Vex

Gosh, I didn’t loose my mind trying to get the background as smooth as it is, no way!!

At least the effort paid off, though!! I do actually get to hang this on my wall now! ✨😋:

Yayyyyyy!!!

Only had the finest of fineliners to my name, so even the thin outlines had to be several passes... Sighhh...

But honestly, I drew this[to be graded at uni, mind you] & sacrificed the life of FOUR pencils (FOUR!!!).

The day before I visited my dearest of beloved friends for the weekend, no less. AND returning on the day I had to turn everything in, too😭😭

1. An's Childhood

An being related to a plant rather than an animal is likely a nod to her communal upbringing, but also the neglect she faced by her parents.

Plants, particularly those in public spaces, are often taken care of by multiple people rather than a set of parents. For An, her roots are in Vivid Street's soil— the community watched over her when Ken and Yuka did not.

An was raised in a similar way to how plants are. Her basic needs were taken care of by Ken and Yuka, but they never acknowledged her emotional needs properly. While An had a cheerful disposition her whole life, her resentment and insecurities only grew with age. The distance between An and her parents is palpable, especially in earlier stories.

After all, they only saw that her petals never wilted.

2. The Infantilization of An

A large portion of An's struggles throughout her life are a consequence of misogyny. The symbol of a flower (one that is stereotypically feminine) embodies An's girlhood and how she is infantilized because of it.

Despite An being around thirteen or fourteen years old at the time of Nagi's diagnosis with terminal pancreatic cancer, Nagi assumed that her death would be enough to kill An's passion for singing— she viewed An as too fragile to handle the truth. Nagi selfishly convinced the whole town and even An's parents to lie to her, an action that ultimately took away An's right to grieve over Nagi properly and directly caused her to develop attachment issues— as she was misled for years that Nagi had abandoned her for a career in America.

The reason why all those adults infantilized An so easily is simple— her gender. If An was a boy, she would be assumed to be tough enough to handle it— because that is "what men are supposed to do."

But the truth is, that while An does act tougher than she actually is, she is not frail. She is incredibly determined, hardworking, and passionate— having gone through many hurdles to get where she is now.

She fights back without hesitation to the people that wrong her— lashing out at Ken for lying to her and only accepting any apologies on her terms. She defends herself, knowing full well that she's been treated unfairly— their good intentions do not erase the hurt she has faced.

When they plucked the rose from its soil, they did not anticipate the thorns lining the stem.

3. An's Relationship to Her Gender

With the mention of roses comes the discussion of the event that delves into An's gender extensively— Wishing for your Happiness Beyond the Blue Sky.

The event is one that tackles An's internalized misogyny and discusses her gender expression.

Throughout the event story, An is notably insecure about wearing a wedding dress, believing that the tuxedo that Shizuku is wearing would fit her better. She tries to act more mature while wearing it— revealing the true narrative purpose of the dress.

An is not uncomfortable with wearing the dress because of her stylistic preferences— instead, it is that she believes she is not womanly enough to wear it. After being confronted by Shizuku, however, An learns that her usual personality can coexist with the dress, and she has a great time!

However, this brings An to a relevant realization at the end of the event. She pieces together that she was trying to act more like Nagi when she was in the wedding dress, as An saw herself as unladylike in contrast.

An's preference in clothing and her "boyish" personality is the reason why she subconsciously saw herself as "less of a woman." In other words, An infantilized herself because of her lack of adherence to traditional gender norms.

The flower is a representation of how An views herself. But now, the flower has changed from a symbol of infantilization and neglect to one of joy and confidence.