged the word out. “You’re red.”

“From the drink.”

“Admit it,” Jesse teased. “You got it bad.” 

Rex shook his head, “Leave her alone. You’re going to start rumours.” He tried not to smile. 

“Please, the rumours started themselves since she came back all mad at him.” Jesse started. 

“It was the General who was mad,” Kix corrected him. 

They broke down laughing as you sat there with your face beat red. You hadn’t realised how attentive the soldiers were. It only made sense since they knew you both personally and Anakin makes no effort in hiding his feelings. 

Boil chuckled, “Come on, Commander. You have to admit it’s funny. The Jedi General runs off to play hero with a senator and his second-in-command sitting in 79’s pretending to not care.” 

You bit the inside of your lip, suddenly feeling like maybe 79’s wasn’t the place to be. You froze for a fraction too long and Jesse caught it immediately. “See? That. That right there. The blink. She cares.”

“I blinked because you guys are all annoying,” you tried to play it cool, ignoring this weird feeling you suddenly gained. 

“Sure,” Jesse leaned back in his chair. “Keep telling yourself that. No wonder he told us to drag you out tonight,” he slurred in his seat. 

It took you a few seconds to process what he said. 

Rex’s head snapped towards him so fast. “Jesse.”

“What?” He blinked, realising it was too late. “I mean— he didn’t say drag,” he scratched the back of his head. “He just –uh–suggested—”

“Jesse,” Rex repeated again, warning him.

“What do you mean?” Your brows lifted. 

His grin faltered and his eyes back to look anywhere but you. “He just said you’ve been working too hard. Needed to…y’know, take a break. Morale and all that.”

Kix buried his face into his hands and audibly groaned out loud. 

You leaned forward and forced a smile as you looked at Rex who wasn’t meeting your gaze. 

“Rex?”

“He might’ve mentioned it. Briefly.”

“Might’ve?”

You fought the urge to laugh because the whole situation was ridiculous and you really didn’t know if you should be both flattered that Anakin cared this much about you or embarrassed that he needed his soldiers to babysit you. 

“So let me get this straight,” your fingers tapped against the rim of your glass. “He couldn’t just call me himself— he had to send out half his battalion?”

“Not send,” Jesse said quickly, wanting to recover. “Deploy.” 

You genuinely laughed at this and rolled your eyes. “You are all unbelievable.”

Kix’s smile returned as he felt the slightest relief when he heard you laugh. “He just said to make sure you’re not sitting alone in your quarters staring at reports.”

You faintly smiled at this. It was a line that sounded exactly like what Anakin would say. He would say it when you were working too hard and for too long, his eyebrows creasing and his arms crossed.

Rex finally spoke again, “He just didn’t want you alone tonight, Commander. That’s all.”

“Right,” you tried to sound casual but you did hear the crack in your own voice. 

Rex caught your eye. A quiet knowing look again. And to make it worse, you caught the faintest hint of sympathy behind it. 

Because he knew how you felt the moment that Anakin had walked away to answer the call. 

And the worst part was that none of the Clones were ignorant to the situation either. 

Jesse snorted in his drink as he recalled over how dumb of a slip up he just had. 

“Alright,” Rex waved his hand, his tone half-warning. “That’s enough. Leave the Commander alone before you dig your own graves.”

“Sure,” Kix raised his mug. 

Some cheered, their laughter spilling over before everyone continued in their own conversations. You’d lost count of how long you had been there but it was long enough that you felt your voice go hoarse. 

You had managed to shake off that feeling, passing it off that Anakin was just being sweet in maybe the worst way possible by getting others involved. Nonetheless, you did enjoy your time with the boys. 

Rex was the first to stand. “Alright. Time to move before Jesse starts singing.”

Jesse mumbled something incoherent, too drunk to argue back. Kix stood up and pulled him upright, not nearly as drunk as he was. 

You shrugged your jacket on. “Captain’s right. Need to go before I throw up.”

“Stars forbid,” Kix muttered. 

Rex waited until you were steady as you walked towards the door. The air outside was cold and wetter than the heat of the bar. 

You had just walked out under the flickering lights when someone called out —”Hey, Commander.”

You turned around and faced a man you hadn’t noticed before. He was about your age with dark hair and a few days worth of stubble across his jaw. It was incredibly hard to miss his sharp ice-blue eyes. 

“Didn’t manage to give you this,” he said, holding out a slim contact chip with a short contact code encoded in blue light. It flickered faintly between his fingers and you blinked looking down at it. 

“What’s that?”

“Frequency code,” he said with a lopsided grin. “If you ever want a night out without clones breathing down your neck. 

Rex who was watching this all happen cleared his throat — loudly. 

You exhaled through your nose, wanting to refuse but the man looked so hopeful as he stared at you. You gave him a tight smile and took it from him, careful to not touch him. “Right. Thanks.”

He seemed satisfied, giving you both a lazy and drunken salute before turning away. 

You stood there for half a second, wanting to both throw it away and not making a scene, so you quietly slipped it in your pocket just hoping the moment would end. “Good timing,” you muttered, as you started to walk again.

Kix grinned, holding up Jesse. “At least he shot his shot,” he said, to which you rolled your eyes. 

Rex gave you a long side-look. “Uh-huh.” But you turned away from him before he could see your face. 

“Relax, Captain. It’s just a frequency code.”

“Just a frequency,” he echoed, a smile on his face. “You gonna tell Skywalker that too?”

You glared at him, your cheeks burning red. You then fell into a quiet silence. 

“Thanks for coming,” Rex quietly said. “They needed it. You did too.”

You smiled faintly. “Thank you, Rex.”

“Get some rest, Commander.”

Your wrist buzzed as you walked away from him. You glanced down, unsure of what to expect but the name made your stomach flip. 

Secure Direct Comm Link

[02:13] Anakin Skywalker: Still awake?

You bit down a smile, your thumb hovering over the reply icon. 

[02:14] Y/n L/n: Barely. You?

The silence stretched as you stood out in the cold. The rain had long passed but the pavement wasn’t getting any drier. 

The reply then came. 

[02:16] Anakin Skywalker: Long night

[02:17] Anakin Skywalker: Political mess

[02:17] Anakin Skywalker: You’d hate it.

You could almost hear the dry tone in your head. 

[02:18] Y/n L/n: Sounds fun

[02:18] Y/n L/n: You need to tell me later

There was another beat. You stared at the blue glow of your screen, hating the way you were smiling down at the device you used when you’re commanding.  

[02:20] Anakin Skywalker: You’d fall asleep halfway through it

You exhaled out a laugh and turned your commlink off. You would listen to anything he would say, even if it bore you. 

You stood in the city glow with a stupid grin you couldn’t get rid of. 

Somewhere out there, Anakin was planets away. Yet he still managed to pull the strings of your day, softly, invisibly.

a/n: omg a fast update guys???? who even am iiiiii

guys i acc hope u liked this chapter cuz im so unsure about how i feel.... like i feel like its too much anakin but then not enough anakin like i REALLY dont know how to feel about it so plz tell me also i wonder if anyone thinks about dev like I CONSTANTLY think about dev and im thinking about the senate dinner and then the dinner with padme and then when yn got hurt and the hospital LIKE IM ALWAYSSD THINKING ABOUT THATTT

if u are no longer interested in the story and want to be removed message me privately or comment or send an ask and i wont post it or anything and there is no shame at all !!!!

The rest of the day was a blur. Soldiers were slumped, slightly disheveled and confused as they did their job. It seemed as if Tup’s death cast a shadow on the Temple, news travelling rather fast. 

You couldn’t work. Your legs kept twitching and you felt uncomfortable in your clothes, like you had the urge to do something —anything— but there was simply nothing. You resorted to your room, slouched against the far wall of your quarters. Everytime your eyes closed, you saw Tup’s face. 

It was only when your commlink buzzed with a security code you recognised far too easily. 

You pressed the green button fast, opening the line, and just as you had thought, his voice came through.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low. “I just got back. Docked not even twenty minutes ago.”

You paused, sighing in relief. “You’re on Coruscant?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I was gonna call you anyways.”

You nodded even though he couldn’t see. “How…how was the mission?” You swallowed. 

His silence stretched for a second too long. 

“It’s over. We pulled out after Tiplar was killed.” His voice was tight. “Republic forces retreated and no one went back.”

He let out a breath. 

“We didn’t win. We didn’t lose either.” 

You bit your lip, your chest rising and falling. “Anakin–”

“Look, I’ll get back to you, okay Y/n?” His voice strained. A crack he was barely holding together. 

“O-okay-”

“-Talk soon.” And then the line cut and silent before you heard the faintest exhale from Anakin. 

------- ------- ------- ------ ------

Your commlink buzzing in your palm until it blinked dead. The walls felt like they were closing in and your legs wouldn’t stay still, pacing grooves into your carpet. 

The silence felt unbearable and your mind was full of both Tup and Tiplar. It just didn’t make sense. 

You were halfway through another lap in your room when you felt something in the air shift. You froze. A familiar ripple. A warmth that brushed your soul. 

Anakin. 

It was the way the Force would announce him before the man himself would appear. A heartbeat later, there was a quick and sharp knock on your door. 

You didn’t think, instantly moving your body to yank the door open. 

And there he was. His armour replaced with his dark tunic, his hair mussed from the shuttle, strands falling over his lashes, his eyes bruised with exhaustion. 

Without a thought, your body moved faster than your brain. You just… folded forward, colliding into him, arms clinging around his chest like he would disappear. 

“Oh, Anakin…” 

For a moment, he didn’t move. But then his hands wrapped around your neck and pulled you in further, holding you tight enough that the lines between your two blurred. He smelled like metal and ozone from hyperspace, and beneath it was something warm, something Anakin. 

He began to take steps forward with you still clinging onto him, the door automatically closing behind you both. 

Your cheek was pressed against the thick fabric of tunic and your breath was shaky. Anakin’s hand cupped the back of your head, his fingers sliding into your hair as he began to caress you, like he had in the past. 

“I-I thought… I was scared.” You croaked out. 

“Scared about what?” He whispered to you, his head tilted down to look at you against his chest. Your eyes had fluttered shut, lashes resting like shadows on your flushed skin. Your hair clung to him, tousled and damp with the weight of your emotions. 

You looked precious, like a memory he had once held too tightly and was now afraid to touch. 

“Maybe…” you sniffled, “...Maybe something would happen to you. What if it’s not just Tup?” The words began to tumble out of you before you could stop. “What if it happens again? What if it’s Rex next and you–”

Your voice cracked and you stopped yourself. 

Anakin’s hold against you tightened, almost painfully. “Not me. Not you. I won’t let that happen.” He said in a low voice, like a vow. His jaw brushed against the top of your head, and then he added, quieter. “Never you.”

His words should have soothed you. Instead, your stomach began to buzz with both warmth and danger.

You leaned back slightly, tilting your head up to look at his face. His eyes were stormy and his mouth was pressed into a line. He stopped stroking your hair as you locked eyes. He looked at you as if nothing mattered in the galaxy except you standing there in his arms. 

“I hate when you say things like that,” you murmured, a foreboding feeling creeping in your stomach. 

He huffed and a humourless smile tugged the corners of his mouth. “Then stop making me mean them.” You shook your head, finally putting your hands up to his chest, taking a step back from him, but his hand lingered at your elbow grounding you. 

For once, you weren’t a Jedi, or a Commander. He wasn’t the Council’s war hero. You were just two people in the quiet of your quarters, standing close and saying little. 

You took another step back and moved deeper in your room, curling up to the nook of the window. Your knees were now drawn up to your chest as you watched the speeders fly by in the late of the night. 

Anakin hadn’t moved from his spot, but his arms were crossed now. You were close enough that you felt the warmth of the force radiating from him. 

“Anakin,” you said, softer this time. “You don’t have to keep this all to yourself.” 

He shot you a look. “That’s all I’ve ever done.” 

You forced yourself to not roll your eyes. You looked at him, his eyes. His eyes looked raw. Like he had scrubbed them hollow. 

“Do you want water?” You asked, just to fill in the silence. 

He shook his head. “You always offer water. Even when I’ve said no every single time.” A half smile tugged his lips. 

“Maybe one day you’ll surprise me,” you shot back. 

His smile flickered, then dropped, as if he had remembered something he didn’t want to. His fingers tapped against his bicep. “I just…needed to see you. That’s all.” He said, taking a step back like he had wished he didn’t come by. 

Your chest tightened, one of your legs falling to the floor and the other now crossed. “Wait, stop. Sit with me,” your fingers brushed the empty space across from you, 

“I…don’t think-” Anakin began, his eyebrows drawn down but one look at your pleading face made him stop. The way you looked at him. He would never get enough of this feeling, The way his stomach twisted and flipped when you stared at him. 

For a second, he looked like he might argue. Then with a sigh, he crossed the small space and lowered himself onto the alcove across from you. He was close enough that the air shifted. 

You glanced at him. The way his hair fell into his eyes again, and you had the strangest urge to push it back. Instead, your hands were folded tight in your lap. 

“Everytime I close my eyes,” he murmured suddenly, looking down. “I see Tiplar fall. I see Tup’s face. And I just keep asking myself— how did I miss it? How did I not know what was coming?”

You shook your head and swallowed hard. “Anakin, no one saw it coming.”

His jaw clenched. “I should have. I mean I trained him. I should’ve noticed something. Anything.”

You leaned a little closer, your voice quieter. “You couldn’t have. Don’t carry that weight alone.”

For a moment, his eyes flicked up to yours, searching. But he didn’t answer. His hand flexed once against his knees and you caught the subtle tremor in his breath. 

Without thinking, your hand shifted slightly closer. Not touching. Just close enough that if chose to close the distance he could. 

For a few heartbeats, you both sat there in fragile silence, letting the outside ambience of Coruscant fill in the gaps between you two. 

It felt almost normal. Almost like before. 

His mouth fell open like he wanted to say something. 

That was when the comm at his side pinged with the distinct Council code ping. Both of you jerked at the sound and Anakin pushed up to his feet instantly. His shoulders squaring and his mask sliding back into place almost instantly. He was ready to move and leave, glancing over his shoulder, already braced to tell you to stay put. 

“Don’t even think about it. I’m coming.” You beat him to it. 

His eyes narrowed slightly but there was no fight in them tonight. 

He gave you one short nod. “Fine. But stay close.” Together, you both left your quarters. 

------ ------- ------ ------- ------

The corridors were long and hollow, your footsteps echoing in sync. You kept at his side, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. The force shifted with him, he was still charged and restless, but steadier now that he was close to you. 

Once the war room doors hissed open, the great circular table was already glowing the cold blue of holo-feeds. The hum of the transmitters filled the chamber that was sharp against the quiet night. 

Masters stood in attendance. Shaak Ti’s lekku draped forward, a look of concern etched onto her face and her arms folded. 

You and Anakin stepped inside, your shoulder brushed against his arm and you tried to ignore the way it felt electric. 

The holoprojector was frozen, an image of Fives mid motion. Him running in between a man and woman with a look of both urgency and fear. 

Your breath snagged. “What…What’s this?” Anakin stiffened beside you with equal confusion, his blue eyes narrowing as he stared at the frozen image. 

Shaak Ti’s gaze flickered to the both of you. “It had just happened. Fives had attempted to hurt…assassinate-” she corrected herself, “-the chancellor. He is now on the run.” 

There was then a silence that was so suffocating you didn’t know what to think or say. 

“That…it doesn’t make sense. Fives would never—” You forced the words out. 

“Yet he did,” Shaak Ti interrupted. “The Chancellor himself confirmed it. The Guard is already searching for him on every level of Coruscant.”

Anakin’s jaw tightened, his fists curling at his side. “I can’t believe Fives would try to assassinate the Chancellor,” he muttered. 

The holo flickered again, replaying the image in an endless loop. 

“ARC Trooper Fives feels he is the victim of a plot, separatist or otherwise.” Shaak Ti said as if it was a matter of fact. 

Mace Windu crossed his arms, “The Chancellor has been moved to his Senate quarters and the perimeter has been secured. However, Jedi involvement has not been requested.” 

You immediately looked over at Anakin who’s eyes moved to look at Mace. “That’s a little odd, isn’t it?” He asked in a suggestive tone. 

Master Yoda took a few steps forward, using his cane to assist him. “Hmm. Discover the truth we must.”

“If there is a plot involving the clones, we must get to the bottom of it.” Mace’s hands waved in the air as he spoke. “We will investigate quietly, uncover. Make sure this clone is not killed.” 

You always hated when those higher than you would refer to any of the troopers as just a ‘clone’. They were more than that. 

Anakin nodded his head immediately. “I’ll handle this investigation,” he looked over at Shaak Ti. “Fives was part of the 501st. If Rex and I find him, he’ll trust us.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “I’ll be joining too.” You felt all eyes on you and more specifically the way Anakin’s head jerked to look at you. His mouth fell open to protest but you beat him to it. “I was supposed to be on Kamino-” you tried your hardest to not make eye contact with Anakin, “- the least I could do is assist Skywalker on this mission.”

There was a silence as you waited for their approval, or rather, for anyone to say anything. 

It wasn’t until Master Yoda spoke. “Young L/n, join she will. Talented she is.” 

You pursed your lips together and bowed your head towards him in gratitude while Anakin mustered every bit of strength to not express his dismay. 

“Be wary. Since he removed his inhibitor chip, Fives may no longer be the man you once knew.” Shaak Ti warned, her eyes squinting at Anakin. 

—

The doors hissed shut behind you both, the tension in the room being sealed away. But the second you were out, you just knew Anakin wasn’t going to let it go quietly. 

“You just had to say something in there,” he muttered, puffing out his chest and walking fast. Too fast. His stride was basically violent as he thudded against the polished Temple floors. You practically had to jog to meet his pace as he was much taller than you. 

“What? You rather I just stand there and nod like a droid?” You tried to not roll your eyes. 

He shot you a glare over his shoulder. “Yes, Y/n. For once—yes.” 

You scoffed, finally coming at a steady pace to him. “I’m not going to stand around and do nothing, Anakin.” 

He then abruptly stopped and turned sharply, his jaw clenched and a hand that dragged through his hair. His eyes bore into yours. “You’re not going to apologise, are you?”

“Apologise?” You paused in your place. “For what? For trying to help?” 

“No,” he snapped. “For putting yourself in the middle of something you don’t understand. This isn’t like a normal mission. Fives isn’t just AWOL, he’s dangerous. You saw the holo.”

Your brows lifted. “You think he did it?” 

He paused. But the hesitation was enough. 

He then turned away and continued walking with you following beside him. 

“I think…something’s wrong with him,” he admitted, struggling to find the right wording. “And I think it might be bigger than us both. That’s exactly why I didn’t want you involved.” 

“Well,” you said, “too bad.” 

“You saw what happened with Tup. You think Fives is any safer?” His tone wasn’t sharp, but heavy with frustration that he couldn’t put away. 

“They were my men too, Anakin. Don’t act like you forgot.”

“I already lost control of this one. Not risking it again.” His hand flexed near his belt. 

“You’re not going to carry this alone. I’m terrified. That’s why I’m coming.” Your voice soft. “At least if I’m there, I can do something.”

He dragged a hand down his face, his eyes closed like he couldn’t bear your stubbornness. 

“And besides, you said it yourself. I’m not helpless. So stop treating me like I am.” 

He watched you for a beat, then exhaled and sharply pulled out his comlink. 

“Skywalker to all 501st personnel,” he spoke to it, his voice cool and commanding. “ARC Trooper CT-5555, Fives, is missing after an attempted assassination on the Chancellor. I’ve been tasked with locating him and bringing him in for questioning.” 

You watched him as he spoke. He looked every bit of General now, his voice steady, his shoulder squared, his eyes blue like a blade. Different to the softness in your room. 

“If any of you have had any contact with him or know of his whereabouts, report it immediately. Or —if you see him— tell him to return to the Temple. We will listen. That’s a promise.” 

He clicked the comlink off and tucked it back into his belt as we had finally made it to the outside courtyard. The traffic buzzed high above Coruscant's endless skyline. For a second, he stood in silence. 

You moved closer to him. “You think he’ll come back?” 

Anakin sighed. 

“I don’t know.”

--- ------ ------ ------ ------

You stood beside him, watching the sky flicker with traffic lanes and distant lights, but your mind was somewhere else. The tension between you had cooled off. You both made small talk with each other, neither of you wanting to bring up the harsh reality of the situation.

You tapped your fingers against the railing waiting for Rex to arrive as he needed to speak to ‘General Skywalker’ about something important. Most likely on Fives. 

“How long does it take for Rex to walk across the damn Temple?”

Anakin didn’t answer right away and then almost too casually, “you know, I still think about it sometimes.” 

You glanced over, raising a brow. “Think about what?”

He continued to look straight ahead at the city, smirking faintly, not making eye contact. “That bounty hunter I caught on Corellia. The one with the hood and the attitude.” 

You cleared your throat. “Don’t know who that is.”

“Really?” He said in amusement. “The one that went by Ani? She looked awfully like you.” 

You groaned. “That wasn’t me.”

“I could tell it was you from a mile away.” He teased. 

You turned to him, your arms folded. “You basically had to trip me to see.”

“You were running and fell.”

“Barely.”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips twitched up. “You didn’t even recognise me.”

“I did,” he said, finally looking at you. “I just didn’t believe it. Thought I was losing my mind.”

You snorted before looking back to the skyline, Anakin returning to do the same. He crossed his arms before sighing over dramatically. 

“Still can’t believe you went by Ani.”

You groaned. “Can we not?”

“No. We can. You stole my name and gave me a bad rep.”

You scoffed, laughing out loud. “I didn’t steal it. I borrowed it. Temporarily. Under duress.”

“Under duress?” he echoed, his eyebrows raised. 

“Dev asked me what my name was. I panicked. First thing that came to mind.” You shrugged nonchalantly. 

The corners of Anakin’s mouth twitched up. “So you thought of me.”

You rolled your eyes. “I thought of something short, forgettable and vaguely annoying.”

He scoffed, clutching his chest. “Wow, I’m hurt.”

“I mean it worked, didn’t it? Until you and Obi-wan busted us out.” You grinned. 

“Wow, I guess you’re bad luck.” He gave you a look. 

“Excuse me?” You gasped, half offended. 

He shrugged, “the off chance we’re tasked with bounty hunters, you show up with a blaster and a fake name.” 

You opened your mouth to reply but the sound of boots cut through the air.

You both turned around to see Rex approaching, his helmet under his arm and creased brows. 

The moment shifted instantly and you straightened up, the smile fading from your lips as reality settled back in. 

“I just spoke to Kix,” he began, your stomach twisting immediately. “Fives showed up at 79’s. He’s spooked. Said something about a plot…”

“He told Kix?” You took a step forward. 

“Not much,” he shook his head. “But he passed on coordinates. Wants to meet – discreetly.”

Anakin exchanged a look with you, his eyes narrowing. “Coordinates where?”

Rex handed him a datapad. “Way out in the lower levels. Off the grid.”

“Prep a transport. We’re going.” Anakin didn’t hesitate. You gave Rex a nod and moved to follow Anakin to the hangar bay.

“What do you think about Fives?” You asked, voice low. 

Anakin inhaled slowly, “I think if he believes whatever this is, it’s enough.” 

You said nothing as you boarded the cruiser, the hum of the engine growled beneath your boots. 

Whatever it was that Fives had discovered, it was unraveling fast. Something in your gut told you it wasn’t going to end clean either. 

It was an awfully quiet ride. Anakin’s leg kept bouncing in place. Rex’s fingers tapped against his helmet rhythmically. You gnawed on your nails, wanting to get out of here, to feel the air against your face.

Once you landed, you jumped out of your seat first, followed by Anakin and then Rex. The air outside wasn’t any better. It felt thick with damp, recycled city smog. 

“Well, these are the coordinates Kix gave us. Let’s hope Fives is inside.” Anakin said as he made his way to the dark warehouse. 

Rex looked down at his boots and sighed, “I hope he knows what he’s doing.” 

“I guess we’ll find out,” your hand ghosted around your belt, your saber still attached to your belt before ultimately deciding to bring out your blaster pistol. 

The warehouse was dark and smelt of oil and rust. Crates were stacked haphazardly with pieces of cardboard left on the floor. 

Anakin paused, his eyes darting around the building, trying to make out where Fives was. And then, he pulled out his lightsaber. With a sharp snap-hiss, the blue light spilled into the warehouse and cast long shadows against the walls. The familiar hum of the saber settled into your bones. 

He didn’t say a word but began to lead the way, moving forward with his blade out. Whether or not it was for defence was beside the point. 

There was no other sound other than the slow steps you took and Anakin’s saber, the silence was eerie and you swore they could hear you swallow. 

“Fives?” Anakin called out, looking around. “We’re here. Come on out, we just want to talk to you.” 

Rex had both his pistols up as we made our way deeper into the warehouse. 

And then suddenly. 

“General Skywalker, Commander L/n, thank you… Thank you for trusting me.” 

It was Fives but he was nowhere to be seen. His voice bounced throughout the walls and it made it hard to pinpoint just where he was. 

“Have you come without troops?” His voice sounded strained and tired. 

“We have.” Anakin replied. 

“Put down your weapons then!” Fives tried to command. 

“I don’t think so, Fives.” Anakin stayed weary, his back against Rex as both methodically scanned the room. 

“Please, sir. Please, I’m unarmed.” 

Anakin looked over his shoulder at both you and Rex, a silent debate between eyes if it was worth it to listen to him. But this was Fives. It wasn’t a stranger. You nodded to Anakin and then his saber fizzled out. 

“Alright, Fives. We’re unarmed now,” you called out, both you and Rex putting your handguns onto a crate nearby. 

You stepped back, your hands up in caution. 

“What are we here for, Fives?” Anakin asked, trying to make his way to where Fives’ voice came from. 

“I need your help.” 

“I know you do. We know you’re not well.” Anakin looked around the room. “It’s been rough for you these past couple of days.”

“I’m not going crazy!” He yelled out frantically, his voice coming from one side of the building to the other. “Please. Please, just…” He panted. “Just hear what I have to say.” 

You all looked over to a stack of crates to the direction where his voice came from.

“We’re here to help you, Fives. Just come with us.” Anakin made slow steps towards him. “Let's take you back to the Temple.” 

You heard a few beeps and then you barely had time to react before the air shimmered around you. A blinding wall of energy snapped you three into place, the ray shield locking you in. You reached out instinctively but the energy resisted you. 

“Fives!” You yelled out. 

Anakin’s fist collided with the shield in frustration as he realised you were trapped. 

Fives’ body emerged from behind the crates, his eyes frantic and posture slouched. “I just need you to listen to me. Please.” 

“I’m not really sure we have any other choice,” Anakin mocked, his arms crossed around his body. 

“I was framed because I know the truth!” His hands pointed to himself. “The truth about a plot…a massive deception!”

“By whom?” Rex asked. 

“Well, there’s a sinister plot in the works against the Jedi! I have proof of it.” His arms waved around in a frenzy. “I can prove that everything that I know is true beyond a shadow of a doubt!” He exclaimed. 

“Show me the evidence.” Anakin narrowed his eyes. 

“The evidence…it’s in here,” he began to point and tap against his head. “It’s in here. It’s in all of us. It’s in every clone.”

“Fives… Speak slowly. What is it?” You waved your hands down, wanting him to calm down. 

Fives locked eyes with you and inhaled and then exhaled slowly before dragging a hand down his face. “It’s an organic chip. Built into our genetic code, to make us do whatever someone wants.” He said in a much calmer tone. “Even kill the Jedi.”

“Fives…” You muttered, not sure if you could believe him when he is in this state of mind.

“It’s all in here!” His voice began to rise again. 

Anakin looked over to you with equal scepticism. 

“Let’s just get you some help first, then we can review everything,” Anakin unfolded his arms. “It’ll be okay Fives, we’ll sort this out.”

Fives gritted his teeth, his eyebrows drawn down. “You don’t believe me!”

“Fives, we are listening to you. We only want to help.” Rex tried to plead with his brother. 

Fives had a hand against his head, “How do I know you’re not tricking me? How do I know this isn’t a trap?” He threw his arms down. “The Chancellor will try to kill me! I promise you that!” 

Anakin’s eyes widened, “the Chancellor?”

“He’s in on it! I don’t know to what extent.” He began to walk around the ray shield, his head down as he needed to manage his thoughts. If you could only leave the force field, you knew you could speak to him more calmly, you would be able to get a clear and concise explanation. But not like this. Not when panic soars through his body. 

“But I know he orchestrated much of this.” He continued before looking back at his General. “He told me in the medical bay!”

“He told you? When you tried to assassinate him?” Anakin’s voice grew in equal frustration, not believing his own trooper. “You have gone too far, Fives. The Chancellor is incapable of what you claim.”

“He is!” He argued back. “I swear to you, General-” he then looked over to you, “-Commander, you have to believe me.” He pleaded with you. 

“Let’s just turn this off, Fives, and then we can talk about this properly in the Temple.” You attempted to diffuse the situation

“No!” He shook his head. “You have no idea…”

And then the doors crashed open and red armoured Coruscant Guards poured in with Commander Fox at their lead, their rifles raised towards Fives. 

“Stand down, soldier!” Fox shouted. “Get on your knees!”

Fives whipped his head around and took a few steps back. “No! No! No! Stay back!” He held his hand out in defence. His eyes darted and then locked onto the abandoned blasters on the crate. 

“Don’t do it! Don’t do it, soldier!” The Coruscant guards speedily spilled into the room and made their way towards Fives. 

“Get away from me!” He yelled, jerking and grabbing the pistol and holding it out in front of him. 

“Fives! No!” Rex called out, his eyes wide and his hands banging on the shield. 

Then a live round cracked. 

The sound deafening in the enclosed space. 

Fives grunted, his blaster clattered to the floor. 

“No!” You shouted. 

Fives staggered back as he looked down onto his chest. His armour was scorched and cracked open, smoke curled from the impact and blood seeped through his chest. He looked down at the wound like it was a betrayal. That his own brothers wouldn’t believe him. He choked as he palmed the hole in his chest, his hand now stained in red. 

There was a pause as everyone watched Fives fall to the ground. 

“Fives!” Rex yelled but there was no answer. 

“Get this ray shield off!” Anakin barked. 

Fox then pointed his blaster up and struck the device producing the shield. 

“Fives!” Rex breathed out, crouching down to him, placing his hands against his chest. “Brother..”

“Call for help! We need a medic!” Rex commanded the guards. 

Fives grunted in pain, his eyes dazed. “Rex…”

“Fives…”

“This is bigger than all of us…” He panted. “Than anything I could have imagined.” 

“I-never meant to… I only wanted to do my duty.” His breath rattled, weaker with each word. His fingers trembled as they rested on the floor.

“Brother… Stay with me Fives. Fives.” Rex shook him, his voice breaking as he begged. 

“The nightmares…they’re f-finally over…” He whispered. Fives body began to fall limp against Rex’s embrace before finally his eyes began to shut. 

“Fives?” He rasped. “No, Fives. Come on Fives.” He shook him gently at first, then harder, panic rising. “Don’t go! Stay with me.” Fives’ head lolled to the side. “Stay with me. Fives! Fives! Don’t go!” Rex was shouting now, his voice echoing off the warehouse walls. His hands trembled as he shook him again, desperate and helpless.  “No!” Rex froze. “No…” His heart broke .

The warehouse fell silent. No more shouting. 

The Guards stood frozen, their rifles lowered. Commander Fox unclipped his helmet, lifting it off with both hands. 

You saw his face. Just a soldier. A brother. His eyes were glassy and his jaw clenched, like he wanted to speak, apologise, but he couldn’t. 

None of them could.

They watched in silence as Rex’s head dipped into Fives’ chest. 

Anakin stood still beside you. His face unreadable. But you felt it. The grief buried under his eyes. He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to.

Your own chest felt carved open, he was gone. Not just gone but taken. His final moments were in panic. Silenced before his truth could breathe. You looked around at the others. Fox, the guards, even the medics who had arrived too late. No one moved. 

It wasn’t just a casualty. 

This was a loss. 

And you felt it in your bones. 

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Fives lay zipped into a plastoid body bag onto the central table, the Republic insignia printed across the sealed surface. 

You stood near the far wall, your knuckles gripping the edge of the counter so tightly that they had begun to turn white. The smell of disinfectant was sharp enough that it burned your nose. 

Rex hadn’t moved from Fives’ side. One hand was pressed over the bag, fingers splayed as if he could anchor his brother to this world through sheer will. 

Anakin sat nearby, his back to you and hands flat onto a datapad, his shoulders drawn tight beneath his tunic. He hadn’t said a word since Fives was brought into the medbay, an autopsy to be soon conducted. 

You watched as his muscles trembled, not from exhaustion but from restraint. 

You swallowed as you took a tentative step forward. “Anakin…”

His head snapped slightly, enough to show you that he had heard, but he didn’t turn. 

“Anakin,” you tried again, softer. 

“Not now,” he said bluntly. 

You bit onto your lip, his words feeling like a door slamming in your face. 

You glanced over at Rex who’s eyes flickered over to yours for a split second before looking back down at Fives, his jaw clenched. You faintly saw him give you a head shake, warning you against talking to Anakin right now. 

You couldn’t just leave him. Not while he was hurting. You needed to speak to him. 

You crossed your arms over your chest, your nails digging into your sleeves. “Anakin, why don’t you just take a break–”

“A break?” Anakin said sharply, his voice cracking. 

You froze as you watched him push himself away from the desk he was sitting at to get up to face you. His eyes weren’t angry at you but they were wild and full of distraught. 

“Two of my men,” he said, low and rough. “And you’re telling me to take a break,” he swallowed hard, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. 

Rex turned slowly, his hand leaving the body bag. “General…”

But Anakin had already began to pace the length of the room. “This happens in our own ranks and I couldn’t see it coming.” 

You stayed silent as you watched the grief unroll off of him like heat. 

“Sir, there was nothing you could—” 

“Don’t,” Anakin cut him off, his hand raking through his hair. “There’s always something. Always one more thing that could’ve been done.” 

He stopped pacing and looked down at the floor. You took the opportunity to get one bit closer to him. 

“Anakin…”

He shook his head without looking. “Just, leave me.” The words were a whisper but carried more weight than ever.

You felt your throat tighten but you understood. You understood he needed this time to himself. And that’s what you did. You let him leave the room with his gaze to the floor, not daring to look at the body. 

For a moment neither you or Rex spoke. Rex rubbed his hand over his face, his eyes rimmed red. 

“I hate leaving him alone like that,” you murmured, leaning against the wall. 

“There was nothing that you could have done, Commander.” He let out a breath. 

You slid down the wall until you were sitting on the floor, your knees drawn up. “Fives didn’t deserve this. Neither did Tup. And now–” you trailed off.

Rex’s jaw tightened. “I should’ve stopped him,” he said. “Kept him from running.” 

You rested your chin on your knees. “You tried,” you said softly. 

He shook his head. “Doesn’t feel enough.”

“You did everything you could. We both did.”

For a moment you both stayed like that, just two soldiers with the weight of a loss pressing down on them. 

Finally, Rex straightened. “They’ll want us to give a briefing soon. Better freshen up.”

You looked up at him. “I know.”

“Don’t let him tear himself apart before then,” Rex nodded. 

You managed a faint, sad smile. “I’ll try.”

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

You stood outside his door, one hand frozen in the air, your knuckles just shy of the metal surface. 

You hadn’t seen him since his outburst. Not since you stood there helpless as you watched him fall apart. 

You had showered. Changed. Let the hot water burn your skin and seep into your hair. You lay in your bed with your damp hair, staring absent mindingly at the ceiling, waiting for someone to happen. 

But you were here now. 

You convinced yourself that you were only here for the holopad. ‘He has it. I need it.’ But it most definitely wasn’t true. At least partly. You wanted to see him even if it was only his silhouette through the peaks of his door. 

Inhaling deeply, you knocked once. 

Silence. 

There was a faint noise inside before you heard metal clicking. The door hissed open all the way and you were met with a dark room, the shadows melted over every surface. R2 had opened the door for you as you watched him quickly roll back to the middle of his room. 

Almost immediately you were hit by the smell of him. The mix of leather metal polish, and something deeper, something familiar. You hadn’t been in here for years. Not since before Dev. And it felt the same yet so different. 

“Anakin?” You called out softly, stepping inside. 

No answer. 

Your eyes adjusted to the dim light. A chair pushed back at an awkward angle. Half-drunk cup of something cold. And then R2-D2 quietly chirped, his dome turning towards you. 

“Hey, R2,” you whispered, giving him a tired gentle smile. “Missed you.”

He then let out a low and sympathetic beep as if he had missed you too. 

You looked around his room. It was him. All of it. It was messy but clean. He had a spare glove discarded near his bed. A single dark jacket slung over his chair like he had just taken it off. A datapad blinking with a missed briefing. 

And then on his desk you saw it. 

A small wooden pendant — worn around the edges like it had been thumbed over a thousand times. 

You stepped closer, your fingers barely ghosting over it. It looked like it was carved, rough but careful. It was slightly uneven like it had been made by a child. 

Your thumb brushed over the marking. You didn’t know what it meant or who it was for. But you felt something in your chest twist because it mattered to him, you could feel it. 

“Why are you here?”

His voice cracked through the silence. 

You spun around and let go of it instantly. Anakin was standing in the doorway of his dim bathroom. His hair was wet, slightly curling at the ends where it clung to his forehead and neck. He was wearing a grey long-sleeved tunic that looked like he’d pulled on in a hurry. It was something soft, too civilian for him. Like he wasn’t expecting anyone to see him. 

His eyes were red. Not from the shower, but from exhaustion. From grief. From the kind of crying he wouldn’t dare to admit to anyone. 

“I-” you swallowed. “You had my datapad. I thought it’d be here.” 

A lie. Kind of. 

He didn’t say anything. Just stared at you. His blue eyes boring into yours. 

You shifted on your feet. “I-I’ll get it and go.” 

Still no answer so you turned to his desk and pretended to look for anything that resembled yours. 

“Stop, Y/n.” He said suddenly, his voice low. 

You turned back to face him, your hands clenched. 

“Anakin,” you said carefully, like if you spoke too fast or loud he would tell you to leave. “I just wanted to check on you.”

He didn’t answer right away. He walked over and sat down heavily on the edge of his bed, elbow on his knees, his gaze fixed on the floor. 

“I’m fine,” he said in a flat tone. 

You didn’t believe him. 

“I just thought…” you began, but he cut you off by shaking his head. 

“I don’t need checking on,” he muttered. “I’m not the one—”

He stopped himself. His jaw clenched and there was a flicker in his eyes that showed he barely was holding together. 

“I couldn’t save them,” he muttered. “I couldn’t save Fives.”

You said nothing as you watched him begin to fall apart. 

“I keep failing them,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on the floor, not daring to look up at you. “Every time. They trust me, and I let them die.” 

You felt frozen in place. 

“I tried to talk to him through the comms,” Anakin continued, his voice fraying. “I told him I’d find a way, that everything would be okay. I told him we’d protect him.”

He rubbed his face with his metal arm in a harsh manner. 

“I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t protect him. I walked him straight into death.”

You sat down beside him, “Anakin,” you said softly. 

“I should’ve known. I should’ve known when it started with Tup. Should’ve seen this all coming. I’m a Jedi, for kriff’s sake.”

You held your breath. 

“And what did I do?” He went on in a louder tone, still refusing to look at you. “I watched. I stood there like an idiot when they killed him. I stood there and let him die.”

“There was nothing we could do, Anakin… We were stuck.” You whispered to him. That was when your fingers reached out. Just your fingers that began to brush lightly against his sleeve. 

He didn’t pull away. 

“They were both my troopers in the early days. I watched them grow from a shiny into damn good soldiers.” His voice faltered, low and rough. 

“I know Fives,” Anakin continued. “ He wasn’t just some number or face in the ranks. He was… solid. Loyal. Calm under pressure.” He dragged a hand down his face. 

“He doesn’t just snap. Not like that.”

“And you would’ve…You would’ve noticed.” He said defeated. “You’re always watching things I miss. Patterns. Behaviour. Details. You’re better at that than me.” 

His lips pressed into a line. “You were supposed to be there. I know that. And I was the one who changed it. I overrode it because—” He choked. “-I tried to save the only thing I still feel like I have. And because of that…”

He shook his head again. “It was my fault they died. I can’t save anyone.” 

You felt your heart close in as you really looked at him. The way his shoulders had curled in and his hands had trembled. 

“I’m still that little boy from Tatooine,” he said, barely audible. “Watching my mother die and not being able to do a damn thing about it.” 

And that’s when he broke. 

His shoulders shook once. Then again. He brought both his hands up to his face, his breathing ragged. 

You leaned in and wrapped your arms around him. He didn’t fight it at first. He was tense, like he didn’t know how to accept comfort, but slowly, he leaned into you. His forehead was pressed into your shoulder and he stayed like that. 

“Hey,” you murmured, your voice so quiet that you barely heard yourself. “It’s okay, Ani…It’s okay.”

“I can’t—” His voice cracked. “I can’t save anyone.”

R2 made a small, sad noise across the room. 

Your throat closed as you rubbed gentle circles on his back, attempting to sooth him. “You tried. You did everything a man could do.” 

“That’s not enough,” he said hoarsely. “It’s never enough.” He pulled back slightly to look at you and if your heart could hurt more than it did right now, it did. 

His eyes were red and glassy. His wet lashes curled up from resting against your shoulder and his lips were parted but no words came out. Just shaky breaths. His chest rose and fell. 

You hand reached up slowly, screaming at yourself to not do it. That if you allow yourself to get this close to him, you would never recover. But you did. You brushed a strand of hair from his face away. He closed his eyes, like the touch both hurt and healed him. And then you did it again. Stroking his still wet soft brown hair away from his face. Hair that you hadn’t felt in years. You hated that you missed this feeling. The feeling of it moving through your fingers. You had watched him countless times pushing his hair back with his own hands since you came back and every single time you yearned to be the one to do it. To reach out and smooth his chaos. 

“You don’t have to carry this alone,” you said, barely above a whisper. 

His breath hitched and his trembling hands came to rest on your arms. His fingers were warm and familiar. It was only once he had pulled back was when you felt your shoulder wet with his tears. 

“I hate this war.” He whispered to you. 

“I know.” 

It wasn’t until Anakin blinked and you felt his thumb brush gently against your cheek that you felt it. 

You didn’t remember crying, or did you think you had. But something moved through you. It was like watching a star collapse in real time. 

You blinked and the wetness was still there. His thumb lingered and his gaze locked onto yours, and for a moment, he looked younger. He was Anakin. The same Padawan you grew with. A Padawan forced to be a man who hated himself for the things he couldn’t control. 

Now his fingers were on your face and yours was on his hair. You didn’t speak. You didn’t need to. 

For a heartbeat it was just the two of you. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he admitted, his voice so low you almost didn’t catch it. 

You didn’t answer. 

You couldn’t. 

There was a new pain that came from your chest, not just grief, but the past all tangled. Something that lived in you since the moment you walked away, since the moment the Council stripped you of your title, since you realised the Order had never truly seen you. Not the way he did. 

And yet…he was still a Jedi. 

He was still tethered to the very thing that broke you.

You wanted to say I love you. 

But the words fell heavy on your tongue, unmoving. Because if you said them, if you let yourself fall back onto him, it would be worse. Because nothing had changed. 

The Order forbade it. 

You stroked his hair again because you missed it. Missed him. Hated that your body remembered something that your heart had so desperately tried to forget in the year that you were gone. 

You couldn’t help but think that maybe he should’ve just left you and Dev alone. Maybe he would become a stronger Jedi than he ever would’ve been with you. 

And yet, here you were. 

Still reaching for him. 

Still soothing his world. 

Still loving him.

Even when you knew it would hurt both you and him. 

You gave him a small smile, the kind that didn’t reach your eyes but it softened the moment anyways. 

Your fingers slipped away from his hair and fell into his hands. His fingers curled instinctively around yours. 

“You should try to sleep,” you said gently. 

He didn’t respond right away, instead he looked at you, really looked at you. Like he was searching for something in your face that you weren’t ready to give. 

Then he nodded. 

You stood slowly, holding his hand for a breath longer than necessary. And then you turned and walked to the door with an ache still blooming quietly in your chest. 

He didn’t stop you, nor did you ask him to.

A/n: OOOF LONGEST ONE I WRITTEN AND I HOPEEEE U GUYSS SEE WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS and finally some fluff with anakin even tho my baby is sad and ummmm just a general inquiry… if I was to include smut maybe possibly in the future would u guys want or do u think I should just like skim over it? No spoilers just a question..we’re far from it rnLOL

if u are no longer interested in the story and want to be removed message me privately or comment or send an ask and i wont post it or anything and there is no shame at all !!!!

You sat there long after Obi-wan had gone. Your fingers absentmindedly played with the hem  of your shirt and the lights buzzed softly, casting a cool blue glow to the Archives. 

You didn’t move. 

You barely even blinked.

You inhaled sharply. A pit of anxiety began to form in your stomach. 

Obi-wan was right and it wasn’t the first time someone had warned you. You hated that part of you understood Anakin’s fear. The freedom of not being a Jedi meant you could feel these feelings with no shame, while Anakin was condemned for having such normal feelings. 

It wasn’t theoretical. 

It was natural. 

It lived in your chest, too. 

If they took him from you – if they tried to – how far would you go? 

You didn’t know. And part of you didn’t want to know. 

Maybe if you had ignored these feelings between you and Anakin long enough it would disappear. Right? It would simmer away and you both could live the most normal lives that the Order could give. He would be a renowned Jedi Master with no faults and who lived in accordance with the Jedi code. You? You would be…

--- --- --- --- ---- --- --- ----

That night you wouldn’t sleep. You say by your window, your legs curled up to your chest, looking out at Coruscant’s endless skyline. 

Every time you got close to a battlefield again, someone dragged you back. Pulled the strings. Changed the game. 

Your eyes were heavy, but your mind wouldn’t rest. 

Turning your face against your knee, you sighed, a few strands of hair falling onto your face. 

You wanted to call Anakin. 

Just for a second. 

Even if he was only in the next wing. 

Apologise for fighting him. Arguing. Yelling and screaming. Embarrassing him. 

You wanted to hear his voice again. Ask if he was okay. What he ate.  If he had slept.

Your fingers reached out to the edge of your bed, feeling for your datapad but it was empty. Nothing. 

Furrowing your eyebrows, you got up and tossed aside your pillows. Nothing. You peeled back your bed sheets. Also nothing. 

And then it hit you. 

He still had it. 

Anakin had your datapad. Must’ve walked off with it in the courtyard and lost in the commotion with Avin and the rest. Probably in a hurry to leave after Kael was there that he didn’t even notice. Or maybe he did and decided not to bring it up. 

Either way, you were flying blind. Not battlefield updates or comm logs or deployments. You couldn’t request access to missions unless you walked into the war room and used their own holopads for clearance. 

You clenched your jaw.

Well. You weren’t sleeping anyways. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The war room is almost guaranteed to be dead at this hour.

Silent and dimmed. Empty. 

But tonight, as you stepped through the durasteel doors, you froze. Dozens of clones in partial armour and Jedi in sleep-rumpled robes were engaged in their consoles that were lit in full command mode. The entire holo wall was lit with the Ringo Vinda sector. 

Cody stood near the center of the floor, his hand braced on the tactical table and his eyes locked onto a reel-time feed of the blockade. 

“What’s going on?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you made your way to Cody. 

His gaze flicked up at you. 

“Evening,” he said. 

“Cody, what did I miss?” You crossed your arms. 

He didn’t answer immediately. Just shifted slightly to the left where a flickering halo of the Ringo Vinda system was illuminated. 

“The first push has already happened. 501st moved into position hours ago and Tiplar and Tiplee reinforced the west flank. The droids are picking up their pace now.” Cody gave a nod to a spot just near the main dock. 

You scanned the field and then turned to look at him. “You don’t have word from Skywalker?” A lump formed in your throat at the mention of your ex lover. 

Cody’s jaw clenched, “he’s gone dark,” he said plainly. “He reported entry and sent one transmission but nothing since.” 

Your stomach dropped a little. 

“And Rex?”

“Same thing.” 

You folded your arms, “was this part of the plan?”

“No,” Cody said, his eyes tracking the feed. “They weren’t supposed to push this early.”

You let your arms fall to your side. There was always something about these ops that clung to the walls. But you would usually be there, fighting with your soldiers on the frontline. It was different watching it from back home. 

The longer you stared at the screen, the more that the silence turned into something else. 

The kind of quiet that settles when everyone’s waiting for bad news. 

Cody didn’t speak again. He just stood, watching the feed like it might blink first. 

Eventually, Obi-wan emerged from a corridor, his robes half fastened and his hair damp from a rushed rinse. He paused when he saw you but then gave you the same tired smile he carried now in wartime. 

“I didn’t expect you to be here,” he said gently. 

You didn’t look away from the screen. “Neither did I.” 

Obi-wan inhaled, his chest rising as he examined the screen with equal concentration. “They’ll hold. Tiplar and Tiplee are solid and Anakin’s 501st know how to improvise.” 

You nodded, your teeth gnawing at the inside of your lips. 

“I should’ve been out there,” you murmured to no one in particular. 

Obi-wan glanced at you, “You’re still recovering,” he said. “And you’re still valuable here.”

You gave him a dry laugh, “Valuable. Right.” 

Cody finally spoke, his voice low. “You’re not the only one grounded tonight.” You turned to look at him but he didn’t elaborate. He just shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then adjusted the zoom on his feed. 

Obi-wan stepped forward, “we all feel it. The not-knowing. You’re not alone in it.” 

You nodded but the ache in your chest didn’t ease. 

--- ---- --- --- --- ---- --- ---- ---

The war room has been quiet for now. Still no updates, no movement. Just the occasional clone walking in, checking the feed and then leaving again without a word. 

You were slumped against your chair, your eyes crossed and your eyelids dragging shut. A yawn slipped by before you caught it and you rubbed at your eyes lazily, hoping it would force them open. 

Obi-wan eyed you carefully, shifting his datapad to the side. “You’ll wear yourself out squinting at feeds you’re not actually reading,” he said. 

You gave him a thin smile, too tired to argue. “Suppose you would prefer me snoring when the Council updates us?”

 His brow quirks, half amused and half warning. “Just try not to snore loudly.”

You smirked at him as you brushed your hands through your hair, feeling your fingers massaging your scalp. 

Your head tipped against your hand. Sleep threatened again. 

“Commander?” Cody’s voice almost made you jump. You blinked up at him. He was holding a steaming cup. “Mess just brewed a new pot. Thought you might need it.”

You accepted it with a grateful smile. “You’re a lifesaver, Cody,” you reached out to take it from his hands and the warmth instantly seeped into your skin, the bitter smell sharp.

Obi-wan glanced over, “Careful, Cody. She might expect that kind of service every night.” 

A couple of clones near the console chuckled under their breath to which you snorted and rolled your eyes. 

“The mess is always open, Obi-wan.” You blew onto the caf before taking a cautious sip. 

Obi-wan gave a dry smile, but didn’t rise to the bait. 

Cody didn’t move right away, instead he lingered beside your chair, eyes darting between you and the feed. “You’ve been here a while. You should rest. You’re not on rotation.” 

You nodded, your fingers curled around the mug, “I know,” you murmured. “But I don’t want to miss anything.” 

“Besides, I haven’t really been sleeping well.” You brought the mug back up to your mouth. 

Obi-wan gave you a gentle yet firm look. “You won’t be any help by collapsing.” 

“Well, I have Cody to thank for,” you lifted your drink up. 

Cody’s lips twitched, almost a smile. “That’s not reassuring.” 

You smirked into your drink as the room settled again, quiet except for the hum of the consoles. 

And then–

A sharp clipped beep split the air. 

Every head in the room turned towards the holoprojector. 

“Incoming transmission—Jedi encryption,” someone whispered. 

And then he appeared. 

Anakin. 

He looked tired. Faintly bruised along his jaw. Still in his armour. His brows furrowed and his mouth set in a thin line. Strands of hair stuck damply to his temples. Even through the static, his eyes were dark and carrying an intensity that made it impossible to look anywhere else. 

The room silenced immediately as everyone listened to his message.

“This is General Skywalker,” his voice came through, rough but controlled. “Reporting incident on Ringo Vinda.”

You felt your heart drop. 

“Approximately six hours ago, during the assault on Platform 7, CT-5385 —Tup– experienced a sudden neurological episode.” 

Your body instantly stiffened. 

“In the confusion, General Tiplar was fatally shot.” 

Gasps echoed across the room. Your mouth fell open. 

“We have recovered the body. The clone has been sedated and transferred to our forward med bay. No external trauma was identified. We suspect toxin exposure. Possibly a viral agent. We’re initiating a medical transfer to Kamino.” 

There was silence in the room. Not like the one earlier. But it had weight. Fear. 

“This incident is under investigation. Until further notice, all reports regarding CT-5385 are to remain confidential as per direct order from the Jedi Council.” 

The transmission cut. 

No one spoke. 

For a moment it was like the air had been sucked out of the room. The weight of Anakin’s words pressed down and made the silence unbearable. 

A Jedi General. Dead. 

Not from Separatist fire. But from one of our own. 

“That’s…” One of the clones broke off, his jaw tight. “That can’t be right.” 

The murmuring rose between the clones in the back of the room. Some shared sharp looks with each other and others palmed the face in agitation. 

One voice cut through: “Sir, CTs don’t just…snap. Not like that.” 

Cody’s gaze hardened, “Whatever happened to Tup wasn’t by choice.” His fingers now flexed against his helmet. “He would never do that.” 

“Still,” another clone muttered. “General Skywalker would never lie. He turned his rifle on a Jedi.”

Obi-wan raised his hand just enough that the voices began to quiet down. “This seems to be an isolated incident. We’ll know more once Kamino runs their tests. Until then, speculation helps no one.”

The clone nodded at him and the room settled into an uneasy quiet. 

The caf began to cool between your palms. You sat frozen as you tried to process what Anakin had just announced. You’d seen clones stumble, break and dissociate in battle, but this? It was almost impossible in their genetic coding to attack a Jedi. It didn’t seem possible. 

Your mouth went dry and you couldn’t shake the image of Anakin’s face, his hardened stare and the crack in his voice when he said her name. 

Time dragged after that. Useless updates. Someone had set another pot of caf down on the side console but no one moved for it. The silence was interrupted by only the occasional shift of armour plates or the blast doors hissing open and shut. 

Nearly an hour later and you couldn’t shake off what had just happened. Neither did the soldiers but they continued on with their duties at a slower and quieter pace. Obi-wan had left to the Council, presumably over to discuss what had just happened. 

You had tried to do the same —occupy yourself— but your leg kept bouncing under the table and each second stretched thin. Anakin’s words looped in your head so much so that you began to feel nauseous.

Enough. 

You pushed yourself off the console and your chair legs scraped against the floor. You rose, exhaling hard through your chest. 

Cody’s eyes snapped to you immediately. You held his for a beat before speaking. “Can you open a private line on the projector?” 

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The private communication room buzzed with static as you keyed in specific coordinates. The panel glowed gold blue and flickered in the dim light. 

You shouldn’t necessarily be here. It wasn’t a room to be used for personal use but Cody, soft and reluctant —still loyal— had guided you to the room and helped set up the Holo transmitter. 

“You didn’t hear anything from me,” he grunted, giving you a faint look of guilt. You nodded and thanked him profusely. He left the room and the doors hissed shut behind him. You made your way to the door‘s keypad and disabled it, the room now locked.

Your heart was in your throat and your mouth was dry. You had no idea where Anakin was. Kamino? Airspace? Ringo Vinda? 

The connection then clicked. 

The Holostatic shimmered and the blue figure of Anakin Skywalker materialised in front of you. His arms were crossed and his cloak was off, just his armour and dark gloves were on. Sweat sticked to his collar and his hair was a mess like he had run his fingers through it too many times. 

He wasn’t looking at you. Not at first. 

You stared for a second, lips slightly parted. You hadn’t realised how much you missed him until you saw him. 

Then his head lifted and his eyes found yours. 

His entire posture shifted. 

“Y/n?” His voice was low, soft, surprised. 

“Hey.” You stood straighter. 

“What’re you—where are you calling from?” He took a step forward like it would bring him closer to you. “Are you in the Temple?”

“I had to ask Cody for some help,” you replied, your voice tight. “You still have my datapad.”

A beat passed. He blinked. “Right.”

Then, quickly: “I didn’t read anything.”

You rolled your eyes, “I didn’t ask if you did.” You crossed your arms, mirroring him. “Why didn’t you tell me about this mission?” 

Anakin’s jaw tightened and he looked away. 

“Anakin.” 

You gave him a warning look. He then blew out a slow breath. “Because I didn’t want you involved.”

“They’re my soldiers too.”

“They’re mine first.”

Your stomach twisted, “this isn’t a competition, Anakin.” You let out a humourless laugh. “It’s not how it works, I am supposed to be deployed with you from now on.” 

“It’s exactly how it works. As General, I get to decide who comes with me and who doesn’t,” He said, taking advantage of his authority over you. 

“Anakin…”

“You haven’t slept. You look like hell. I wasn’t going to let you join this battle. It wasn’t planned either.”

You subconsciously patted your hair flat. ‘Look like hell?’ 

“Maybe I could’ve helped…” You said quietly, not having nearly enough energy to argue back with him. 

“Do you know what happened to her?” He stepped closer to the projector. You could now see the pulse in his neck and the bags under his eyes. 

“What?”

“Tiplar,” he added sharply. “Do you even know how she died?”

You nodded. “Shot…by one of ours.” You said quietly. 

Anakin nodded in agreement. “Shot in the middle of combat by a soldier she trusted. A soldier I trained.” His voice dropped. “And no one knows why. I brought him back myself. He just kept twitching in his bed, whispering things like he was possessed.” Anakin looked down at the ground. 

“That could’ve happened to you.” He then looked up. 

The great General Skywalker, the Hero with No Fear, suddenly looked like a boy who was afraid of saying the wrong things. 

“Anakin, I’m getting tired of this please.” You begged. “You think keeping me safe means keeping me small.” 

“I think–” he stopped. And then swallowed hard. “I know that losing you would destroy me. Is that what you want to hear?”

“You don’t think that I feel the same?” You murmured. Taking a step closer to the projector. “Tell me what’s going on. Take me with you. Please.” 

For a second you thought he might give in. His mouth parted and his eyes were flicking down like he was going to confess everything. 

But then his spine straightened. And his walls went back up. 

“You should get some rest,” he said stiffly. “There’s nothing more to know right now.” 

“You’re doing it again.”

“I’m keeping you alive.”

His hand then moved to disconnect the call. 

“Anakin–!” 

His image lingered for a beat longer, his eyes looking at you with guilt. 

“I’ll message you when I can.”

Static. 

You didn’t realise your fingernails were digging into your palms until you felt the sting. You stared at the empty comm feed for a moment longer, your heart sinking in your chest. 

“Stang,” you muttered, your sweaty palms pushed your hair out of your face. 

But before you could fully leave the panel and turn the console off, the projector flared again. 

The blue light returned and so did the figure. 

Anakin. 

His eyebrows were furrowed, his face full of conflict. His hand clenched and unclenched at his side. A long silence before he said anything. 

“I didn’t want it to end like that.” 

“What–” you blinked. 

“I shouldn’t have cut the line,” he said, his voice low. “I just…panicked.”

His shoulders slumped as he looked at you with guilt. “I know…you’re not helpless,” he began. “You’re one of the best soldiers I’ve ever seen. Jedi or not. Remember Christophis? Or the Citadel?”

Your lips twitched. 

“I didn’t change your assignment because I thought you were weak,” he said. “I changed it because…because I couldn’t bear the idea that something might happen to you. Losing Tiplar only confirmed my fears.” He sighed. “I know what it looks like when someone doesn’t come back. I’ve felt it.” 

“Anakin…” 

“And…I’m sorry.” He murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. 

You stared at him. These days he would never apologise to you like that. Not unless it meant something. 

“I should’ve told you why I did it sooner. I’m sorry,” he repeated like it burned in his throat. “I know I make dumb choices sometimes. Reckless ones. This wasn’t dumb. It was just…selfish.” 

You inhaled, leaning onto the console, your voice quieter. “I’m sorry for the…” you cleared your throat in awkwardness. “...Courtyard. I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.” 

His features softened a little. “You didn’t embarrass me.” 

You looked up at him skeptical.  

He then half smiled, a chuckle leaving his chest. “Okay. Maybe a little. But because you were right.”

You would be lying if you said that hearing his laugh didn’t form butterflies in your stomach, had you not heard it in ages. 

He looked down, his thumb rubbing his wrist guard like he couldn’t stay still. Like he was feeling nervous just talking to you.  “You were right to call me out. I treat you like you’re one of us until it stops suiting me. And that’s not fair. You are one of us.”

He met your gaze again. “But you’re also you. You matter to me more than a lot of people and that's a truth I don’t know how to deal with. I act like a dictator and I cut you out of things or override your assignments–” 

You waved your hand down, “I know, I know.” You cracked the faintest smile. And for the first time since you came back, it didn’t feel like there was a chasm between you. 

There was a pause where both of you said nothing, but just stared at each other. And then his lips curved up. “I bet you flipped half your room looking for that datapad.”

You huffed, “I did.” 

“I didn’t mean to steal it. Just…wanted a reason to make sure you’d find me.” He shot you a coy smile, his dark brown falling beside his eyes. 

“That’s insane, Anakin.” Your brows lifted. 

“It worked, didn’t it?”

You shook your head but your smile betrayed you. 

There was a pause again. Not uncomfortable but heavy. Like neither of you want to hang up but the way and chaos between plants made every second feel expensive. 

He then shifted slightly, his voice dropping lower. “I should go,” he reluctantly said. “Before Rex yells at me again for disappearing on him.”

“Stay in the Temple, Okay? Don’t run off into the frontlines or pick another fight with the Council. Not until I’m back.”

“I can’t promise you that,” you teased softly. 

He shot you a lopsided smirk, “of course not.”

Even in the blue haze, there was a flicker of affection behind his words. He didn’t tell you he loved you, or that he missed you or that he wanted to rekindle your love again. He told you through warnings, in his protectiveness, in the stupid act of keeping your datapad so you would chase him down. 

It wasn’t ideal. 

But it was Anakin. 

“Be careful, Ani.” You said. 

“You too.”

And when the call ended, it didn’t feel like a goodbye. But rather see you soon. Just a pause. One of many. 

For a few seconds, you just stood there. There was something stirring in your chest. A heat that pulsed low in your stomach, an ache that wouldn’t name itself. You pressed your hand there absently, and then finally turned away. 

There was no point in sitting there pretending that you weren’t thinking about him.

So you slipped out. Past the war room. Through the corridor. Past the auto doors. You followed the muffled laughter that echoed down the hall and distant thump of music that definitely wasn’t supposed to be playing. 

When you finally reached the barracks, the blast doors slid open with a hiss-ktchk and then the scent hit first. 

Caf, sweat, plastoid polish and some questionable smell from food. Armour pieces were stacked against bunks. Voices overlapped. A holo-chess table glitched in the center, mid-match. 

And then they noticed you. 

“General on deck,” one clone muttered purely out of habit. 

There was a collective shift where a few clones straightened up, some nudged the other. A crate was pushed out of the way and helmets were nudged off laps. Boots planted firmer. 

You gave them a look and waved your hands down as the saluting soldiers. “Please don’t. I’m not here to inspect your locker rooms.” You said quietly, folding your arms. 

“Could’ve at least warned us,” a voice came from the back to which you snorted.  

You rolled your eyes and looked over at Cody who was seated at the end of a bunk nearby. His helmet was left on the floor as he read off his datapad, his expression neutral as ever. 

“Cody,” you nodded at him. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said plainly but with the faintest flick of amusement. “Maybe in the Archives, planning your next infiltration.”

“Archives are too quiet.” You dragged a crate over and sat on it, elbows on your knees. “Besides, figured I’d check up on you guys after the…” You trailed off, unsure if you should bring up Tup. 

The room’s buzz didn’t stop but a few clones nearby looked at you with an almost unease. 

Boil let out a breath. “To be fair, nobody knows what's happening with him.” 

“He was in my rotation once. Always followed regs. Always.” Captain Gregor said, his head dipped. “This whole thing feels…off. 

“Whatever it is,” said Longshot, “you won’t catch me walking in front of anyone holding a DC-17 this week.” 

You chuckled, “great. Exactly what we want. Paranoia and bad jokes.” 

“Relax, Commander,” Boil grinned. “No one’s aiming at you.”

You fought a smile and leaned back on your hands. Although they joked, the unease was real. The barracks didn’t hum the same, it was as if someone cold edged the air. 

“He’s still alive,” you reminded the few clones who were talking to you. “Still on his way to Kamino. We don’t know anything yet so until we do…” your eyes swept the room, “we don’t treat him like he's a ghost.” 

Cody nodded in agreement, “copy that.” 

“I miss the days when the worst we would worry about was the soggy rations,” Trapper muttered. 

“We still do.” Boil joked. 

Few of the clones continued to banter with each other, the tension finally cracking into real laughter. You sat there and watched the ridiculousness continue. Some clones continued to play their card games, others working out, some resting. 

You leaned towards Cody, lowering your voice so only he heard you. “Seriously though. You alright?”

He didn’t look up from his datapad. “Yeah,” he exhaled, “will you?”

You thought of Anakin, the way his words lingered and the heat that pulsed in your chest. 

“Yeah.” 

The conversation drifted and it finally felt like the long day started to drag on you like a weight around your shoulders. 

“Not to be rude, Commander.” A clone passed by and gave you a long look. “But you look like hell.”

“Heard that twice today” you raised a brow. 

“Did you even sleep?”

You didn’t answer, just rubbed at your eyes tirelessly and stood up on your stiff feet. You walked over to an empty bunk in the back corner without thinking and sat on the edge of it. 

No one stopped you but a few curious eyes flickered over. 

You sat back and pulled off your boots, shrugged off your jacket and set it to the side so you were only in a plain white tee. 

“You planning on camping with us tonight?” Boil asked, bringing up a fresh caf to his mouth.

“I’m not a Jedi,” you mumbled. “I don’t need a special tower or room to sleep in.” 

“You don’t?” A clone asked. 

“Please,” you snorted. “Besides, just need to sit down. My legs hate me.” 

A few snickers floated around the bunks. 

“You’re always welcome.” Cody said simply, shifting closer to you at some point, watching as your eyes began to flutter shut.

You didn’t mean to rest your head back against the wall of the bunk or for your hands to drop into your lap. He watched as your posture grew heavier as Clones continued to chat around you and your responses became minimal. You definitely didn’t mean to blink slowly and then not open your eyes again. 

It was just the warmth of the barracks, the laughter and the smell of caf that hit you all at once. Like a blanket of white noise. 

It wasn’t like the cold silence of your quarters or the lonely hum of your fan. 

It was different. 

 He didn’t say more, just stepped closer and reached for the edge of your  thin blanket, tugging it gently over your shoulders like he had done this for his troopers a dozen times. 

“Get some rest, Commander.” Cody then dimmed the nearest wall light.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

You woke up with a sharp inhale. 

For a moment in time, you didn’t know where you were. The ceiling above wasn’t soft and arched like your quarters, instead it was made of durasteel and grey. There was no Temple hum, just silence. 

You sat up fast, your blanket falling from your chest and your heart pounding. 

“Kriff…” 

Your own voice echoed in the near-empty room. 

Bunks were deserted and crates were stacked neatly. The armour pieces that were once clattered were now either shelved or gone. 

You were alone. Totally, completely, embarrassingly alone in the middle of the barracks. Your boots off, your jacket off and wrapped up in a blanket as if you were some overworked cadet. 

You ran your hands down your face in shame. The lack of sleep from yesterday had finally taken a toll on you.

Your gaze dropped to the edge of your bunk. A crumpled piece of flimsiplast neatly folded and tucked beside your jacket. You reached down and picked it up, opening it with suspicion. 

Commander, you snore. Loud. 

Didn’t have the heart to wake you, though. 

You’re lucky Cody likes you, otherwise I’d be testing out my marker skills. 

— Boil 

You groaned as your cheeks flushed red. “I’m going to kill him.” You stood up too quickly, nearly falling as the blood rushed to your head. You shoved your boots and put on your jacket, running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to not look like you’d slept in a bunk bed. 

Still, you overslept. Badly. 

You rushed out and tore through the Temple halls, wanting to find Obi-wan and check on Tup’s progress. Weaving through the corridors, you froze at the Council sealed doors. You paused. Obi-wan was already in a meeting. You don’t know why it set your heart pounding faster but it did. 

Your throat tightened and you waited outside the doors, eyes scanning every golden trim. It was times like this where you wished you were allowed to use the Force again, you could just stretch out your hands and will the doors to open. But you couldn’t, despite everything you were no longer a Knight.

A full twelve minutes passed before the doors opened again. The first was Mace Windu. A stoic look on his face. And then Master Plo behind him, silent. And now Master Yoda, his ears dipped low. 

And lastly, Obi-wan. His eyebrows were drawn tight together and his shoulders looked years heavier. 

“Obi-wan,” you said quickly, stepping in front of him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He stopped, his eyes meeting your. He let out a long breath. 

“Tup is dead.”

You blinked, taking a step back, you shook your head. 

“What?”

“He passed away shortly after a procedure.” His voice was quieter now. “Fives had removed what appeared to be a chip. The Kaminoans weren’t pleased.” 

“What? I-I don’t get it? Why weren’t they pleased.” 

“They are claiming they needed to terminate him to preserve the integrity of the brain for study.” He continued, his voice taut. “They had refused our suggestion of continuing a Level 5 atomic scan. Either way, he passed…and we still don’t know what caused this.”

Your throat tightened. 

“W-What’s the Council going to do?”

Obi-wan ran a hand down his beard. “The Kaminoans want to perform a full psych evaluation on Fives next, Master Ti will be there overseeing it…But we do want him to be brought back to Coruscant.” 

“But why?” You asked, your voice quiet. “Why would he shoot a Jedi? Why Tiplar?”

Obi-wan didn’t answer straight away, he was unsure himself. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted. That frightened you more than anything. Obi-wan who was always composed and knowledgeable looked just as confused as you are. 

You leaned against the wall. “He would never, never do that. And the Kaminoans? We didn’t even know they had chips.” You pressed your palm to your forehead, trying to ease the pressure building up. 

“They’re calling it a rare mutation,” he said. “But they were visibly agitated when Fives demanded an autopsy. It’s only because Master Ti was there that we were even informed of the chip’s existence at all.”

You sighed, biting the inside of your lips. It suddenly clicked to you. Kamino. 

You were supposed to be stationed there. That was your assignment before Anakin had removed it. You were there as support. Your primary role was to observe and ensure things were running smoothly and in accordance to the agreements between the Jedi and the Kaminoans. The mission was given to you out of pity. The Council weren’t sure on what to give you. 

If you had been there… Fives and Tup would arrive at the same time. You could’ve helped. You could’ve done something. Maybe things would be different. 

“What is it?” Obi-wan asked, his eyes studying your face. 

You shook your head, tucking hair behind your ear. “I- Nothing.” 

Obi-wan didn’t reply, he just waited for you to continue talking but you didn’t want to bring it up. 

“Thank you for telling me, Obi-wan.” You whispered. 

Obi-wan looked like he wanted to say more, but the weight of the meeting must’ve taken a heavy toll on you. 

“May the Force be with you,” he gave you a small nod. 

You swallowed, “May the Force be with you, Master.” He then turned and walked down the hall, his robes flowing behind him. 

A/n: CHATT WAS THIS LIKE BORING???? ok yall i think u can tell anakin and y/n r slowlyyyy gettting there hehe thats cuz were not at the start of season 6 and half the season has nothing to do with him so then its only season 7 butttt ill be adding my more additional missions and stuff and drama so ofc its less boring and i will be now making a google docs so yall can read the whole story and cross posting on ao3 !!

if u are no longer interested in the story and want to be removed message me privately or comment or send an ask and i wont post it or anything and there is no shame at all !!!!

That night you didn’t sleep. Constantly tossing and turning. The night was longer than any other and you waited for the morning light to break in through your curtains. You felt neither warm nor cold. You would slip into a sweater, only to then rip it off of you in heat. 

You found yourself scrolling through your holopad mindlessly. Your hands dragging along the screen. Only to then shove it under your pillow and force your eyes shut. But your mind kept racing. 

Your fingers moved without thought, trailing across your lips where his warmth was. The ghost of his breath against you. The tender feeling between knowing something was there and knowing it's gone. 

Anakin. 

Anakin Skywalker. 

He was there. He really was there. He yearned for you. He had longed to taste your lips. A taste he hadn’t had in far too long. It tasted as sweet as when your name rolled off his tongue. 

“Y/n… Y/n…”

Anakin found himself that night whispering your name. If he said it loud enough, it almost felt like he was talking to you. If he turned his head to his side, he would find you there under his covers. Your eyes closed. Your chest rising and lowering in rhythmic patterns. 

Anakin needed you. He needed you the most when he realised you weren’t in your room. You weren’t in his sight. You weren’t by his side. And it terrified him. In the past, you would share your mission itinerary with each other without a second thought, you would tell him you were leaving days before you left, he would call you to check up on you. He was by you. But now? Now he was left in the dark. It felt like a part of his being had separated from and wandered off. And he needed to find you. He needed to attach himself to you. He wouldn’t lose you again. Not like he lost his mother. Not like he lost Ahsoka. And never, never would he lose you again. 

-------- ------- -------- ------- -------- ------

You dozed in silvers and woke in jolts. Every time you closed your eyes, it wouldn’t go dark, rather you would see him. You gave up pretending and swung your legs out of bed. 

Your ribs complained but it wasn’t anything dramatic anymore, just a dull ache when you reached wrong. While walking to your bathroom, you pulled your shirt off and peeled the bacta patches, throwing them in the bin. You showered, hot and fast, standing in the vapour until you could finally breathe without tasting last night. 

The mirror was unkind. Bags under your eyes from your distorted sleeps ever since you arrived back ‘home’. If you could even call it home now. Your eyes were red at the water line. A creased pressed into your cheek from your pillow. You exhaled. Patting your face dry with a fresh towel, you pulled your hair back, tight and clean. 

Uniform today. Black compression top with a slate-gray field jacket. Black cargo pants, cleaned boots. Your belt and holster. A sweep under your eyes to mask the obvious damage, a neutral balm to your mouth so it wouldn’t look bitten. 

You clipped your datapad to your belt and left your room. The temple bled with blue light. The corridor was empty but somewhere above the bell chimed and sounded for morning meditations. The irony wasn’t lost on you. 

Down two flights and across the south wing, the Temple began to wake up. Droids along baseboards, a pair of padawans whisper-fighting about a lost training saber, a Knight you didn’t know with a braid tucked behind his ear and a look like he too had argued with the night. He glanced at you and then away. 

In the lift, you tapped your knuckles against your thigh and watched the floors count down through your reflection. The door opened to the mess hall and the smell hit, the industrial caf, the eggs, the tang of ration warmers. You missed Ahsoka. 

The mess wasn’t crowded yet, a couple of clones chatted on the left and some nursed their cafs. 

You walked over to the line, the mess attendant who traded his armour for an apron clocked you and tipped his chin. 

“Commander,” he said, “the usual?”

You looked down at the food and suddenly decided against it, remembering the nut paste. “I might…I think I’ll just get a caf,” you gave him a tight lipped smile. He nodded and you walked over to the caf station. You tossed two sugar tabs into your mug and you then took the far window booth. 

You didn’t eat because the day wouldn’t care if you did. 

By late morning, the Temple turned from blue to white. You spent the next hours on busy work that didn’t feel busy. Requisition reviews in the south armoury, check-ins with tech about calls being ghosted.

You then buried yourself in the archives huddled over paperwork that blurred into itself. Inventory logs and mission debriefs. The kind of work that didn’t ask questions and didn’t care who you used to be. 

A padawan was sitting on one of the desks, her robes rumpled and one boot untired. She was messaging manually fast, her little fingers flying over the console in a way that suggested urgency. A droid must’ve broken down earlier and they decided a little Twi’lek would be faster. You watched her absentmindedly, the rhythm of her hands with the low hum of the chamber. She didn’t notice you at first. 

She reeked of innocence. The war hadn’t touched her. You watched her and your chest pulled tight. There was a time when you would’ve been the one typing away, eager to prove that you could move faster than the droid. And then she glanced up, startled, like she had just been caught cheating on a test. 

“Can I, uh- help you?” She sweetly asked. 

“I’m fine,” you said. “Bad habit.” Nodding at her. 

“Mine too,” she replied, giving you a small habit before ducking back into work. 

You turned away from her before you could let yourself settle in the comfort of the Temple. Packing up your files, you held them against your chest and began to leave the archives. You couldn’t linger. The quiet had begun to feel too familiar and you knew better than to trust. 

The walk to the war room was long enough to think about every possible way Anakin could jump out of the doors, leaving you feeling uneasy. 

The war room was alive with movement, clone officers tapping at datapads and projectors spitting our star maps in blue light. 

“Y/n.” 

You whipped your head around to see Obi-wan standing with a smooth, polite, and always warm smile. 

“General Kenobi.” You managed something resembling his own smile. 

He raised an eyebrow, catching it instantly. “General? Unusual for you.”

“Breakfast,” you shrugged, pulling the paperwork closer to your chest. “Terrible this morning.”

“Ah,” Obi-wan hummed knowingly, robes swaying as he came to stand beside you. “So then it’s the food's fault that you're clearly avoiding eye contact with…every sentient being in the room.” 

You inhaled sharply through your nose, keeping your eyes fixated on the holomap. “I’m fine.”

“Would you like me to pretend that I believe you?”

“Yes,” you muttered. “That’d be great, thanks.” 

He chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. About to tease you further when a voice cut across the room. 

“Rex, double the perimeter scans,” a sharp and commanding, impossible to mistake voice rang out. “If the last report was accurate, we’re not taking chances again.” 

You held your breath before your brain could tell it not to. You kept your eyes focused on the glowing blue lanes like they contained every answer in the universe. 

Then boots approaching. 

“Obi-wan,” Anakin’s voice slid into the conversation effortlessly, like it belonged there and nothing had happened in your quarters twelve hours ago. 

Obi-wan looked up from the map and greeted him with mild surprise. “Anakin. I was beginning to think that the Chancellor has you chained to his office today.” 

“No,” Anakin replied, easy, neutral. “Briefing got pushed. Guess I’m yours for the next few hours.”

“Force help,” Obi-wan muttered dryly, leaning forward to study the holotable again. 

Anakin’s mouth tugged at the corner, a flicker of amusement, before his expression smoothened. He didn’t so much as glance at you. 

He stepped up at the table, his voice calm like war bored him. “Things are shifting, we’ll need to adjust.” 

He gestured towards the glowing map. 

Obi-wan nodded, “I was thinking the same, but it leaves us exposed elsewhere.”

They kept talking- adjustments and reinforcements. You could’ve corrected some of it, maybe even offered better options. But the words stayed locked behind your teeth. 

Obi-wan glanced your way a few times, maybe out of habit but his brow kept lifting slightly, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. You didn’t either. 

He then began to straighten his robes, preparing to leave before giving you a gentle pat on the arm. “Try not to brood in silence, Commander. You’ll give the clones ideas.” 

You managed a thin smile, “no promises.” 

He left, his robes trailing behind him. 

And then it was quiet again. 

You cleared your throat in awkward silence, gazing at your shoes. You felt Anakin, the weight of his presence tugging against your ribs. You didn’t want to meet his eyes, but the force was burning. 

He leaned against the table, his arms crossed, his jaw sharp and tight under the blue light. Hair tousled from the constant push-pull of his hand raking through it. 

“Did you sleep last night?” He asked suddenly, his tone lower and pitched like he knew what he was doing. 

You froze and then scoffed softly. “That’s… none of your business.” 

“Didn’t answer the question.”

“I don’t need to.” 

His mouth curved, “You look like you didn’t.”

You laughed bitterly, bringing one of your hands to tuck away the stray strands of hair behind your ear. “Observant as always, Skywalker.” Your voice melted with sarcasm. 

His face turned neutral again. His eyes boring into yours, as if daring you to pretend last night didn’t exist too. 

Before either of you broke, someone called his name from across the room. He straightened and pushed himself off the table without another word. He brushed past you enough that you felt the heat of him lingering. 

And like that, he was gone. Leaving you with the silent reminder that pretending didn’t make anything disappear. 

------ ------- ------- -------- -------

The war room thinned out and the earlier rush bled into the Temple’s routine traffic. 

You were still at the holotable, sitting and arms folded loosely, trying to looks busier than you were. 

In an attempt to distract yourself, you unclipped your datapad and thumbed through your notifications, cycling between briefings, rosters and old assignment. 

But your Kamino assignment was gone. 

You frowned, tapping onto the search bar and keyed in your clearance codes manually. 

Nothing. 

You frowned harder. Backtracking two menus deeper, cross checking filters, scrolling through your notifications, yet still. Nothing. 

You knew you weren’t imaging things. You had spoken about it with both Fives and Kix at the mess hall. 

You blinked and sat up straighter, the datapad blinked back unchangingly, unhelpful. 

This wasn’t the first time. This was the what? Second? Third? 

You searched through your new mission logs but finally results flickers up in silver font. 

NO ACTIVE DEPLOYMENT RECORDS FOUND 

You stared at your screen, jaw slack. 

Okay. 

Fine. 

Your grip tightened around your datapad until the edges dug into your palm. You locked it with a sharp tap and pushed away from the table, muttering a small “Excuse me” to the ones who glanced up as you passed. 

You didn’t stop until you were at the Council chamber doors, breath tight and sharp in your chest. 

The curved doors parted, spilling filtered light onto the polished floor. You stepped into the chamber’s vast silence, the weight of the room settling instantly on your shoulders. 

Mace Windu’s gaze settled on you first, expression unreadable. “Commander. This session isn’t open.”

“Then close it behind me,” you shot back, marching forward until you reached the center of the room. Your boots echoed against the stone. You held up your datapad, projecting its empty queue into the space above your palm. 

“I want to know why mission records keep vanishing,” you said flatly. “First the scouting op and now Kamino? Assignments don’t just erase themselves without notification, so what is going on?”

There was a pause. A slice that stretched slightly too long. The council exchanged looks. A raised brow from Shaak Ti. The flicker of Plo Koon’s visor towards Mace. Yoda’s ears shifting ever so slightly. And your stomach twisted. 

“Your deployment to Kamino,” Mace began carefully, “was… dismissed.” 

“Dismissed?” 

“Correct,” he said. “Filed as a voluntary withdrawal. Submitted on your behalf.” 

You blinked. Then humorlessly laughed. “I didn’t withdraw.”

Ki-Adi-Mundi leaned forward, “we had reason to believe you did. The request came through official channels.” 

“I didn’t submit anything,” you snapped, heat creeping up your neck. “So either someone is forging my name or this Council is signing off on my assignments and having me do paperwork.”

Mace’s face sharpened faintly at the edge in your tone. 

Plo Koon’s filtered voice broke the stalemate. “General Skywalker’s clearance ID authorised the dismissal,” he said factually. “We confirmed with him before finalising. He has told us you requested reassignment as you were…unfit for deployment.”

For a beat, you didn’t breathe. 

“...Anakin said that?”

The silence that followed was answer enough. 

Yoda hummed low, “Miscommunication, this may be.” He offered carefully in an attempt to diffuse the situation. “Clarify with Skywalker, you should.” His gaze lingering on you. 

Anakin had done it. What a sick joke. 

You forced your voice even but your pulse was ringing in your ears. 

“Right. Understood.” 

You locked your datapad shut and turned sharply on your heel, boots striking the floor. 

You didn’t bow. You didn’t wait for dismissal. You didn’t care. 

------- ------- ------- ------ ------ -------

You moved fast, shoving past a pair of Padawans who immediately pressed against the wall at the sharpness of your walk. 

Anger burned under your ribs and your throat was hot, until your breath came shallow and quick. 

You didn’t even think when you spotted him in the courtyard, his arms crossed and Rex beside reading something off a datapad beside him. 

“Skywalker!”

Both heads turned immediately. 

Rex eyebrows creased as he noticed your furious expression. Whatever he saw made him take half a step back. 

Anakin straightened slowly, his arms still crossed. His expression remained composed but there was the faintest flash of surprise there and gone again. “Commander,” he said neutrally, like you hadn’t just spat his name out in hatred. “Something on your mind?”

“You,” you snapped, voice sharp enough that a few passerbys stopped to turn and look at you. 

Before he could respond, you closed the distance in three long strides. Your datapad was still clutched in your hand, the screen creaked with different colours under the strain of your grip. 

Without thinking, you shoved him. 

Hard enough that he took a step back, his arms dropping instinctively, his jaw locking tight. 

“You went to the Council?” Your voice louder than the chatter in the outside courtyard. “You went behind my back and told them I wanted out?!” 

Anakin’s gaze flickers sideways for a brief second, checking the troopers and guards who now pretended to not stare. His expression didn’t break. 

“Lower your voice,” he said evenly, his jaw flexed tightly and eyes now looking down on you,

“Oh, bite me.” You jabbed a finger at his chest, barely containing yourself from slapping him in public at this very second. “Don’t you dare tell me to lower my voice after the shit you just pulled.” 

“I was protecting you,” he said louder this time, his voice sharp. You didn’t even need to tell him about the missions specifically because he already knew. He knew what he was doing. 

“Protecting me?” You choked out a furious laugh. “By making decisions for me? Scrubbing my deployment records and lying to the Council like I can’t handle my own damn life?” 

He held your glare, his own jaw tight, breath sharp through his nose. “I wasn’t going to let them stand there and throw you into Force knows where. You aren’t at full strength-” his voice cutting but steady. “-You’re still healing.” 

“You don’t get to decide that!” you snapped, shoving the datapad into chest harder this time, his hands quickly moving to hold it. 

Rex who still stood besides you both raised his hands slightly, “General—Commander—maybe we should take this somewhere–” 

“Stay out of it, Rex!” You barked, never breaking Anakin’s stare. 

He was infuriatingly calm in comparison to you, like he chose to let your anger burn out before striking back. It made it worse. 

You stepped closer to him now, your voice dropping into a venomous tone. “You think you’re better than me? That since you’re a Jedi you can decide what I can handle? You have me stuck here doing stocktake because you think it will protect me? Skywalker, I don’t need your pity. I don’t need–”

Anakin’s hand shot out, curling firmly around your arm while his other arm still gripped your datapad. The heat of his touch burned against you, an unwanted reminder of the nights you’d spent tangled up in it. 

“Let go of me!” 

“Not here,” he said firmly, leaning closer so only you could hear. “You want to scream at me? Fine. But not in the middle of the Temple.” 

“Anakin, let go.” You hissed, trying to jerk your arms back. 

“Y/n,” his voice tight with restraint, “ I am not doing this in front of the entire battalion.” 

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have kept it from me,” you shot back, your teeth clenching and your breath quick and uneven. 

His gaze didn’t leave yours, it was dark and absolute. You barely had time to react before he was steering you away from the courtyard. You stumbled once, caught off guard by his force. Not violent but firm. 

He didn’t speak. Didn’t look at Rex. Didn’t acknowledge the clones who turned to look. The corridor swallowed you both as the noise of the courtyard shrunk. 

He didn’t stop until the natural light dimmed and you reached a quiet rotunda. It was lit by nothing but the sun, yet shaded by the dome ceiling. The air was cooler here. Still, it wasn’t far enough from the courtyard, anyone could walk in to us. 

He let go of your arm, but the heat of his touch lingered like a bruise. 

“You don’t get to drag me out of a place like-” 

“I do,” he said, his voice low. “When you’re about to lose control in front of all your soldiers, I do.”

His eyes were darker here. Not angry. But fixated. Like something had him locked in place. 

“What the fuck, Anakin. I have every right to be angry,” your voice cracked from the force behind it. “How do you think it makes me look?”

He exhaled through his nose, forcing himself to stay steady. “It makes you look alive,” he said finally. “Not halfway to a medbay.” 

“You don’t have any control to do shit like that.” 

He took a step forward, his gloves creasing as his fists flexed at his sides. “You were barely out of the medbay. You flinch every time you turn your head too fast. And they wanted you to be sent into a lab all alone with Kaminoan medics, probing your files and force knows what else? I wouldn’t be able to watch over you-”

“It’s my life, Anakin.” You dragged your hand through your hair, scoffing. 

“I was trying to protect you,” he pleaded. 

“Stop saying that!” Your voice cracked, raw. “Stop hiding behind it and acting like the hero.”

His lips parted like he wanted to say something but he stopped himself. His shoulders tensed and his breath sharp. 

You sighed. “What?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he said like he was forcing the words into the air. 

Your chest tightened. “..Why are you saying that?”

Anakin’s eyes didn’t move from yours. He stepped closer. “Because it was wrong.” 

The hurt slipped through before you could cage it. 

“Why are you messing with my feelings, Anakin?” He stepped closer. His jaw clenched and his control didn’t falter once. He reached up, his gloved hand brushing against your jaw. Steady and grounding. As if he was daring you to look away. 

His voice was low, his dark eyes flickering to every feature of your face. “I didn’t want it to stop. You did.”

You tried to steady your breath but it only came out uneven. 

“Anakin…” you whispered, unsure if it was a warning or a plea. 

“You think I haven’t thought about it every day since you came back? Or since Dev?” His thumb skimmed just under your cheekbone, his gaze dropping to your mouth half a second before locking onto your eyes again. 

The silence stretched, your glare holding his. The tension was unbearable. 

And then the courtyard erupted. 

It started with a crash. A shattering sound down the corridor followed by panicked shouts. Anakin’s hands immediately dropped from your face as both of your heads snapped towards the sound. 

A pair of Padawans sprinted around the corner, one clutching a training saber hilt and the other wide eyed. 

Before you could process it, the smell of scorched durasteel hit. 

“Stay here,” Anakin ordered, his empty hand curved around your midsection, guiding you back with pressure. He then stepped past you, moving to see the commotion. 

You didn’t stay. Obviously. 

By the time you rounded the corner, chaos bloomed across the courtyard's training platform. Two terrified younglings crouched by a busted out droid on the floor, sparking violently. One of the Padawans, ten at most, held his hand like it burned, tears pricking the edges of his eyes. 

“Force,” you muttered, pushing past Anakin and kneeling beside the kid. 

“Hey, hey— look at me.” You caught his chin gently and then examined the burn streaking up his palm. “It’s surface-level. You’ll be okay. Breathe.”

A man then dropped to a crouch opposite you. His robes were dark beige and he had a sand-toned armour plate underneath. He had a few strands of dark hair that slipped over his brow as he moved. You didn’t recognise him as one of the Masters you were used to. Perhaps he only became established here in the years you were gone. 

“Padawns shouldn’t be practising without a supervisor,” he said smoothly, voice low as he reached forward, placing his palm gently over the injured boy’s back. “You’re going to be fine. Stay still.” 

Your own hand froze-mid motion as you watched his pale storm grey eyes that cut through the noise. 

“You’re late, Draven,” Anakin said, voice edged. “This platform was under your supervision this morning.” Anakin approached the both of you, his jaw twitching and his arms crossed tightly over his chest. 

The man didn’t look up immediately, still inspecting the murmuring boy’s hand, but when he did, he met Anakin’s stare with an unmatched calmness. “I was at a mission briefing. Had to prioritise keeping half your battalion alive, Skywalker.” 

You blinked, suddenly feeling the tension between the two. 

Anakin stepped closer, his presence hot and heavy at your back. “Then maybe delegate next time,” he said coolly. “Or did they not cover accountability when giving you that fancy rank?” 

Before ‘Draven’ could press further, another figure appeared. Her steps clipped but graceful, lekku swaying behind with each stride. 

“Force, I leave for ten minutes and the whole courtyards on fire,” she sighed. She was tall and striking, her teal dusted skin caught the sunlight and her lekku was marked with white stripes. She had a tiny silver hoop decorated around her lekku and one in the cartilage of her right ear. Her robes were more tailored to combat gear than ceremonial dress. 

You didn’t know who these people were and the air only seemed to thicken in every growing second. 

“You didn’t miss much,” the dark haired man said, lifting his gaze to meet the Twi’leks. “Except Skywalker’s lecture on responsibility. Inspiring, really.” 

“Supervision works best when present.” Anakin said in a low voice. 

Draven’s smirk lingered, his dimples flashing. 

“Council would love this, two Generals arguing while a kid bleeds.” Her rings glinted as she tilted her head. 

That was enough. Your hands pulled the kid up gently and slowly. “He needs the medbay. I’ll take him.” 

Anakin didn’t move from behind you and watched as you took the uninjured hand of the Padawan and held it in your own, guiding him towards the medbay. 

“Alright, soldier,” you murmured, keeping your tone calm as you left the three Jedi behind you, uninterested in their conversation. “What’s your name?”

“Avin…” 

“Avin! You’re a strong boy,” you tried to distract him but his wide blue eyes kept dripping with tears. 

“I–I messed up,” he stammered, sniffing and holding his injured hand out as you both walked down the corridors. “Master said we should practise alone and I thought–I thought–”

“Hey,” you cut him off gently. “You’re alive, you’ve still got your hand! And I'm not going to write a report about how you set yourself on fire in front of General Skywalker. That’s a win.”

That earned you a hiccuped laugh, the sound easing some of the tension that built up in your chest.

Avin stuck close to your side, his small boots scuffing against the marble floor. 

“You’re…you used to be a Jedi, right?” He sniffed, glancing up at you from under messy curls. 

“Something like that,” you said lightly, feeling the words landing on your ribs. 

“People say…” he thought for a second before continuing, “say that, you disappeared. And you came back. And General Skywalker…”

You raised an eyebrow at this. “That’s a lot of rumours for a Padawan.” 

His ears burned red, “sorry,” he mumbled. He then hesitated before blurting out, “It’s just…everyone says General Skywalker is the best pilot in the galaxy. That he…saved thousands of lives. And—and you used to fight with him.”

“We still fight together sometimes,” you corrected softly. 

“That must’ve been so cool. Like—fighting with someone famous.” His eyes lit up. 

You smiled faintly. Loving someone famous, someone worshipped by half the galaxy was a complicated reality. “Maybe one day you can fight alongside him.”

“Do you think?” He asked with joy. 

“Of course. Just train hard but don’t injure yourself,” you chuckled lightly. He gave you a small laugh. 

By the time you reached the medbay doors, his stiffness had left his small body. A med-droid hurried forward and ushered him inside the ward, thanking you politely. 

“Take it easy for a few days. Okay, Avin?”

“I’ll try, Commander!” He shouted back before disappearing into the hum of the room. 

—-

You exhaled and turned back towards the corridor, before stopping short. 

Leaning against the wall like he had nowhere better to be was the same man, arms folded loosely over his chest. 

He didn’t look away when his gaze met yours. “You handle Padawans better than most instructors,” he said, his voice smooth. “Didn’t even have to raise your voice.” 

You blinked, caught off guard. “I’m not an instructor,” you said, your hands clasped behind your back. “I just know what it feels like to be ten and terrified in front of half the Temple.”

He tilted his head, studying you with quiet interest. “Oh, I know who you are,” he said lightly, like there was more behind his words than he was letting on. “The Council was…very thorough in briefing me.” 

Your brows furrowed. “Briefing you? About me?” 

“You’re Y/n, right?” You nodded. He then shrugged one shoulder lazily. “Hard not to be curious when a decorated general disappears mid-campaign, then returns months later stripped of her title but not her influence.” He said as he walked alongside you. 

You scoffed in disbelief. “I didn’t realise my life story was required reading for new Masters.” 

He smirked in response, “not required, just interesting.” He countered easily. “I’m Kael Draven, by the way.” 

You nodded, “don’t need to tell you who I am,” you said sarcastically. 

He chuckled beside you but your jaw tightened. 

“You’ve got family, right?” He suddenly asked. 

You squinted your eyes up ahead, not wanting to look at him. “Whats it to you?” 

He shrugged, “They did leave that part out of the briefing.” He said playfully but in a much softer tone. 

Your lips parted, debating on whether to engage in this conversation or not. “An older brother,” you admitted, “haven’t spoken to him in a long time.”

Something flickered across his features. “You should,” he tucked his hands in his pants pockets. “Speak to him, I mean. Before the war decides for you.” 

You blinked in confusion, but before you could ask what he meant, he cut you off. 

“I’ll see you around, Y/n,” Kael said, his tone light. You paused in your track as he nodded at you before his silhouette shrinking away past the corridor. 

You didn’t move for a long moment. 

------ ------- ------ ------- ------- ------- -------

Kael’s voice lingered stubbornly in your head. You hated that he had looked at you like that. Hated that you had even brought up your brother. 

You needed air so you went to the Archives. The Archives wasn’t exactly ‘air’ but it was quiet. 

You’d escaped here thinking that the silence might help. Kael’s voice lingering in the back of your head. And then Anakin. Anakin giving you all these mixed signals. 

You were sitting down on the steps of the Archive, closing your eyes, and your fingers massaging your forehead. You don’t know how long you sat there for but it wasn’t long enough. 

“Running away doesn’t make the problems vanish,” a dry voice said beside you. 

You sighed, not even needing to look up. “Kenobi.” 

“L/n.” 

Obi-wan sat beside you with poise only he could have. His hands folded and his back straight. 

“Let me guess,” you muttered, “you’re here to talk about it.”

“That depends.” His tone was light and casual, but his eyes studied your face. “Do you want me to talk about it, or do you want me to pretend I haven’t heard half the Temple discussing the fact that you stormed out of the Council Chambers and caused a commotion in the courtyard?”

You groaned and your hands brushed down your face in exhaustion. “Look, Obi-wan. I’ve just had a really bad day today.” You paused. “And I didn’t storm out.”

His brow arched. “You left mid-session without dismissal.”

You scoffed, “they blindsided me.”

Obi-wan nodded and stroked his beard, “by removing you from your assignments?” He asked with the faintest tone of curiosity. 

You turned to look at him, “you knew?”

“In your case, I didn’t need to dig very deep. The council was…surprisingly open about it.” He said evenly. 

“So everyone knows except me?” You scoffed, “I should’ve asked the moment the first assignment disappeared.” 

“Mmm,” Obi-wan hummed. “I believe that’s why it went under the radar. Had we known the requests were from Anakin it would’ve been resolved faster.” 

“He thinks I’m some sort of a child. I don’t need protecting,” you leaned back against the step behind you. 

“I believe you,” Obi-wan replied. “I’m not sure Anakin does.” 

You bit the inside of your lip, “is anything going to happen to him?” 

Obi-wan brushed a hand through his hair, “it may affect the relationship he has with the Council in the future.”

You nodded, suddenly feeling guilt as if it was your own fault.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The faint hum of a file being accessed was quite rhythmic and filled the silence between you two. 

Obi-wan shifted, his voice dropping lower and in a more serious tone. “Look. I’m not here to question your…relationship with Anakin.” 

Your head snapped towards him and your mouth agape ready to dismiss it but he lifted a hand before you could speak. 

“I’m not implying that there is anything improper,” he clarified, his tone creating the weight of unspoken truth that he couldn’t say. “But, I am saying the two of you are… connected. And when this connection spills into the Council, it puts more than just you at risk.”

You swallowed and sat in silence. 

“You know…his protectiveness didn’t start with you. It started long before either of us truly understood him.”

Pursing your lips, you listened intently. 

“He lost his mother when he was still a boy. He carried that wound into everything, every mission, every attachment. The council told him to let it go. But how does a boy forget about his own mother?” Obi-wan said with no judgement, just sorrow. 

“And then Ahsoka left. He trained her. Trusted her. Yet the Order cast her aside to the point she couldn’t return to him. That scar is…just as deep. If not deeper.” He said at a much slower pace. 

“And then there’s you.” Obi-wan turned to you. “Someone he can’t seem to stop circling back to. Do you see the pattern, Y/n? When Anakin gives his heart to someone, the galaxy takes it away from him. He cannot bear it.” He shook his head. “He interferes. He bends the rules because, in his mind, that is the only way to stop history from repeating itself.”

Obi-wan let out a slow breath, looking at you with tired eyes. “I don’t mean to say this to you to scare you. But I hope you understand, him pulling the strings from your mission, almost murdering Sora Bulq, it came from a place of fear.” Obi-wan straightened slightly. “And fear, as we both know, has never led Anakin anywhere good.” 

Silence. 

“And one day, that fear will destroy him.” 

A/N: HI ok so first of all i want to apologise to literalllyyyyy everyone evrr i am so sorry for disappearing i just hadn't had the motivation to write and when i write i want my writing to come from a place of happiness and like something i actually like doing if u know what i mean

second of all I WILL RESPOND TO EVERYONEEEEEE ON THE LAST POST AND MY DMS AND MY ASKS RN! AFTER I POST THIS! i read literally everything u guys said i swear to god i felt like it was so long and i hadnt written and i felt guilty 😭

third of all i also said it would be 10k words but its 6k onlyyyy because the last like convo with obiwan i really liked how it settled i felt like it wouldnt be as important or foreshadowy if i had continued straight off, nonetheless i will drop a new chapter soon anyways because i feel like in such the mood to write honestly and its going to get into the clonewars canon like basically the next chapter and omg i hope u guys dont hate all my oc's i just need the story to feel alive without it feel like im using the same ppl over and over again

FOURTH im going to do the taglist rn and add all the new PEOPLE PLEASE its been 2 months since i last posted

if u are no longer interested in the story and want to be removed message me privately or comment or send an ask and i wont post it or anything and there is no shame at all !!!!

Taglist:@endairachristensen26 @hayden-christensen-verse @ducks118 @seventeen-x @movingalongthekiwi@ssnapsaurus @caramelfondu @f1wh0recom@devilslittlehelper @dayrin085 @user-3113s-blog @heyitsbeeeb @bettysgardenswift @green-lxght @veronaspencil @zudooms@fandomhoe101@devotedlypaleluminary@starfire21 @hiphopdancer101universe @biddycums @lotushzl @lacherrysouldy @miksxz @icanmeltanigloo @moonixlity @wandasblacknails @balsalmic-vinegar @kiyotofish @isntthatsweetiguessso @queenanababy@sylusisbae @thereeallink @tvdelrey@guizhou09 @lotushzl @ifonlyihadneverseenhim @lils-and-everything-else @gracielikegrapes @thatgoesinthere-misshapes @chris-continues @5secondsofmoxley @avengers-lovers-blog @flowerlanaa @hot-older-bro @hagocopter @wizzerreblogs @bearbbby @liberrtoalpaxa @allysonbabe @amberpanda99 @loliskywalker @simpforstraightmen @youraggedybitch @eevee-lol @altairrgw

omg ok this also wasnt proof read i feel like when i was writing it there was a glitch somewhere so im kinda scared...

Padme said nothing as they moved through the polished corridors, her heels echoing softly. Anakin’s steps required more effort, his boots heavier, like he was still somewhere else. 

The walk was short but felt excruciatingly long.

They didn’t look at each other. But they moved in parallel. 

Anakin fought the urge from trying to explain himself to Padme. His throat bobbed and his head hung low. He didn’t owe Padme anything. But he felt like he needed to clear things up. 

“I wasn’t–”

“You don’t need to explain, Ani.” Padme cut him off gently, still not looking at him. 

“I wasn’t going to apologise,” he said in a much quieter tone. “But, I wasn’t hiding anything either.”

Padme’s eyes flickered to her side, studying his sunken expression. The tension in his jaw, the exhaustion lining his features. 

“I didn’t think you were,” she replied, “You’ve made it clear how you feel.” 

It sounded a lot harsher than she intended, but she didn’t take it back. They turned a corner, passing a pair of clones that were stationed near her transport. 

“You should know,” Anakin said, after a few paces. “She was worried.”

Padme lifted an eyebrow at this but allowed him to continue talking. 

“In the medbay. She said something about…you and me. About how close we looked since she left.” 

Padme’s head tilted. That caught her attention. 

“She did?” 

His voice dropped lower, less defensive, more raw. “She didn’t accuse me,” he added. “But she noticed. And I think it bothers her.” 

Padme’s lips parted again. 

“I…I didn’t realise she had seen it that way.”

Anakin gave her a slow nod, feeling something twist in his stomach. “Neither did I.” He rubbed his fingers absently.

He knew what came next. What should come next. The sensible thing. The right thing. 

Padme did too. She dreaded it. Afraid of the solution he would give her. One that would force herself away from him, for the sake of his relationship. She didn’t want to hear it. She needed a resolution herself. 

The words began to form, his throat felt like it was tightening. 

“What if—”

“I should go.” Padme interrupted abruptly, turning to look towards her transport ahead. Anakin froze mid step, his mouth left hanging and his words abandoned in the air. 

Padme didn’t wait for him, her heels clicking and drowning out whatever he might say. 

Anakin stood there, his eyes dark with something unreadable.

But for Padme?

The thought stuck in her mind. Quiet and unresolved. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The morning light bled through your thin blinds, turning your room into golds and shadows. 

Your body ached, your ribs were still wrapped around in both bandages and the ghosts of Vale’s fingerprints. You groaned. The memory of his hands around you didn’t disappear overnight. Not that you had expected it to. 

You sat up slowly, exhaling through clenched teeth as your body attempted to fight off your sleep. The bacta patches were warm and pulsing, still doing their job. 

You stretched your arms over your head and sighed as they fell down on your lap. Your datapad blinked on the nightstand with a single line notification. 

Picking it up, you thumbed it open out of habit and began to skim through your personal logs and assignments.

You scrolled through your tasks list but it was blanked. Furrowing your eyebrows, you switched between tabs trying to find it. 

That high-priority mission from two days ago, the Deep-space scouting operation was gone. Just disappeared. 

Not reassigned.

Not cancelled.

Erased.

You stared at the screen for a moment, frowning. There was no Council note or transfer of assignment. 

You dropped your datapad away to take with you. It didn’t feel important. Not now. Someone else can deal with the other minefields. 

You traded your clothes for some loose pants and a short sleeve grey compression shirt. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The Temple was quieter than usual today. Not dead but as if it was in between a few things. 

Some soldiers laughed, their helmets under their arms. A few offered you a short “Commander,” as you passed, you nodded. You weren’t sure if they did it out of habit or genuine respect.

Once you reached the mess, it was mid cycle. There were rows of both Jedi but majority clones hunched over their ration trays. The hum of conversations and occasional clatter of utensils filled the space. 

You hesitated at the entrance, grabbing a tray and moved to the serving line. You exhaled, your anxiety meeting you at a place that you had never experienced before. Ever since you came back, you avoided places like these. Often opting out for some take out and eating alone, this was different. It was just before lunch, soldiers wanting to eat before the rush, yet early enough it could be considered late breakfast. 

“Been a while, Commander.” You looked up to the voice that belonged to the mess attendant, an older soldier. His armour was replaced with a simple kitchen tunic but his posture remained rigid. 

“You want the usual?”

You glanced down at what was offered. A nut paste. Ration bread. And something green you didn’t want to question. 

You nodded. “Yes, please.” The familiarity of his words settled strangely in your chest. 

He worked quickly and scooped your portions onto your tray. “Good to see you back,” he added, handing it over. “We’ve lost a few good people,” he glanced up at you. You stared back at him, unsure of what to say. Giving him a force tightlipped smile, you replied back.

“Thanks,” and you took your food and moved to the booths near the window, overlooking Coruscant’s skyline. The city was alive. Air traffic never stops.

You dropped your tray down and sat, your fingers twitching absently near your spoon. 

You would always spend your time eating here with Ahsoka. You were lighthearted, quick to speak with nearby soldiers, making jokes and such. But it seems the war killed that part of you. 

You were alone now. 

Holding the spoon in one hand, you scooped up the nut paste and brought it to your mouth. Your face instantly contoured in disgust. You had completely forgotten what it tasted like. Often just leaving it on your plate and eating the bread instead. 

You brought your datapad out. 

No messages. 

You weren’t expecting any, but still.

A few minutes passed in silence. You forced yourself to eat. There were a few glances. Some that were quick, others like they were measuring. 

It made sense, some have seen you since you came back. Others not. 

Then—

“You just gonna sit there looking miserable all day?”

You looked up.

Fives stood in front of your table, tray in his hand and his brow raised with amusement. Kix was behind him, taking a bite of something suspicious-looking into his mouth. 

“I’ve only been sitting for five minutes,” you muttered. 

Fives chuckled and slid into the booth without warning, both him and Kix sitting across from you. 

“How’s the shoulder?” Kix asked, eyeing you as you slowly took a bite out of the mystery green. Not bad. Warm.

You shrugged, swallowing the food down. “Not bad. Good enough to fake it.” You picked up another spoonful, “I get the feeling though the Temple medics care more about paperwork than pain thresholds.”

“They are,” Kix said flatly. “I helped train some. They log bruises like war crimes.”

You smirked a little, but didn’t reply back.

Fives tilted his head, “so? How’s it feel being back?”

You hesitated a little. It wasn’t all that great. Retrospectively there have been no positives since you came. A little fame? Maybe, yeah. 

You played with your food a little before answering, poking at the nut paste. “I don’t know,” you admitted. 

Five’s noticed the hesitation behind your voice. Your anxious fidgeting. He didn’t push any further. He nodded slowly and took a bite of his bread. “That’s fair.”

“And you guys?” You looked up at both of them. 

“Other than standard galactic chaos? The usual.” Kix deadpanned. 

“Oh and someone broke the showers on sublevel three,” Fives added. “Still an unsolved mystery.” 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. The tension on your shoulders eased. There was a pause, long enough for you all to settle into something more comfortable. You stared out the window to Coruscant’s air traffic. Somewhere someone was dying. Somewhere, the war kept spinning. 

Fives leaned back, watching you. Noticing the way your hair looked a different colour under the sun. He wasn’t trying to measure your recovery. Or your small scars that littered your skin. Something quieter. 

“They got you back on rotation yet?”

Turning your gaze back to Fives, you cleared your throat. “I think so,” you said. “Nothing’s been confirmed.”

As if on cue, your datapad buzzed softly next to your tray. 

You picked it up and swiped on the notification before you could think.                       

Kamino Medical Liaison Assignment – Commander L/n

Tipoca City, Kamino — Medical Level  Pending confirmation. 

Priority Tag: Observational Only

You stared at it. 

“You good?” Kix asked. 

You exhaled softly. “Yeah. Just got my assignment.”

“Kriff, that was fast,” Fives muttered. “Where to?” 

“Kamino.” 

Both their expressions shifted. And you knew what it meant. This isn't your field. Your role here was just to observe. Be on the sidelines. 

Kix took a sip of caf. “Medical support, I’m guessing?”

You nodded. “Feels like they don’t know what to do with me,” you replied. 

Kix’s tone softened, noticing your disheartened voice. “You’ll make a difference there. A real one.” 

Fives nodded in agreement. “Yeah. And honestly? They could use someone like you on Kamino. They listen more when it’s not a Kaminoan.” 

You looked down at your tray. It wasn’t what you wanted. But it was something. And maybe it was enough for now. 

The silence said enough. 

“For what it’s worth…I’m glad you’re back.” Fives added. 

You glanced up at his reassuring smile. 

Kix let out a quiet breath. “Yeah. And if you ever feel like stabbing someone, I can slip you a scalpel from the medbay.” 

You huffed out a laugh. “Comforting,” you said dryly, they both chuckled. 

The ache in your chest didn’t go away. But it did settle. 

Before Fives could make his own smart comment, Kix stood up, glancing at his chrono. “Alright, I got to head back. Nice to see you, Commander.” 

“Likewise,” you shot him a tight-lipped smile. 

Fives sat and watched you quietly as Kix walked away. 

There was a moment of silence as you accepted the mission and then picked up your spoon again, ready to absentmindedly nudge your food. 

“You don’t have to pretend,” Fives’ gruff voice made you look up at him. 

“Hm?” 

“To be okay. To be back.” 

You gave him a small smile. “I know..”

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Anakin leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and his eyes fixated on a datapad he hadn’t actually processed in twenty minutes. He kept rereading the same sentence again. Again. And again. And still he wasn’t making sense of anything. 

It never stopped. 

“You’re brooding again,” Obi-wan’s voice came behind him. 

“I’m reading, Master.” Anakin shot back without looking up. 

“You’re rereading the same report you send me three days ago.”

Anakin signed and let the datapad drop against his thigh and he turned his head to look at Obi-wan. He was stood near the entrance of the war room, his arms around his back, and he looked tired. Everyone looked tired these days. 

“Didn’t realise I was being watched,” he shrugged. 

“You make it very easy,” Obi-wan replied, stepping beside him. 

“Good to know.” 

They stood for a few moments, watching a few younglings pass by the window, holding a stack of training manuls. 

“You could rest, you know,” Obi-wan said. “You’re not on rotation until tomorrow.” 

“Resting doesn’t fix anything.”

“It’s not meant to fix anything. It’s meant to keep you alive long enough for you to try.” 

He didn’t respond, but his jaw was tight and his eyes unfocused again. 

“You’re not sleeping, are you?”

Another beat of silence. 

“Do you ever stop keeping track?” Anakin asked, his voice flat. 

“Excuse me?”

“Every death. Every mission that doesn’t go the way it was planned. Do you ever stop counting?  

Obi-wan doesn’t reply right away. “Not really,” he admitted. “But I try to remember why we’re fighting.”

Anakin let out a humourless laugh. “And what if you’re not sure anymore?” 

“You are sure,” He said firmly. “You just hate what it costs you.” 

Anakin looked down at his hands. Once that had a black glove. The other was rough and had scarred skin. 

Obi-wan stepped away, giving him space. 

“I have another Council meeting. Try not to lose your mind in the next hour.” 

“Sure. Put it on the pile.” Anakin muttered. 

Obi-wan gave him one last look before retreating back. 

Anakin stared out the window. It was only late afternoon but he hated this part of the day. The outside was harsh and golden but the sunlight pressed against the glass, warm and unrelenting. It caught on his face, the side of his neck and the strip of skin beneath his collar.

The Temple walls didn’t breathe much at this house. It was quiet and still. It had weight with things he didn’t want to remember. His skin felt itchy. 

It came around this time of day. Where he would remember sitting on the cracked sunbaked steps as a boy, sweat drying on his back. His house was too hot to enter but the air outside tasted like dust and waiting for something. Like hope. 

This tasted the same. 

He hated this part of the day. 

The sun shouldn’t make him feel like this. 

His thoughts spiraled too easily. 

His mother. Ahsoka. Y/n. 

Every name he couldn’t say out loud but every connection he wasn’t allowed to keep. Every person who slipped out of his reach.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

After the mess hall you had showered off the Temple’s humidity and returned to your room. You were not curled on your sleep couch, datapad propped against your knee. Half reading through post-battle debriefs, politics and whatever piqued your interest at this hour. Which was nothing. Your eyes moved but your brain didn’t. 

Your mind couldn’t help but wander off to Anakin. What had happened that night. The way his head was so close to yours. His breath against yours. 

The ping of your datapad interrupted your thoughts. It wasn’t the usual Temple alert note but a softer one. 

You tapped the blinking corner and a new message slid across your screen. 

Secure Direct Comm Link

Sender: Senator Padme Amidala

  If you’re free tonight…I’d like to speak with you. Come to mine for dinner. Just us. No guards or formalities. Wear anything you’d like, please.

And then a second message appeared. 

I owe you clarity. 

You stared longer than you meant to. You weren’t sure how to feel about this. Before leaving, Padme and you weren’t exactly close. Yes, you would speak to her from time to time, but anything one on one was different. 

But you stood anyway. Something you’d like? You walked over to your closet and skimmed past your uniforms, temple issued gear. And settled on black. Something that was you. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The corridors to the apartment were quiet in the evening. You smoothed your outfit again, even though you had checked it multiple times in the mirror. 

It was simple. A long sleeved black dress that hugged your thighs and then flared below your calves and had a square neckline that framed the top of your chest. 

The door slid open before you could buzz. 

“Y/n!” Padme said warmly, engulfing in your hug before letting you go equally as fast. “I’m glad you came.” 

“It’s lovely to see you,” you said politely, stepping into her dimly lit apartment. I twas curated so guests could come even when they didn’t company. 

The table was already set. Two plates and a few covered dishes still seaming. 

“You look beautiful,” she said. 

You softly smiled at her, “thank you. You look great as well.” Unsure of how to exactly compliment her. 

She was dressed more simply than usual. An elegant cream wrap around dress but she still managed to make it look expensive. Her hair was pinned back and she had a green jweled necklace on.

“I hope this isn’t too strange,” she said. She then motioned to the table. “Please, sit. It;s just roast and steamed greens. Nothing fancy.”

“No! It’s great. Beats anything in the mess hall.” You joked, taking a seat across from her in the small table.

She lifted the covers from the dish and began plating both your plates quietly. You sat, unsure where to put your hands. 

“How’s your side?”

You blinked. “Sorry?”

Padme gestured towards your ribs. “Is it healed yet?” 

You nodded slowly, sometimes forgetting you were injured yourself. “It’s just bruises now. The bacta helps but…yeah.” 

“Good.” She smiled softly, setting down your plate. “You didn’t show it that night.”

“I didn’t want to.”

Padme gave a quiet hum. “I wouldn’t have either.”

You picked up your fork and began pushing at pieces of green. 

“Monian seemed…captivated.” Your eyes flicked up at her, your jaw tightened slightly, but you didn’t respond. 

She didn’t push. Instead she leaned back and took a slow sip before glass before speaking again. “You’ve been through a lot since Dev. The temple. The injuries. Vale.” She began to pick up her fork and knife, gnawing at the piece of meat. “It’s a wonder how you’re still alive.”

“It doesn’t feel much of a comeback.” You muttered. 

“It does to the people watching.”

She softened again. “You don’t have to talk about him, if you don’t want to.”

“Dev?”

“No,” she hesitated. “Anakin.”

You swallowed and shut up immediately. This was what she wanted to talk to you about. Anakin. You knew this was coming. 

The silence stretched just a bit longer than usual. 

“I wanted to speak with you sooner,” Padme said carefully. “But it never felt like the right time.”

“There wasn’t a right time.”

She nodded in agreement. “No. There wasn’t.”

She inhaled deeply as you took a sip of your wine. “I spoke to Anakin briefly. He mentioned something.” She hesitated. “About you being in the medbay… That you brought me up.”

Your heart panged. 

“I think there may have been… some misunderstanding. Or at least it’s been weighing on you and I should have addressed it earlier.”

Her voice didn’t waver. 

“About me. And Anakin.” She looked at you directly, her fork hovering in the air before bringing it to her mouth. 

She chewed and swallowed, leaving you anxiously sitting there waiting for her to continue. 

“After you left the Order…he broke down. I don’t think anyone but Obi-wan and I noticed. He was…angry, reckless. Hurt in ways he couldn’t say.” 

You didn’t speak. Your food left abandoned on the plate. 

“I listened. I was there. We had met when we were both only children. It made sense for him to confide in me.”

“You say that like I should thank you.” 

Padme’s eyes flickered with something. “I’m not asking you to. I’m saying it because no one else will. And because you looked at me like I had taken something from you.”

“Why are you even telling me this?” You swallowed. 

Her tone shifted to something quieter. “Because it’s easier to hate someone when you only have half the truth.” She met your eyes. 

You stared for a long moment. “I’m a Jedi. Or…I was. We’re not even supposed to think about things like this. Relationships. Possession. Attachment. It’s forbidden.” 

“I’m not suggesting anything,” Padme defensively said. “And neither was he.”

“Then why bring it up?” You asked. 

She paused then took a slow breath. “I don’t want you to get this wrong idea. Obi-wan and I…We both tried. We weren’t trying to replace you.”

You stared at your plate again. It was going cold now. The roast untouched beside the greens. 

“Replace me?” you repeated. “Padme. I left. There was no replacing. I wasn’t there to be missed.”

“That’s not true.”

You looked at her, dropping your diplomatic mask. “I was hurt too, you know? My whole life changed that day…And when I came back…It didn’t get any easier.”

“I know,” she set down her utensils. The silence felt heavier than anything she could have said. 

“Anakin–he tried. Tried to reach you. He didn’t have many people he could trust, and after you left…”

Her words trailed off but you were still looking at her. Your eyes now burning. 

“I thought I knew him better than anyone else,” you let out a humourless laugh. “And then I came back and it was…it was like I was intruding on something.”

A pause. 

“I was always so careful,” she began. “Careful with everything. Until him.”

There it was.

You didn’t speak. Not yet. 

How could you respond to that? To someone else’s version of your person? To the realisation that while you were gone, the possibility of someone else falling for him wasn’t unexpected. 

“He came to me a lot. I thought…I thought I was helping.” She glanced down and swirled her wine in her glass without taking a sip. 

“Perhaps part of me misread that closeness for something else.”

You blinked. “Misread it how?”

She had a small, self-deprecating smile. A little ashamed. “I thought maybe he felt something more. I didn’t act on it. But I felt it. Or I thought I did.”

She wasn’t lying. She looked embarrassed to even tell you this. 

“Did he…”

Padme shook her head immediately. “He never crossed the lines between Jedi and Senator. Perhaps in friendship, yes. But he was there. All the time. When someone like Anakin shows up in the empty spaces of your life…you start filling in the blanks yourself.” 

Suddenly clearing her throat, she began to take her fork and eat food from her plate. “You don’t have to believe me.” She said in between bites. “But I think he felt more for you than he’s ever let himself say.” 

You didn’t move but something in your chest did. She must’ve noticed because she didn’t press you any further. Didn’t try to convince you. 

You glanced down at your plate and then at her cityscape window. Coruscant was always beautiful at night. 

“I didn’t know what to expect coming here,” you finally muttered. “Sitting down and talking to you.”

“I didn’t invite you to try and provoke you, honestly.” She said gently. “I just didn’t want you to believe I would do anything to hurt you.” 

You nodded and began to eat your own food, not wanting it to go to waste, 

“I honestly think he’s still trying to figure out if you’re real.” She said to which you snorted. 

“I think he resents me,” you murmured. 

“I think he resents himself.” 

You glanced up at her once and then continued eating. Not wanting that last comment to ruin your appetite. Anakin meant everything to you. Just the thought that maybe, maybe he hated himself, made you feel sick. 

After more eating and quiet talk, no longer about Anakin but rather how much or less the Order changed, she finally stood up. 

She took your plates and began to clear them, you moved to help but she stopped you gently. 

“I’ve got it. Thank you.” She said kindly. You watched her back. The posture of someone who felt things they should not, but working to amend them. 

You smoothed out your dress. 

“I never hated you, Padme.” You said honestly. “I’m glad that we had this talk, really.” 

She looked over at you and gave you a small smile, her eyes bright. “I feel the same way, Y/n.”

You held her gaze for a moment before walking to the door, Padme escorting you out. 

“Thank you for the dinner tonight. It was beautiful.” You stood out the corridor. 

She shook her head, “My pleasure. I hope you have a safe trip home.” 

You nodded and then bid your farewells. The city had begun to quieten down. By the time you reached your speeder, the night wind bit at your skin. You boarded the transport back to the Temple, the weight of the conversation still hanging in your chest. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

You finally turned into the final corridor towards your quarters, your footsteps soft against the polished hard floor. There was a deep blue that cast over the sleeping Temple. You were just as ready to fall asleep as everyone else. 

As you rounded the corridor, you paused immediately in place. 

Anakin. 

Sitting outside your door. 

His legs lie flat on the floor. Hands loose in his lap. His head leaning against the wall like he’d been waiting a while. 

Your heart dropped to your stomach. 

“What the hell,” you whispered harshly, walking over to him with a dumbfounded expression. “What are you doing here?” 

He blinked slowly and stood up, almost sheepish. His hair was messier than usual and his tunic was wrinkled. 

Stepping closer to him, your voice was hushed but sharp. “Are you out of your mind? If someone sees you—”

“No one’s going to see me,” he muttered. “Everyone’s asleep.”

“Yeah, well. We’re not.” You snapped back, glancing between both sides of the hallway. “You’re standing outside my room like a lunatic—what do you want?” 

He looked at you, his dark eyes boring into yours. 

“I needed to see you.”

You scoffed, “So you waited out here like a creep?”

“I tried knocking,” he shot you a small smirk, as if this was amusing. 

You rolled your eyes and key’d your door open, stepping inside and Anakin following in. This didn’t feel good. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like what it was before. When he would actually sneak into your room late at night. This felt blatantly wrong. 

“I didn’t know when you’d be back.” His eyes began to trail down your figure. Memorising every little detail of your dress. The way it hugged your body. Your lace sleeves. The way it was simple but you simply being in it was enough to leave Anakin longing for more. 

And then he snapped out of it. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked back up to your eyes. “Where were you? Why are you dressed like that?”

“Why do you care?” You tested. 

His jaw flexed, just once, but hard enough to say everything he wasn’t saying.

“I went to go see Padme,” you said. 

Anakin tilted his head, “Padme?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, stepping further back into your room while still facing him. But Anakin moved towards you at the same time. 

“You told her what I said in the medbay? Really, Anakin.” You scoffed looking away from him. 

He inhaled quietly. “I didn’t mean for her to bring it up to you.”

“But it still happened.” You looked back at him in disbelief. “Do you just talk about me to whoever’s around when I’m not there?”

His mouth opened slightly, and then closed again. He licked his lips. 

“I didn’t mean for it to be like that," he muttered in a low voice. 

“Totally, Anakin.” You bitterly laughed under your breath. “How embarrassing.”

“I was trying to explain. She could tell I was acting differently. I didn’t even say much.” 

You didn’t say anything. You just pressed your lips together and looked away. Trying to ignore the way the Force felt like it was pulling you both in together. How just being in the same room as Anakin Skywalker made everything feel sharper. 

“Whatever,” you muttered. “It’s done now.” 

“Y/n.”

You looked over at him. 

“I didn’t know you were going out tonight,” he said in a much softer tone. 

You rubbed your face with your palm, feeling the day weighing down on you. “It wasn’t a secret.” 

This made his jaw tick. He took one step closer, then another. You didn’t trust yourself to move. 

“I didn’t know where you went, or who you were with…” He trailed off. He was close now. “I hated it.”

You blinked. “You’re not entitled to know anymore.”

“I know,” he murmured. “But I still hated it.” 

His voice was lower now, more rough. You smelt the slightest trace of his cologne. Your eyes dipped down to his mouth before catching yourself. 

He wouldn’t stop looking at you. You felt uneasy under his gaze. His dark eyes. 

“Why are you here, Anakin?” You asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. 

He hesitated. “I wanted to see you.”

Your chest burned.

“That’s not fair.”

“I know.”

You didn’t move but neither did. Maybe if you stood long enough something would break. Like a crash. An attack. Someone walking in. 

But nothing. 

It was so quiet. 

You couldn’t distinguish the sound of your own breath between his. 

You felt your heartbeat against your chest. 

“Anakin…” you whispered, unsure if he heard you or not. 

But he did. 

His breath hitched and his eyes kept flickering between your mouth and above. 

Your mouth.

Your eyes. 

Your mouth.

Your eyes. 

The air between you had gone heavy, charged. Like the Force itself was holding its own breath.

He then stepped closer. Just once.

A single step that brought him too close. Close enough that his chest brushed against yours and it felt hot to the touch. 

His hand lifted slowly, cautiously. Like he was hesitating. Waiting for you to push him away like you always did. Waiting for you to yell at him again. But you didn’t. You couldn’t move, not with the way he was staring at you. 

His fingers found your chin, tilting your face up towards his. 

He leaned in. Closer. So slow it was unbearable. 

His jaw was tense. His lips parted slightly. His eyes, dark and unreadable. But they began to flutter shut. 

And then, finally. 

His lips brushed against yours. A ghost of a touch. Barely there. 

Like he was waiting. Waiting for you to pull back. To tell him this was wrong. But you didn’t. 

And then.

His mouth pressed against yours. 

It was soft. Softer than anything he’d ever done. Than any kiss you have shared in the past. 

And you kissed him back, the tension shattering. It was slow. Like neither of you trusted it to be real. 

His hand moved up to your cheek, his thumb skimming along your jawline. His other hand settled onto your waist, so carefully, so slowly. Terrified that you would disappear if he didn’t anchor himself onto you. 

He tilted his head, enough to deepen the kiss. Your mouths moved together like it was instinct. It was slow and aching. A kiss that whispered I missed you if he couldn’t say it in words. 

Your own hands moved too, fisting the fabric at his shoulders, pulling him in closer. 

He pulled back for just a breaths distance. 

Neither of you said a word. 

His chest moved up and down. Both of your eyes were closed and neither of you moved away. 

You didn’t say anything. 

So he kissed you again. 

Deeper this time. Still soft but hungrier. Like his restraint was slipping and he was starving. 

He leaned over you, more urgently. Like everytime he pulled back, everytime your lips parted by only an inch, he couldn’t stop himself from coming back in. Like he was afraid he would never have this chance again. 

His lips began to dip lower. Pressing another kiss just below your mouth. Then again, lower, at the curve of your jaw. And another at your neck. The sound of his lips on your skin was enough for you. 

“Ani…” you murmured without thinking. 

He paused for half a second but didn’t react, he just exhaled against your skin like he needed to hear it. 

He finally pulled back, but only by inches. His hands still on your waist and his brown drawn. His eyes still flickering between yours and your mouth like he hasn’t had enough.

“You can’t do this,” his voice hoarse. “You can’t come back, kiss me like that, and leave me again.”

Your throat tightened. “I didn’t plan this.”

“But it happened.” He said. “And I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t. Not for a second.”

You swallowed, your eyes searching his desperate ones. 

His voice dropped, “You can’t walk away from this again, not like nothing happened.”

His chest was rising like he was holding back everything else he wanted to say. 

“I’m not,” you whispered. “But you need to go.” You stepped back carefully. Your hands leaving his body and his to yours. It pained him.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Anakin, please.”

He looked at you like you were killing him. 

But without a word, with hope in his heart, he stepped back towards the door. You didn’t move. You didn’t bid him goodnight. You couldn’t. You couldn’t when you still felt his touch on you. His lips against yours. 

And finally, he walked out, not with anger or regret. But with everything left unsaid.

A/n: guys... im so sorry istg like this took me agesss ive just been going through so much stuff rn im SRRY IF IT DIDNT MEET UR EXPECTATIONSSSS BUT IT HAPPENED i want to clarify series isnt over until rots until then more drama and stufff not done with the angst fully yet but guysssssss WAS THE KISS RUSHED PLZ SAY NO

also im going to respond to everyones comments on my last few posts thanks to literally everyone who was checking up on me its the sweetest thing ever and i never ever imagined people loved my writing to the point of waiting and thinking about it like daysss afterwars seriously its the sweetest

i really hope u guys liked this chapter, i have my final exam on monday so after that hopefully more regular posts!

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