Smth Meaningful

GOD I just want to be CREATIVE but all my energy is being used to survive

disabled people who do not directly "contribute" to society and need large amounts of care and resources to survive deserve not only to survive but to have comfort, stability, and fun within their lives while they do. no compromises.

does someone else struggle with understanding why someone would want to be with me (especially romantically, but in every aspect really) with all my illnesses and disability? and if someone does, how do you manage it? because I'm not able to see how someone would want to be with me with the burden that i cause to people and all the accommodations I require.

I've reached new limits of tiredness. I'm not tired anymore, I'm exhausted. No, I'm not even exhausted, I'm beyond that. It's something deeper, like it's ingrained in my bones, in my core. I thought that it was just burnout, but now I'm not sure. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe this is really just a burnout, or a symptom of my chronic illnesses, or something else entirely. I don't know. I just know that I'm a teenager and I don't have the energy to get out of bed most days.

GOD I just want to be CREATIVE but all my energy is being used to survive

I am hurting in a way that ibuprofen is not fixing 😃

I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of spending the 'best years of my life' in bed. I'm just tired. So so so tired.