my brain, stomping itās feet: i wanna use one inconsequential negative experience to spiral into an echo-chamber of self hatred!!!
me, stirring my tea with my little plastic knife: no, we donāt do that anymore
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@slamonthebrake
my brain, stomping itās feet: i wanna use one inconsequential negative experience to spiral into an echo-chamber of self hatred!!!
me, stirring my tea with my little plastic knife: no, we donāt do that anymore

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the thing abt diet culture is that thereās no way any junk food could possibly be more self destructive than viewing your own body as not only a separate entity from yourself but as an enemy to be conquered
Did Yu Know ?
sorry for being mentally ill can we still kiss
imma be honest, the lack of binge eating recognition among any set of ed recovery advice/support/etc. is suuuper triggering and iām finding it hard to convince myself not to restrict even though i know itāll just lead to more binging

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Just a reminder:
Feeling invalid and like youāre faking your disorder is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Wanting to starve yourself but not actually being able to do it is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Recovery does NOT come easily
Constant binging is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Being able to eat normally without guilt for periods of time is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Being able to restrict easily one day and not the other is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Please treat your minds nicely
my therapist said I am very black and white when it comes to thinking about literally anything and bruh,,,, I just realized I am so all or nothing even in recovery. like, usually people tell you to take small steps and work up to something big, but what do I do? jump straight to the top or do nothing at all, resulting in weeks of no progress and then doing 20 things at once. huh.
Every step forward counts as a step in the right direction!Ā āØ
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today was my first real binge since i began recovery.
itās hard to say what exactly set it off, but i think itās been a culmination of stress and poor eating the past few days. also my brother made a bunch of gooey chocolate chip cookies.
the binge was just chocolate chip cookies, save for about a scoop of ice cream, but i did eat about 8 of them. and theyāre not tiny ones or anything. :/
i feel so sick and disheartened and ashamed. i am reminded once more why i chose to recover in the first place. i remember when every day of my life was like this, and though itās only been a very short while since i began recovering, i canāt imagine doing this again tomorrow.
thus, iām going to do my very best not to allow my binge today to affect my actions and mindset going forward. today was a setback, a natural part of recovery. i will be okay.
stop insulting yourself. it doesnāt help.
But what if itās true
it still doesnāt help. you can call yourself as many names as you want, but it wonāt make you a better, happier, healthier or kinder person.
punishment doesnāt work. only positive reinforcement does. be kind to yourself and get better.
012820 food log
breakfast: boiled egg white + some avocado + yogurt + graham crackers
morning snack: avocado + saltines
lunch: boiled egg white + cheese + carrots + chips
afternoon snack: cheetos + cookie parts of 2 oreos + prunes + some oreo cream part + gummy bears + chocolate
dinner: biscuits & gravy + eggs
dessert: chocolate + gummy bears
Informative post vol 2.
I canāt stress enough the importance of this.
Okey, so letās talk a little bit about āomg I gained 3 pounds overnight what the hell, Iām so fatā
So i canāt really understand this logic, maybe because I learn about human body in my uni like all the time, but I just wanted to say:
General overview is this: You are literally a hole. It starts with your mouth, it ends with your anus. Your other organs and body fat are surrounding this hole. When the food moves through this āpipeā your body is absorbing nutriens, kcal and water. What it canāt absorb - mostly fiber - stays in the pipe and turns into poop. This is why they say fiber is good for you, itās kind of uncloging your digestive system.
So imagine two scenarios. First: you ate one piece of cake which was like 500 kcal and had almost no fiber. Then you didnāt poop. The next morning your weight stays the same/ lower - you stayed under the caloric limit, and almost no fiber stayed in your digestive track. Ok, now letās imagine you eat, letās say, 500 kcal worth od apples (itās probably like 6-8 apples, depemding on a size). You also ate 500 kcal, but your fiber intake is much higher. Then you didnāt poop. Next morning⦠You gained! But itās not fat. And you ask yourself what the hell, I only ate 500 kcal, and just apples, that are suppose to be healthy! Well - now you know - itās fiber, staying in your system.
And now I want to talk about getting enough fiber in your diet.
Especially if you are low-restricting, please take caution and add fiber to your diet. I promise you, you wonāt gain fat because of this and it can literally save you from many diseases even like colorectal cancer. If you experience not being able to poop for a couple or days, or even a week, it probably means you really should get your fiber. All the āpoopā is still in your guts, and it also makes your weight - much higher and you - bloated. Defecation is really important, so please donāt underestimate it.
If you eat mostly whole, plant-based foods you should be ok, but here is a list od high fiber foods:
So here are foods with high fiber:
- Split peas 16g/cup
- Lentils 15.5g/cup
- Black beans 15g/cup
- Baked beans 10g/cup
- Chia seeds 10g/ounce
- Green peas 9g/cup
- Raspberries 8g/cup
ā¦and many many more.
Disclaimer: I would love to see you all recover. To be able to eat with your friends. But i know some of you wonāt do this, so at least please, please, if you can do anything to do this more safely - do this.
Pardon my english, itās not my native.
If youād like to add something or you donāt agree on something please correct me in the coments/reblogs.
Would you like to see more posts like this?
I N F O R M A T I V EĀ Ā P O S TĀ Ā V O LĀ Ā 1

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I love you all very much!!
Choose recovery,
Choose recovery again,
And again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.