Musing

Maybe I am being too cynical thinking that after this thing (coronavirus pandemic) what we are going back to is nothing good anyway. I want to give my thoughts a loud chance to be in the open and wonder. So here I go:

When it gets better we go back to our daily routine. What is that? Our job, our day to day grocery shopping, our quest to make it big in life and our ignorance to everything else.

Now what is everything else? When I ask this I don’t mean the things that needs global support. But just our support. What is it to me? For me it would be my happiness. My happiness is very meticulously weaved with the people around me. No matter how much I deny it, my happiness comes from what I make of my surroundings. Positive vibes, smart suggestive people and those who don’t climb the ladder by pushing you down. All this require making the right choices. So now I not only need to work towards the choices I make but also how I make those choices.

Taking a decision is unfortunately deeply linked with our experiences. Experience are only understood once we dwell into our past, learn from it, stop dwelling and work on our present with the knowledge we got. The most common mistake or atleast the mistake I do to stop at dwelling. Even if I learn I don’t get out of my past. This makes it hard to take decisions. This is precisely what I fear life for. The continuous need to take decisions keeping the experience and not the past.

With the end of this (screaming my fears out) I now know what my next days of lockdown will be like. Identifying what needs to change, evaluating on how it will change and most importantly accepting that it is going to change.

I stood far from all the things I saw

Learning what is the worst for mankind

I decided not to take the stroll

I kept on walking hoping it was the parallel road

Yet met at intersection of what I thought I ignored

Found myself amidst of all

Making errors often frowned upon

The experience i got from seeing was the frame

I was participating in the life’s game

I went through the happiness

Which is often followed by pain

I was searching for the silver lining

Knowing the dark sky is my gain

Invested in it

Forgot what will come

I knew the pain of mankind

Yet made the run

The bliss of ignorance

Does not really matter

Life catches up

Even when you know the next chapter

You taught me to stand alone

You taught me to be brave

You taught me to accept

You taught to say

With you the world looked simpler

Without you it won’t be the same

You took care of a child

You saw me grow

You gave me choices

You let me choose

With you i had all the liberty

Without you recklessness can’t be the way

I may not have accepted all u said

I may have said things unwanted

But you managed never to cringe at me

Nor did you sway away

You have been my rock

My personal pillar of strength

You are my very own advisor

My go to person as well

I miss you as you go

I wish you stayed

Can’t stop you anymore

As you fly away

We started of as outlanders 

Amidst a strange city 

On a new adventure 

With little knowledge of our destiny 

While I was coming out of my shell I saw you doing the same 

Our quest may have been different But same journey remained 

Eventually your presence was hard to ignore 

I started to seek for you in your crowd 

The brain knew your mob wasn’t mine 

So I tried pushing away from your sight 

Well it wasn’t easy I’d say 

But I had a determined heart

You chose another course 

And my meal got modified

The cosmos had disparate plan, I guess 

As you got added to my platter again 

This was not the same, you see 

As we picked distant “chairs” 

Though on different roads Our paths kept colliding

I admit I loved the intersections 

While my heart and brain were fighting

I was hooting for the brain 

You obviously took the Heart’s side

I said our lifestyles are different 

You asked if i really mind? 

The heart had to win

Cause you convinced the mind 

We had a great start 

But soon entered the tortuous lane 

I was quick to lay down 

Yet you kept fighting

Not to get away 

But to stand beside me 

Then I realised I had found my gem 

The shiniest diamond was now mine 

I had to remain careful 

As my recklessness cannot screw up this time 

Hence I don’t want to lose this moment 

And let you know how much I love you 

I love you for siding with my heart 

I saw you that night You were happy and looked like me You wore top and tights And had everything just right

You were rich and sophisticated You seemed to have answers to all my troubles You had the power to talk me into anything But you seemed too far to conquer

The next night I saw you You were dressed in red You looked sharp and wise I wanted to meet u and say everything nice

You seemed to like crowded places It was difficult to see you this time I jumped cried n screamed But u remained still and not see

I did not loose hope just yet I knew I will talk to you one day Even though it was difficult to reach you I wanted to see you come what may

As days went by I lost the image of  you I knew I will see you one day But it was not coming anytime soon

I had too many things to do Before I actually get close to you I wanted to be prepared Like what I want to say when I meet you

I worked day and night Your thoughts occupied my brain You were a big fish to fry

And finally i was ready to say hi This time i reached you You were talking to someone else I was envied that they got to you before I could So just for a second I looked away

You were gone again when I glanced back But I was happy this time I was dressed in red And I looked simple and wise

Humans are so messed up. One small thing can upset us but to make us happy one thing is never enough. We spend most of our lives seeking approval from people we barely know but appreciation of our loved ones is often ignored. Even though we keep our hopes alive, one failure demotivates us. We find solace in company but still feel suffocated in a crowd. We don’ t know what we want but expect people to know what we need. We hide our emotions scared that we may seem too weak but we do want people to know how we feel. We are so hypocritical but that is what makes us normal and sane. Accepting the norm has never been our thing, we would rather be crazy and happy.

The world knows change She tried indulging in it She lost her innocence It cost her everything

This world, she never understood It said what she shouldn’t do She saw the world liked a rebellion Revolution is what she never knew

She was always bold She spoke her heart cold With speeding time and age She lost the words to be told

It became convoluted for her Yet she tried being herself Unique is what she admired But she was never adored

She looked at the night sky Wondered what infinity was Sooner she realized Infinity is all she ever saw.