chicken nugget thrash

HI BEANS!

This is all sleepy typing. Enjoy some Chim pov!

SEND ME A SHIP AND A SENTENCE, I'LL WRITE THE NEXT FIVE

"Good morning, sunshine!" Chim calls out as he enters Buck's house, keys jangling in his hands as he lifts one of the paper-bags. "So, bad news. The coffee machine was caput, but they had this new danish filled with-- Buck?"

Strange. Buck would usually be up and about by now, moving around inside his kitchen like a man on a mission, but one quick peek into the kitchen proved that this was not the case this morning. Chim places the paper-bag with its content onto one of the counters and continues into the living room. No sign of Buck.

His bedroom door was ajar, he then notices, and look. When you've been through all the shit he and Buck has been through through the years, all sorts of scenarios plays through the head, so concern that his brother-in-law could have been kidnapped again does cross his mind for a brief moment.

But upon peering into the bedroom, he quickly relaxes when he sees Buck stirring awake in his bed. Crisis averted! Buck is alive and well and apparently asleep. "Sorry, bud. Didn't think you were still in bed," he says, opening the door further. "But you got an appointment to get to, and I've been assigned as your driver, so--" He pauses, then. Gaze flicking over from where Buck is slowly waking up to the lump shuffling closer to where Buck is, and to the tangles of legs that peeks out from underneath the covers. Buck is not alone.

"Huh." Is all he can say, because he had not seen that coming. Wasn't even aware that Buck was seeing anyone.

"It's rude to stare, Howie" says a familiar, sleep-heavy grumpy voice from somewhere underneath those blankets.

"Tommy?"

"Still starin'. Go 'way. Make us some coffee. We'll be up soon."

"Uh-huh. You good there, Buck?"

"Fantastic, Chim," Buck yawns as Tommy winds an arm around him. "You heard him. Coffee."

"Coffee it is."

He backs out of the room. Stills for a moment as he tries to process what he had just witnessed. Fishes his phone out to text Hen and pockets his phone again, and entering the room again to see that neither of the pair has moved.

"So, uh... just ballpark, when would you say this happened?"

"No."

"Get out, Chim."

Don't forget this one of Frodo giving side eye like a diva:

And this one of Sam always makes me giggle:

And Saruman giving bat wings:

And these guys:

Today my wife did it, and I couldn't be more stunned and happy:

(pics taken as the sun shines through the doors, making all the colors shine and projecting some of them across the hallway floor) (edited this reblog to add a second pic)

This isn't a post from a big blog that a ton of people reblogged from that one big blog. This isn't even a post that got big because one big blog reblogged it. Yes, there were a few big-name boosts, but almost all of these reblogs are just, this post ambling through Tumblr making people happy.

My wife found this incredible rug to go into the living room, that matches the doors so so so well!

Isn't it fabulous?

Second poll will remain open until 50 years from publishing

Bot options share a UUID, making a vote for either count for both

Previously, a vote in the first poll counted for both options in the second

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.

No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.

The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.

Woman in purple, in a high pitched, enthusiastic voice: if you’re not at work today or you’re working from home, you may be wondering, whAt day is it?

Man in suit, emotionless and factual: itsmonday