SOFÍA

Science Academia — oh to be devoted to medicine

I made this moodboard with some pics of first year

“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it.”

-having to double think about how to spell academia

-simply Not Doing homework when it gets too hard, waiting until the next day instead

-turtleneck over athletic clothes

-being spacey

-all the stuff on the walls is lopsided and falling

-pen smudges on your fingers

-dancing on your bed with your earbuds at 11 at night, trying to not wake your parents

-facetiming, sifting by the wall, not even talking just existing

-forgotten to do lists lying around

-chalk smudges on pillows from the chalkboard wall

-thick eyeliner on your waterline, messy and uneven on the eyelid

-or even eyeliner in bright shades of blue or green

-smudged lipstick from living in the moment

-losing all dignity out of pure happiness and excitement

-shitty ya literature

-that feeling that comes with waking up earlier than you’d like

-dark academic clothing, but battered or ripped

illegally downloading books, movies and music

don't have a folder, only loose pages with many disorganized notes

messy handwriting only you can understand (and sometimes not even that)

write with any pen except blue and black (your teachers hate you)

draw and scribble in the margin of the paper (again, your teachers hate you)

open the first free page in your notebook and start writing there (turn the page and realize that you have already started another topic and you are writing with the notebook upside down)

you have a favorite pen, all the time you are about to lose it and all the time you find it when hope is lost

if you even have a pencil case, have random things inside like a lighter, a cutter, a clip, notes that you kept for being sentimental, coins, 5 erasers (and you thought you didn't have any), old gum or candy all the trash from the pencil sharpener

write poems about rebellion, headaches, how hungry you are, and the failures of the educational system on your bank

tea in recess is always too sweet and you drink as much as the lady allows

So it’s like dark academia and chaotic academia mixed with some trashy horror

Staying up late reading your favorite horror novel by candle light

Writing in red ink that looks a little bit to much like blood

Taking walks in a forest under a full moon as the spirits whisper warnings while you pass

Driving down a eeire stretch of road just searching for a cryptid to make friends with

Watching horror movies late into the night with friend and then sneaking out to make some trouble of your own

Jumping at the shadows passing in the corner until you realize it’s only the ghost who has been living with you

Learning a dead language to have a conversation with things in the unknown

Adventuring to that run down house or castle on a warm summer night because it’s too loud to focus anywhere else

Roaming the local cemetery in the mist