KEKE PALMER ━ Photographed by Greg Williams for British Vogue (July 22, 2022)
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KEKE PALMER ━ Photographed by Greg Williams for British Vogue (July 22, 2022)

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from Brambly Hedge by Jill Barklem
a long time ago i learned that a big part of your life needs to be undocumented and just simply enjoyed in the present. you don’t need to post a picture of the book your reading for it to be good. you don’t need to have a pic of you posing before the sea as proof that u had a good trip. there’s a very fine line between manufacturing moments for future nostalgia and honoring happy experiences by commemorating them into art. and it’s all about intention: do i want to take a picture because it would look good on ig or do i want to take a picture because i do not want to forget how insanely happy i am right now? or, preferably, do i even need to take a picture at all?
i disagree with this wholeheartedly. wholeheartedly. not because of the social media aspect, not because of instagram — with that i do agree, and we do have to be careful when it comes to social media —, but i think it’s such a valid thing to do, to document little moments of joy to look back to them in the future. beautiful, even. maybe i’m just way too attached to nostalgia, but i love seeing pictures i took of small moments and that never left my camera roll, i love reading my old journals, i adore reading old letterboxd entries that i wrote even though nobody other than me reads them. but more than that, it brings me so much joy to document things. to look at my day to day life as something noteworthy, something i’ll one day look back to. taking those pictures or writing about my day or even writing reviews on letterboxd or, heck, even posting a cute instagram pic of my day or something makes me savor those moments more, makes me look at them with a new appreciation. and i do it for myself, for my own eyes. i do it because i look to make little records of my life, to keep a loving record of my existence and what i am constituted of. even when they aren’t insanely happy moments. because life is something so rare and amazing, and i love to document it. maybe, and just maybe, not everything is about public consumption. sometimes we just want to find small moments of joy in our day to day lives. there’s nothing wrong with doing things “for the aesthetic”, as long as it brings you joy.
^^^ this. we deserve to romanticize our lives however we wish and document them as much as we want.
“Mean girls all grow up to be nurses!”
“Mean girls all go into social work!”
“The mean girl to teacher pipeline!”
Y’all, these are just pink collar jobs. The reason you think there’s so many “mean girls” in these fields is because they’re all like 97% women. Of course some of them are gonna be assholes. There’s assholes everywhere.
We get it. Your job isn’t like other girls’ jobs. It’s a cool job.
it’s true that there are some incredibly cruel people in all of these professions.
it’s also true that they all suffer from chronic underpayment, overwork, lack of institutional support, and insane bureaucratic demands that would make them fail the people in their care all the time even if every single one was a saint.
That’s absolutely missing the point.
While those are all “helper” professions and they very much are pink collar (and are underpaid, that’s not an incompatible idea), they’re also ones that involve power over vulnerable people’s lives. (And I’ve only encountered it as a comparison to, say, male bullies becoming cops, it’s not like men aren’t being mentioned here.)
Secretaries/administrative assistants aren’t on that list for a reason. Flight attendants aren’t on that list. Housecleaners aren’t on that list. Receptionists. Customer service representatives. Dental hygienists. The people who style hair or do nails. That’s not a list of pink collar jobs. It’s specifically (pink collar) positions where if you want to abuse people you’re relatively likely to get away with it.
It can both be true that “nurses who care for disabled people need better pay” and “nurses who care for disabled people have a lot of opportunities to abuse their power and that’s something worth talking about.”
Women aren’t immune from treating people badly because they’re women, or because women are underpaid. They’re sure not immune from specifically seeking out jobs that will allow them to be cruel without any consequences to them, if they get personal satisfaction out of being cruel.
You are trying to shut down a conversation about abuse.

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