MOVED TO @LEMON-BOY-STAN

“AMORTENTIA”

summary: y/n’s twitter life at hogwarts was simple. that was, of course, until her friends exposed her crush on the hufflepuff chaser, chris bang. genre: fluff, crack, harry potter social media au. pairing: bangchan x reader.

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DATE STARTED: 20th June 2021

DATE FINISHED: 8th August 2021

00. “PROFILES”

01. “OUT OF THE FRYINGPAN”

02. “INTO THE FIRE”

03. “JISUNG’S FIRST BIG MISTAKE”

04. “THE MAN CAVE”

05. “FELIX’S REVENGE”

06. “THE PROPOSAL”

07. “JISUNG’S SECOND BIG MISTAKE”

08. “CONSEQUENSES”

09. “I DESERVE BETTER”

10. “OPERATION: MINHO - PT 1”

11. “OPERATION: MINHO - PT 2”

12. “EDWARD, BELLA, AND JACOB”

13. “SUICIDE MISSION”

14. “FEather, SHit, UPstart”

15. “CRY AND SHUT UP”

16. “KIM JIYOUNG”

17. “THE DAILY PROPHET”

18. “TEN OF US”

19. “SOONIE, DOONGIE, AND DOORI”

20. “HOGSMEADE”

21. “DRAGON CLAW POWDER”

22. “BABYGIRL”

23. “TRAITOR”

24. “CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT”

25. “MAID OF HONOR”

26. “MADAM PUDIFOOT’S”

27. “KERMIT DOESN’T LIE”

28. “IT’S ME, Y/N!”

29. “FICTIONAL”

30. “HYU-HYU VS BINNIE”

31. “MINHO-Y/N-CHAN-JIYOUNG”

32. “BROKEN”

33. “AAAAAAA”

34. “I’M A SLYTHERIN”

35. “HOUSE-ELF”

36. “APOLOGY MEMES”

37. “BAGS AND KISSES”

38. “MINYOUNG”

39. “JISUNG’S THIRD BIG MISTAKE”

40. “CONSPIRACY THEORIES”

41. “HONEYCOMB”

42. “TMI”

43. “COMING AROUND”

44. “Y/N IS A POO”

45. “DIVORCED”

46. “😭”

47. “10/10”

48. “THE RETURN OF KERMIT”

49. “GUESS I’LL DIE”

50. “TRUTH IN THE PUDDING”

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“SO NOT WORTH IT”

summary: felix joins the popular kids after becoming bang chan’s roommate. when he and y/n collide, the twitter world goes beserk. (loosely based on the k-drama so not worth it). genre: angst, fluff, crack, social media au, college au. pairing: lee felix x reader

status: complete but posting chapters

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00. prologue: “PROFILES”

01. “BROS B4 HOS”

02. “MY BIGGEST FEAR”

03. “BOTHER BREATHING”

04. “MY SECRET TO TELL”

05. “CHANGBIN’S WARNING”

06. “SAD GRASSHOPPER”

07. “EXTRA BOBA”

08. “YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR”

09. “BESTIES”

10. “SEUNGMIN x WONPIL”

11. “KISS AND TELL”

12. “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”

13. “LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE”

14. “SISTER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER”

15. “HALF OK”

16. “KICK AND SCREAMING” 📽

17. “SMALL PACKAGES”

18. “FRIENDLY COMPETITIONS” 📽

19. “FREE GUY PART ONE”

20. “FREE GUY PART TWO”

21. “KOREABOO”

22. “REBECCA LEE”

23. “OBSESSION”

24. “LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER”

25. “THE SLAUGHTER”

26. “ANTI-Y/N”

27. “THE SON OF KOREA”

28. “MINHO - 1, SEUNGMIN - 0”

29. “NO THOUGHTS, NO FEELINGS”

30. “PARENT MONITORED” 📽

31. “HIT OR MISS”

32. “KRISTOFF AND ELSA”

33. “MURDER WITH A REASON”

34. “TRIPLE J”

35. “FEELING THE LOVE”

36. “KISSES AND ALCOHOL”

37. “KNOCK KNOCK”

38. “THE MUM FRIEND”

39. “THE GROOM AND THE GROOM’S GROOM”

40. “SOLAR SYSTEM”

41. epilogue: “THE Y/N PROJECT”

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“GOD’S MENU”

summary: hell’s kitchen has the best reviews. it’s said that their meals satisfy all five of your senses and that the michelin chef has five stars. genre: smut, modern day demon/hell au. warnings: shit ending, bad lyric puns, felix is really out of character, mentions of death, hell, possesive felix, dom felix, praise kink, breeding, creampie, cumplay (kind of). pairing: demon!lee felix x reader. a/n: SKZ requests are open. 

The restaurant was dark and dingy but that was probably the vibe it was trying to give off. It was a time close to midnight, although you didn’t know the exact hour so it could even be morning.

For years, you’d being trying to find the perfect dish. You’d tasted some of the worst and some of the best foods, and none of them had really satisfied you. Hell was a place strictly for the dead but sometimes they allowed visitors, only very important people. 

You supposed this meant that you were successful. 

When you’d read the brochure at a funeral, you knew you had to go. Who wouldn’t want a meal that satisfied not one, but all five, of your senses? Plus, the chef had five stars. You didn’t know what the other two michilen stars were for but you figured they were probably some hell-related thing.

Your agent had made a deal to give the restaurant a good review if they let you in and out alive, although now you weren’t so sure that you wanted to go back.

The waiter was tall with kind eyes. You never knew that there was ever such a thing as a kind demon, but here you were, looking right at one. Perhaps he learnt his lesson. Or perhaps he was secretly plotting your death. Either way, his eyes were beautiful, the dark shades of brown mixing together to create a dazzling pool of chocolate.

“Good day,” his voice was deep and he spoke with a thick volume of husk from his throat. His pale skin and red lips made him look charming. Charming, but sad. He wore all leather, with a white shirt underneath that looked new. His silver hair glistened in the light and his sharp eyebrows furrowed together. “How did you get here?”

“My agent…” you started, worrying he might be hostile. “I have a cooking show…” you added. The silver-haired man smiled. “Ah, yes,” he murmured,

“I remember.”

You cleared your throat, “may I speak with the chef? I’d like to do an interview.” The silver-haired man chuckled and you frowned. “There is a chef, right?” He chuckled again.

“Of course there is, you silly girl. You’re talking to him.” The tray that the man was holding disappeared and a black chef’s hat appeared on his head instead. He cocked it, and it vanished. A plate of food materialized on the table. “This is our best-seller,” he explained, taking a seat across you.

“If it appeases you, dessert will be served shortly. For now, though, why don’t we have a tour of the restaurant? I’m sure the mortals would enjoy seeing what a five-star hotel is like in hell,”

You didn’t normally give your audience a tour of the restaurant, but you couldn’t resist. The place was so chilling and mysterious you had to look around.

Felix led you through the dim-lit hallway, his hand on your back. There were doors on your left and doors on your right that led to nowhere. Guarding the fifth door, a tall man with slick black hair and perfect features stood with a snarling face and a large flapping pair of wings. The door had a silver plaque on the top of it, which read 모든 천사는 쓰러진다. All angels fall.

Felix wove the demon off, “no need to be so serious, Hyunjin. It’s fine. Go take a break, you’ve served well.” the demon snarled before flapping his large wings and taking flight, vanishing into the air.

“Where did he go?” you didn’t mean to think aloud. Felix smiled knowingly, but otherwise didn’t reply. He wove his hand, and the black door opened with a creak. There was another hallway, this time endless, and pitch black. You must’ve made a concerned face because Felix laughed and said, “don’t worry. The hallway lights up as you walk. There’s magic for the dead, too, you know.”

Felix was right. Each step you took, the hallway lit up with a gloomy yellow light, revealing a section of the alley as you went. Every section was different. The first was full of mirrors with blinking eyes in the glass. The second was full of jars, stocked with things you’d never seen before. Each section was as peculiar as the next.

The last time the hallway lit up, there were name tags plastered on the walls. Some were new, and some were old, but there was one that caught your eye the most.

“Felix,” you murmured quietly, “why is my name on here?” he paused for a moment, his dark eyes glowing red. He smiled, “we like to keep track of our… visitors.” that made sense. “Oh, okay.” he smiled again, “shall we keep going?” you nodded.

At the end of the hallway, the same door that the demon Hyunjin had been guarding appeared, and you gestured for the drone besides you to focus on it, but the little camera drone sputtered and came to a halt. You turned to it and frowned, confused. “That’s weird…” you muttered to yourself, “the camera drone never breaks.” 

The chef laughed. “I know what you’ve been thinking, little princess,” Felix curled his lip, “I know all the thoughts you’ve been thinking about me. You can pretend all you want to be an innocent little thing, but nothing can hide your lust.” his dark eyes sparkled, and a crooked smile crept upon his face.

A lump formed in your throat, a lump so big you’d forgotten how to speak. This only made the demon smile even more, “you try so hard, don’t you?” Felix’s whispers echoed menacingly through the hallway. “To be a good Christian girl, waiting until marriage. But tell me, dear, where has waiting ever got you? It’s okay, save your breath, I’ve got the answer: absolutely nowhere. Nowhere, and begging for more. Because that’s what you’ve been doing, isn’t it, your whole life? You’ve been looking for the best dish, but nothing’s ever satisfied you. All the meals you’ve tried tasted like cardboard. Well, little princess, let me serve you one of my favourites. Hell’s kitchen does have five stars, after all…”

Felix pushed you through the door, but it was the fall that shocked you the most, for you did not land on wood, but on a soft mattress and silk blankets. The demon smiled, “dirty girl. You’re so desperate for sex that you’re not even bothering to hide your thoughts! You poor thing.” Felix laughed cruelly as he towered over you. The demon snapped its fingers and you shivered at the touch of the cold air against your skin. 

“Tell me, little princess,” Felix hovered above you, “what shall you order? I suggest for starters, you rest your buds, and let me - oh? What’s this? You can’t wait, child? You want my sinful cock that bad? Now, now, my sweet, don’t talk back… you know better than to spite the devil, don’t you?” he drawled every word, still smirking. “Very well…” he bucked his hips to reveal one of the biggest dicks you’d ever seen, spilling out hot shots of cum on your body before floating back down. 

The demon gave you no warning. He pushed inside you with a grunt, “your pussy is so tight.” you didn’t know if that was a compliment or a complaint. Felix smiled, “a compliment, my sweet.” you blushed at his deep voice and he chuckled again. “You’re so beautiful for a mortal…” he must’ve known you liked to be praised. “I do know, little princess. And I know how bad you want me to cum inside you. I know how much you want me to breed you…” he ran a finger up your clit, opening your legs some more, stretching you out, making you whine wordlessly at the demon’s touch.

Felix let out deep groans as he rutted in and out of you, spilling his juices like he was made of cum. The demon’s grip on your shoulders was rough, and it kept its eyes on you the entire time. You, however, weren’t so consistent; you threw your head back every time Felix hit your G-spot, cumming directly on it each time. Your stomach felt so full of cum that it was heavy. 

There was cum dripping from your thighs and your breasts, where he’d spread it before. Felix pulled out with ease, and you were amazed at his appearance - he didn’t even look sweaty. You were exhausted. Maybe it was a demon thing. “It is a demon thing, my sweet.” Felix chuckled, clicking his fingers and smiling as lingerie and a black dress fashioned themselves onto your now cleaned body. The demon smiled, helping you up.

“So,” the camera drone was back on and the room morphed into a kitchen, “how did you enjoy your meal?” you smiled, flustered, “it certainly deserves the five Michelin stars on the menu. I don’t think I’ll ever forget  it,” or you, you thought to yourself, making the demon smile once more. “Well,” Felix said, “come see us when you can. Hell is always open to pretty girls like you.” he took your hand and kissed it, his icy breath making your skin tingle.

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“NEEDY”

genre: smut. pairing: changbin x reader. warnings: oral (both male and female receiving), mentions of sex, voeyersium (kind of), brat taming, changbin has a big dick but wbk, degradation, daddy kink. a/n: happy changbin day! (also, requests are open!)

You wished Changbin hadn’t been in a good mood but he was, unlike the other times he came back from practice, where he’d be tense and fuming because he’d forgotten a move in one of the dances.

Instead of storming over, he bounced. The guys laughed at his energeticness and in better times, you would’ve as well, but these were stressful times.

It was like you’d swapped moods. Normally, you were the happy one and he was the grumpy one, but it seemed today he’d have to deal with your bullshit instead.

“I finally got it right!” he punched the air in victory and sat down next to you. You let out a soft grumble in response and he frowned. “Baby, are you okay?” you shrugged before changing your mind and shaking your head, pouting.

“Binnie,” you nuzzled your head into his big, buff arms, “need you,” whispering the words so only he could hear, squirming your tiny body into his. Changbin tensed.

“Here?” he spoke in a hushed voice, surprised at how daring you’d suddenly become. “Now?” you nodded. “But the guys -” he looked at them fervently.

“I don’t care,” you rose your voice, lip trembling. You knew better than to talk back to Changbin, but today you just didn’t care. “Look, I’ve had a really bad day, okay, and I really wanted you to come home mad but you didn’t and now I’m even more pissed off now, so we’re going to go to the bedroom and we’re going to have sex in it whether you like it or not.”

Bangchan choked on his water and covered Jeongin’s ears. Jisung, for once, had finally gone quiet. Even Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin had forgotten about their Mario Kart game.

Changbin sighed and stood up. “Fine, whatever.” when he got to the door, he turned around and crossed his arms. “Well? Are you coming or what?” you looked around at the boys for help before realising they wouldn’t provide any.

You got up abruptly, “right,” now your body was tense, “I - yes, I’m coming.” Changbin scoffed as you made your way over to the bedroom where he grabbed you, shoving you into the room, slamming the door behind him like how you’d waited for him to do the past seven hours.

You could’ve sworn Chan turned the volume on the TV all the way to one hundred.

Changbin groaned, placing a harsh kiss on your lips. “You dirty little slut,” he pressed up against you and you felt the erection he’d made, “demanding for sex in front of my members, asking me to fuck you while they’re in the next room, you don’t even deserve to cum today,” Changbin was already leaving hickeys, biting much harder than usual.

“Binnie, please,” you’d started whining again. “Please fuck me,” Changnin growled, the sound coming from deep inside his throat, lethal. “Quiet, bitch,” he grabbed your shoulder, slamming it against the wall, making you cry out in pleasure, “I’ll fuck you when I want.” God, he was so fucking hot.

Changbin left a trail of hot breath down your chest, caressing your body the best he could while pinning you up to the wall. Even in control, Changbin was still careful. “I can’t believe you want my dick so bad,” he let out a hearty laugh, “that you begged for me in front of the guys,” he let out a sad tutting noise like he was disappointed.

“And you made me hard,” he added distastefully. “Do you know what happens to naughty girls like you when they make me hard, princess?” you shook your head, no. Changbin smirked cruelly, eyes darkening devishly, “I play with them,” he sang happily at your misery and suddenly you wished you’d never asked him to fuck you at all.

Hands roaming down your body, Changbin played with the strap of your bra before grabbing it and hoisting it up from under your shirt, dropping it to the carpet as soon as it was in his grasp. “Fuck,” he pressed you harder into the wall, “I fucking love seeing your tits like that.”

The shirt you were wearing was actually one of Changbin’s old shirts that he couldn’t fit into any more. Changbin fisted the material, stretching it over your head so a cold gust of wind blew across your chest, making you shiver. Changbin smirked, pulling the rest of the shirt off before grabbing you by the waist and flinging you on the mattress with such force that it felt like you barely weighed anything.

Standing over the bed, Changbin actually looked tall. You knew the guys made fun of his height constantly, but you wondered what they’d say if they could see him now. Huh. Maybe confidence really did have an impact on someone’s height.

With a swift move, Changbin undid his belt and it clattered to the ground loudly. His pants were a little loose now and his muscles were bursting out of his top as he advanced onto the bed like you were prey he’d finally caught. Snarling, he kicked off the designers.

You let out a short, sharp breath. Sure, you’d seen Changbin’s dick and bulge before, and you knew how big he was, but you didn’t know you’d made him this hard. Changbin scoffed at the shocked look on your face. “Oh, sweetheart,” he drawled the words, “this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.”

“Binnie, I -” you didn’t know what to say, you really didn’t. Changbin let out a laugh so loud that the room shook before sneering at you. “Save it,” your heart was beating unnaturally fast. “Need you,” you corrected, “please, Binnie, please, need you bad, Binnie, so bad,” Changbin hummed in approval, “dirty little cockslut knows what to say,” you blushed madly at his praise.

With his large hands, Changbin grabbed hold of both your legs before wrenching them open, lowering his head. “Don’t enjoy this too much, bitch.”

Changbin was harsh with eating you out, he gave you no mercy and had no remorse. He hit your G-spot instantly, tongue and fingers hard at work when he bit down. You tried your best to muffle your screams but it was hard when he was so fucking good at it.

Changbin let out a cocky chuckle into your pussy, “you’re not embarrassed, are you, sweetheart?” he murmured the words softly into your soaking cunt, “that I’ve made you this weak with just my tongue?”

You were shaking from the stimulation.

“Shut up,” you were gasping again, “I’m not - fuck, fuck, eight there, Binnie, right there - embarrassed-” Changbin chuckled softly, “oh yeah? Prove it.” you hissed back at him, but you weren’t sure if it was from the touch of his teeth or because he’d pissed you off. “I want them to hear, sweet, baby girl,” he laughed again, “how bad I can ruin you in just a few seconds.”

He dove back down and you couldn’t help it this time. You’d tried your best not to touch yourself, to let him have his fun, but you had to. If not, you’d explode. You were glad he’d only noticed a few minutes later.

Changbin had wondered why you weren’t gripping his hair like you had been before. He looked up and growled and your hands flew off your breasts in shock at the slap. “Those are mine.” his voice was quiet, a scary kind of quiet.

“I know,” you made sure to sound extra scared, “I’m sorry,” you looked away before turning back to him quickly, “I didn’t mean to. I just -” he was glowering, there was rage swimming in his dark eyes. He was so fucking hot, even when he was trying to intimidate you. Mostly when.

Changbin made another sad tutting noise. “You know,” he spoke disappointedly, “I was going to reward you with my dick, but I think I’m just going to have you suck it instead. Get on your knees, bitch, and make sure to swallow everything, even if you choke. No touching this time,” he added.

You sank into the mattress and Changbin fisted your hair like he did your shirt. You had to hold on to his legs, you were already really weak. Like all the times you braced yourself for his huge dick, you never braced yourself enough.

You always choked the first time he shoved himself in your mouth, it was expected. It just didn’t mean you were ready. You got used to it, though, like you always did, sucking his massive cock as it blocked out air, the cold and dry taste of his cum flooding your throat as tears filled your eyes.

Changbin cooed you, this was perhaps the one time he was gentle with you during sex. “Come on, baby, I know you can do it. I know you can make daddy proud. All you have to do is swallow that cum and he might forgive you. Who wouldn’t, when you look so pretty like that, with daddy’s cum dripping down your cute, little lips,” he brushed a strand of your hair and you choked but swallowed.

Changbin groaned softly. “You’re so fucking perfect, baby. You’re such a good girl,” he pumped into you, “it’s like you were built to have your mouth around my dick, huh?” he laughed softly, groaning as he pulled on your hair, “fuck, baby, just like that. There you go, that’s how you apologise for being such a little whore, isn’t it?” Changbin cradled your body before putting you back down on the bed, wiping the cum from your mouth. “Open up, baby, the night’s just started.”

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summary: y/n’s twitter life at hogwarts was simple. that was, of course, until her friends exposed her crush on the hufflepuff chaser, chris bang. genre: fluff, crack, harry potter social media au. pairing: bangchan x reader.

ADD YOURSELF TO THE TAGLIST!

DATE STARTED: 20th June 2021

DATE FINISHED: {♡}

00. “PROFILES”

01. “INTO THE FRYINGPAN”

02. “SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS”

03. “JISUNG’S BIG MISTAKE”

04. “THE MAN CAVE”

05. “FELIX’S REVENGE”

DreamWorks’ Shrek was first released on May 18th, 2001.

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Even if you just ask the child “Do you know this person” if the adult butt’s in make sure to ASK THE CHILD! Even a shy kid will tell you they don’t know this person or just met them or something!