“These are my red flags for women:

If she stabs me more than twice.

If she has a concerning amount of ex-husbands who died on their honeymoon, like... [a brief pause for thought] Like four or more.

If Gozer the Gozerian asks me to choose the form of the destructor and then one of my childhood crushes walks through New York City at 300 feet tall, uh, and steps on a church... [takes a breath and pauses for a second] I mean, it’s not the height! It’s not the height. I like a climb. But, like. [another breath] She stepped on a church. Or any building, really, ‘cause. [deep breath followed by a brief pause] Legally they’re not supposed to be able to ask you about that on like your homeowner’s association application, but- but they’ll ask. They’ll look it up.

Draw your comfort character all bruised and bloody 🙏

Draw them super sweaty and sick 👏

So like a long time ago I had a professor that I absolutely adored. She happened to be Japanese American. She grew up speaking Japanese at home but never really spent a lot of time in Japan. She mostly spoke with other Japanese Americans and read books.

So one day early in her teaching career there’s an exchange student from Japan who’s having a hard time understanding a concept so she explained it to him in Japanese and then he looked absolutely rattled. Like in shock. Pale.

This is how she learned that the way she speaks Japanese makes her sound like a gang member.

League Trio - Animal Beach Ball! vol.2 by TOHO Animation (2026)