smoothie

Newer authors need to stop writing so good because I get attached to their impeccable writing style and then see that they only have one or two books and I have to wait liek a year for another one

You know what's really annoying? When you're driving with someone who pissed you off but then one of your favourite songs comes on and you cant even sing along cuz you have to be petty and sit in silence

Time to play my favorite game: am I being dramatic or just enforcing healthy boundaries?

If dogs are a man's best friend and diamonds are a woman's best friend... what's a non binary's best friend?

The day I learn how to open up to people without changing the topic after 2 minutes because I ~dont wanna be burden~ is the day its over for you hoes

Hey, babe, sorry I've been MIA, my mind convinced itself that you don't actually like me and you only deal with me because you dont know how to cut me off

Hey Non-Canadians, do your trees scream at you during summer too? Or is that just an us thing...?

Screw drugs, I want the high of being the only one able to open a jar after both my father and older brother could not

Do you follow up every confrontational/depressing text with a random text to soften the blow or are you normal?

Dont mind me, just remembering the time my math teacher and I were arguing abt something and he said "I beg to differ" and I looked this 30 something yr old man in the eye and confidently said "then beg"

Okay so I just read Boyfriend Material and She Drives Me Crazy and now I really wanna fake date someone to see if I could resist falling in love with them. I'm a very petty person so I feel like I definitely could

Hey babe, are you okay? You didnt use any extra letters in your text