shuu

More Chan rambles. A+ on trolling his own fans, as usual.

You forget that under his public image, he's a normal person just like anyone else, who's trying his hardest to do what he enjoys while also helping millions of people, which isn't something he's obligated to do. He doesn't have to spend his time thinking about how he can make complete strangers feel better and like they aren't alone. He doesn't have to spend his time sending messages in the hopes of making the people on the other end smile and forget about their worries for a moment. He doesn't have to put everyone first and forget to take care of himself. But he does because he genuinely cares and wants people to be happy - and if that's corny to you, then I worry for you. Clearly you haven't experienced any sort of care or kindness in your life and that's why it makes you feel uncomfortable. Otherwise, it doesn't make any sense for you to treat him the way you are. And why feel the need to say anything at all? If you don't like him or the things he does - which is completely valid, it's impossible to like everyone or to be liked by everyone - then don't say anything at all. Why are you wasting your time bringing your own character down just to hurt someone who has shown nothing but kindness to you? If someone in your day-to-day life came up to you and treated you personally the way he treats his fans, would you treat that person the same? Would you call them corny for being kind? Would you say horrible things when they make time for you? I highly doubt you would unless you're a complete and utter cunt ... which I wouldn't put past a few of you. So why treat him that way? What exactly are you gaining from this?

The worst part is, I know a large chunk of you who are behaving this way are also the same people who complain on a regular basis about him not doing his lives anymore, and act all entitled like you deserve to have his time. You're the same people who claim he can't do anything right, yet as soon as he disappears for a day, he's the one in the wrong for not being there. Not only does that make you hypocritical, it makes you downright selfish, rude, and overall a shitty person. You make him apologise for things he has no business apologising for. He's the one who deserves hundreds of apologies - yet he always apologises first because he doesn't want more hurt to be spread around.

Cue incomprehensible screaming.

Christopher.

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͙͘͡★ GENRE: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

͙͘͡★ WARNINGS: Vague mention of toxic home, periods

͙͘͡★ CHARACTERS: Chris, Y/N

͙͘͡★ WORD COUNT: 2.2k

͙͘͡★ SYNOPSIS: Y/N seeks out the comfort of Chris when she gets her period

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Chrissy: Want me to come pick you up??

Y/N's eyes bugged out of her head. She stared at the message blinking up at her on her phone, utterly puzzled.

Y/N: ???

Chrissy: Wait, you are on your period right?

Y/N stared even harder.

Y/N: Have you been TRACKING MY PERIOD??

Chrissy: … No?

Chrissy: Maybe

Chrissy: Not for any creepy reason … I just wanna know so I can be there for you

Chrissy: Now tell me … want me to come pick you up?

Eyes watering, Y/N had to jerk her head away to narrowly avoid slamming into a pole situated on the side of the pavement. She sniffled and pressed her hand to her lower stomach, the steady heat from one of the heat patches she had just bought sinking into her skin in a soothing wave.

Y/N: You're not busy?

Chrissy: Nah. Waiting for you 😉

Y/N: 🥺

Y/N: I'm already outside. Went to the shop

Y/N: So … can I come over?

Chrissy: Mhm. How far are you?

Y/N: Five minutes?

Chrissy: I can still come pick you up

Smiling to herself, Y/N began to walk a little faster. She ignored the dull cramps blooming inside of her as a result of the movement, too busy focusing on how she could almost hear Chris's soft voice through the messages he was sending.

Y/N: You're cute. I'm nearly there

Chrissy: Hurry up then. Miss my clingy girl ~

Chris opened the door almost instantly when Y/N knocked a few moments later. His eyes melted as soon as his gaze landed on her, and Y/N let out a slow breath she hadn't even realised she was holding before crashing into his awaiting embrace. Chris's big arms came up around her like a seatbelt, folding her into him with such care that Y/N felt her knees almost give way against him.

“My baby,” Chris murmured into the top of Y/N's head as he quietly shut the door. “Back where you belong, huh?”

Y/N nodded against his shoulder. He was dressed in a worn, black t-shirt with an unzipped hoodie floating about his frame, and a pair of worn sweatpants that hung low on his hips; he was incredibly warm, and Y/N nuzzled her face deeper into silky patch of skin exposed by the neckline of his top, right where the bottom of his neck met the beginning of his shoulder. Her fingers dug into the sturdy planes of his back as she clung to him, and Chris smiled into her hair before easily pulling her up so her legs automatically wrapped around his waist.

“Cramps?” Chris murmured in a simple question against her temple as he shut the door and carried her away from it, towards the living area.

“Mhm … “ Y/N hummed into his shoulder. “Better now that I'm here.”

Chuckling, Chris settled down onto the sofa, keeping Y/N curled up on his lap. To her surprise, Chris picked up a long, pre-heated heat pack from beside him where he had unfolded his favourite fluffy blanket, and he gently tucked it around Y/N's waist, encircling her with a band of sudden heat that made her shiver. He adjusted her position, draping her legs over his lap so she could snuggle into his side, his arm coming around her body and tucking her deep into the reassuring cocoon of him.

“You warmed it up … “ Y/N mumbled into his chest, her words slurred from a lack of energy.

Chris smiled, his fingers gently pushing off her light jacket and the thin jumper she was wearing on top of a loose t-shirt. “Mhm. Made you some tea too. And look … Mr Yong-Lix stocked me up with some of your favourite cookies. Coincidence, huh?”

At that, Y/N lifted her head from Chris's chest and turned to peer over her shoulder. Sure enough, next to the mug of fragrant tea, a plate rested on a small coffee table, laden with chewy, triple chocolate chip cookies. Her eyes widened at the sight of them, and she turned back to Chris who was smiling down at her as if he had the entire world nestled between his two arms.

“Want one?” Chris hummed, kissing her forehead.

Lips curving up at the corners ever so slightly, Y/N gave a slow nod. Chris started to chuckle, and with one hand squeezing her a little tighter to keep her in place, he leaned forward, reaching for one of the cookies.

“Say ‘ahh’,” Chris waved the cookie around Y/N's face, making her giggle, and she opened her mouth for him. He was grinning at fool as he watched her nibble the edge, a fat chocolate chunk immediately melting on her tongue.

Y/N chewed for a moment, swallowing, before burying her face back into Chris's shoulder. “‘S so good … “

“Yeah?” Chris grinned. “Lix'll be stoked. Think he was testing a new recipe.”

At that, Y/N smiled. She lifted her face again and took another bite, and Chris couldn't help but let out another soft puff of laughter as she hid her face once more.

It took her a small while to finish the large cookie, her lower stomach ebbing and flowing with passing cramps, and by the time she was finished, Chris had draped the blanket over her. He had stretched his legs out on the length of the sofa, his posture relaxed as he cradled Y/N's form into him. One of her favourites movies played on the TV, its familiar dialogue adding to the gentle comfort being with Chris was providing. His hand was constant on her back, smoothing languid circles on the clammy skin beneath her t-shirt, and his plush lips seemed to be permanently glued to the crown of her head in a slow fall of kisses.

“You comfy?” Chris whispered, fingers brushing her hair away from her flushed face.

Y/N nodded. “Comfier than I'd be anywhere else.”

At that, Chris smiled wide. He squeezed her a little tighter, the pulse of his muscles kissing her face and her shoulders, and Y/N cuddled closer, her legs tangling with his.

“You know … “ Chris spoke again after a while, his voice gentle so as not to overwhelm her. “You always come here when you're on your period and I love that you do, but … I realised I never actually asked why?”

Shifting a little, Y/N's cheek slid against Chris's collarbone as she looked up at him. “Huh?”

“Why do you come to me every time you get your period?” Chris asked with a soft smile, his fingers tracing the planes of her face.

Wrinkling her nose, Y/N looked back to the TV. “Because you make me feel safe.”

She felt him freeze; his entire body grew rigid as he inhaled shakily, but less than a second later his body settled again, and he draped another pair of kisses to her forehead.

“I'm always so stressed at home,” Y/N mumbled against the satiny grain of his t-shirt. “No matter how happy I am or how hard I work on myself, my entire nervous system stays on high alert whenever I'm there. It's bad enough being there on a normal day … but being there on my period makes it so much worse.”

“How so?” Chris asked quietly.

She gazed up at him again, eyes hooded with relaxation. “You know how stress releases cortisol?”

Chris nodded.

“Because I'm always insanely stressed, my cortisol levels are always through the roof,” Y/N explained in a small voice. “The more cortisol you have, the more inflamed and tense your muscles get, and it can also completely fuck up the rest of your hormones which leads to extra painful periods. When I'm at home, around … them, my stress is so bad that my periods hurt like … a hundred times worse than if I wasn't there.”

Chris's face crumpled, and he cupped the back of her head with a delicate hand, guiding it back to his chest with a loving touch.

“But when I'm with you … I feel the complete opposite. You make me feel so calm and so … peaceful? And … I guess because of you I end up getting way more oxytocin. And oxytocin gets rid of period cramps, so … “

Chris started to laugh. His cheeks and ears were a deep crimson, and his chest ached with so much emotion that he felt as though he might explode. Y/N would never understand just how much her words meant to him, whether she had meant them to or not.

But of course, he couldn't resist teasing her. Just a little.

“So … what you're saying is, the only reason you want me is for an oxytocin boost?” Chris joked.

Y/N giggled. “Maybe.”

“So, you're using me, yeah?”

Giggles increasing, Y/N looped her arms around the man's neck and pressed a kiss to his nose. “If I didn't love you the way I did, I wouldn't feel this way when I'm with you.”

“Well then … I guess I should be honoured,” Chris grinned, cupping her face in the both of his warm hands. “How did you cope all the times we couldn't be together?”

Y/N flushed, suddenly shy. “I … I usually just laid in bed and scrolled through photos or videos of you.”

Facial expression completely crumbling until his face was one of pure, affectionate emotion, Chris curled his arms back around Y/N and engulfed her in his steady heat. “My baby … “ he whined, rocking her gently in his lap. “Fuck … you really are the most adorable thing ever to exist, you know that right?”

“‘M not,” Y/N sniffled, words tiny against his skin. “‘S embarrassing.”

“That's not embarrassing,” Chris smiled, caressing the back of her neck. “You have no idea how much hearing all of that is making me feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world. All I want is for you to feel safe and loved … you deserve so much, baby girl.”

Cheeks hurting from the intensity of the smile on her face, Y/N peeked up at him from under his bicep. “Well … can I ask for something then?”

“Anything.”

“Will … will you lie on top of me?”

Chris looked at her incredulously. “That's all?”

She nodded sheepishly. “Feels better with your weight on me.”

A crooked grin on his face, Chris gently maneuvered the woman around so she was laying down on her back, his cushions propped beneath her head. He reached for the heat pack and smoothed it into place over her lower stomach, and he grabbed the blanket, covering his back with it like a cape before he loomed over Y/N with a mischievous smile, his hair falling into his eyes and the thin chain at the base of his throat dangling inches away from her nose. He closed the distance between them both, pressing his chest against hers, moulding his built torso against her stomach. His entire weight pressed into her with a slow, firm pressure, and Y/N smiled with such bliss that it was all Chris could do to chuckle under his breath.

“You're a freak,” he laughed, thumbs grazing her cheekbones. “Look at you … all drugged up.”

“On oxytocin,” she said dreamily, which made Chris crack up further.

He tucked his arms around her, his face coming to land beside hers as he turned his body slightly, hiking up a leg and draping it over hers. “There … better? Am I heavy enough, lil’ freak?”

“Mhm,” Y/N nodded happily and wrapped herself around him like she was clinging to a branch. Her fingers dipped beneath his top and her nails gently scratched down his back, eliciting the softest hum from the man as he kissed her throat.

They were quiet for a long while, their eyes back on the TV that continued to play the movie. Chris was drawing smooth shapes over Y/N's stomach with his fingers when he spoke again, his voice reverberating into Y/N's chest.

“You know … ima have to make you mine forever so you can stay drugged up on your oxytocin,” Chris grinned. “Gonna make sure you're with me for every single period … and all the other times too. Want you to be happy all the time. Not just once a month.”

Y/N's eyes stung. She was feeling drowsy from the sheer calm Chris brought her, along with the combined intoxication of the sweet vanilla of his skin and his extreme heat, and she slipped her fingers into his hair, playing with his curls.

“I'm so lucky to have you,” she whispered.

Chris lifted his head, his eyes twinkling beneath his fringe. His lips closed over hers in a such a slow kiss that Y/N felt as though she'd suddenly fallen through the swirling galaxies of his loving gaze as she kissed him back, just as the very last of her cramps dissolved and vanished into dust.

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