release me

clark reupload

Part one begins with two sock puppet people. One holds up a paper with a drawing of Clark and says: “This is my OC, his name is Clark.” The other one smiles and says: “Wonderful, what sort of OP powers does he have?” The creator of Clark says: “None.”

Their friend says: “Ok thats cool..ls he attractive at all?” Clark’s creator says: “No he’s quite below average honestly.” Their friend’s face falls and they ask: “Ok well what about an over dramatic back story?” Clark’s creator says: “not really, his parents love him very much.” The friend frowns: “Ok well where is he from? Hell? A magic forest?” Clark’s creator says: “connecticut.”

Part two starts with Malfina’s entrance. She booms: “MORTALS BOW DOWN, I AM MALFINA THE DEMON WITCH AN- woah dude you are a solid 4/10.” Clark says: “Howdy i’m Clark want to come over to my parents’ house for a connecticut dinner”. (Note: “Connecticut” is spelled wrong). Malfina stares, then squints and asks: “what.”

Part three starts with Clark saying: “Welcome to my parents’ home.” The view changes to show Clark’s parents. They look just like him, but one wears a red bow and one wears a top hat. They say: “We are proud parents, please drink the connecticut water.” Clark’s mother holds out a glass of bright yellow-green liquid. Malfina looks down with horror at the glass, then looks up with a frown and says: “I do not want the connecticut water.”

Part four starts with Clark’s mother saying: “You look like a cold harlot out in a snowstorm, here is a sweater.” She holds out a pink sweater that says “connecticut kitty” with some kind of animal on it. Malfina puts her hands to her mouth in delight and says: “oh.” Clark’s mother says: “I baked it fresh for you this morning.” The view zooms in on Malfina’s face, her eyes wide and shadowed as she says: “what.”

Part five starts with a woman of similar form to Clark. Her head is elongated, and she is wearing a green bow. She says: “Hey clark who’s this hussy you’re with? I just won "miss tall head connecticut”. Why don’t you get with me a REAL woman.“ Malfina looks unimpressed as she says: "I could vaporize you.” Clark interjects: “Now you hold on right there Cindy, this gals got a heart of gold and you can’t talk down to her like that.” Malfina’s expression does not change, but she blushes very faintly.

Revelations 16:3

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.