𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴.

It was a habit he hadn't gone back to in a long time. He stole a cigarette out of Gumshoe's purse, she always carried both real ones and candy ones, but he made sure this one was real. It reminded him of when he was a child, sipping leftover alcohol from his passed out parents.

Stabilizing himself, he lit up the cigarette. He carefully placed it between his lips.

Instantly his lungs began to burn, his chest felt tight and everything felt bad. Filled with regret, he kept going. If he was going to do this he was going to force himself to commit. Pulling back he wheezed as quiet as possible, still not trying to be found.

Tears, both of catharsis and from the smoke, filled his eyes, letting the cigarette hang loosely from his fingers between his legs. He couldn't go on. So he was going to make himself pay for it.

He quickly turns red and sheepish, just at his own girlfriend showing affection to him.

Jake slammed his hands on the table in excitement from the offer.

Eyelashes were thick with tears, the man filled with sorrow. He was ashamed to have to present it to the one he loved constantly, but he couldn’t help it. Accursed with emotion, all he could do was cry.

Admittance to his faults always felt like defeat, a risk that she would love him less, that she wouldn’t want him anymore. Her worrisome voice almost pressured him, though, he had to tell her.

“The New Year is always the same, I never change. You- everyone else- you always continue to grow, but here I am, stuck. I’m pathetic. And it’s so stupid- and I’m so stupid- and-”