My potions are too strong for you, traveller

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

Peeling the lid off of a yogurt and it's a big spiral staircase going down forever

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

every time my hair is greasy it’s like you might as well just take me out back and shoot me honestly

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

sorry if i weirded you out with my messages earlier (remembers im trying to be more self confident) but actually it was normal of me to do so (becomes nervous im acting superior) because i am a human like everybody else and not better than anyone (remembers i am better than some people) except for really bad people (notices the ideological can of worms opened by previous clause) but anyone can work towards self improvement (remembers im trying to be more self confident) like meeee :)

in class and we were told to pull up chatgpt on our laptops to experiment with and the guy in front of me pulled up a deli menu and started looking at sandwiches