Nothing to see here

'Malleus Draconia' the name given him at birth carried many weight expectations. But it was far from the only one he had even at his tender, formative years. And he could tell how differently his name sounded when spoken by his grandmother as opposed to Lilia. Queen Malefacia spoke his name fondly but with a burden of old years and grief. Lilia spoke his name and he felt reminded of what it was to be alive again. He learned what love sounded like by how they spoke his name.

'Your Highness' was a title he wished he could treat with more indifference. He was not resentful of the title, but of the distance it placed between himself and others. It was how the servants and many of his grandmother's subjects called him. A constant reminder that he was not one of them and never would belong, even among other fae.

'Heir to Briar Valley' was another name he had mixed feelings over. To some, it was a statement of fact. Acknowledging his place in the world that he had been born to fill. But when elders from the senate spoke it it sounded...lacking. Unsatisfactory, even if they were praising him. Because Briar Valley was much smaller than the Land of Briars that they had lost in the war centuries before his birth.

'Malls' was how Silver first pronounced his name when the child learned to speak. An incorrect but oddly endearing stumble that he used to tease the human even now. The plethora of names and titles Sebek used all came with a variety of reverent but sincere meanings. 'Young Master' 'Lord Malleus' 'My Lord'. All spoken with considerable volume and boundless enthusiasm.

When Lilia called his name, he called it as his ward. A child he reared and loved. When Silver said his name, it was as someone he loved and respected. Sebek proclaimed his wholehearted loyalty and dedication with every word he uttered in reference to him.

'Malleus Draconia' carried its own weight when he was at Night Raven College. It was a titanic presence that crushed all foes, decimated adversaries at Spelldrive. One of the most powerful mages in the world. Every other student he had met, even those from Diasomnia, his own dorm, all spoke his name in the exact same manner. With fear, or envy.

It wore on his ears. On his heart. The words somehow still found new places to dig their phantom thorns into his spirit. He took to secluding himself in desolate places so he would at least be alone and feel lonely rather than be deprived of solitude while being with those who gave him no companionship. The old dormitory on campus was one such place.

And then came the prefect.

Who looked at him boldly and curiously. Who observed his horns with fascination rather than fear or wariness. Malleus knew that this silhouette, so similar to the Thorn Fairy herself, was known widely. And the Ramshackle prefect simply did not care. In their eyes, they were just a unique feature that belonged to him and only him.

That is when 'Hornton' was added to his collection of names. And when he first heard it, he knew there was something more behind how they spoke it. But for all his knowledge, he couldn't identify what the prefect wasn't saying.

He could scarcely believe it at first. That someone lived in such isolation that they hadn't even heard of him. But he appreciated the lack of expectations. The absence of distance, or fear that his Names brought. They were a strange person, the prefect. Not a speck of magic yet bizzarely fearless. Naive, yet shrewd. Cheeky, but mindful of courtesy. It was a novel game, one he was happy to play out. If they could pretend he wasn't Malleus Draconia, then so, too, could he.

Malleus gave them tidbits of information. About himself, about the challenges they faced. He deliberately did not take up their true Name when it was carelessly offered in their first meeting. Instead, he gave them a name of his own in exchange for the one they gave him. 'Child of Man'. Pronounced carefully to be unique to them though there were many other mortals that the descriptor could apply to. Courtesy for courtesy.

But they weren't being blithe and pretending to not know know his true identity. They truly didn't know.

When he returned to school and first passed by the old dorm, they greeted him. Invited him into their modest, carefully rebuilt guest room and plied him with tea, a truly thoughtful gift from the Kingdom of Roses with a pleasant aroma. The laws of hospitality were more than satisfied with their performance as a host. He gave them a small blessing in exchange for the wonderful experience. During the conversation, he found then that the prefect had had the misfortune of being rendered senseless for almost the entirety of the Spelldrive tournament thanks to their direbeast partner, Grim.

They hadn't ever seen him as Malleus Draconia. He truly was just 'Hornton' to them.

And that lightened his heart and made the tea in his cup taste all the sweeter.

"I like talking to you, Hornton. We should do this again!"

Now, that was not wholly acceptable. It was his turn to host. However, formally bringing them to Diasomnia would upset this little charade he was perpetuating. But there were other things that he could do.

"I will gladly accept such an invitation. May I first offer one in answer?"

"Of course."

They took walks when Malleus felt it was 'his turn' to act as the host. Showing them some old buildings he had explored, or observing the gargoyles scattered around the campus. The winter chill had no chance to touch the prefect when Malleus placed a warming charm on them. And even this simple gesture was met with thanks freely given.

Truly, the Child of Man was making him positively giddy with the gifts they was offering so readily. And their nightly visits continued. The woods behind the main building, the botanical gardens, all quiet places he could share with the prefect. With his friend. He knew that Sebek and Silver routinely looked for him at Ramshackle. He hadn't been able to contain his delight at being invited somewhere so he had spoken fondly of the place. The wonderful transformation that occured whenever he was in their presence.

Hornton was invited into the guest room.

Hornton enjoyed snacks and company of someone who spoke freely and openly. Who was honest, trusting, thoughtful and unbelievably kind. Who did not fear him.

Hornton was the prefect's friend first. Not a prince. Not a mage. Not a dragonfae. Not Malleus Draconia.

Malleus truly treasured the Name the Child of Man had given him, and the experiences that it brought. He carefully preserved those memories, waiting for the inevitable day when the dawn would break and they'd realize who they had been taking tea with and discussing architecture in the wee hours of the morning. For when fear and wariness would steal the sound of happiness from his name.

He knew almost surely that the VDC would be the end of his little game. They invited him to a large public event, others would surely see him conversing with the prefect and he would be exposed. 'Malleus Draconia' would overtake 'Hornton'.

After that, they still called him Hornton. It made him laugh to hear, from amusement and relief in equal measure. That knowing this about him had not destroyed Hornton for them.

But even after Schonheit's overblot and his demonstration of power in repairing the arena, the first words that cross the prefect's lips were words of gratitude. Eyes bright with a smile and tone ringing with the sweet sincerity that he had grown accustomed to hearing.

The Black Madness is just another version of the Addams normal. So Sirius Black had a haven of darkness and unconditional support to go to alongside James Potter's home. And because Marauders are going to maraud matter where they are, he gets into mischief with Gomez Addams. Aka, they also become good friends.

This can easily spiral out into them getting to know James and Lily as well. Morticia would happily teach Lily how to bring destruction on her enemies. And they did defy death and Voldemort three times. (Grandmama Addams will go on a lengthy rant about Voldemort whenever he's brought up. It's unclear whether she has a crush in him or she is lamenting his wasted potential as an evil overlord.)

But who else is there in the HP universe with a penchant for the strange and dangerous that just doesn't mesh with the rest of the world? Why, that would be Rubeus Hagrid. So, Hagrid's father was an Addams cousin. He set his mind on wooing a giantess and succeeded in doing so. He's either clinically insane or just an Addams. So Hagrid also has a connection and a place where his fascination with magical creatures especially dangerous ones is not just supported, it is whole heartedly encouraged. Their cousin would be so proud! Do stop by for seance one evening, Rubeusx and we'll summon him to see how he's faring!

Skip to the turning point in Magical Britain's history. Halloween, the night Voldemort attacks the Potters. That goes more or less as canon. Except, Sirius meets Hagrid before Dumbledore does with little baby Harry. And he tells Hagrid to take him to the most protected place he knows, the last place anyone will expect Harry Potter to be. Take him to the Addams family. Morticia and Gomez had a baby girl last year. They would happily take baby Harry on as a favor to Sirius, especially if Rubeus also asked the same thing. Look after James and Lily"s baby? Certainly!

Enter Dumbledore who is forced to question a new potential interpretation of the prophecy: Marked as the Dark Lord's equal and being raised by the Addams Family? Yeah that definitely tracks, they are powerful. Power he knows not...? No one has figures out how the Addams family does what they do. So that could easily apply as well.

The primary difference between the Addams' and the rest of the Dark families, not only that they never joined up with Voldemort, but the fact that there is no shortage of love in their family, immediate and extended. That and if Dumbledore tried to take baby Harry out of Morticia Addams's arms, Mama Bear is going to come into play, and that is not a fight Albus Dumbledore will win, and he knows it. And the Addams' are quite surprised to hear that Sirius Black would go do such severe harm on a bunch of strangers as well as Peter Pettigrew. The family betting pools had him pegged as committing a crime of passion in a planned setting, not a public street. It's is rather impersonal. This had better be cleared up right away. Your first time should be something special, after all.

Sword Art Online had been a deeply immerse game that wouldn't have made it past the development hurdles without a Mental Health Monitoring AI to ensure the players were not at risk of harming themselves. Yui's growing a degree of sentience thanks to Kirito and Asuna had made her a friend, and peer in some ways. And even now, as a navigation pixie in Alfheim Online, she was very observant.

And remembered dates impeccably well, as did her in-game ‘parents’.

The date was one that would carry weight for Liana for the rest of her life. She had excused herself from playing in Alfheim Online with her friends and she had tried to be subtle about it. But she hadn't been alone with her sadness for more than twenty minutes before she was invited into a voice call with her Alfheim guild. Klein was complaining how Kirito had persuaded some NPC to give them a hugely cut discount on their last supply run. Agil and Leafa, Kirito's sister, were discussing a weapons upgrade.

"Weren't you all gonna be at the new dungeon opening?"

She had been quite confused at what they were doing. And there was a small lull that Yui piped up to fill, speaking from all thir devices at once.

"I noticed tonal shift in your speech patterns, and upon recognizing the date, I thought that being alone was not going to be good for you."

It seemed you could take a Mental Health AI out of the game, but you couldn't change her base code. Liana had felt a soft gratitude fill her at the sound of her friends voices. Asuna was the one who voiced their resolve.

“We weren't going to go into a dungeon without our Beast Master. It'll still be there later.”

And they hadn't played together, but just talked. Kirito had known Jax personally, from the Beta Test., so he would volunter some stories about the amusing accidents that could occurr when you were trying to learn the proper positioning for Sword Skill activation. Or how Jax had, with an absurdly high Stealth skill, pretended to be an NPC for a full two days by hiding his player icon. And Liana found herself telling more about him in life. How the traits he had manifested in Sword Art Online were reflected in his daily life. How he never needed to hear a song more than once before he had the lyrics memorized, pitch perfect. And they all let her talk. In hindsight, it was a skillful way of leading her into opening up.

And she did. With a confession that brought feelings of both shame and guilt.

“You know how some times, you'll pause while doing something and realize you're waiting for the system to identify how to interact with it? Or when you get a cut or scrap and remember that you can bleed again? Well, sometimes just after I wake up, I'll forget the game is over. And think I'm back in Aincrad. And for a second, I'm excited to be there. Not because I wasn't scared, but because when I was there, so was he.”

She hadn't even gotten to go to the funeral. They had all still been trapped in the game when he had been killed by a trap room. Jax's stealth stats had been among the highest in the game, and his trap detection skills made him excellent for guiding parties through the high XP grinding areas that had automatic, resetting obstacles on the 45th floor. She hadn't been high enough level to go with them, so he had left her on the 19th floor where she could work on bonding with one of her favorite companions, a crimson salamander she was coaxing through the steps to fledge out into a dragon.

All his possessions had been transfered to her upon his death. She had found out when she was notified that she had to sort her inventory beecause she didn't have enough room for all of his items. At the same time, Kirito got a message in which Jax asked him, from one elder brother to another, to look out for his sister and make sure she never got anywhere near the clearing party or the guilds that spearheaded that effort.

And through Kirito, Liana met Asuna, Yui, Agil and Klein. And she had someone to catch her. Then and now on the aniversary of his passing. The talk had been good after she vented some of her grief. Peaceful. Agil described his wife's latest frustrations with pregnancy. Klein put his foot in his mouth on three seperate occasions. Sugu and Ayano got into a minor disagreement about the virtues of a K-pop Group whose name she couldn't recall. Yui was flickering around her phone as they played through some cooperative puzzles while listening to everyone. All conversation was now on comfortably light subjects that helped her house feel less dead and silent. That made the day feel like just any other day.

Then Liana heard the distinct sound of hooves on pavement. The jingle of a harness. And that startled and worried her. She had read that coma patients sometimes had moments where they experienced some sensory hallucinations. A side effect of their brains having to self stimulate enough to function once they woke up.

“Does anyone else hear a horse?”

The call had gone silent when Liana asked this.

“Yuu, tell me five things you can touch.”

Agil's voice was deep and soothing, she could hear the worry in it as the eldest of their strange little group brought out what they affectionately called ‘dad mode'. He was prompting her to begin a grounding exercise to focus through whatever halucinations were coming.

“My sheets. My phone.”

She reached out blindly, trying to ignore the ringing hoofbeats that seemed to be coming ever closer. They had never been this strong before and it was somewhat scary to experience.

“My bedframe. The lamp by my bed. My- it's in my room. How is it in my room?”

She remembered seeing the horse looming over her, the smell of the animal and the creak of leather harness the groaning of wooden wheels. The walls of her room had somehow vanished. The horse was rather beautiful. Pitch black, but with liquid dark eyes that looked rather friendly. She felt paralyzed in her bed, gripping the sheets as tightly as she could.

“Stay with us Yuu, it's not real. Yui. Can you call her mom?”

“Right Papa!”

Their young AI friend had transferred herself entirely to Liana's phone and started the emergency dial up for Liana's mother. The SOS that she was having a hallucination and needed help grounding herself again. The black of the horse seemed to fill all her vision and the last thing she heard was her friends trying to get her to respond to them.

She didn't remember anything else after that.

Just waking up in the box.

I don't care if the damn bird calls it a gate. It's a coffin.

Everything that had transpired after that. Meeting Grim, learning about Night Raven College, seeing the little monster set fire to the hall, endangering the strange, hooded and robed throng of teenagers-

It was all too much.

Liana had given her avatars name reflexively when questioned about her identity. Yuu, a neutral name that had endless potential for puns, and had been a private joke between herself and her brother.

She had always enjoyed exasperating him into wordless frustration. So oftentimes the only word he had been able to get out was: ‘You...!’ He had made the first avatar for her and had given it that name as a little homage to her favorite pastime of driving her big brother up the wall as he did to so many others.

Dire Crowley, the headmage, had not impressed her with his portrayed intelligence. But then again, Kaiyaba had hidden under everyone's nose almost from day one during the death game. No one had realized he was there until Kirito forced him to reveal the fact that he had given his avatar Immortal Object status. His bluster and apparent lack of care or competence aside, she doubted that he was as harmless as he pretended.

I'd almost rather get kicked out of here. But if this is some sort of dream, it's probably better to let it play out normally as long as it's not actively traumatizing me. Lucid dreams get unstable and chaotic if I try to control them. And this is more interesting than repeating the same scene over and over again.

But there was one thing keeping her from writing this whole affair off as a dream. Liana held up her hand slowly making a fist. She couldn't see it in this light, but she could feel the bandages that covered it. She had helped smother the flames on a student when Grim had been lashing out. A boy with unreal red eyes and pale hair had not been fast enough to dodge the flames.

The burns on her palm from that experience were real. That pain was real. The blisters, the redness. The sensory transmitters in Alfheim could recreate the pain up to a certain point. But they didn't make the injury look as real as it had seemed when Crowley helped her put a dressing on her hand. There had been no faint pixelization in the air to indicate she had taken damage. That was 100% genuine.

But if that's the case, and I'm not dreaming...

She gave a short downward flick of her index finger at about chest height. A series of five white icons appeared in the air before her.

How can I access the SAO menu?

She knew it was the Sword Art Online menu. Her life had depended on the data that those five little white dots had held and what she had put into them. She knew the strange cool pressure on her finger of selecting an icon. The faintest resistance that swiping through the menus had they wouldn't respond too readily to unpracticed or uncertain movements.

And just like in SAO, the log out button was gone. So was the chat function, the map, the magic list, and her list of pets. She had her inventory, her skills, and that was about it. She returned to the default menu, mouth pressed in a tight line as she tried to think rationally. 

Fact, I definitely get hurt here like I do IRL. Fact. I definitely see and can interact with the menu. Though considering that I was hearing things earlier, I could still be hallucinating. But apparently the horse could also be real so I'm back at square one.

Her other hand tightened on her phone. She would normally have set it to charge, but she doubted this place was even wired for electricity. Listening to Crowley prattle, aka world exposition she was not in a position to pass up, she concluded that most things Earth used electricity for had been superseded by magic and magic stones.

 This whole scenario feels contrived. Like the tutorial of some sort of isekai game. Only the player doesn't miraculously get magic to help them survive.

Liana frowned at that thought, eyeing the menu dots again. She hadn't popped with unknown powers, but maybe... She tentatively reached out and tapped her attributes icon.

The stats of a Lv 73 Beast Master looked back at her and she gave a sigh of pure relief.

I was LV 65 when we escaped Aincrad. The other levels I got in Alfheim after converting my avatar into Summoner. And I'm 100% OK with getting abilities I at least know how to use instead of something entirely new.

She was very certain that if it were not her only way to communicate with her friends, people who knew what her life had been like while she was functionally a vegetable, Liana would never have picked up another game again. It had taken months for her to even try to get back into the multi-player games her brother first taught her to play on. In the end, she had chosen to not allow her joy in it to be stolen by a game designer with a god complex.

 A Beast Master's needed decent physical attributes, and good charisma to interact positively with animals and monsters, but her highest stat was actually her Perception. She had reasoned that people who were well in tune with animals in the real world were those that noticed their behavior and knew how to respond to him.

“That ain't how games work, sis. But...suppose this isn't exactly qualified to be called a game anymore.”

Jax's smiles had been much more rare after the Death Game began. It had taken concerted effort to draw them out of him where they had always come readily before.

High perception, meant a proportionately fast reaction time. Coupled with a high dexterity, it meant Liana had been able to keep up with much higher leveled players, while avoiding their notice most of the time. Jax had still kept her out of harms' way as much as possible while he worked to clear the game.

I can't focus on that right now.

She pulled herself out of her introspection, tapping into her inventory. It still had the items she had last placed in it while in Alfheim, though the text was blurred over some items. And there were other items that were defeinitely from SAO that she did not recall having in there.

It's some weird mashup of the SAO and Alfheim menu? I've got my old class, but the stats, level and skills of my new one.

Liana selected a basic set of clothes, casual wear she had made in SAO for the dirty daily work of tending to her pets and companions. It rested in her hand as she pulled it out of her Inventory, reaching over to the rickety chair, the only other secure piece of furniture in this bedroom, and placed it down carefully.

If you're still there tomorrow, then I can trust that the Menu is real and...and this is some new kind of game. Or my life is now a Gamer story. 

Grim muttered, rolling around by her side to curl into a tighter ball, paws tucked in to conceal his belly. Liana held her phone close to her chest, and accessed her menu to set a timer on how long she wanted to sleep. She wasn't sure what time it was right now. But as pretentious and dramatic a ceremony such as what she had seen, she would be astounded if the sorting was not held at midnight. And the average teenager needed 8-10 hours of sleep, so the following day of classes would hopefully be adjusted as a result.

She set a timer in her menu to wake her in 6 hours. She'd get her optimal amount of sleep once she knew if this world she had found herself in was safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft chime of her timer made Liana's eyes snap open. Grim groaned, flattening his ears to his head with his forepaws.

“Fglnha....Turn it off...” 

He can hear it too.

She quickly silenced the alarm and closed her menu with a flick of her hand, watching as he went back to snoozing. The sky outside was lightening but still far from proper daylight. She went into her settings and turned on Secrecy. With a high enough Stealth modifier, you could conceal your PC icon, and also your menu alerts from other players. This could be countered with a sufficiently high perception. But something told her that as long as she was discreet and careful, she would be able to hide the menu from most everyone.

Assuming this is a game where the NPC's can see the menu. Or not a game...

Her bandaged hand tightened, the faint throb of pain reminding her that this was not the sort of setting she was used to.

I'd better treat this as it's own death game until I figure out some rules. If this is a tutorial like I think it is, then I should get some more clues. Regardless, I'm playing it safe until I can figure out what to do next.

Liana carefully slipped out of bed to investigate the dorm. The clothes she had laid out the night before, pulled from her inventory, were still on the old chair. Further proof that she was either having a very consistent dream or she had somehow been transported to a new reality. She stuck close to the walls, judging that the floorboards were less creaky there than they were at the center of the floor.

The bathroom she had found the night before was in even worse shape in good light. But she still took advantage of the functional lock to change out of the ornate black and violet robe she had found herself in yesterday. The ceremonial attire that Grim had been so desperate to get his paws on.

Curious, Liana eyed it up and down and activated her little used Appraise skill.

Tight, even stitching. It fit me as though it were tailored. Very fine material, though not one I am familiar with. Possibly actual gold thread. Every student was wearing this last night, so I'm assuming I was a part of a large ritual that this was a component of. And it has hardly wrinkled even though I slept in it. Magical? No way for me to tell.

Storing it in her Inventory would be the easiest thing. She certainly didn't trust the closet or wardrobe. But this was also something she was known to have so if it wasn't easily visible, it could be a bit odd.

I'll have to get used to being called Yuu again.

Her Alfheim friends used her name and her screen name interchangeably. It wouldn't be that big of a stretch to go back to it. Just a different mindset that she had compartmentalized for her own well being.

Yuu didn't see people the same way as Liana did. Liana had never dealt with a genuine threat in her life. She grieved her brother, missed him and clung to her friends across the world to stay sane.

Yuu saw people as potential threats. And though she had accepted Jax's death, she was still angry over his loss. Yuu held onto her comrades like her life depended on it because it did.

There was an ominous sounding chuckle rising from the floor and Yuu looked down sharply to see the top of a hat poking through the floor.

“You're an early riser, prefe-”

One of the ghosts from last night froze upon seeing her, milky eyes going wide with shock. She carefully folded the robe as best she could, resolving to find someplace sheltered with hopefully less dust to keep it in.

“Good morning to you too. I don't think I caught your name last night.’

The ghost remained motionless, gawking at her. She crouched and poked at his face curiously. It felt like waving her hand through mist, only it wasn't wet but some other unique feeling. He flinched and popped wholly into the room, his form losing its distinction in shock.

“You're a girl!”

“Yeah. Guess it wasn't that obvious in the robe, huh?”

The ghost seemed genuinely distressed, wringing his hands and turning this way and that.

“Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. This is going to make some waves.”

Exposition?

“How so?”

Yuu rose to talk with him more readily, keeping her tone level and non accusatory. He seemed to be winding himself up well enough without her help.

“Night Raven College is a boy's school. And you've been presented to the Mirror as a student and accepted as one!”

“But I wasn't sorted in a dormitory.”

He waved his hands impatiently.

“That doesn't matter! Not every teenager that stands before the mirror has a clearly defined soul. Sometimes it takes a bit more time for them to figure out the direction of their ambition, and sometimes it even changes as they are here. The part that makes you a student of Night Raven College is the gate, the robe and the mirror, not the dormitory placement!”

It was part of a ritual. I knew it.

“What does being a student mean as opposed to being a guest?”

 On the one hand, being a student gave me a stable position and some measure of rights. And, should long term solutions become necessary, it gave me an identity in Twisted Wonderland.

On the other, it made me totally reliant on Crowley's good will and Grim's cooperation to keep myself safe from the other students. And I was made the only school prefect, which felt entirely like a token position.

“How does a prefect compare to a housewarden? What do they do?”

I asked Alfonse, one of Ramshackle's ghosts that evening as I hauled some broken furniture out of the room Grim and I had claimed as our own to a more open space. 

“Housewardens have a lot of authority in their own dorm. Prefects have a little bit of authority in every dorm. Generally, if there is an event that pulls students in from multiple dorms, prefects are there to help things run smoothly.”

“Crowley made me a student ambassador.”

Hugh popped through the door and helped grapple the other end of the more broken of the two bedframes I had found in the room.

“Quite literally. The different dorms are basically their own countries. And it's a good day when they don't come to blows just walking past each other in the cafeteria.”

I decided not to question my fortune in the ghosts being able to touch and manipulate real objects, or their willingness to help me move heavy things as we carefully made our way down the stairs. Since I didn't have much by way of funds, I wanted to make sure I could refuse and recycle as much of what existed in Ramshackle as possible.

That had been a brief, very one sided conversation where I was left with more questions than answers and solutions. Crowley had informed me that I was free to repair and alter Ramshackle as I pleased since Grim and I were the sole residents. But did he tell me what budget I had to work with? No, he was unsurprisingly an expert in dodging the questions I had regarding that.

And while a lot of the furniture looked worn and broken down, some of it was surprisingly sturdy and well made.

A good dusting, some replaced slats, a pass with some sandpaper and I'll have myself a decent chair. Anything with upholstery is a different matter, but I'll take the win.

The first week of school consisted of learning classroom locations, gulping down as much basic knowledge about the world as I could and getting a feel for the respective teachers' and faculty members styles and quirks. I could confidently say that picking a favorite was easy: it was Knox, the school nurse. A himbo in every sense with dark hair, dark eyes, and always with nuts and candy close at hand. And squirrels, oddly enough. He also had a cat, a small, absurdly fluffy looking creature who was glaring murderous at the camera, so he likewise gave Grim a look over when I broke up Grim literally eating a rock off the ground of the mine.

According to his assessment, Grim needed an incredibly high nutritional intake as he was a direbeast that manifested actual open flame. He needed the extra fuel to not only sustain himself but his fire. And if his flames got weak, he'd be at risk of injury, or his immune system being compromised.

It was incredibly funny to see this huge, hulking man cooing over the picture of an incredibly grumpy cat.

But I supposed that was pretty true to character. Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove was after all very much like that. And taking another look at that picture of the angry cat. It looked a lot like Yzma's feline form after a transformation potion went wrong. The similarity to the familiar character wasn't the only reason I felt so at ease, but it certainly contributed.

And Knox was one of the only people on campus who seemed to realize I didn't belong for an entirely different reason.

~

“It's totally your call on what I do. But no matter what the Dark Mirror did, you're still not exactly the typical student, miss.”

“You can tell? No one else has remarked on it.”

“That so? It seems obvious to me...”

 He frowned, squinting at me. Grim's ears flattened and he looked up from where he was chowing down on the treats Knox had blithely bribed him with. He jumped between us, paws spread wide sparks flying from his ears 

“Woah, human! Back off of my henchman!”

“It's OK Grim, we can-”

I stopped speaking, breath catching in my throat. I'd spotted the pattern just then. The rhyme and reason behind who seemed capable of seeing me clearly and who didn't. I finished my sentence as levelly as I could.

“-we can trust him.”

~

It was far from conclusive. Thus far, only the ghosts had remarked on my being a girl and had agreed to keep it a secret. Knox likewise assured me that he was a strict follower of Doctor-Patient confidentiality. But things were too different otherwise. Ghosts were ghosts and seemed to follow their own rules. Knox was a human mage. But it was a reassuring thing to imagine that I might, just maybe, have a way of gauging who I could trust. Or maybe vice versa, that once I trusted someone they could see through whatever the Dark Mirror did to make my presence go more or less unnoticed.

About a day after the Magestone Debacle, already well on its way to Might Raven College infamy in the gossip circles, I had a visit at Ramshackle. Reiner hovered before the door, looking determined but pleased.

“Miss Yuu, I may have found a way to secure you a more favorable living situation. May I come in?”

I invited Reiner inside and he drifted around the furniture instead of through it like I'd seen Alfonse, Beau and Hug do before. We didn't have much by way of a sitting room, and I sheepishly asked if there was anything that I could offer a ghostly guest.

“There are some steps a person can take to allow us to taste food. And there are memorial holidays where we can bring offerings back to the Netherworld. A planned, very formal and official visit would call for refreshments. As it stands now, since I came to you, you needn't even offer.”

I digested that factoid, tucking it away in my growing book of social cues for Twisted Wonderland. It was filed right alongside, ‘eye contact for beastmen is both a challenge and a warning’, ‘if a tall merfolk crouches to your level, they're being polite not condescending’ and ‘fae do partially still use the barter system and no one is sure how they assign value.’ Cater Diamond was a goldmine for me, and I definitely wanted to use that resource.

“Good to know, Mr Reiner. Is this a social visit?”

“Partly. Here.” He offered me an official looking envelope tied with a grey ribbon and a misty looking seal holding the flap closed. “This is just an offer, Yuu. But your words resonated with me. About the injustice of you being brought here without your consent and forced to rely on the Headmage's charity. I am sure what you would most prefer is being sent home. But that's beyond what the Netherworld and its residents can offer. What we can do is take up guardianship of you in a sense and get you involved in a Spirit Guide program.”

I was hanging on every word, and so was Grim, whiskers twitching as he stared at Reiner's ghostly tail. I pulled Grim into my arms, but he didn't stop staring.

“Spirit Guide? Is that like, a little angel sitting on my shoulder, a full time babysitter or a pseudo adoption?”

“The best way to describe it would be an apprenticeship. Plenty of skilled people, from brick layers to world famous alchemists, have died before they elected a successor to their work. Or conveyed trade secrets. If enough ghosts are interested, and they agree on a candidate, they can form a coalition and sponsor a living person to learn from them and carry on their work. This-” He held the letter out time again. “-is a letter inviting you to appear before the Seance Court. This would just be to explain everything in more detail. How your situation changes, expectations, and gives other ghosts a chance to get your measure.”

I swallowed, taking the letter which felt like it should weigh a 100 lbs.

“When...when would this be?”

The chef looked a little chagrined and laughed, clearly uncomfortable.

“Well, it turns out that there hasn't been a hearing for this sort of thing in a long time. Close to 40 years actually. And there are a lot of ghosts eager to pass on their knowledge.”

I broke the seal and opened the letter, scanning down to the date. I counted the days twice just to be sure.

“Tomorrow night, are you serious?”

Orientation had been on Sunday night. My misadventures with Ace and Deuce had been the following day, Monday. Today was Wednesday, and the invitation asked for me to appear on Thursday evening. Under the heading ‘dress code’ was the invitation to come ‘as you are’. Which was good because I had next to nothing.

“They got a little excited! Like I said, this hasn't been offered in a long time. Mostly due to the fact that there aren't many locations with enough ambient magic for ghosts to manifest as strongly as on Sage’s Isle.”

“Mr Reiner. How many ghosts are going to be at this thing?”

~

 The meeting was going to take place in the wooded area on the edge of Ramshackle Dorm's grounds near sunset. I had wrapped myself up in the ceremonial robe to stave off the chilly evening air. But it was not enough when surrounded by this many ghosts. There were so many of them, all crowded together, it was hard to tell where one ended and the next began. But looking around, I was surrounded by a ring of blue mist nearly 50 feet across.  But Reiner was sticking close to me and I was looking out over the assembled ghosts with a bit of trepidation. Grim had knocked out for a nap after being put through some remedial training by a much more himbo version of Gaston who was the equivalent of the gym teacher for this school. Actually, meeting all the teachers had been an exercise in keeping a blank face. The history teacher was a gender bent version of Madam Tremain, Cinderella's evil stepmother. And the alchemy teacher was very obviously a Cruella de Vil variant. He was also my homeroom teacher. Which apparently had a lot more weight in this school than simply monitoring students for the first part of the day. Frankly, the man scared me a little.

I'd rather deal with Crewel barking at me than these ghosts right now.

I strangled the fearful thought where it stood, forcing my back to remain straight and shoulders level. Not letting myself hunch in and betray unease of discomfort despite the chilly air swirling around me. The ghosts were all kinda merging together in a mass of pale blue and white and in the dark it was hard to tell them all apart. And the whispers were setting my nerves on edge.

Why do ghosts automatically have to mean things are cold?

I wished Grim was here. The tiny space heater that he was had made sleeping relatively comfortable even if he was a bed hog.

“Mr Reiner, what exactly are we waiting for?”

The rat beastman ghost leaned down to murmur to me.

“I decided to reach out to an expert on wrangling spirits. There are even more than I was told would be present.”

“How many more?”

I matched his tone and he looked very young and sheepish for a second.

“Maybe...20 or 30 more?”

One figure broke from the crowd and brought with him another icy current of air. His features gained distinction as he spoke.

“Well you bring a little gem like this to the table and of course everyone will be swarming.”

His voice was dark and smooth and the form that emerged didn't register properly at first. My initial thought was ‘centaur’. His top half was that of a handsome man with long hair, swept back from his face like he'd just emerged from water. Strong nose, high forehead, striking green-gold eyes. But the bottom half was weird, it was like he was sideways but still coming right at me. 

Then I realized his bottom half was a massive crab like body with his torso positions roughly where the eyestalks would be on a smaller specimen. His shell was practically gleaming, embedded with gems that glittered even in death. And when he was fully separated from the waiting crowd, his shell and skin lit up with a rainbow of bioluminescence.

He extended a hand with a smile that sent off alarm bells in my head. 

“The name's Tamak, little gem. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

The feeling is so not mutual, please back off.

Reiner drifted between us, growing darker and throwing the crab merfolk a fierce glare.

“You know how we do these things Tamak, wait your turn.”

“I'm just being friendly. The little mite was almost shaking where he sat.”

I seized on those words and resolved to not have anything to do, if I could help it, with the Tama'toa like character. The crab had given me the ick when he was just a giant crab. But this man felt like a predator.

Tama'toa targeted Maui and Moana's personal weaknesses during their encounter. Ruthlessly. If I give this guy an inch he'll take a mile.

And the fact that Tamak referred to me as he was further support that there was something interfering with his perception.

Tamak was several times larger than Reiner, in fact he towered over him. But the chef held his ground between me and the menacing crab. The whispers from the crowd had fallen silent. Save for a few muttered and a swirling that formed to the left behind Tamak.

“Thank you for your concern, Tamak. But we aren't starting until my requested guide is here.”

Reiner said politely, not quite baring his teeth but standing firm. Tamak narrowed his eyes, the pleasant smile dropping to reveal a cold calculation. Then he looked over his head at me and the smile was back, the performance all for me.

Red alert!

“This gutter resident surely doesn't speak for you, gem.”

I felt like speaking was both a bad idea and highly necessary. But I was saved by a slender blue ribbon of ghostly presence launching out of the crowd and appearing with a puff beside Tamak. It took the form of an elderly woman with a broad, friendly face and long pure white hair. And she glared at the large crab fearlessly.

“Bold words coming from the biggest bottom feeder in the ocean, Tamak.”

She wore a sleeveless wrap dress and had no shoes on but there was a commanding presence to her that could not be denied. Even Tamak withdrew slightly, a subdued sneer on his face.

“Lia. As lovely as ever.”

His tone made these short words sound as disdainful as possible. She jabbed her finger at him and then back and away from the gathering.

“You know the law. You've got another 313 years before your sentence is lifted and you can offer your services as a guide. We'll not stop you from observing, but that is all you may do. Is that clear?”

And this reminder seemed to enrage Tamak even as he withdrew into the crowd. He didn't cast another glance at me, all his vitriol was focused on the woman, Lia. She didn't budge, hands on her hips as she stared after him.

But the atmosphere seemed a lot lighter once he had disappeared back into the crowd of ghosts. Lia turned back to Reiner, her face lightening with a smile.

“Sorry we were late, sweetheart. Once you get to our age, you move at your own pace. She's coming now.”

And the circle of ghosts loosened into a more distinct pattern when one especially bright ribbon of presence streaked in. It formed into a cloaked, hunched figure that tapped a transparent cane on the ground as they moved. The kind a blind person would use as a guide. The cane whipped out but Lia dodged it with a sigh, looking rueful at the antics.

“Odile, dear, the ‘old blind woman’ bit doesn't work so well once you're dead.”

My mind moved at lightning speed.

Reiner said we were waiting for a ghost expert. These women both had some weight in their community. And the new arrival was accustomed to being seen as an ‘old blind woman’

If that isn't Mama Odie...

The hooded figure turned towards me, the features of the face difficult to make out in the myriad of white and gray. And a long fingers hand lifted to under the hood for a brief moment...Then a loud cackling belly laugh startled me, making my heart leap into my throat. Odile straightened, dropping her hood and looking straight at me with a toothless grin. Her eyes were the same milky white as the rest of her body and she lowered a pair of darker gray glasses back over them.

“Not in this one it won't! Oh Rein, you've found a good one!”

Several figures turned towards me with interest. Men and women alike, and with a few beastmen scattered among them. This felt like a critical endorsement in this process.

Odile drifted right up to me, holding out a hand.

“Good even, sugar. Names Maman Odile, like crocodile. If you're willing, I'd like to help you figure out what's what with this business going forward.” She tilted her head with a grin. “And can teach you to make some banging gumbo while I'm at it.”

~

Having some experience with food, and with Reiner demonstrating, Maman Odile set me to deveining the shrimp as she chatted with me. She asked about everything from my hobbies to my goals. And told stories about the rapscallions she raised as children and grandchildren. Even with the night growing darker, the kitchen of Ramshackle seemed a bright and merry place. Maman had thrown a glare at the old lights at the ceiling and they had hurriedly blinked on as though scared to cross her.

I mean, I would be too.

Reiner chopped the veggies and prepared the aromatics for the gumbo while Maman washed a pot of rice and set it on the stove. I gave it about 15 minutes before Grim smelt the food and came downstairs.

“Now then, Miss Yuu. You got an opportunity here. It may be making the best of a bad hand, but it's an opportunity all the same.”

The old ghost never stopped moving as she pulled a few shakers and small bottles out of her sleeves. She set them up on the counter and snapped her figures to conjure a large pot on the stove that quickly turned on.

“Ghosts got habits and holdovers from their lives. Sometimes, their lessons won't be so free and easy. They'll teach you, but they'll have things they want in exchange. Maman's been listening to you, and you've got something rarer than a blue firefly in the bayou.”

“What would that be?”

She chortled, dropping in a large pat of butter into the pot. I scooped the prepared shrimp into a bowl and placed them on the counter with the other ingredients. Then I went to wash my tools because the funky smell that came from seafood set in if not cleaned up right away. Luckily, I'd been allowed to take a small bottle of soap from the kitchen during dinner.

“A decent heart, and sharp eyes are already uncommon. But you got both these things in Night Raven College. That's gonna stand out, even if that fancy looking glass o’ theirs has made you pass for a boy. Put them shells and tails into this pot with the veggie trimmings and cover them with water. ”

More evidence to support my theory that trust plays into whether people can see me as I am. Also, homemade stock. That's definitely something to remember as option for food.

If I couldn't trust Mama Odie, or her equivalent, then I was hosed in more ways than one. I did as she directed, but kept up speaking with her.

“How will that help me when it comes to dealing with ghosts?”

The butter was already sizzling the first pot as she dropped in several spoonfuls of flour and tapped a whisk to make it start stirring up a smooth roux. I placed the stock pot on the other lit burner and covered it with a lid to get to temperature. 

“It already has. I know Reiner. He had a Spirit Guide himself, Ol’ Gus taught him everything that a person can do in the kitchen. He wouldn't put this out there if he didn't think you could stick it out, or that you'd do the same thing and pay it forward for the next person who needs it.”

So it's a referral based thing. I suppose since ghosts are around for...practically the rest of time just having connections to the living world could have a lot of value.

I looked at the chef who fidgeted slightly.

“That sounds like you were only taught by one person.”

“He only had one thing he wanted to do and had to know and that was food. Here, chop these inta little coins.” Maman threw a package of smoked sausages at me which I barely caught. “You're starting from less than nothing in this world. Even the stuff that keeps the lights on is different from what you're used to. You got a lot more to learn if you're gonna get a handle on living by yourself.”

“The headmage said he was going to try and find a way home.”

This felt like a weak excuse even as I said it. It made Maman Odile crow with laughter, wiping at her eyes under her glasses.

“Oh did he now? Well, we can take that as meaning he'll do something but it's anybody's guess as to what that'll be. Maman's take on things is this is brand new territory. Someone coming from another world with no magic. By all rights, there shouldn't have been a way here for you. So there's no way of telling how long it'll be before someone finds you a way back. So until then, best to learn everything and get yourself set up as if you were gonna live here. It ain't pretty, it ain't nice, it ain't fair, and I'm sure you'll get awful homesick. But that's what we're looking at.”

This was an unmistakably practical outlook. And even listening to this frankness made me feel better than Crowley's offhand assurances that he would research a way for me to return home again. Even her acknowledgement that I could miss home felt soothing. Right now, I was sure I was still in survival mode. Just moving along one day at a time. I moved mechanically, trying to keep the sausage slices as even as possible.

“That makes sense even if it is depressing.”

It was probably a better deal than I could expect from mist anyone else. The goodwill to help a stranger seemed to be in short supply in this school. It made it much more clear as to why Ace and Deuce had both decided to pursue a friendship with me. I was something they couldn't expect to find in many other their current peers.

That or getting chased by a monster in an abandoned mine caused us all to trauma bond in the extreme. Which I shouldn't rule out.

“What do I need to do to accept this...program?”

“That'll take a minute to fix up so you just leave that to Maman. In the meantime, you gonna start learning. Reiner's gonna help you get skills to live, and me and mine will help talk to the other ghosts so we can get decent folk together to help you out. You gotta think about what it is you wanna learn.”

The nutty smell of the browning butter and cooking flour filled the air and made my stomach perk up hopefully. I'd not eaten since lunch. Officially, the dorms were responsible for their own dinner. There came a sudden scramble of claws on wood and carpet from upstairs and dust fell from the ceiling.

Grim’s awake again.

Maman tutted, waving the dust away from the food and eyed the cracked plaster of the walls and ceiling again.

“Gonna get sicker than a dog if you breathe in this stuff for too long.” 

She contemplated for a moment, tapping the whisk on the edge of the pot with a frown.

“Whatever's cooking, I want double servings!”

Grim entered with a rapid scampering of his paws on the old wooden floors, skidding through Reiner’s legs and into the counter. He shook off the undignified tumble and started eyeing the bowl of raw shrimp on the counter.

Maman weilded a wooden spoon with expert precision and warded his hungry paws away from the small crustaceans. I caught Grim's attention with a piece of sausage.

“Leave the shrimp for the gumbo, Grim. They'll taste even better once they're all cooked up with our spices and served over rice.”

He inhaled my offering with shining eyes, doing a happy little dance.

“As expected of my henchmen, you came through with dinner for us!”

I didn't do much actually, and I am wondering where Maman is getting the ingredients from.

I was only going to question a free dinner if someone came and tried to make me pay for it with funds I didn't have.

Note to self, get someone to explain how the money system works around here.

Until I had an idea of the value of the currency, I would have no idea if any pay rates I could get were fair.

“You sit your fuzzy self down! You ain't sneaking off with my ingredients, no sir!”

Maman caught Grim by his scruff and plopped him at the kitchen table. “Set the table, scamp, three settings.”

Three?

I assumed if Maman told Grim to lay out three settings that she did so for a reason.

“I think I've got an idea on what I would like to do first.”

So I pulled together my faculties and began to lay out needs I had noticed. I didn't want handouts, I wanted to be able to provide for myself. The list included learning how to make Ramshackle livable, learning about the various other species of Twisted Wonderland, learning the value of currency as well as getting caught up on the functional technology of the day and basic first aid. And learning to defend myself even against mages because there had been at least 1 fight a day in the cafeteria and only the fact that I had Deuce, Ace and Grim on my side had let me escape without getting pummeled.

“Most everything else can be secondary to that.”

This list of mine took more than 30 minutes to run through. Maman had had me add the minced vegetables and sliced sausage to the roux, which was a lovely dark color and was now softening the greenery in there. And I was stirring the roux carefully to make sure it didn't burn.

“What I'm hearing, hon, is you wanna get as self sufficient and independent as possible.” Maman Odile nodded firmly. “And I can work with that. Already got a name in mind to lend a hand about fixing this place up a bit. Reiner and Mr Porter can get you started by working with them in the kitchens rather than letting the headmage run you all over the place. Reiner can apply to take you as an apprentice chef. He needed to get cleared to be able to teach their culinary courses as is. You'll be taken on with him the whole instead of a little bit here and there. We'll have a chat with our legal man too. Now, be a doll and strain that stock for me. We're about ready to bring everything together for the last simmer.”

Reiner went over the paperwork with me to sign on as kitchen help for Night Raven College. As well as a basic beginnings of what the pay would be. It would be menial, but it was so much more than the nothing I had right now. And he did say that the hours would require some early mornings for me since I would have to be up to help prepare ingredients for lunch. Breakfast preparations took place the evening before for breakfast. At least four hours of my school day would be dedicated to this, with weekends off to allow for homework and rest.

“I still expect you to come by for your meals on the weekends, even when you're not going to work.”

And the rat beastman ghost said this in a way that allowed for no argument and I was grateful for it. The gumbo smelt amazing and Maman Odile was fluffing the rice to be served. Grim was salivating at the scent of the Cajun spices and the scent of shrimp and salty sausage blending in the air.

“Well I think we've made a lotta good progress.” the old female ghost proclaimed, slipping a bottle of what looked suspiciously like hot sauce out of her sleeve and giving it a few shakes over the simmering pot. “Let's dish up and we'll leave you be, dearie.”

I still didn't question the third bowl, and I did have to keep Grim from taking it.

“If you want more, just get seconds, henchhuman.”

“Right back at you, fuzzball. If Maman Odile said to have three, I'm gonna trust she had a reason and it wasn't to let you have two from the get go.”

The old ghost cackled as she dispersed into blue mist.

“Oh indeed I do. You're in for some fun, honey. Be smart now!”

She was gone in an instant. I looked to Reiner.

“I feel like I just met with a life coach or academic counselor.”

He shrugged.

“Not too far off. Maman's the one who matched me with Gus when I wanted to learn to cook. She'll do right by you, Yuu.”

The relief I felt at having something more than prayers and blind faith merged with gratitude even as Grim attacked his food with gusto.

“I am going to owe you so much for this.”

He waved his hands.

“I'm not a deal maker, so don't go putting that out there. Besides, kitchen work like what you'll be doing is pretty demanding. So we'll see how grateful you feel after your first few shifts.”

“I know what to expect for meal prep on this scale. And I feel a lot better about being grateful for your generosity than only having the headmage in my corner.”

At this, there came a heavy knock at the door that made Reiner and myself look towards the sound. Hugh, the smallest of the ghosts, popped out of the ceiling.

“You expecting a Heartslabyl boy, Yuu?”

“I'm not but someone was. Here, make sure Grim doesn't eat everything.”

There were only 2 Heartslabyl boys that could be at my door right now. And I had a hunch who it would be.

Sure enough, when I opened the door, standing on the ragged excuse for a porch was Ace Trappola. Wearing a thunderous scowl and a heavy, black and red heart shaped collar around his neck. And what he greeted me with? 

“I'm transferring to Ramshackle.”

“I'll get it. Can you grab that metal dustpan?”

Talking Grim into doing anything helpful took patience and bribery. But we had a pattern. I swept up the garbage while he held the dustpan. I picked out the plastics and non flammable materials, then Grim incinerated the rest. He did seem eager to do as I asked, the blue flames of his ears burning a little brighter at the prospect of playing with fire. With the behavior he was displaying, it was hard to tell if he was a child, or a teen equivalent and undersocialized. 

And overhead, the statues of seven unmistakable, iconic Disney villains loomed. I recognized all of them. They were my childhood. Types of their flaws, foibles and virtues had been prevalent in a number of original stories and remakes.

Thank goodness whatever isekai BS brought me here is letting me understand their language whether I hear it or read it. 

The inscriptions of each statue were evocative but vague.

“‘The Queen of Hearts’. ‘The Sea Witch’, ‘The Fairest Queen’. I wonder why none of their names are shown...”

Some names were not given in the original tales. But there were most of them who did have names.

“Huh, you're right, they don't show the names.” Grim affirmed, whiskers twitching and his ears swiveling towards the statues. “Nya, who are all these people, henchman?”

I wasn't sure what to answer here. There had been a few instances when people would swear by ‘the Great Seven’. And if these people had statues built to them in all sincerity...

Yeah, my take on all of these people probably shouldn't be mentioned.

“I'm just as in the dark as you are.”

A little white lie. Likely the first of many I would tell in this bizarre dream.

A short laugh sounded from behind and I glanced back. The student had red orange hair that just barely fell into his eyes, startling red eyes and a mischievous grin. His uniform looked very new and still had some creases from being unworn and his tie and armband were red.

Oh yeah, you're gonna be a problem.

“Wow, what kind of rock have you been living under if you don't know the Great Seven?”

I felt a flicker of annoyance and leveled a deadpan at him.

“I'm not from Twisted Wonderland, wiseguy.”

His expression shifted from taunting to genuine surprise.

“Wait, for real?”

“You get to put on your resume that you've met an alien. You're welcome.”

I picked up the dustpan full of ashes now that it was cool from Grim blasting it, and dumped it into the garbage can the Headmage had given us. A large, sturdy thing that was barely a quarter full.

The place he gave me to live may be a few stiff breezes away from collapsing on itself. But his janitorial equipment is top tier.

“Can't say that yet. I don't know your name.”

I gave the boy a sidelong look, feeling a small smirk form.

“I said it to the Dark Mirror last night. You must have been standing really far back to not have heard it.”

Or, and I had a hunch this was more likely, I just heard this guy saying he skipped out on a school ceremony that appeared to be pretty important given how some people reacted to Grim interrupting it. His grin went rigid for a split second then he recovered.

“Well. You didn't exactly shout it.”

“True.” You totally ditched last night. “I'm Yuu.” For the time being at least, I am Yuu.

I offered a hand to see what he would do. To his credit, he took it and shook it. Albeit a bit weakly. There was no respect to be found here and I steeled myself for the trouble I could almost smell coming.

“Ace Trappola from Heartslabyl. When you get a chance, you should look into the Great Seven. They're a pretty big deal around here.”

“I figured given the statues.”

I was staying neutral, still suspicious of Ace, no matter how friendly and helpful he may seem. But Grim had no such reservations and launched into questions about the statues. And the freshman complied, presenting each member of the Great Seven with the air of a natural showman.

The Queen of Hearts looked pompous and proper. The virtue of Severity was what her dorm espoused.

You can't see on here just how batspit crazy she is portrayed. Or that she was perfectly happy to behead a literal child and change laws on a whim to appease her pride. Mary Elizabeth Heart is not a monarch worth respecting to most any reasonable person.

This was assuming a major thing however: that this culture would be one that I considered reasonable. And that she was actually in the wrong.

This thought did make me listen very closely to try and figure out what the situation actually was. Were these people actually good people? Or were they villains who had won and thus the retelling of their story had changed?

The story King of Beasts made me grateful that Grim and Ace weren't paying attention to me. Because Scar's reign had not been marked by triumph, happiness or inclusivity for all. And I noted that Ace's story of his exploits in uniting his nation made no mention of his brother or nephew.

Well for him, I can see why his name wouldn't be shown. In one lore, his name literally meant ‘trash’, and in the other he got labeled ‘Scar’ for getting injured in some way in a humiliating accident.

I was still very concerned at the prospective fratricide, regicide, child endangerment, emotional blackmail, that might be swept under the rug for this tale. But Ace was moving on to Ursula's statue, her broad grin sending an unpleasant shiver down my spine as she held up a contract.

Benevolent? No. No, absolutely not.

 Treason, identity theft, abuse of power, were all crimes. But my beef with Ursela was her manipulating a naive child for her own gain, blackmailing a well intentioned father for his child's safety, and trying to sabotage the success of one of her ‘clients’. And I doubted it was the first time she had done any of the above. No, Prince Eric could turn her into takoyaki and I wouldn't feel a smidgen of guilt.

I glanced at the statue of the Noble Vizier and shivered.

Jafar's portrayed behavior towards Jasmine had first taught me was sexual harassment looked like. Add the blatant attempted murder, exploitation and enslavement of beings who couldn't refuse him? Yeah, lock him up in that ‘itty bitty living space’, throw away the key and sink that lamp into lava.

The Fairest Queen looked down from her carved visage as though we were all beneath her.

Don't look so snooty, your majesty. Your crimes include but are not limited to, several counts of attempted murder, child abuse, child exploitation, physical and emotional neglect, and resisting arrest. Though compared to the rest of your rap sheet, that last one is pretty tame.

Her name was not ever mentioned in the classic Disney portrayal. But I knew it. Queen Grimhilde was her name. She was not just ‘evil queen’. 

It would be easier to see you all as people if they didn't just talk about your role and actually told me about you.

That thought did make me speak up.

“How come none of these statues have names? They had such big accomplishments, but they're only referred to by their titles.”

That drew Ace up short who genuinely looked bemused.

“Well for some of them, their descendants are still around today. So if their names were known all over the place, then it could cause problems for them, see?”

“I guess.” Ok, explain the freaking lion having descendants that we could encounter or recognize. I'll wait.

“Hey, hey tell me about this sharp looking guy!”

It totally tracked that Grim would be excited by the guy whose head was literally on fire. Hades had some positive portrayals in the media I knew, but this iteration just felt...slimy. Like every bad stereotype of a used car salesman. And there was the whole, end of times apocalyptic scheme...and still more functional slavery and exploitation.

I understand that some creative license has to be taken, but the Titans generally didn't discriminate over which gods they killed. And since a lot of them are imprisoned in Tartarus that makes Hades their warden, not their brother or leader.

It was a point of creative conflict that I couldn't quite reconcile. And the other part of it being if he was so tired of being overworked, getting a promotion to ‘king of everything’ wasn't exactly going to help his situation.

And then the last statue. The most enigmatic of villains in one respect. And a sympathetic one in another depending on which story you knew. A single pair of horns crowned her head in a regal bearing that no tiara or royal regalia could match. She stood straight, but I couldn't help but see, or maybe imagine, was she leaning on the staff she held for support? The statue was certainly meant to be imperial and invoke the spirit of nobility that the dorm built in her honor espoused. But the thought persisted in the back of my mind, was she as strong and immovable as she appeared or was she hiding a crippling vulnerability. Stone eyes gazed over my head as the word escaped my lips.

“Maleficent...”

There was an instant shiver in the air. A palpable response that made me clamp my lips shut and vow to not speak that name aloud again. Fairies were all about names. They could be used to get someone's attention, summon supernatural beings or enthrall someone. It was a huge mistake to forget that even for a moment. Rookie mistake for someone who liked to think of themselves as genre savvy.

Thankfully, the idiot duo beside me hadn't seemed to notice my slip up. And judging by the malicious grin that was slipping out of Ace's poker face, whatever joke he'd been setting up at Grim's expense was about to play out.

~~~~~~~~~

Intellectually, I knew that the headmage had to deliver some kind of punishment to all of us. But at risk of sounding like an angsty teenager: It was so not fair that he put any of this bullshit on me.

Yeah, I'd persuaded Grim into helping me scare the ghosts away when they'd frightened us both last night. And he had been more than willing to show off for the head of the institution he desperately wanted to be part of afterwards. But keeping his cool against blatant provocation? When he had seen first hand how the cat reacted to being challenged? That was something I would take no responsibility for. Not when Grim had done exactly as I had intended for him to and acted as my defense. I didn't have the capability to stand up for myself since my not having magic was the first and likely only thing people would recall about me.

Crowley was adoptnig a slightly patronizing tone, like he was speaking to someone very slow.

“You were in no danger, Yuu. He attacked a student without-”

“Don't you dare say it was without cause. Trappola was looking to provoke that kind of response and approached us fully intending to get it. A fact that you as an educator doubtless knew would occur, given your immense experience with how your own students typically behave. In fact, given the extremely convenient timing of your arrival, I must speculate that you were in fact watching and waiting for this very thing to happen.”

I was then made privy to the bizarre sight of someone sweating through a mask. I must have struck a nerve. Even Ace’s belligerent defense of his actions was cut off by the sight of arguably the most influential person in all of Night Raven College looking like a child caught with the cookie jar lid askew and crumbs on his face. That is to say: Guilty.

“You have no way of knowing that, Yuu. Th-this is highly irregular!”

Crowley stuttered through a meager defense. I shut it down flatly.

“I come from a world without magic, headmage, not a world without teenagers.”

More subtly saying: what kind of an idiot do you think I am?

~~~~~~~~~~

The encounter still ended with the three of us being given the detention of windows to be washed. 100 of them.

“This smells like another set up.” I groused to a ghost who worked in the kitchen. “I've been given an assignment but none of the power or authority to fulfill it. It'll have to be a cold day in hell if Ace shows up for that assignment of his own accord.”

The ghost who had introduced himself as Renier, hummed, the vague impressions of mousey ears peeking out from under his chef's hat.

“That wouldn't surprise me. Night Raven Students respect power, not authority. And so long as you have no power, you'll get no respect.

“Thank you for summing that up.”

“Seconds?”

My sarcastic remark was blithely offset by the chef offering ore food with uplifted ladle and a smile. I sighed and offered up my bowl because the man had made a banging potato and leek soup. Creamy, bracing, with a sprinkle of excellent complimentary spices and a sprinkle of chopped bacon. Getting actual food in me had done wonders for my mood. I actually felt like I could get through the afternoon without committing homicide. Or whatever it was called when a beastman was brutally murdered.

“Yes please.”

Grim pawed at my leg, whiskers shiny from when he had polished off his second bowl.

“What’re you so salty for, henchman? I'll give them all a good thrashing and everyone will bow down to the Great Grim! You'll get a boost by extension.”

I patted the fiery hellcat's ears fondly, but with more of a grimace than a smile to offer him.

“Remember what I said last night? Setting things on fire isn't a good way to make a school want you as a student. And that includes other students. I hate needing to knuckle under to them when they're being jerks, but this is the only place you and I have got for now.”

Given the presence of villains from Disney stories lauded as heroes, icons and role models, even my vast knowledge of Disney was useless. Simply assuming everything was reversed seemed like a bad idea all around. Grim didn't know much more than I did about the non-monster population and the one person who had volunteered any info had been looking to yank my chain.

A warmed bowl was placed back in my hands and Renier gave me a smile. He was much more distinct from the Ghosts of Ramshackle, likely because he was still younger and more recently deceased. He actually looked more human if you ignored the little rodent ears and thin whip-like tail. Just a bit pale, slightly blue and see through. 

“Sounds like you've got a lot to worry about.”

I sighed, taking my spoon up again, though my appetite was trying to slip away.

“Yeah. This time yesterday, I didn't have to worry about becoming homeless if I tried to preserve my own dignity.” The thought came, mirthless and sardonic. “Or becoming homeless if my current roof collapses on my head.”

“It's a tight spot, no bones about that.”

Renier sounded like he was thinking about something. Porter, an older ghost who acted as the pasties, seemed to be listening in as well. His cheeks were flushed a slightly darker shade of blue, mirroring a rosy complexion in a living person. He had a comfortable, rounded look to him with wisps of curling hair tucked under a chef's cap.

The sympathetic ear was making me want to spill my guts. But I wasn't optimistic that this would improve. And this was all still the first day.

“I must sound silly to you, worrying about these things.”

“Not silly, dear. Sad.” Mr Porter said kindly, depositing a fresh cookie on a napkin in my lap. “Most people your age never need to worry about the sorts of things you've gotten dumped on you in a terribly short amount of time. And if you bottle it all in, you will go mad.”

“It's only been one day, Mr Porter.”

I ignore how meek my voice sounds. How shaky it feels. Just a hair away from cracking. Grim was eyeing the cookie on my lap, but also trying to watch for Reiner's sharp, whip crack tail which had had used to swat him away from going after my food. Which I appreciated.

Because 24 hours ago, my biggest worry was a school math test. Now I had to deal with essentially being kidnapped from my home with no money, identity or place to turn to. I was totally dependant on Crowley's whims for the time being. And I did not not trust the flamboyant bird.

I had never been so scared in my life when I woke up this morning and realized that the events in the Mirror Chamber had not been a dream.

The ghostly hand patted my shoulder gently. The care and empathy showing in Mr Porter's soft gaze making me feel even more weak and vulnerable.

“Indeed. Much more has happened to you in a single day than should ever happen to anyone.”

“It doesn't change that it's my problem to deal with now, unfair or not.”

A second cookie was placed oon top of th first and one was handed to Grim so he would leave my treat alone. Reiner looked much like his assistant. Understanding and compassionate in a way that I couldn't help but believe.

“Certainly not, Yuu. And we can't fix everything about your situation. But just know that my kitchen is always going to be open to you.”

The ghost of a rat beastman moved me to tears right then. Just a few little tears before I steeled myself to go back out and face a world that would not have much mercy for me. But here, I'd rely on the old idiom that ‘dead men tell no tales’ and grieve for a little while.

~~~~~~~~~~

Yuu washed her bowl, cajoled Grim into helping her, and left the kitchen to return to work with a word of thanks. And a comment that had made the chef pause and think.

“I like the use of white pepper instead of black. It smooths out the flavor profile and complements the butteriness of the potatoes.”

 Reiner watched her go, ghostly nails drumming silently on the counter as he gnawed the inside of his cheek. A look he had seen once before on Chef Gus, a world renowned chef who had taken a chance on a young rat beastmen. Mr Porter eyed the younger ghost, waiting.

Reiner had defied all odds to go from being a homeless gutter rat, almost literally, to advancing to a 5 Star Chef with his ghostly mentor's aid. Even now, he remained frozen in the prime of his life, the age he had achieved his goal. And doubtless Yuu's blunt, pragmatic words had impacted him more than he had been willing to show. Now with the display of her appreciation of food...

“Mr Porter, would you say there's enough prep work to validate the addition of a kitchen helper?”

Mr Porter slowed in his swift peeling of potatoes for the evening meal.

“I believe such an argument could be made, chef.”

“And would the coalition be willing to back a still living soul?"

He kept working methodically.

“You'd have to ask Alfonse, Barry and Hugh. Ramshackle's still a dorm of the school and their its only ‘students’. If it's been long enough, I think there could be some very obscure sort of rules that would allow someone in Miss Yuu's situation, as a nonentity in any governing system, to be claimed under the Nether's protection and a Spirit Guide program be instated for her-”

The chef's thin tail slapped into a counter as he puffed through the floor. If Mr Porter were a betting man, he'd wager Reiner was making his way to Ramshackle to collect additional backing from its three ghostly residents to get Yuu some sort of guardian.

One that would actually see to her care and well being.

 The Dark Mirror seemed to be obscuring her gender from registering as unusual to anyone. Either a small courtesy, or a massive insult. Crowley would absolutely behave differently if he knew he was forcing manual labor in a hostile environment on a girl. No, for some reason, the Dark Mirror called Yuu here, and was determined to not allow her to leave regardless of her own safety.

The saying ‘dead men tell no tales’ had several interpretations and roots. One being, that the grave was the keeper of many secrets. Another was that the dead didn't lie. But the true meaning of it was this: Ghosts don't gossip about their own.

Yuu was alone in the world, not a living soul to turn to save a direbeast. And she was living in Ramshackle, had been accepted by the school as a student yet was not placed in one of the living dormitories. On paper, she did not exist. Even the dead were allowed the dignity of an obituary and death certificate. But she had no existence save her presence to show anything about herself. Even if she managed to scrape by and make a living, she would be trapped by the lack of documents and identification.

If the living world would reject her, then the Nether would claim her and see to it that she got to live. Regardless of what the Dark Mirror seemed determined to inflict on her.

Mr Porter hurried to complete the prep and reorganize the standard procedures to allow for a living person to assist in them in the kitchen. Reiner had decided that Miss Yuu was going to be sponsored by the Netherworld and he would be the one to do assume responsability for her. And he had high hopes that he would do well. He certainly would have to work very hard to do worse than Crowley.

“Welcome to the house of the dead, Yuu. We'll look after you.”

A/N