Luca ☾

Please.

(this was originally gonna be a reblog but that wouldve been too long. the post im responding to can be read here.)

i agree that people are missing the point of tomgreg's 4x01 scene. there's nothing weird about discussing your sex life with your friends, even if you're both men! however, even without taking into account their feelings for each other, there is an inherent queerness to tom and greg in that they are not comfortable with what is expected from them as straight men. their mutual struggles to follow homosocial conventions and/or heteronormativity are undoubtedly queer (end note #1).

greg's issues, of course, crop up in his (futile) relationships with women. he doesn't know how to feel about or treat them, so he plays an imitation game, oscillating between two popular archetypes of straight man. the first, a real Romeo, wide-eyed and halfway in love (i've met the most wonderful girl in the world); the second, a womanizer, happy to jump from girl to girl in sexual ecstasy (it's a guilt-free switch-up). greg can't date women without embodying either one of these roles because it simply does not come naturally to him. genuinely unbothered, he'll make the switch between sentences:

but how do we know he's not just a secret third thing, a slippery heartbreaker, lying to girls to get in their pants? in that case, why lie to tom, too? it's not something you need to hide from your best friend, especially as men (READ END NOTE #2 IF YOU HAVE AN understandable ISSUE WITH THIS STATEMENT, OR EVEN IF YOU DON'T) who have dubbed themselves the literal Disgusting Brothers.

and is greg really just "having fun being a womanizer"? the thing is, he's consistently not. he's separate-bedding. he's rummaging to null. he's grabbing for the next rung on the dating ladder without bothering to appreciate the view. concisely: he is not getting anything out of his relationships with women. except, maybe, reactions from tom.

tom's heteronormativity problems are centered around masculinity (end note #3). this would take another just-as-long post to get into, but it intersects with greg's contradictionxs in a critical way: he has not once encouraged or congratulated greg on his exploits w/ women!!! i cannot emphasize how important getting laid is for men (READ END NOTE #2 AGAIN). tom will praise some of greg's character evolutions, except for the ones most universally celebrated? tom is 1. a straight man who 2. has been grooming greg for success, which is often characterized as having lots of sex and money and power... and he can't even make fun of greg for not coming? like, greg, you literally had one job. there are so many things i would expect to hear from a conversation like this, and tom just doesn't deliver. tom is unhappy with these new greg developments for unconventional reasons (👀) and didn't bother to scold greg for screwing up.

the point is, greg fails to enthusiastically pursue straight relationships. tom fails to hype him up about it. television's worst wingman dynamic is fronted by two men who really Do Not want to be there. 👍

end notes:

like yes, we know that tom is upset with greg because he’ll be leaving for parks and he won’t going to prison. you could read more deeply into that, but set it aside for a moment. tldr; our pathetic meow meow, tom wambs, has offered to go to prison for logan and he’s regretting it.

i believe the nero/sporus comparison is homoerotic enough on its own –– but one could play devil’s advocate and say that tom only wants companionship from greg because shiv has been offering him little to none. and because of the prison ordeal, he’s in desperate need of both companionship + emotional support. it’s been established that he projects the failures of his marriage onto greg, so –– fair enough? push your wife down the stairs, castrate your assistant. cool.

+ in a deeper sense, the nero/sporus metaphor is seemingly tied to tom’s feelings of emasculation. it’s no surprise that tom says this hours after he challenges shiv’s dominance in their relationship and loses ... miserably.

correct me if i’m wrong, but sexual practices in ancient rome were based on activity and passivity –– aka, masculine dominance and feminine submissiveness. (citing my classics prof for this, lmao.) from what i’ve gleaned, this dichotomy is what defined social views on homosexuality in ancient rome.

it would make sense for tom to read this story of an ancient roman emperor and be reminded of his desire to be more dominant/masculine in his relationships.

summarily, if he can’t be dominant in his relationship with shiv, he can be dominant in his relationship with greg. it’s an unromantic perspective, but ... oh well. succ isn’t too romantic to begin with. it would also be a way for tom to (unhealthily) reconcile with his romantic feelings toward greg. ie., sure, i’m attracted to him, but that doesn’t make me any less masculine. just think of nero the emperor!

it seems to me that tom wants to be seen as a masculine man. (as a matter of fact, he makes mention of his masculinity in the scene above.) which is understandable, given that his relationship with siobhan is depicted as very unequal. so yeah –– it could be written off as standard feelings of emasculation coming from a man, but honestly?

i’d argue that due to a lifetime of repression, internalized homophobia & some preconceived notions, tom believes that his homosexual desires make him less masculine. i believe it stems from his repressed homosexuality. like –– why else would he be so desperate to appear masculine, despite ... not being very masculine by nature.

(he may have even sought out this story in particular so that he could feel better about having these romantic desires for a man to begin with ...)

so that explains the nero/sporus reference.

but when tom says “wrestle me to the ground”, what is he asking for? as in, that is a genuine question. maybe i’m just tomgreg-pilled, but it really does seem like:

tom is just so desperate to know greg’s touch that he’s willing to wrestle him, like the nude men who fought in bygone stadiums. (something which conveniently relates to that book about the romans that tom mentions.)

he’ll never know his touch as a lover, tom tells himself –– so he’ll have to settle for this. after all, he’s being sent to prison and greg is all set for his new career in parks, where he’ll no doubt forget all about him. it’s now or never.

it’s an act of desperation.

and greg says no, understandably –– but tom persists. he’s worked himself up, fists raised, pushing greg up against a wall. a force of anger and repression. as usual, he’s just too much. he’s self-destructing. at last, greg stands up for himself tells tom to stop, which he does. it’s then the humiliation sets in. he’s humiliated himself.

and THIS –– this is when it comes full circle.

tom feels stupid and embarrassed, so he tries to make greg feel doubly stupid and embarrassed by mocking him. it’s a see-through attempt at saving face. downright childish.

he then looks spurned and troubled for a few moments before he shouts, “neither do i, greg! it was a JOKE, you idiot!” when it ... obviously wasn’t.

he’s the picture of someone who’s been rejected and can’t seem to take it: hurt and defensive.

it’s strange, no? tom bullies greg all the damn time and he’s never once thought to make excuses about it. he doesn’t feel an ounce of shame when he calls greg a coke whore in front of kendall. but this time –– this time he feels embarrassed.

and i immediately think back to their first conversation. the infamous “would you kiss me? if i asked you to?” because ... tom said that was a joke, too. maybe it wasn’t.

Fake Tom dating sim

reuploaded because I majorly beefed it, if you saw this before no you didn’t

Vehicular Manslaughter Wedding Shuffle! 🕺💃✨

+ little gifs I made