Here We Go Again

someone beating the shit out of me , then tenderly holding my hair and rubbing my back as i throw up in the bathroom. drooling. yeeesss give me mixed signals yeeessss

Hold on, stop asking questions, just let me explain okay? If you don’t listen I’m going to have to give you more more of that stuff that makes things all fuzzy, and as fun as that is for me, you don’t really remember anything after I give it to you, do you. I need you to try really hard to listen, the lasting effects of everything in your system should help you do that, it’s supposed to anyway.

I would never hurt you, I’ve told you that over and over again since we’ve met- no shut up, i’m serious, you need to stop talking right now and just fucking listen. Let me finish, it’ll all make sense. When I say, I would never hurt you, I mean it what I’m doing right now isn’t hurting you. Nothing I do has the capacity to hurt you. That’s not how this works, everything I do no matter how it feels to you is good for you.

Yes sure yes, I kidnapped you, okay? Is that what you want me to say? God you’re being so dramatic. You always get like this, you always need to argue with me no matter what it’s about, just shut up. Fuck hold on, all right. Stay very fucking still right now, stay still so I can give you a little more of this stuff. Not enough to knock you out, just a little more so you can focus, stop moving your legs. If you move your legs again… no seriously stop right fucking now. Just fucking-

Sit still.

…

I didn’t enjoy doing that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, no no shhhhhh don’t cry, that wasn’t meant to hurt you, it was for your own good, I did it for you. Just sit still. Just a little more… give it a minute. Better, right? Where were we. Yes, okay, I would never hurt you, I can’t hurt you, i’m your friend, I love you. What I’m doing is out of love, I love you so much that it hurts. And well that was rough for me, cause sometimes it feels like you didn’t love me back. And that made me very upset, and so for the sake of our friendship, I decided to do something about it. I decided to make you act like a better friend to me.

I figured that if I had all this shame and guilt and disgust over how I felt about you, and there was nothing I could do to get rid of it, I might as well take the advice you’ve always given me, do you remember? You told me I should always be true to myself, that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. That there’s nothing wrong with wanting. That I’m not disgusting for having desire. You said that to me.

Don’t say that’s not what you meant, you’re gonna break my heart. I just, we’ve been friends for so long. And you’ve been there for me through so much, I need you to be there for me now. And maybe it’s a big ask, but I need you to be there for me forever. I know that’s a lot to ask, so I decided not to ask at all. I know that’s horrible probably, but I think this is good for you. No sorry, I know this is good for you. I know you need this as much as I do, more than I do. 

I know how hard things have been for you lately, you’ve been running yourself ragged, between work and family and university and everything you just you’ve been miserable lately. It’s so hard to watch, it’s turned you into a husk, and I see all this and you’re just not making decisions that are smart for yourself. Especially with the people you date, they keep hurting you. They’re never enough for you, you deserve better, you deserve…

Sweetie let me get you a napkin you’re drooling.  Here you go. Sorry, I was just trying to tell you, look at me. Everything I tell you is true. I’m done lying to you, from here on out I will never lie to you. Everything I’m telling you is completely 100% true. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, you don’t need to think about it. I mean it seems like you were trying to think right now and it kind of messed you up, I mean your brain must be pretty fucked up right now between the shock of finding yourself chained up in my basement, and all of the drugs I’ve pumped into you.

You look confused, we can wait until later maybe I gave you too much, do you understand anything I’m saying? Sorry, you look so cute right now. You should see your own face. It’s adorable the little crinkle above your nose, you just look bewildered. Like you don’t understand a thing in the world, that’s okay, are… are you giggling? Wow I really did give you too much, I should write down this dosage, not enough to knock you out, but it makes you very fun and silly, doesn’t it? This will be fun to play with later. 

Yes, play, you like that? You feel weird and tingly? Well baby that’s all the aphrodisiacs and excess hormones from the special little cocktail I found online, are… you’re laughing again baby what was it? You’re so silly aren’t you, I can tell from the way you’re squirming, and how puffy your nipples look that you’re very sensitive right now aren’t you, I can especially tell from the way you squirm and squeal like that when I touch your inner thigh just right here. Does that feel good? oh wow, that seemed to have an effect huh, let’s clean you up.

Unlike me. I'm such an unpathetic top domme Chad that I wouldn't even care if it happened to me. If somebody tried doing it to me then I'd probably just stop them and then I'd like leave or whatever.