When's the sleeptime tho?

And feel it echoing back to me

Reaching my core of my heart

From the soul made of bones

Not for you to hear it yet

But for the way

A name carries the weight

which sets me free

In a way,

No other name ever did.

The Midnight Stranger

Alone in the night

A cold breeze cries,

It stares at me

Like a trespasser walking by

It asks my name

I said,"I don't know?"

It whispers,"what you feel?"

I don't know which one to show

It asks my desires

It asks what I crave

Is it a flower of lilies?

or rose-garnish on my grave?

Scared, I tried to run from the 'stranger'

Who knows it all so well

smirking at my preach of the heavenly

being buried deep in hell

This silent person of the light

at dark,makes me quiver

I cry and shout,"who are you?"

Fades away,handing me a Mirror.

On a Plate to You,

Oh,but Darlin'?

Would you manage to break it,

Have you ever coined out the Ingredients but don't know what recipe is gonna come out of it?

How'd it taste?

Spent the day working, studying, productive

Studied 7 hours sitting upright on my chair,the only breaks were to pee and grab snacks or go to the balcony and feel the air on my bare face ,and step back as soon as I realise I haven't died,yet.

I mean nothing pathetic though, got proud of myself as nothing and nobody,not even thoughts distracted me.

Didn't heard my own voice today,still haven't heard it.

Took a little nap in the afternoon,had a dream

I was in a club with people of all sorts: some were jealous of me,the other half was crushing on me

as I was the party animal,amidst of people, swaying my hips with a rhythmic chemistry to the deafening beats,I was all sparkling with the lights.

Everyone wanted my attention.

Everyone wanted to dance with me.

Everyone wanted to be with me.

Or be me.

Colorful dream.

Extroverted dream.

Wannabe dream.

Woke up and tied my hair in a tight bun, brewed some black coffee,and that squeaking chair welcomed me to add up more hours.

Saddening? No.

Unrealistic? Not either.

Just a Question:

pretty ironic how the trait of you they used to know and adore you for becomes the biggest redflag about you,huh.

Talkative becomes Attention Seeker and Emotional becomes Dramatic.

You quietly unravel the knot, you together promised to tighten.

(guess the tightening's hanging your acquaintance to the ceiling,eh?)

You take those unravels and tape them to a shadowy wall of your heart,as it camouflages in the dark,as if it's not there anymore.

But baby,it hurts when the light gets to the corner,no?

people would perhaps serve you a quintessential, maybe dozens of them which could take those emotions away forever, but they're just sedatives in disguise.

The real rebirth occurs when you let yourself flow,

Free as a bird

Because:

An Egoist.

Not an Absolute Egoist.

More than Egoist but Less Than An Absolute Egoist.

Emotional.

Not Sensitive.

More than Emotional but Less than Sensitive.

In the same person.

Hey this is Sleepless-lilith,Again.

I have no world to live in because the world I'm In Suffocates me,My Ego and My Emotions.

Ego is not A Good Thing know?

That's what my Emotional side says,

It complicates,

You don't reach out nobody,

You don't let in Nobody,

because They don't care Enough.(Probably they do)

Emotions are not a good thing either. My ego claims,

You reach out alot,

You Let in too Much because you think they'd care.

(Probably they don't.)

Ego steps where emotions are not valued.

And where Emotions are valued more than enough?

The Ego dominates.

Someone,

just because you water their soil constantly without them fruiting you enough?

Thinks your life depends on them and You please their Ego.

Someone,

just because you flower them enough so they don't shower upon you the warmth you need?

Thinks The same.

But in both the Cases,

The Ego dominates,and The Emotions?

Rot.

But it depends,

if you're an Egoist or Emotional.

And if you're Both?

Depends again,If you're the Gardener or The Tree.

If you're the Tree?

Do you fruit them Enough?

Gardener?

Do you water them Enough?

Complicated until not Thought.

Do you reciprocate the Energy they do?

If not,

The Emotions of One Side would hang upon a Knoose.

And the Ego of the Other would keep on tightening the Rope.

Ironically,

The Emotions would Liberate.

If your emotions feel nonsense to me,

Maybe my Rules be a Cage for you too?

If your tears seem weakness to me,

Maybe my smirk feels cruel to you too?

If your affection sounds suicide to me,

Maybe my cold murders your life too? 

But,

If you wanna make me breathe,

I wanna keep you safe too.

If you wanna make me proud,

I wanna see you laugh too.

If you wanna show me love,

I'm softening out my arms too.

If you wanna make me alive 

the corpse on my bed asks, “Who am I?”

Am I the same who stood with people at five p.m.,

when the air hadn’t inked melancholy in the sky?

I was ambitious in the day

workout and work, my distractions decayed.

Now this room looks like my own headspace,

but if this is my place, why do I feel so stray?

Souls peek at me from the dark of these walls,

they know my name,interrogatively, they call.

These people were alive some months ago;

to recognize their faces, my eyes crawl.

Was I running from everything

just to find a place to be?

If the paths of my head are locked so tight,

why do I ache to break free?

Myriad expectations, abyss of emotion,

lanterns of hope filled with faithless devotion.

I ask my mind to hush and sleep