smutav

So an argument I see a lot in some “Obi-Wan failed Anakin” posts is saying “Ben failed Luke’s father, he said it himself in ROTJ”.

Now, while I could simply quote LucasFilm creative executive Pablo Hidalgo, who tweeted in 2017…

“If a fictional character thinks something, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right.”

… and leave it at that, I think it’s interesting to see just how far the “Obi-Wan failed Anakin” subplot went with Lucas, before he retconned it into something else entirely.

The original subplot:

In a story conference for Episode VI that was first transcribed in 1981 and later collected in The Making of Return of the Jedi (2013), Lucas discussed this with Lawrence Kasdan and Richard Marquand:

“Ben [takes] the blame for Vader. “I should have given him more training. I should have sent him to Yoda, but I thought I could do it myself. It was my own pride in thinking that I could be as good a teacher as Yoda. I wish that I could stop the pestilence that I’ve unleashed on the galaxy.” His burden is that he feels responsible for everything that Vader has done.”

And in an interview done with in 1996, collected in the book The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005 (which I highly recommend getting, so insightful) Lucas discussed how he planned on portraying Obi-Wan in one of the earliest screenplay drafts for The Phantom Menace:   

“The story has Obi-Wan as a young Jedi in his mid-twenties. He’s ambitious and takes on the mentorship of this kid who starts out about eight or nine years old. […] Even though he’s too old to start the training of a Jedi, Obi-Wan feels the Force is so strong with him that he has to train him as a Jedi. […] Obi-Wan begins as this strong Jedi character but when you see all six movies, you’ll see that what Ben is doing with Luke is very close to the same mistake he made with Anakin.”

So Obi-Wan was the only Jedi we saw for the first half of the script.

And, by the way… he wasn’t always in his mid-twenties. As concept artist Ian McCaig puts it:

“Obi-Wan’s age changed all over the place — at one point he was substantially older, like a youngish 50. For a long time we had a character who was samurai-like, with a ponytail and long sideburns.”

So hey, bottom line (and as illustrated below by artist Doug Chiang):

Obi-Wan, alone, comes to negotiate with the Trade Federation. Just like he and Qui-Gon did in the final cut, he fights his way off the ship, he rescues the Queen…

… and he finds Anakin. 

He is impressed by his skills with the Force. He decides to bring him to the Jedi and he insists that Anakin should be trained.

So far, this is consistent with what is mentioned in Return of the Jedi, and it’s clear that, at this point in time, the narrative Lucas was originally going for was the notion that: “In his ambition and arrogance, Obi-Wan trained Anakin but overestimated his own abilities as a teacher, which ultimately resulted in the creation of Darth Vader.”  

Bringing in Qui-Gon:

But months later, when tackling a newer draft of the script, Lucas decided to split Obi-Wan’s impact on the story into two… and that’s when he made the decision to give a bigger role to another Jedi who originally appeared much later in the film. 

Thus was created a Jedi mentor for Obi-Wan called Qui-Gon Jinn.

“I wasn’t able to develop Obi-Wan’s character fast enough. When I got through the rough draft I realized that I had a second Jedi that comes in about halfway through the script who is an interesting character and the more I thought about it the more I thought of things I could do with these two Jedi together because one alone didn’t have much to react to.”

And when I looked further into it… this isn’t actually new information!

This was also mentioned in the old Databank on earlier versions of StarWars.com, and in The Art of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, in which they also explain that they briefly considered making Qui-Gon be Obi-Wan’s Padwan, and having Ewan McGregor playing “Padawan Qui-Gon”, before they finally settled on having Obi-Wan be the apprentice instead.

Other fun fact: there’s a scanned copy of the 1997 shooting script online (you can download it here)… and in it, you’ll notice that in the scene where they have dinner at Shmi’s house, some of the character description still reads “OBI-WAN” instead of “QUI-GON”, because they forgot to replace some of them :D

But as a result of bringing in Qui-Gon and shifting around the character dynamics, the decision of ambitiously taking Anakin in no longer falls on Obi-Wan… but on Qui-Gon.

How the addition of Qui-Gon changed the subplot:

If we look at things objectively, Qui-Gon saw a boy with an enormous M-count and massive potential in the Force, and figured “this kid must be the Chosen One”. And part of Qui-Gon’s character is that he feels, instead of thinking… he uses his instincts. And his instincts are never wrong (or so he thinks).

But while Qui-Gon’s instincts are correct (Anakin is indeed the Chosen One, no question there), he’s going about it the wrong way.

“So here we’re having Qui-Gon wanting to skip the early training and jump right to taking him on as his Padawan learner, which is controversial, and ultimately, the source of much of the problems that develop later on.”
 - The Phantom Menace, Director’s Commentary, 1999

“I think it is obvious that [Qui-Gon] was wrong in Episode I and made a dangerous decision, but ultimately this decision may be correct.”
 - Cut Magazine, 1999

He’s insisting this kid become a Padawan at once, without having him spend some time with the younglings to adjust… and everyone else is saying that that’s crazy. Cuz it is. But he is unable to consider the fact that he’s mistaken. 
His instincts are never wrong, right? So he just keeps pushing for it.

Then he gets killed and with his dying breath, he forces the task of training Anakin onto Obi-Wan, who hasn’t even gone through the Trials, yet.

So right here, the original subplot has been retconned:

Obi-Wan no longer takes Anakin on because he’s an ambitious big-shot Jedi who arrogantly goes ‘pfft, if Yoda can do it, I can too’.

Instead, at the start, he takes Anakin on reluctantly… not because Anakin’s a problem, but because Obi-Wan feels that he, as a Master, won’t be up to the task. 

Still, he steps up and takes on the responsibility. And while the task itself is ambitious, Obi-Wan doesn’t do it for the “glory of training the Chosen One”. He’s just keeping a promise, by being there for a 9-year-old kid who was taken away from his mother and whose paternal figure just died.

He decides to train the boy, honoring Qui-Gon’s memory. 

The new subplot:

Now, while Obi-Wan’s fear that he may be inexperienced may be accurate in some areas…  it isn’t in others. Namely, Obi-Wan’s ability to deal with a personality like Anakin’s.

Anakin had many character traits in common with Qui-Gon, including the following flaws:

They’re both headstrong, unruly mavericks.

Neither is very forthcoming about their own emotions.

Some people are outgoing, and need someone who will listen. Others are not, and need someone who will ask them and get them to talk. Anakin and Qui-Gon are examples of the latter. They get lost in their own thoughts and don’t open up unless they are pressed.

But this means that Obi-Wan already had experience dealing with this sort of personality before taking on Anakin. So he knows exactly what to do.

Whether Anakin is stressed…

… or is just bottling up his feelings…

… most of the time, Obi-Wan will get Anakin to open up.

(credit to @ashleyeckstein​ for that last GIF)

As Lucas said:

“One of the primary issues between this relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is that this is establishing Obi-Wan as the kind of straight arrow, the center of the movie, and Qui-Gon as the rebel, as the one who’s constantly sort of pushing the envelope. Which will switch itself in the next movie when, rather than having his master be the rebel, he has his Padawan learner become the rebel. I’m using Obi-Wan as sort of this centering device through all these movies, even as we get in with Luke and everybody else later on.” - The Phantom Menace, Director’s Commentary, 1999

Obi-Wan is a centering device.

He’s not so dogmatic that he will do anything the Jedi Council says, though he will try to stay within the lines. That said, you can change his mind, if your point is valid, unlike Qui-Gon who will hunker down on his own stance. 

Obi-Wan is the middle ground (despite what the memes say 😃).

He’s the stable Yin to chaotic Yangs like Qui-Gon or Anakin.

So it turns out that pairing Anakin with a master like Obi-Wan… is actually a great fit! They complement each other, there’s a symbiosis.

And so he trains and practically raises Anakin as a paternal/fraternal figure, they become friends. Then, when Anakin is knighted, they become equals.

Anakin becomes an almost-perfect Jedi Knight, despite the terrible odds he faced. He is brave, kind, generous, powerful, loyal, he’s the best fighter pilot in the galaxy. He is more street-smart than your average Jedi, he has political connections like Bail or Padmé. He’s training a Padawan mere months after being knighted. By the end of the Clone War, this guy’s in the Top 3 fighters of the Jedi Order.

Anakin becomes a goddamn superstar, in the Jedi Order. And Obi-Wan is very proud of the man he’s grown up to be, despite the odds he was facing.

So eventually, Obi-Wan leaves for a mission which could turn out to be just a wild Bantha chase… he imparts one last lesson, says his goodbyes to Anakin…

… and comes back to this.

He is understandably devastated… and, of course, in true Jedi fashion, he blames himself:

But here’s the thing. 

Forget that Obi-Wan is the ultimate selfless Jedi. Let’s put that aside.

Any parent would blame themselves for how their kid turned out. And sometimes? They’d be right to do so. 

This isn’t one of those times. 

Obi-Wan did his best; and Anakin’s choices - influenced though they may have been - were his own.

And that’s the new moral of Obi-Wan’s story, in the Prequels, according to Lucas.

“When you’re in this position as a mentor, whether you’re an actual father or not, this person is your charge, but you have no control over how they’re going to use that knowledge. […] You hope they’ll turn out okay, you hope they do the right things, you hope you raised them right, and all that stuff. But there’s no guarantee or anything. You never know what’s going to happen. That’s the challenge.”

Obi-Wan will never stop thinking he shares some blame in his boy’s downfall. We see that he eventually is able to see things more objectively in From A Certain Point Of View, though, clearly, in Return of the Jedi part of him still feels he is somewhat at fault.

But we, the audience, know: he did his best.

‘66 Bats:

“Of course. I’ll see to it that myself or Alfred gets you home swiftly, but safely. Safety is our number one priority.”

‘97 Bats:

Robin interrupts you to tell you that HE can give you a ride on the back of his Robin-cycle. He claims it’s faster and looks much cooler than the Batmobile. You just want to go home, man.

TDK Trilogy Bats:

“I’ll call you a cab.”

Batfleck:

“Just get in the car. Quick.” He already knows where you live???? The GPS was preprogrammed???

2022 Bats:

“No.”

The LEGO Batman:

“Uh…well, you see. The Batmobile only has ONE seat in it. For me. My seat. BATmobile. For BATman. I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Maybe you could build yourself a Losermobile or something.”

BONUS: Dick!Bats:

“A ride home? In the Batmobile? Bruce used to give me rides in the Batmobile, you know…sometimes, I can still hear his voice….I’m not sure my own voice can measure up, but I have to try…it has to be ME. No one else…I owe it to him…”

‘66 Bats

*whispering*. “Of course. I do come prepared for any situation. I’m sorry about what you’re going through.” And he uses his cape to shield both of you as he hands it over as to not embarrass you in front of everyone. He might even go home and teach Robin about how to be prepared to help anyone in any situation. Even ones that may not be dangerous, may be embarrassing for the person involved.

‘97 Bats

*Makes a show out of giving it to you to prove he’s better than Robin. They’re still fighting btw.*

TDK Trilogy Bruce

“…Did you look in the bathroom. It’s stocked with everything you might need. Take it all I don’t care.” You’re at his bat cave. For some reason.

Batfleck

“Oh. Sure. Here you go.” And maybe he’s the mildest bit annoyed that you interrupted him but whatever. The issue’a dealt with. He even gave you tylenol with one of those tight lipped old man smiles. And then, “You know those are also good for plugging bullet wounds.”

Battinson

He holds one out to you, looking at you intensely. “You’re unprepared.”

Is it a judgement, an observation, a snarky remark? You have no idea there is no way to possibly tell when he speaks in the same tone of voice constantly, but he’s making you feel awkward so you snatch it from him and leave.

The LEGO Batman

“I don’t even know what that is. You’re on your what? Well…Can’t you just make it stop until you’re back at home.?”

BONUS

Arkham Knight Batman

It feels like its been a while since ive posted animations with audio but most of thats because like i keep getting bigger longer projects

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

lake inferior

lake normal

lake offtario

lake hurton

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

#if only he would make the voice deepinator... #would definitely steal that.

Oh no no Dr. Doofenshmirtz goes the other route. He makes his dysphoria everyone ELSES problem.

"Voice-Inator", purpose, "makes everyone elses voice higher, making his seem lower by comparison". Honestly incredible. It's trans AND its evil

Then we have the Bread-Inator, which doesn't SEEM trans coded since it just turns whatever it hits into Bread, but.

"He plans to destroy the statue of Rutherford B. Hayes, the U.S. President with the best beard of them all, by turning it into bread, which will then be eaten by a swarm of hungry magpies that Doof has ready to release. The plan arose because Doofenshmirtz was jealous of people who could grow facial hair and he couldn't."

VERY NEXT EPISODE, Ugly-inator, expressly because of self image problems. Which should be noted he later does again with a handsome setting, which makes him typically masculine-handsome temporarily.

Ballgown-inator, EXPRESSLY to make himself "look manlier in comparison". Really can't state enough he is making his dysphoria EVERYONE'S problem, in true mad scientist fashion.

I didn't even remember this one I'm just scrolling trying to find the moustache one.

Also when he gets turned into a were-cow he has udders. I'm not even hitting backstories this is just off the phineas and ferb wiki entry for -inators.

Okay found the moustache-inator, which ironically enough he's just using because he thinks it's funny to put giant mustaches on people, but the "resents not growing facial hair" tells me this is definitely at least PARTIALLY personal use, cmon now.

And that's the one I was finding so I'm not checking the rest of the -inators, and again this isn't even getting into his.

Extensive childhood backstories.