and i have to live with that

Ok first of all mcu tony stark is literally based off of elon musk

also they’re canonically friends

Secondly. 

1) Tony locks Peter’s bedroom door to preserve the secret of Peter’s identity, which is obvious Peter’s choice because he’s in a fucking costume that hides his entire face and body. 

2) Given that Tony actually could not break himself free from Peter’s webbing? We’re shown pretty well that if Peter wanted to decline, all he had to do was web Tony up and drop him off at Stark Enterprises. 

3) Peter said “I have homework” and Tony says, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” giving Peter an excuse to agree with him and go fight at the airport. 

4) Yes, Tony threatened to tell May. Know when else he did that? To keep Peter from fighting while injured at the airport. Could have let Peter keep going, but he did not. he put Peter’s welfare first. 

and, oh yeah. 

He built Peter a brand goddamn new suit, in what, a couple of days? Assuming of course, he didn’t already have it made for the spider kid on YouTube and was just wondering when to approach him when Civil War happened. 

1) if Tony’s so concerned with peter’s secret identity why does he keep threatening to reveal it to May? That’s just another tool he can leverage over Peter.

2)ur boy’s got lasers I’m pretty sure he could have figured it out. And he’s already shown he knows who peter is(and has the necessary resources to make peter’s life he’ll if he wanted to for refusing) like how do you imagine him webbing up tony stark! Of all people and dropping him off at stark industries would look- hell tony might just out him out of spite for being humiliated- plus how would peter explain that to aunt may?

3) that’s not an excuse it’s a dismissal because peter is not saying what he wants- this is a coercive conversation. tony is showing peter he won’t take no for an answer.

4)tony threatens to tell aunt may because he’s running out of nicer cards to play, he’s tried appealing to peter’s sense of glory, in fighting for the avengers. He’s tried to appeal to peter’s need for new tech and backup- the only thing left is threatening to fuck with peter’s life if he doesn’t comply. And also I don’t think he should get points for pulling a 14 year old child out of an armed conflict he never should have been in in the first place.

Also does not include Elon Musk, because he basically tells Hammer the same thing–you make something that works, we’ll get you a spot at the Expo. Doesn’t mean they’re friends. 

He keeps using that threat when Peter’s not listening. It’d be like a parent telling a kid hey, gonna tell your dad if you don’t shape up, which is not coercion, it’s dealing with a kid. 

Tony has a suit, Tom Ford I think he says at the raft, and that’s it. He’s not there as Iron Man. I agree he’s probably NOT defenseless, but it’s a testament to Peter’s strength and speed that he can outwit Tony in the moment. And, yes, given that neither Tony nor the goddamn vibranium arm of the Winter Soldier could break his webbing, I’m pretty sure that Peter could’ve spun a cocoon around Tony.   Probably not LITERALLY swung him through the air and dropped him literally on the road in front of the tower, that was a bit of hyperbolic exaggeration. but you get my point, which is Peter is far from defenseless. 

I’m just going to quietly point out that this kid is ALREADY DOING DANGEROUS SHIT IN A PAIR OF PAJAMAS AND WHAT LOOKS LIKE WELDERS GOGGLES. I mean, he’s what, ACTUALLY CATCHING BUSES? I have to think Peter’s safer with Tony, with a properly decked out suit with safety options, and being supervised. And not, oh, idk, THROWING HIMSELF IN FRONT OF AN OUT OF CONTROL BUS. 

Tony has no right to threaten peter with anything he’s not a parent to peter he’s a virtual stranger at this point and is manipulating peter in order to get what he wants. Going to Germany and fighting the avengers isn’t in peter’s best interest it’s in Tony’s.

We see he snuck a gauntlet into the govt building earlier in the same movie even though he said he didn’t and it’s super duper illegal to sneak weapons into hyper secure govt installations. It’s far more likely he has something on him then not. But even if he doesn’t tony Stark’s power in this scene isn’t physical power, it’s all of his money and influence. If peter refuses him tony stark has the power to ruin his life in so many ways. Power is a lot more complex than physical strength.

Peter’s stopping muggings and maybe helping out with car crashes, the kind of violence you might expect in regular city crime is very different from a battle with people shooting missiles. Not to mention that tony taking peter to another country without the knowledge or permission of his guardian is legally kidnapping. There’s a difference between a child doing dangerous things of his own accord and an adult choosing to bring that child into a physical fight he should have had no part of. That also breaks the laws pretty much every country in the world have against child soldiers.

Watching spideyvids isn’t the same thing as tracking this child down, learning all of his personal information, and making him an outfit.

Nick fury was recruiting actual adults who’s identities were public, and who unambiguously consent to being in the avengers.

Oh, I can and will.

Tony would start a new branch in his company to produce desinfectant, except that he'd sell one bottle for 50 dollars because its a Stark product and so much better than any of the others.

He'd spend the whole time on a yacht in the pacific, having his food, staff and play girls brought in via helicopter.

He'd donate 500 ventilators to the hospitals in New York, you know, just about enough to say that he used his enormous wealth for something but not enough for it to be an actual effort.

And then, he'd get special permission from the government, using his lobby ties, to be the first company in the country to open up and start production again, just so he can get a headstart on the competition, no matter how many lives he endangers.

Because Tony Stark's just like any other billionaire out there. Sits on a mountain of money, using it to make more money, and now and again goes "yeah, i guess i can donate a couple thousand for this charity". He's one of the richest people in the world and instead of looking at what he has done, we should look at what he hasn't.

Tony Stark: Privileged, pampered, self-obsessed billionaire who's never encountered a situation he couldn't buy or blast his way out of and only acknowledges problems when they affect him directly. Would not recognize common sense if it came up and bit him on his Savile Row clad ass.

Steve Rogers: A poor, sickly boy who barely survived the pandemics that swept through the crowded, impoverished neighborhood he grew up in. Only living child of a public health nurse who herself contracted fatal tuberculosis while working in a TB ward.

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ok but LITERALLY. the govt is literally the bad guys of the mcu, & when the water got to hot they tried to gaslight the public into hating the avengers. the avengers were the scapegoat.

-when the chitauri invaded, the world council wanted to NUKE nyc. without the avengers, the entire city and all of its inhabitants would have been blown up.

-the us govt RECRUITED nazis, which allowed them to infiltrate the govt. Yes hydra was behind project insight but No one at shield had ANY problem with giant guns until hydra planned on actually using them.

-ALSO thaddeus Ross was a HORRIBLE person. He illegally experimented on prisoners, he lied to bruce banner, he hunted bruce banner, he wanted to use the hulk as a weapon, and if he had gotten his hands on steve’s dna he would have tried to replicate the serum for personal gain

if the avengers hadn’t been there, MILLIONS of people would have died. yes people died while they were protecting the masses, but if the govt had their way, sooooo many more would have been killed.

Even if we agree with Fangirl Jean that Kylo Ren was queer coded and femme coded (which I don’t – to me, Kylo Ren is the avatar of every privileged white boy who is still pissed off that his parents grounded him for smoking weed in his Corvette when he was 18), I doubt that many people hate and mock him for his hair style.  They mock him for throwing temper tantrums when he’s second in command of a galaxy-sized conspiracy to overthrow the government.  They hate him for being Himmler and making sure that the First Order’s genocide of the Hosnian system went off without a hitch.  They hate and mock him for murdering his own father in order to become a fully actualized human being.  

Even if we agree that Tony Stark is bisexual and female-coded, (which I don’t – he’s a mashup of every rich white man who is so wealthy he can’t conceive of rational limitations on his own desires and dreams, a la’ Hughes/Disney/Trump/Musk, so much that his sexuality is irrelevant.  By the way, it’s not the fact that he operates on a different level that is his flaw, it’s his lack of awareness of how he uses that advantage), I doubt many people hate and mock him for his emotional volatility.   It took three days for Tony to create Ultron, and he did because his reaction to the Scarlet Witch’s head game was more important than the fact that he kept it a secret from the people he’s supposed to be working with.  It’s not that he signed the Sokovia Accord, it’s that he kept saying “we need to be kept in check” when he meant “I need to be kept in check so I don’t feel guilty anymore.”  

Even if we agree with the idea that Loki is queer-coded, female-coded, Jewish-coded, and mentally ill, (which I don’t.  History and literature are full of second sons who so over-valued their potential that they felt this gave them the right to rebel, and the vast majority were terribly straight murderers.   Long hair and a cape doesn’t make you queer-coded or female-coded, and I have a much more terrible idea where they got Jewish-coded from, so I ain’t even going to touch it.)  he needs to be taken down a peg because he exiled his brother through deception, tried to murder him with a plasma-based mystical robot, and joined forces with an evil dictator whose stated goal was killing half the universe in order to enslave the human race.

Can we not agree that mass murder is bad?   Can we not agree that non-mass murder is bad?   Can we not agree that if you almost cause the extinction of the human race, that you might be due for a little humble pie?  Can we not agree that patricide, fratricide, and genocide are issues that have to be addressed?