Snippets of Erin

(romance + smut)

I love waking up in his arms. I love making us pancakes for breakfast and snuggling close to him on the couch. We have a nice life, in our small country house, surrounded by green pastures and majestic oaks. Summers are beautiful on our farm. I love taking care of the garden, eagerly waiting for him to get back from work. And when he’s back, I jump in his arms and kiss his lovely face, so happy to see him. 

On weekends, we go swimming. I pack the picnic basket full of our favorite treats and jump in the driver’s seat of our pick-up truck. He knows that I love to drive, so he never offers to do it himself. We spread the blanket under a tree. Nothing is better than spending an entire day by his side, falling in and out of sleep, as he gently runs his fingers through my hair.

We swim in the shallow water, we bask in the summer sun, our sun, here, away from the city, away from the noise and the chaos, secure in our little paradise, not wanting the day to end. 

I read to him from my favorite poetry book. He smiles and kisses me between strophes. It’s peaceful with him. The house, the garden, the lake, him - the only things I need.

We jump in the cool water. I hold on to his shoulders as I kiss the water off of his lips. 

Will you ever get bored of me?, I ask.

Never, he assures me with a kiss. What is there more to desire than this? 

I smile and pretend to swim away from him, only for him to follow closely. He knows that I can’t swim well, so he never leaves my side. I wrap my legs around him and rest my head on his shoulder, floating in his arms. 

Once we’re back home, I start planning dinner, while he finishes some yard work. With the fresh tomatoes in our garden, I make a delicious cream soup with fresh cheese and home baked bread.

I find my way in his arms on the couch. He kisses the tip of my nose. I rest my head on his chest and he runs his fingers up and down my back. He rests his hands on the small of my back, drawing shapes on my skin. I kiss the warm skin of his neck. 

Easily enough, his fingers start moving lower, on my buttocks, on my inner thigh, lifting my dress and pushing my underwear down. He grabs my leg and moves it to the side. The heat starts to grow inside me, knowing all too well where this is heading. I keep still on top of him, allowing him to continue. He pushes two fingers inside of me and I can’t help it. I moan and lift my hips. 

You are so wet, he whispers as he kisses the top of my head. I press my mouth to his chest and tighten my arms around his torso. He starts pushing his fingers back and forth in my vagina and I can’t compose myself. I am panting on top of him, unable to remain quiet. I start moving my hips against his pelvis, feeling his bulge growing under his briefs, causing him to groan.  

The pressure is becoming too much to handle, my body is overwhelmed by pleasure. Waves of ecstasy hit me as I let go on top of him, unable to control myself while my pussy throbs around his fingers. 

He starts rubbing my back as I struggle to compose myself, my abdominal muscles still spasming. 

Once I stop panting, he flips me on my back and starts caressing my breasts, kissing and sucking on my nipples. He relaxes on top of me, enjoying the intimacy as I run my fingers through his hair. But I instinctively widen my legs, wrapping them around his hips. 

He lifts his head and gives me a mischievous smile.

Already?, he asks.

He gets up and settles himself between my legs, taking his briefs off, his penis nudging against my thigh, teasing me. 

I need you so badly, I beg as I spread my legs wider, looking into his eyes. He grabs my hips and pushes himself inside of me.

He moans and leans down to kiss me, my nails digging into the skin of his back. He starts thrusting slowly, but soon picks up the pace, his thrusts becoming so rough that I have to grab the sides of the couch to keep myself balanced. 

As his thrusts become deeper, his pelvis starts hitting my clit and I cry out. 

We’re on the right path, baby, he moans. 

He keeps going at it, the pressure is building up inside of me yet again, this time even stronger than before. 

I finish, moaning, my back arches as the pleasure engulfs me. He gives me a few moments, his swollen penis still inside of me, enjoying the throbs of my vagina. Suddenly, he begins thrusting again, this time even more violently, until I start hurting. I gasp, pain combines with pleasure, as he is drilling me, not giving me enough time to recover. He finishes with a groan, shooting his load and collapsing on top of me immediately, his body shaking, my vagina still pulsing. He doesn’t pull out. I don't even think he can with how hard my vagina clenches around him. We lie in silence for a while. I’m dazed and unable to move, my legs wrapped around him, his body heavy on top of mine. He lifts his head and caresses my cheek, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. 

I love you more than anything, he whispers, his face red and sweaty. He rolls over to the side, pulling out from me, making my nerves tingle. I wish he never had to pull away. He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle close to him, pressing a kiss to his throat, missing him inside. I'm exhausted.

I wake up the next day on the couch by myself.  He’s already left for work, but I find a note on the table.

I love you forever. 

(pictures are from Pinterest)

I slam the door open. Today was not a good day. Kai is cooking dinner, peeling vegetables over the sink. 

What’s wrong, my love?, he asks calmly. 

I don’t know, I’m just so sick of everyone, I say as I take my shoes off. 

I enter the kitchen and I hug him from behind. His steadiness grounds me as well. I rest my head on his back and I start running my fingers over his chest. 

I want to fuck you, I say in a quiet voice. 

He puts the knife down and grabs my hands. 

Your wish is my command, he says, and he turns over to me. 

I look up at him, he’s so handsome with his broad frame, sandy blonde hair, pouty lips and I can’t keep myself contained. I wrap my arms around his neck and I press my lips to his. What starts as a slow kiss turns into a passionate dance, my tongue pushes inside his mouth and his hands are all over my back.

I press myself against him, wanting him as close as possible. 

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me to the bedroom and we lay down. I get on top of him and I start unbuttoning his shirt, kissing his chest and stomach as I descend. His skin is smooth and pale. I unbuckle his pants and push them down. His cock stands tall and inviting. I spend some more time enjoying his body, licking his salty skin, running my tongue over his nipples. 

Please, he whispers with his eyes closed. 

I take off my clothes. All my nerves are tingling, I need him inside of me. I straddle him, lowering myself onto him slowly. He fills me up and I gasp. 

Oh my God, I moan.

I raise myself up and I repeat the movement, and this time I go all the way down. I feel delirious. My hips start moving instinctively and I start riding him, unable to compose myself. He suddenly lifts his torso, grabs my shoulders and pushes me back, pinning me to the bed. He enters me in one violent move and I moan. He starts fucking me, his entire body feels heavy but oh so good on top of mine.

With each powerful thrust, I can feel an orgasm growing. Waves of pleasure run over me as he thrusts one final time, my muscles pound around his cock and I can’t control my moans. My body feels weak, overwhelmed by the immense pleasure and I don’t know what to do with myself. Instead, he does. He doesn’t pull out, he starts thrusting again, faster, his pelvis hitting my clit in a controlled manner. I can feel the pleasure building up again, stronger and this time he also finishes inside of me while I let out a loud scream. My hands and legs are sprawled, I am breathing loudly, unable to open my eyes. 

Are you still angry, my love?, he asks jokingly, drawing his fingers over my throbbing pussy.  

I flinch. He sucks on my ear lobe and kisses my cheek.

Kai, I whisper. I need a second, love. 

He giggles and lays down on his back next to me. 

Warning: sexual content

Keep your head still, I’m not done yet, I command. You’d look like a shriveled prune without me, I say as I coat my lips with a thick layer of lip balm and give him a kiss.

This is my favorite part, he purrs and tries to pull me back for another kiss.

No, no, no, I complain, pretending to put up a fight, but I eventually give up and lock lips with him.

My fingers dig into his hair and he pulls me tighter into his embrace. 

My breasts ache pressed against his strong chest. His fingers run up and down my spine and I instinctively lift a leg and wrap it around his hips. 

Oh, he remarks, smiling at me. 

He lifts me up and I wrap my other leg around him. He pins me against the wall, pushes my underwear to the side and enters me with two fingers. 

Did you apply hyaluronic acid here as well?, he asks mischievously.

I burst into laughter, but as he starts teasing me with his fingers, my laughter turns to moans and my eyelids press together. My lips are hungry for his, I push my tongue inside his mouth. 

He holds me against the wall and teases me with soft strokes. His movements get faster and harder on my clit, and I can feel the tension building up. I let out a gasp and my body goes slack. If it wasn’t for him holding me, I’d collapse instantly. He pushes himself closer into me while unbuckling his belt. He forces himself into my throbbing vagina and I cry out. Pain mixes with pleasure, as he thrusts himself hard inside of me. I can’t compose myself. I can feel another orgasm building up from the steady pounding against my pelvis. A second wave of pleasure washes over me and I can’t control my moans. 

He growls and gives a final thrust all the way inside me. I can feel his warmth filling me up. 

He gently lowers me to the floor and crashes on top of me, with his head on my stomach. My body is limp, arms and legs spread out, my breathing unsteady from the continuous spasms of my abdominal muscles. 

And an orgasm to complete the routine and seal in that stunning glow, he notes as he kisses my belly and draws his fingers over my aching vagina, making me flinch. He then gets up, leaving me on the floor to regain my composure.

Warning: Sexual content, violent sex

Lory's been yapping about her new-found passion in life, the second one this week, and I’m barely keeping it together. The book club used to be fun, but now, the meetings are leaving me feeling drained. Tonight’s no different. Kai is joining me because he is trying to be supportive, but he doesn’t understand why I am still putting myself through this.

Two hours in, and I am fed up. I just want to go back home and doze off in Kai’s arms, listening to him complain about the state of the world. I love my rebellious boy, who’d do anything for me, who’s already done so much, who showed me love and acceptance.

I glance at Kai and I can read the annoyance on his face. He grabs my hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Let’s make a run for it, he whispers in my ear. I nod. 

It’s 10 pm and the city is quiet. There’s a summer chill in the air. We are in the car park, next to our car. 

God, Lory has become such a conceited bitch! he shouts. 

She wasn’t like this, remember when we first joined the book club? Lately she’s changed a lot. Hard to believe, right? The world is growing worse with each passing day, I reply with sadness in my voice. 

But now you have me, he declares.

Yes, I have you, I say. I lift his hand to my mouth and kiss his fingers. I am so angry, you know? Remember how i used to say it's not healthy to self-isolate and that we need to find some social activities as well? God, I am so sick of this shit! Let’s move on top of a mountain and live there, just the two of us! I exclaim. 

Next thing I know, he pins me against the wall of the car park and kisses me. He is towering over me, with his wide frame and strong body. He doesn’t give me the chance to kiss him back. His lips are hungry for mine. After what feels like an eternity, he kisses the tip of my nose and says: I thought you’d never say that. 

Run away with you, you mean?, I ask, my lips raw from the kiss but not taken aback by his passionate display of affection.

Yes, he replies. 

I take his head in my hands and kiss his lips gently. I will run with you tonight if you want me to. 

I want you so badly, June.

I can feel my cheeks flushing. I caress his neck. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer into his body. I want to take you now and here, he commands. 

Kai, I whisper. Are you sure it’s a good idea? 

He cups my breast with one hand, while slowly lifting my dress with the other, looking into my eyes the whole time. My pulse is intensifying. My entire body is warming up. Kai, I mumble as I close my eyes. 

Don’t talk, he commands with a smirk and bites my lower lip hard, pushing me against the wall. 

I can feel the faint taste of blood in my mouth. My entire body is tingling and I become dizzy. 

Kai notices and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his hips.

He pulls my underwear to the side, unbuttons his jeans and enters me right then and there. He is as hard as a rock. I gasp. He covers my mouth with his hand. 

My vagina is so wet and my body is so weakened from all the desire I am feeling for him, that I lose my grip on reality completely, I surrender myself to him. He is pounding vigorously and I couldn’t escape his embrace even if I wanted to. I don’t want him to stop. My heart is pounding in my chest, my grip on his hips has become stronger, pulling him deeper into me.  

After what feels like an eternity, he thrusts one final time, deeply and violently, and finishes in my sore vagina. 

I can feel his sperm dripping on the sides of my legs. 

He lays me on the hood of the black Ford and lowers himself on top of me. He spreads my legs and starts rubbing my clit the way he knows I like it. He pushes two fingers inside of me. I am hungry for him. I can feel my orgasm building up, the heat taking over my body, my muscles tightening. Without any warning, he pushes in a third finger, stretching my pussy and causing an explosive orgasm. My vagina walls are throbing against his fingers. He removes them gently, so as not to hurt me. 

That’s my Venus fly trap, he whispers and pushes his tongue in my mouth. I am so overwhelmed by pleasure, I can't even move.

He takes a step back and looks at me. I must look ridiculous, with my hair disheveled, legs spread open, with his cum dripping all over my legs, on the hood of the car, my muscles still spasming, wanting more. 

You are beautiful, my love.

He takes out a handkerchief, wipes my legs and pushes my hair back. 

He licks the blood from my lips and gives me one final kiss, gentle and warm. He runs his fingers over my sore pussy and I flinch.

To be continued, he giggles.  

Warning: sexual content

Slow days spent in a summer haze with you are the best. You hold me in your strong arms as I doze off. I wake up and you’re still by my side, reading your book, looking as handsome as ever. I wrap my arms around you. You kiss my head. Your burnt orange shirt smells of freshly mown grass. As night comes, we sip cold prosecco on the couch. 

We’re living in a dream and I hope it never ends. Long rides to the beach, picnics in the forest, Sunday grocery shopping, your white convertible, my vintage Chevy, the dog and the vegetable garden – it’s all heaven with you.

You love me even when my head is full of worries.

Stop biting your nails, you say as you grab my hands and kiss my fingers. We have to find a better use for that mouth of yours, you add with a smirk and pull my face closer to yours and press your lips to mine. Your warmth floods me like the summer sun. 

I push you on the couch and get on top of you. I bury my fingers in your hair. I kiss the tip of your nose.

I am all yours, you whisper and close your eyes.

I take off your shirt, revealing your beautiful pale skin. I kiss your strong neck, your chest and start caressing your nipples with my tongue. You moan. 

Is this a good enough use for my mouth?, I ask. 

You gasp and I assume it’s a yes. Your breathing is getting heavier as I continue to kiss your stomach, going lower and lower. 

Please, you mumble. I pull your shorts down and you are as hard as a rock. I begin by sucking on the tip and taking your penis in and out of my mouth. I can feel your breathing growing heavier and your body tenser. 

You finish. 

Warnings: Sexual Content

I am reading on the bed propped up against him. I stretch my back like a cat and he wraps his arms around my torso. I could never get sick of this. He lifts my shirt and runs the tips of his fingers over my skin. Shivers run down my spine and I giggle. His touch always makes me feel like I am floating. I become delirious. His smell, his touch are intoxicating. He kisses my cheek and I caress his face. I turn around and wrap my arms around him. I start kissing his neck, his ears, his temples. I can sense his body tensing and his grip becoming stronger.

He pulls me in closer and I straddle him. I can feel his penis through his shorts. Take them off, I whisper and gently bite his earlobe. I lift my hips and he pushes his shorts off. He is hard. He pushes me on the bed and takes my underwear off as well. I wrap my legs around him.

Do you love me?, he asks softly. 

Always, I answer and press my lips on his warm skin. 

The days spent with him are the best.

I come home excited to enter my fantasy world where he is waiting for me. I imagine he’s there, next to me, holding me, kissing me, loving me. He doesn’t really exist and if he did, I’d probably bore him to death. 

I’d probably suffocate him.

I am afraid things will get worse for me. I am just so exhausted. I can’t find myself, I don’t know who I am, I am just stuck.

I wake up every day to the same sterile routine. I cook, I go to work, I wash myself, I work some more and go to bed. The few hobbies I have are an escape from reality: a crush on some celebrity, my Pinterest profile, a good movie, music, books. But sometimes I am too tired even for these. It is all futile. It is all a joke.

My fear is too strong to allow me to pursue all that I desire. I secrete a poison from within that makes me sick. Je me suis fait mal. The women in my family planted it in me. They made sure I’d be just like them: never happy.

But what they didn’t know is that I wouldn’t be able to accept my unhappiness as my condition and I would try to fight back. And this constant fighting has worn me out. I want to stop fighting and give up. 

I keep waiting for someone to save me, to come and take away the pain, but that will never happen. I am not worthy. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough.

I’ve been feeling stuck lately, stuck in a stale concrete box I can’t escape. No amount of weekend getaways can solve this.

I crave love, I crave acceptance. I want a partner. I crave nature, blue skies and sprawling fields. I desire so little to be happy, yet that little is so hard to get. I am sick of things being so complicated.

They want me to never complain about my work. Work is boring, better pretend you don’t have a job. Doesn’t matter how you finance all the trips, weekend getaways, restaurant dates. Your only job is to wait for him.

They don’t like it when you ask them to wear a condom or get tested for STIs. That’s not cool, that’s too dark. Take the pill, don’t talk about the adverse reactions, the bloating, the depression, the anxiety, the acne, the mood swings, the fatigue. Don’t talk about the Pap smears, the gyno appointments, the yeast infections, the medical bills. That’s boring. 

Don’t talk about hair removal, the folliculitis, the razor burn. That’s not feminine. 

Praise him for being nice, but don’t mention it when he doesn’t call you for days on end because “he is busy at work”. Don’t nag.

Don’t talk too much, don’t be boring. 

You’re a strong independent woman and you pride yourself on your modern values. After all, women don’t have to fit into a category anymore and by that you all know what I mean: marriage, child, career, perfect hair, perfect relationship, perfect body, perfect grooming, perfect menstruation, perfect ovulation.  

But 30 is coming and it’s getting closer and closer and you look at all your other friends, posting beautiful pictures from their family trips and then there’s you, crying on the couch, wondering why you aren’t happy, wondering why you are so unlovable, afraid of your own happiness.

And you tell your therapist and you tell your friends and you tell your mother, who says you are being ungrateful. What is wrong with you? Why are you so fucking miserable? After all, you have a job, you are beautiful, you have a place to live? What’s missing? Why are you so stressed out? And you can’t really give her an answer because you know that no matter what you say, she is right. She is right and you are wrong and there’s nothing missing. 

And while everybody is having  fun, getting laid, going to festivals, cuddling on the couch, you haven’t left the house in two weeks because now you work from home and where are you supposed to go? 

And you’d love to do the same things as everybody else, but there’s always something, isn’t it? Money, a heat wave, winter… You  dread it when somebody asks you out because that means that you’d have to get all dressed up, to face your face in the mirror, your dark circles, your frizzy hair, your untoned body. 

Oh, how you used to move when you were 22, you’d go for long jogs and you’d come home feeling sore and strong and you’d dream of a hunky man, who doesn’t snore. You’d fall asleep cuddling and you’d go on trips and your problems would be solved!

But the hunky man snored and had two kids he didn’t tell you about. And the next hunky man didn’t write to you for six days because he thought you were upset, and, YES, you were testing him because who the fuck doesn’t write to the person they’re with for six days? Hunky man number two came back one year after your break-up, telling you how you might be the one who got away, never once assuming that maybe you got a sex change in one year or, better yet, a lobotomy. And hunky man number three gave you HPV! Oh, what a joy! 

And maybe you’d also love to be a mother one day, but you don’t want to end up like YOUR mother, the sacrificed woman, the working woman who does it all and yet does nothing to actually protect you from her own ego. And in your soul you know you’d be different. And you know you’d want to be a stay at home mom, you’d love to turn a house into a home, but how could you trust a man? You couldn’t. You need to  always be guarded, you need to always be able to land on top. If he leaves you, if he cheats on you, if he gets sick of you, if he gets sick, if he dies, what do you do?