relax, relapse again

Im not one to rant. Especially on social media but honestly. I have had a VERY bad few weeks. Hey I've had worse but I am so angry and disappointed. My work had been beating me down for months, telling me im not worth anything and that I will always fail. So much so that I went to a bridge and the police had to take me home to my poor boyfriend to keep me safe. I have come off one antidepressant to go onto another tomorrow. My whole fucking family have come 300 miles to try keep me safe. I have tried and tried since I was 14 to beat this fucking illness and 6 nearly 7 years on here I am on the bathroom floor fucking drunk again because I cant cope with fucking day to day life. Bastards from my work messaging me like "youre so lucky you got to quit everything must be so good for you now" I AM UNEMPLOYED I CANT PAY MY RENT. MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS THINKS IM A PSYCHO. MY PARENTS AND STEPDAD THINK I SHOULD BE LOCKED UP. I'm starting my new meds tomorrow I am fine honestly I just had to say something to somewhere because there is a 12 week waiting list for psychiatric help in this damn city.