i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000

Bitch thats me

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

Storu

Is this actually real

This shit my future job..

I will clarify that this is real. I actually do this in my spare time for gift cards and stuff to make online purchases.

Collage kids take notes.

help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

damn who took all their honey

“this doesn’t work…” *throws laptop into the sun* “YEET”

What’s your fantasy?

I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.

reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true

*15 years old boy voice* alcohol

alcohol

i could be an animal crossing villager! i’m round. i wear the same shirt every day. and i am easily befriended when the other party does anything nice for me

honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.

that was a religious experience

me

I’ve never seen a butt-mounted camera, but damn, this dog knows where he wants to go, and goes there fast.

His little ears flopping in he wind

THIS IS THE QUALITY CONTENT I WANT TO SEE