Hello I Am New To This

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

@theoutcastrogue

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

Hot (ha) take but I think everyone needs to stop with 'oh heat in Britain is extra bad bcos we don't have the infrastructure' and 'oh it's the humidity'. We could upgrade all our infrastructure and 100% of people in Britain could be having a lovely time in the sun and the apocalyptic climate change induced heat waves would still be a problem.

If someone's response to 'this country is having 30c heat waves, which is extremely hot relative to the usual climate in the region' is 'umm but 30c is barely even hot' they have a tiny child's understanding of how the world works.

I said this last year but saying that people are freaking out about 'normal summer weather' is climate change denial 👍

yeah okay ill reblog that

It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again

and to the children in the notes saying we need this fucking baby talk to get around censorship online; there's been no credible evidence that any site other that YouTube (which will only demonetize your video, ftr) will actually censor or hide content that include words like rape, pedophile, gun, terrorist, etc. etc. and even if we take as a given they were (which, again, they are not), do not fucking comply in advance, you absolute fucking coward. and ESPECIALLY do not comply by altering your real life fucking vocabulary. don't let the technocrats dictate what words you say holy fucking shit dude!!!!!!!!!!!!