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- wake up with your alarm. don’t lie there for another half an hour. seize the day

- have a glass of water as soon as you wake up and before you go to sleep. hydrate

- stretch. do some yoga. try and do the splits or even just touch your toes. relax and meditate and focus on your breathing

- even if you’re not going out, change your clothes and your underwear. clean is always better

- go for run. or a walk. or to the gym. even just once a week. just get outside

- read a little everyday. maybe for leisure or maybe for class. just learn

- new music is always lush. spotify, apple music, a live gig. go hear someone’s heart

- cut things out that make you unhappy. people, relationships, certain foods, habits, anything

- study hard. work hard. get it. the job, the degree, the relationship. just do it for you

- check your boobs everyday. make doctors appointments

- eat a piece of fruit and veg everyday. we all know 5 a day is far fetched, especially for students

- compliment people. you never know how much someone needs to hear something positive

- compliment yourself. look at yourself in the mirror and say five things you like and maybe one to improve. you can always better yourself but don’t make that your be all and end all

- a relationship should never be your everything. it’s lush to be smitten and to have someone smitten with you but be sure not to become half a person. you are a whole. reclaim your independence. learn to love your solitude

- don’t forget your friends. keep in touch with people. don’t be glued to your phone but make sure you stay in contact

- give yourself time to heal. grief is a weird thing and time isn’t always the healer. you’ll have good days and bad days and you should never feel bad for crying. it’s not over and you don’t have to move on in the way people think you should. memories are good things

- don’t put so much pressure on yourself. eat that pizza. buy that charity shop coat. there’ll always be money and there’s always tomorrow to eat a salad. calm down

- stress is the silent killer. you don’t need that first degree or that promotion. do your best and you’ll be rewarded

- say fuck it once in a while. or a lot. a couple of g&ts, a party, a new outfit

- have sex or don’t have sex. it’s a lot of fun when your needs are met and you’re enjoying yourself with someone you love or just like the look of

- withdraw consent if you get uncomfortable. at the beginning, middle, end, it’s always okay. don’t let social expectations dictate your choices. the idea of being a slut doesn’t exist unless you’re hurting someone you’ve made monogamous promises to. other than that you’re good

- get checked and be good to your body. sex is great if your mind and body are good with it too

- take photos. paint. write in a journal. document your life. you never know when you’ll need some nostalgia or a creative outlet

- families aren’t perfect but they’ll always be in your life in some way. in person or in your heart and memory. try to make them good memories. there are those without parents and siblings and grandparents who would give anything to have what you have. try a little. take the higher ground

- mental health is important. cut out anything that could contribute to its downfall. your mind’s long life is more important than temporary fixes

- listen to the people close to you. most of the time they have your best interests at heart and they’re trying to help you see what maybe you can’t. don’t take things so personally

- we’re living in a time of hate. be a ray of sunshine to this dark world. don’t seclude yourself to your own cave. that isn’t what self love is. we need to take care of ourselves first, yes, but remember to love each other too

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.